Day 2 at the immigration office. Not that bad, though- was only there for about an hour each day. And tomorrow should do it- this time we'll show up at 8am, telephone and electric bill in hand for proof of address and I should be good. This is to renew my visa (FM2 or 3, I always forget), and the this time next year I can apply for citizenship. I'll have dual, American and Mexican. You didn't used to be able to have dual citizenship, you had to denounce one to take the other, but I guess the laws have changed. The other thing that's changed is all the cards now come from Mexico City; so although we'll be finished tomorrow, then we wait for the card. If the process goes fine, you get the card in 2-3 weeks. But we were sitting next to a guy who's been waiting for his since November last year. Another guy yesterday had been waiting a long time as well, and a lady came in today while we were there and she checked the list on the wall for her name, shook her head and left. This is Mexico, maybe it will take 3 weeks and maybe it will take 3 months, and follow the same process. ha ha if you have a problem, you're screwed. When we went yesterday she told us to go home and go to this website and follow the instructions, but when we did that this morning, nothing came up so we went back down there. The other lady helped us and she was really nice, and she did it for us. The only problem was my address changed since last year, hence we have to bring those bills tomorrow. It's funny- the electric bill is not even in our name, but she said it didn't matter, bring a paid one. The telephone bill is in my name so that's good.

When we did this last year, for the first time, we had to go up to Acapulco- a 2 hour drive- and we got there at 9am right when they opened and it took all day, but they issued me a card right there. That was of course after walking to the bank twice, to make copies once or twice, and walking to a picture place. And then there was the tiny problem that I was in Mexico illegally, ha ha! When we came across I had processed the truck and trailer paperwork and didn't notice they never stamped my papers for my visa, so in Acapulco I had to pay a fine and "admit" by signing a confession (ha ha) that I was at fault. We got pulled over so many times driving down thru Mexico to Guerrero pulling that trailer, but every time they only asked for Everardo's ID, and usually as soon as he answered yes to the question if I was American, we were let go..we paid no bribes until we were all the way down in Acapulco and I know I already wrote about that experience getting pulled over every 5 minutes...and paying to pass...
So this has been relatively painless; the office is only open 8am to noon, and fingers crossed, we'll finish it tomorrow. One trip to the bank, I already got the pictures, and we should be good.

Today we had English class with the group that is just slightly ahead of the other; 3 or 4 students who have been coming all along, and when we practiced the song....THEY WERE AMAZING! We're gonna sing our surprise song/gift on Monday for Karen and Mark. I think it's gonna big so cool! I know Karen and Mark will be touched, and I think the students will feel pretty good about themselves too. There's 2 teenagers, the daughter and sobrina of Elizabeth (oh I see I wrote sobrina which is neice), so I let them come, and they don't seem to enthused about the song, but the other ladies do. There will be at least 8 counting the teens, and today they sang loud with one missing, Maggie, and she has a big mouth and a pretty big voice. Miriam is my other current favorite cause she is very loud, but in a happy way, and she sings loud, too. With her there, she, Veronica and Elizabeth were all asking alot of questions with the lesson we've been working on for about 4 classes now, and this is what I was hoping for...to give them some basic stuff and then thru their questions to build on it. I made some breakfast menus for Teresa's Restaurant, and the last 2 classes I had one person take the breakfast orders for the others. Then another, but today, with Miriam, she starting asking more things, like what if we don't want to order yet, we need more time? So then Veronica wanted to know how to ask if they wanted dessert. Ha ha then a new conversation about desert and dessert. I had to erase some stuff to add more cause we used the entire huge whiteboard. That's the kinda class I love, where the students are engaged. So I need the Miriams. I love Jessica who works hard, but she is shy and so never asks anything new. I lost Rueben who was great for asking questions and joking around - I'm still not giving up on finding out where they live and trying to get them back.

But I have learned another important thing, and it may be about Mexico or maybe about poverty in general. That it ebbs and flows, people come and go. And of course there's all types, and just like in AA, you can't help them all, but you can sure help the ones who help themselves, the ones who sincerely want/need help. There are of course some manipulators out there, one guy who is a drug addict who I guess got clean for awhile, and did enough community service for One Mission to build him a little house. Now, months later, I hear that that house is gutted, he sold the windows and the door, and he actually traded the title for some money to someone who is holding on to it, although he's doing his best to try to manipulate it back out of them without repaying the money. He suddenly doesn't care for me too much cause I won't give him money or a ride, and am not interested to hear his sad story. I been around a lot of addicts, and I'm not buying it. Luckily I am not Karen, who as  Christian missionary in charge of the place, has to have more empathy than me....but I'm sure she struggles with this guy when she has so many other people truly struggling.

So I came back from the States and my class has changed. I actually made it into 2 classes because there were so many the first day back, maybe 12-15 in the original class and 8-9 in the new class. Ha ha joke was on me cause after that...if I have 6 in either class it's a big class. But I can't really combine them back because one class is just beginning and the others are up to ordering in a resturaunt, right? So vamos a ver. I am learning to just go with the flow...and for a control freak like me.....ha ha that's pretty good. I just remain grateful that I can be of service here in my new community, in the armpit of Mexico!

So if my car holds up I'll just keep truckin' on out there 4 days a week. My car is another story, we bought it in Jan, and at the time had a cracked windshield, and the driver's seat belt was broken where you click it in- the receptacle I guess. Since then it seems to deteriorate....neither back door has a working handle on the outside, and now the passenger door is really hard to open from the inside. The windshield is still cracked and I need to get it replaced before I can go to Arizona to pick anybody up from the airport. Actually would have to fix the seat belt as well, but it's not as noticeable. Oh and somebody put a dent in one of my scratched back side panels...so I have a little beater Mexican car, it's kinda gray and always dusty...and nobody gives me a second look, just the way I like it. Viva!

It's Tuesday and the holiday weekend went pretty well for Everardo selling his wares at the beach. He had to come home each nite and make more spiders, which everyone is buying, as well as earrings. He's really getting good at the earrings; now he makes them all instead of buying a few pairs and making a few. He gave me a pair with tiny cancer ribbons that have the word "hope" inscribed on them. Hope! Hey it's everywhere & I thought it was very cool to get a pair like that! There were stilla few people here today, but it's winding down, now we'll wait to see if school getting out will bring a fresh group. Rent and everything else is paid for...nice. Oh so he has to get a hold of the lady who's going to move into the Guerrero house om the 1st- which is this Saturday already! We need to give them our bank account number, and there's also something about taking the internet box back and having it re-issued to them...not sure why it can't happen when the guy comes out, but in Mexico, you will stay sane longer if you stop asking why after the 10 thousandth time ha ha.

So we talked about our credit card bill and decided that paying it off is the best idea, otherwise we will have given them soooo much money in interest, cause with small payments it's gonna be years to pay it off. So we decided we will take the tax free money and pay off that card, give some to Everardo for buying silver, and sending Drewy & Rex some to help pay for their wedding. There will be a little left over that we'll put in our interest bearing savings account. It's the right thing to do. Together he and I are pretty good at not spending, ha ha I can live on beans & tortillas and peanut butter sandwiches. Everardo is a much better eater than me. We went to the store today and spent almost all our time in the produce department. I had a bowl of veges for dinner when I got home from the center- in between 2 Spanish classes ha ha. One at the center and the second at the Canadian's house. Not sure if I mentioned them; they are a couple my gal pal Pam introduced me too, who take Spanish on Tuesday nites. I need more than one nite a week, and so am also taking classes from the same teacher out at the center Tue & Thur, with Karen and Mark (the directors out there). This teacher has a different style, so far it's ok, I like it..we'll see how it goes. I can always go back to Isabel if I want to, but I plan to give this at least a couple of months before making any judgemet. I have learned something new at every class so far, but I'm also a bit ahead of the other students, but in a couple of cases, it may be not ahead, maybe parallel or simply different, so again, we'll see.

This is such an interesting place. I saw a house that was half camper shell with a washing machine in front of it, and today saw a place where some of the walls were doors lined up next to each other. I also saw a place that seems to be partially made of cardboard- so what happens when it rains? of course I don't see any rain on the horizon or in the forecast...people here are very resourceful. It seems like there have been alot of what I call refugees coming by, or maybe I am just more aware. These are people from Central and/or South America who cross thru Mexico on their way north, to the US and/or Canada. I have been hearing stories about how horrendous they are treated when they cross into Mexico; the violence, robbery, rape, ect. Tonite my Spanish teacher commented that the Mexican Gov't is trying to improve the situation. I guess a few years back there was a movie about it, maybe call "La Bestia", but I may be mixing that up with a movie about crossing into the States. Everardo sometimes gives these guys food, more often food than money- they look, they are- hungry. And what they have ahead of them is no picnic either. A friend referred to Puerto Penasco as the armpit of Mexico the other day, and followed with she was very happy to be here ha ha. But it is a hard place. At the center, where they feed up to 100 people a day for lunch; for some of them it's the only meal they will have today. It's pretty humbling. Then all the refugees, all the kids, it's just alot.

Hmm my head is jumping around today ha ha. People place and things. All things I have no control over, all invitations on how to behave. Well I hope volunteering at the center helps my behavior.Oh I also met a lady across the street with a little girl. I told Everardo and he thinks she must have just moved in, and I can't really remember ever seeing anyone at that house, but I do remember a car driving behind it. Anyway I introduced myself; it was really Sam who got us noticed- the girl, Dioda I think, told she's 4 yrs old and she liked Sam. Excitedly called to her mom to come see hm chase the ball in our street. All of this was in Spanish so yipee more practice. I really can "survive" here with my Spanish, but I want to LIVE! And we actually had a conversation the mom and me, and I mostly knew what we were talking about...mostly. So that would be nice to have someone to say hi to, maybe make friends with. Her brother showed up while we were chatting so I assume he lives nearby. Anyway I'll get Everardo to get the scoop. He's so social anyway, he'll probly know them really good by the end of the week ha ha.

Well I was looking at our yard and thinking it's not so bad. Yeah not too much greenery, but maybe if we could get a couple of big pots and plant something in them. Arrange the the back corner here with a couple of chairs and and and...wait for it...get my hammock up! It's been 6 months I've been waiting! Actually on Sunday Poppi was talking about putting in some kind of post cause he says the tree is about a million years old and he thinks it might crack in two if we attach a hammock...but I said ok, but let's just wait a little...and he said- oh God you still want to see that house! Yeah I do, but after writing about it the other day, I drove by again. I'm not sure the yard is any better than this one. I'm not sure there's a door near the living room we could keep open with a screen door to have the best air, I'm not sure the interior layout....well anyway..this place is starting to look pretty good. And I'm comfortable here, and not nervous at all. So again, yeah I want to see it, but kinda just to see and let go, you know? And in fact there are so many cute houses around here, don't know if any are for rent or for how much....but that other house is not our only choice. And this one is already painted so cute...and we know what the problems are...and it's big enough for us. We just have to see if there's a sewer problem (meaning smell) when it gets really hot, but Everardo may have fixed that already. So we'll see....

Did I say this lately? Life is good. I have my children and my husband and my dog. I am suddenly pretty busy with teaching classes 4 days a week, and taking 3 classes a week. Oh I hurt my foot yesterday when I decided to get right back into the walking swing. Yep had to push it and hurt my knee and my foot. But that's ok, not real damage, I just need to take it more slowly, and I might not walk this week. I wasn't walking towards something, the walking is the goal. The process is the goal. Man when I can remember to think like that, my life is good. I like to be busy. Hopefully my older daughter and her prometido (finac'e) are coming over 4th of July....If they can't, it's ok I'll see them again soon enough. I want them to come here so they can see Everardo, and I know he wants to see them, too. But we will do whatever is the next right thing. Viva!

Day 2 of the US holiday weekend, Everardo left a little after 9am, hopeful for another good day. It's really windy outside, but even with the wind it's still pretty warm so I'm betting the beaches will be packed. Especially with the drinking I saw going on yesterday morning- who feels the wind haha! I, on the other hand am sitting inside, windows and screen door open, just picked out a new book to read, and was looking at my blog posts from when we moved here 6 months ago to see what I said about that other house. I'll probly take Sam down to the beach or the park in a little while to play ball, but not too much cause I'm still worried about his foot. Now I don't think anything's in it...maybe he just hurt it running on the track....but after a while of running he starts to limp a little and favor that foot.
I do not want to skip the track tonite however. It always feels better when I exercise, even walking, and I think maybe that walking for an hour may be better than 30 min of elliptical...the truth is I'm going to do what I enjoy. And right now that's the track in the evening. I like the atmosphere, the people, the soccer games, the peewees practicing...I don't really talk to anybody, but I still feel part of it. Lots of people walk or jog alone, and some seem to be walking as a family. This is a side of Penasco I haven't seen yet, and I like it. People of all ages, doing the same or different things, all over these fields, and there's SO many of them. I've only seen one other person who looked like an American out there; an older lady running- ok older than me ha ha. But you know the gyms we see, never have anyone in them, or just one or two - nobody can afford it; so I guess this is a good way to get some exercise- free. Mexico is so all about families and I like that too. The peewee practices always have lots of parents and the games are packed with spectators. Like I said some of the walkers on the track are families. It's nice.

This morning I woke up missing my children so much. It was overwhelming, crushing, like a wave. I didn't tell Everardo because he will try to fix it. He'll tell me to go for another visit, or ask me if I want to move back. I know he's happy here, and I know this will pass, so I'm working thru it here. of course my pea brain goes from one extreme to the other. I wonder if someday I'll be so sorry I missed these years living near my daughters, and then I remember- duh- they're grown up. And if I'm going to be gone for a few years, then better while their in their 20's, before grandchildren, while they are getting themselves settled. I have a fantastic relationship with Drewy, and staying with her for 2 weeks showed me this is true. I adore her, the way she looks at life, how passionate she is about everything- so determined- she is a force to be reckoned with! And Halla, so strong, so loyal, and also- so passionate. I hope she goes thru with her idea to travel and work/live on these organic farms in 3rd world countries. I love that she cares about the environment and wants to be part of the solution. My daughters are so alike and sooooo different, and I love that about both of them. Am I missing it? I don't think so. I can talk on the phone, skype, and most often facebook chat. Well chat and phone- thank God for magic jack! But right now I wish they were down the street! I don't even have to live in Petaluma, after all Drewy is in the next town, we could live there. I know Poppi will go back whenever I say I want to, but is that fair? And really, do I want to? I love working out at the center, and I really really want to become fluent. This is an adventure, and maybe I'm thinking about it cause we're coming up on a year. And maybe in a few months, when the tourists are gone, we'll take a trip down to Playa Ventura. I'd also love for Everardo to see the pyramids in Mexico- there are some close to Mexico City. I want us to go visit his older brother Arnulfo. He has been talking to him on the phone and to his nieces & nephews on FB- yeah, I think we should do that trip first. Maybe at the end of the summer when I hear it's unbearable hot here, and not too many vacationers. Ooh that's a good idea!
And they are in or near Juarez, which is on the Texas border, but you can't drive straight across from here; there's a mountain range- you have to drive south and then across and then back up north- another adventure. (and I hear driving thru those mountains is not safe at all...cartel stuff..so we wouldn't even consider it). And we have felt safe everywhere we've driven so far, just need to stick to the cuotas (toll roads) when we can and busy highways when we can't. And when we go back then to Playa Ventura we can go back thru Michoacan and see his sister and other brother Pablo. Yeah, why not a couple of years about his family? Oh and speaking of his family; Elena might get to come and visit us this summer! Maybe even with Drew for 4th of July, although that will be here sooner than we think, so maybe not. But maybe she'll come with her mother...that would be fine too, since I met Kelly I like her and I know Everardo would love to show them both around. See lots of plans for the future here. And non of them are forever. I think another year for sure. Then we can think about it again. We still need to get Poppi a visa so he can come and go to the US. Next year Drewy is getting married and we won't miss that! Halla will turn 21 (oh my God does that make me old ha ha?). They both have wonderful futures ahead of them. Drewy goes on day shift next week I think- good for her, but man I will SO miss chatting with her at nite! But she needs a day shift, she needs a different job, unless the company that bought hers really does make changes. Life goes on doesn't it? So i hope my kids don't think I'm being selfish going off on this Mexican adventure, I hope they are happy for me, because it's something I wanted to do for a long long time, early on it was simply to travel, then to live in another country...and I'm doing it. If we go back in a couple of years, they will still be young women and I hope while I'm down here, they will want to come often, and explore, experience, all that. I know Poppi wants me to visit them whenever I miss them, but honestly I was just there, and writing about it makes me feel better.

Ha ha now I'm just thinking about that other house again! I read what I wrote in Dec when we saw it, and I said the fridge was gross (no prob we have one), and it was dirty. That the backyard was all overgrown...ha ha I've been living with a dirt backyard (ok side yard) for almost 6 months...and overgrown doesn't sound too bad. I did however write there was a problem with the floor in a spot though, and I wonder how that looks after 6 months- the thing is though- it's still empty. Oh and I wrote that the fence was 2 inches from the door! ha ha, Like I said, I drove by yesterday and there's a front porch and then the fence....but I am SO selfish. I am thinking that we could get a little money out of our savings- that I have been saying all along- NO we're not touching it- and let Everardo go to Taxco like he wants to, to buy some silver, and see how it works out for him- he's been trying different things and it's been working out pretty good. But the truth is a little part of me is thinking that he'll be more open to looking at the other house-arrghh I am awful! But I have been thinking that maybe I'm too stiff about the money- I mean I have been wanting us to live only on what we can make, and that's basically him since I volunteer...and I am now looking to see if I can make any money with my blog- but really? get paid to write in my diary? Ha ha I don't think it will be too lucrative. Especially now that we live in this 'very civilized' area ha ha where not too much happens out of the ordinary...no tarantulas fighting chickens and nobody taking their pig for a walk! The poverty here is heart breaking, and the only thing I know to do is the volunteering I am doing to maybe help someone to help themselves, and maybe more will show itself to me working with Karen and Mark out there- I mean more that I can do to help my community. But not sure anybody wants to read about my thoughts..actually I'm really surprised how many people do! So Everardo brings home any money we have, and believe me he works hard for it, walking up and down the beaches every day.

And that is turning out to be not every day at this point- more like Friday-Mon. That's when the people, the tourists are here. He also might be able to make a little money working with the center by helping out with the dog ministry. There are people that really want to help with the dog problems in Mexico. I think they get donations from the states and from within Mexico. And he can hand out these cards that if the people will get their dog fixed (spayed or neutered), it will be free when they present that card. Then the vet turns the card into the pet ministry to get paid. Everardo will make a few pesos off each card turned in with his name on it- I think that's how it works. He speaks the language and can help to educate people. Did you know 85% of the dogs in Mexico have sexually transmitted diseases? That there are so many stray dogs! There are other statistics for him to know and let people know about, for the safety and health of their pets. He can also make a little money helping with the dogs that are brought out to the center, taking them to the vet, taking them up to the shelter that takes them to the states for adoption, other things. Well doesn't that make my sweet husband a busy boy? He's going out to the center next week to see if he can work for Karen maybe Tue-Wed-Th. So he'll be busy every day. Me, I have 4 days a week in the afternoons, plus my own Spanish lessons. Oh and I have a new teacher- just had 2 classes with her cause she was sick last week, but looking forward to that and it's sooooo much cheaper.

So maybe we should spend a little for Poppi to try out what he wants to do as well, eh? I have certainly gotten to try everything I wanted to.... he's had some time to see what works and what doesn't, in fact right now he's selling alot of the stuff he's making himself- earring and the spiders are really selling! Did I say he works hard? He does; and he's such a good man. I am so grateful that he and I are who we are. Hey don't know about anyone who's reading this- but I feel so much better now! Yeah I still miss my kids, but I can call them..right now. Viva!

A United States holiday is good for Mexican border towns! At least this one, anyway. Puerto Penasco is not really a border town, but it's only a little more than an hour south of the border, and it's a beach town, so it makes for a great touristy vacation spot- especially for the 3 day weekends like this one (Memorial Day). I actually thought it was next week until about Thursday...but since last nite, it's pretty busy around here. I went down to the Malecon (boardwalk) this morning for an AA meeting; on Saturday it's down there, on the roof of a business- with a patio and a beautiful ocean view. Anyway getting down there I realized there was so much traffic and it was only about 9:15am...amazingly though, a car pulled out and I got a spot right in front of the place. Which ended up no mattering cause there was nobody there. Ah well (I have a feeling nobody goes to that meeting and I had just expected it to be there) So I stood there for a few minutes, looking at the water, then back across the street to see these kids (ok 20's maybe) drinking and dancing on the roof patio of whatever bar/restaurant that was. Remember it was only 9:15 am!

So the party was on. I drove thru the malecon and saw there were lots of tourists already on their buying sprees and I was happy cause Everardo left for the beach at 9am with his display case full of stuff. I drove home to get Sam and took him to the park to throw the ball, and Everardo called and by 10am had already made more than $100 USD! By the end of the day he had made about $250 or $300 I think, and there's still 2 days to go on this holiday weekend. (yipee) Sam and I stayed in the park for about and hour, and then we went for a drive around town. Another week and a half and we will have been here for 6 months, and in Mexico for a year! I'm getting to know Puerto Penasco pretty good- it has so many different neighborhoods and little stores, segundas (second hand stuff), oh and boats- so many boats! Today I saw a huge boat being pulled behind a pickup truck...and wondered when are they too big and need like a semi or something? We drove thru the docks; not much going on there- it was close to noon and any boats that had come in had already off loaded their catch and any boats going out, well they were out. But lots of people milling around. Then I drove along the coast to those neighborhoods, winding in a little first to an area I hadn't seen, then towards the very first place we rented. Yeah the place we rented for a month and stayed in for one day. But today it was easy to find, and now I understand where it is better. Then I drove by a place we had wanted to rent, but had hesitated cause we would have had to buy a stove...and the neighbors had to walk thru our backyard to get to their house....and there was a house across the street for sale. ha ha I drove past it twice- as if we could buy a house here right now! NOT! There were so many of the dune buggys on the road. They have rental places all over- are they still called dune buggys? I mean you can drive them on the street and on the beach. Some of them are so loud, some are just like regular cars. And in Mexico, seat belts may be the new law, but nobody follows it. You see cars packed with people, kids on the dashboards, crawling all over the car. I think maybe the cops enforce it if they need some lunch money ha ha. I'm probly kidding....I never see them pull over families, only kids and sometimes tourists. But they are pretty lax with the tourists; I guess the tourists pay for life around here....I heard that the cartel in this area has an agreement with the cops. They don't sell drugs to tourists....

Then I drove back to our side of town and drove past the very first place we looked at here; the place that made me cry. Well actually I cried after going around with the first lady we got set up with to see rentals. We figured out later she took us only to places of her friends and fellow worshipers of Jehovah Witness, (h ha) and only in San Rafael. Anyway the first place I said no before being inside 2 minutes, I actually said no before we went in. My perception at the time: First, we were waiting around the corner for the key, in front of these 3 houses in a row and I loved them all and thought one of them was the house we were going to see. Again- not! So we go around the corner and I see this sad house with a fence around it that's about 6 inches from the front door. Inside the fridge was hanging open and gross, and in one room I saw some paper hanging from the ceiling. But the yard was nice, shady and big and along the side was actually a long driveway, inside the fence. So like I said I never even looked at it- hated it before I step foot in it. But now, now that I understand the culture here a little bit better, now that I understand the layout of the town, well I decided to drive by, oh and it's right next to the track and the sports fields. Well that fence is not 6 inches from the front door (yeah I gotta go back to my Dec entries and see what I thought...) the place has a front porch across the whole front of the house, the fence is after that. Everybody has a fence here. So I have come to value the fences, and for sure really value that big yard in the back and all the shade. So honestly, I want to see inside that house again. I think the rent was $300 or maybe even $350, but back in Dec Poppi was sure he could get it lower. I do remember part of the layout was a big square kitchen that looked out into a big living room that probly was also the dining room, I saw only one bedroom and no bathrooms. Yep I do still want to see it again. One thing though, Everardo showed me the roof on this place- cause guess what- this idea of looking at it again has been in my brain for awhile now....and he showed me how it has no insulation in the roof- that it will be sooooo hot in there when it gets hot. That this place, for all it's shabbiness, has a good roof...so...well we'll see. I'm not sure if I'm even going to bring it up. nope- I will- I just wanna SEE inside it. Man am I pathetic or what?
Then we drove around a little bit more, me just seeing how things connect here. It's a funny shape- like a big triangle- or a piece of pizza ha ha. There are a LOT of people down here this weekend. We came home and the house was cooler inside than outside so me and Sam came in and plopped down. He was a happy dog for the park and going for a ride- he loves to just hand that head out the side in the back of the truck. I'm trying to make a new plan for my English classes, using the conversation in the book I got from Pam, and then make a bunch of other phrases that would work so somebody could actually contribute to a conversation, since I remember just wishing someone would ask or say exactly what I had learned so I knew what to say! ha ha ha ha. So I worked on that a little bit, planning to go to the track later when it cooled down and Everardo was home.

Ha ha best laid plans...we did not go to the track for walking and him running tonite. But we did go to this fantastic tacos Poblano place that's right down the street for dinner and pigged out. Everardo made some more earrings, and got ready to go out tomorrow. But he gave me a pair of dragonflies and a pair that is the cancer ribbon that say HOPE in tiny letters that he made. See? In the end it all comes back to HOPE. Viva!

Just a short one cause I think I am soooo funny. We went down to the track tonite and Poppi ran for half an hour with Sam while I walked, then he passed Sam off to me for a couple of laps, then he went to the area where you can do a workout; pushups, sit up, pull up, etc., so Sam went over there to lay down while I finished my hour of walking and rocking out ha ha. So when we were both done and walking towards the parking area but still on the track, a couple of young women knda flinched as Sam came by next to Everardo, and I said.."El es muy tranquilo" meaning 'he is very gentle/nice' cause I knew they were startled by Sam. But laughing to myself, and only in my head I said..."y el perro tambien" meaning 'and the dog, too'...Ha ha I thought I was too funny and nobody knew it but me!

It was nice to get out there and walk after feeling so crappy yesterday. This place is packed! I think on Tuesday nite there had to have been over 300 people there! As I stepped onto the track I counted past 50 for people on the track, then 2 teams of older kids playing soccer in the middle, tons of people watching, then on the outside of the track there were at least 3 practices going on for peewee kids, a volleyball game, etc. And it's like this every nite. Tonite the game inside the track was being played by adults, but kid games and peewee games were going on in the surrounding fields. They have big satdium lights around the track and when we left tonite around 8:30 they were still on. The game in the middle was over, but people were in the little workout areas, and the practices still going on. It's all about nighttime here in Mexico. Right before we drove over there, there was another high school parade, this one right on Simon Morua, which is the main street we live off of, and we are only 2 houses in, so it was noisy and Sam and I went out to watch.

I had English class today but not Spanish class. Our new teacher, Laurie has a sinus infection, but I'm thinking she'll be good to go by next Tuesday (fingers crossed). I missed class yesterday at the center cause of my lovely migraine, but was there today. Had a small class; 5 or 6, 2 from the more advanced class and 3-4 from the beginner class. I'm hoping everybody gets back into the swing of classes next week. Cause it feels like it all changed since I got back. And I think maybe that's what happens around here. And I'm ok with that, I think I'm becoming a better teacher; today I tried to expand on the lesson I found in a book that I liked- it was about saying hello and what's your name, and good bye. It had a list of words, a small conversation, then a small story. So I tried to expand the conversation by showing different ways to say hi, that when your name is asked, you ask back, the same with how are you....I think we made a more real conversation, even though it was small. With the other class I have something similar with going out to a restaurant for breakfast, and I'm gonna do the same thing- make it a more "real" conversation. The only thing I feel bad about is the secret project, cause there may not be enough of the original class left who practiced it, to do the presentation...well I can only do what I can do...I just really wanted to do it for Karen & Mark, who would understand how cool it is. But if not, well I learned yet another lesson..which I should have known better than to have taken so long with one thing the way people come and go out there....
But I love being there, and always go home feeling better then when I got there- hey kinda like an AA meeting ha ha.
Ok I'll finish with this- we DO have to pay garbage! The thing is, when they came by we were home and tipped them so they took it! Now it doesn't get picked up at all. I did hear nobody's was getting picked up for over a month, but then last week I saw a couple of trucks in our neighborhood, but ours didn't get picked up. It's super cheap, and we're gonna go down to the city office and pay up- even though Mark out at the center has been amazing by telling us to bring our trash out there since he goes to the dump every 10 days and it only costs him about 20 pesos...
hmmm 2 posts in one day!

So yesterday I went to the doctor..and got a shot. Ha ha it's the answer to everything in Mexico- a shot. I always look them up- google them when I get home- hope I never wish I woulda looked them up before I was injected! But it was good. I had a migraine- I want to say a horrible migraine, a terrible migraine, but doesn't the word migraine conjure up all thoughts of all those words anyway? Maybe "migraine" in Latin or something means.."terrible head pain"...oh no now I'll have to google that! Yeah so mt headache woke me up and I actually cried out. It always makes me think I'm going to throw up as well, but I don't always, and I didn't yesterday. But I had a double whammy- I had a panic attack at the same time when it first hit- or maybe I was having the panic attacks and then the migraine hit...that feels more accurate cause I can remember being afraid before the headache, and Everardo said I was freaking out in my sleep....

Ok so it's 2 things. The migraine; well it happens maybe once or twice a year. I did have one in Playa Ventura, seems like it was about August or maybe September. That's when we found out that Excedrin Migraine had been taken off the market in Mexico. (hmmm I forgot to check when I was in the states). So I had purchased something else that was an aspirin but said it worked for migranes and it did ok, I mean I slept mostly around the clock and was ok the next day- it's like a bubble pops in my brain, and I can almost feel the slime dripping off..but when I took the same pill yesterday it didn't even start to help; this headache seemed much ore painful than any other I'd had. They just started a few years ago- but maybe more because I just remembered when we lived in the Metz house (that was the street- with my kids and ex), I'd be wearing sunglasses in the house cause I had a headache...and that was..well less than 10 years ago, so still, recent. Yuck maybe part of menopause? I shouldn't say yuck cause that would imply they'll go away. Anyway yesterday it started hours before we woke up, I was tossing and turning, almost crying. I took the pill but a couple of hours later, no improvement, so Poppi said, get up we're going to the doctor. So off we went, to the same place as last time when I had the flu, and the same doctor was on duty- I liked that. I felt good about him, and had decided to trust him. And, of course, he gave me shot; as soon as Everardo explained my symptoms he made a quick call, and a woman came in from next door in the pharmacy with a syringe and a couple of little vials. To the butt! Again! haha that's ok. When I got home I went back t bed and slept for hours. I got up and it had dissipated, but I felt weak. And scared that if I moved my head too much it would come back. It didn't though so I stayed up, ate some soup and a sandwich Poppi made me (he is a great soup maker- I'm a soup out of the can girl but he makes it-yum), and then I googled the medicine cause it's written on the receipt- and oh yeah, the visit and the shot- 102 pesos or $9.27USD!! Gotta love going to the doctor in Mexico! I looked up the drug, and it was exactly right; used for things like severe headache, toothache, right after surgery, for moderately severe pain.

Back to the cost for a second; $9.27 USD. I just returned to Mexico from the US where I had several doctor appts. I pay over $400 a month for insurance, and yet 3 of my appts were $95 to see the doctor. One of those appts was to have the dermatologist look at a black mark on my face and a mole on my back that had changed in texture. The appt would have lasted 2 minutes he said quickly the black mark was broken blood vessels- it's a tiny mark, from the sun and I need to protect myself from the sun, he was even kinda of condescending about it- asshole-which in turn kinda pissed me off. He said looking at my deeply tanned arms, you better start wearing something and I said, yeah I live in sunny Mexico, and he said- well maybe you should move! Ok so I will get some good UV protection lotion to start wearing....Ok then he looked at my back and I said the mole has changed, that it felt kinda scratchy, and he said- oh when it changes like that it's a good thing. I could easily freeze it off right now, but unless it's bothering you, you're fine. Wow all that and a box of Crackerjacks for $95. So in that instant I thought of how it kinda rubs on my bra strap, and said- yeah it bothers me. So he shot it with that cold stuff (is it CO2?) and the scab is finally gone. That hurt tho' when he did it. He was just a jackass and I was pissed about the cost. My oncologist was also $95, and my second visit to the OBGYN, too. I think the first visit to him was $50 and the mammogram might have been $50 as well, but crap! I have insurance! I don't know what I think of "Obama Care", but I do know this- if you continue to change nothing- then nothing will change. It is a start, now work it out until it looks better- not just fight it with every last breath. I found it was the way to figure out something in business; just start, do SOMETHING, and then you can revise from there. But just sitting and looking at it doesn't work. The F'ng drug mfgr's and insurance companies are just raping the people, and it really pisses me off. That being said, I will continue to pay the ridiculous monthly payments at least until I finish my pills regime for "after cancer" which is another year and a half...unless I see something really change in healthcare, or maybe until I win Powerball which is now in Calif!

Ok enough! My headache is gone this morning, really last nite but I was exhausted; the only thing left is the funny taste in my mouth, and that usually comes from the panic attacks. Seems like they have stayed the course;about every 6 months although in Playa Ventura I think they were more often, no maybe not more often, they just lasted longer, because I became so stressed out about living there. And I really think they have to do with some kind of chemical imbalance that occurs in my body, or else why would I have this funny taste in my mouth? I am much better at responding to them, altho' this time having the headache scared me more. Maybe it stress, then add fear, i don't know really, but it always scares the shit out of me eve though I know what it is. Poppi is so good to me when it happens; he always says call to me as soon as you feel it coming on. When he is there I feel better. It's hard to explain what they're like. But it's like having 2 consciousnesses..meaning 2 minds, or 2 different thoughts coming from 2 different places in my head, like 2 minds...ok that's weird ha ha. But when they happen I always think I can smell something- something familiar but I never identify it, also that there's something I'm supposed to know... this part is even weirder, not sure I ever thought about it this much. And......the really cool thing is this time, that it's a short term this time (I think), they started in the middle of the nite Tues nite and it's Thursday morning and I only had maybe one during the day yesterday and one that only started to come and then left during last nite. Maybe cause I'm not as scared of them anymore, and maybe they need the chemical input of fear to really come on? That would be cool cause then I could control it. I do still have a bit of a funny taste in my mouth, way back in. I haven't eaten anything yet, but yesterday everything tasted funny.

Wow I'm tired from writing all that! I want to snap out of it and look forward to today, I want to go to the center for my English class, yesterday I obviously didn't go. But I was worried on Mon & Tues cause I seem to have lost some really good students. Yes I am getting more, but where is Berta, Miriam, Rueben, Dora, Isabel, Alejandra, Carmina? Ok I know where Rueben and Dora are, and Jessica is going to find out where they live so I can go visit and ask them to come back. Rueben's wife thought the class was laughing at her, which we were not, and now all three do not come. She was in the sewing group, anyway I want to go and try to talk to her. But the rest..they are all the ones who were working on the song for the gift to Karen and Mark, I hope some show back up this week, and then I missed yesterday..I left for 2 weeks and came back to a different scenario. In fact I had too many students for one class since half were new, that;s why I made 2 classes; M-W and T-Th. I have to be there in 3 hours, but I'll try to go in 2 so they see me...and maybe I can feel back in the swing of things.
We also had no classes with Laurie, our new Spanish teacher because she has a sinus infection this week, so maybe this is just a funky week, eh? I'll also try to get back to walking tonite, I am up to the whole hour, and only missed yesterday, so we'll see today- probly as soon as I eat I'll feel better. It's not super hot outside and it is very windy, but living here I have come to love the wind ha ha. In Playa Ventura even the wind was hot, but here it is a cooling influence.

Ok Everardo is making us breakfast and I need to get dressed. I feel better already, mentally as well. I think I'm different, calmer, more "ok" with who I am. I'm grateful for that. See I always say I'm not sorry for the time we spent in Playa Ventura; it was my huge jump in self awareness, my spirituality, acceptance. It feels good. Viva!

Tuesday morning, May 21. Yesterday was an anniversary I don't usually like to think about, but my daughter chose to use it as an opportunity to celebrate life, and I like that. On May 20, 2005, a criminal, who didn't like the way my daughter looked (yes looked), from her car, at his girlfriend, and so followed her, in their car....and shot her, in the head. With a .38, in the head. Wow- I mean what goes on inside somebody's head to think that's ok. Yeah I guess that's where the criminal part comes in. Well as it turns out, it was a day of miracles, and the miracles continued. Her foot slipped off the accelerator and the car rolled into a fence and stopped. She didn't know what happened except she couldn't see. She did not lose consciousness, and the miracles begin. She had to climb out the passenger side, and the bullet FELL out of her head. Help came quickly cause she was right next to the highway- yeah thank God for that fence. We got the call, and her dad was home and I was at work. I have a fleeting memory of running all the stop signs and stop lights from work to home (which was on the way), scared he would head up there without me, and he was in the driveway when I got there. It was Friday afternoon at 5pm, and the highway was totally congested with commute traffic, but next miracle- it just opened up for us and we flew up the road towards the hospital in Santa Rosa. I called the hospital and they put me thru to the emergency room AND they let me talk to her! We arrived amidst a bunch of cops and I ran right thru the security they had set up- nothing was going to keep me from my kid.My beautiful wonderful fantastic 20 yr old daughter. She was scared and so was I. The attending physician said she had been shot, that there was a hole in her head....that he could see her brain. (writing this part - well it's reliving it). Ok well when I'm terrified, I make a joke, so I said -oh so you can see there's one in there! The doctor was shocked, but Drewy made kind of a laughy sound and said "Oh Mom"...and we were better.

She had to have a surgery, to "clean up" a little. When the doctor told us that, her dad started to faint and he had to catch him. Afterwards they told us it was a miracle, that they had never seen anything like it. So your brain sits in a bag called the durum. (not sure of the spelling here). The bullet broke thru her skull, ripped thru the durum, touched her brain, and stopped. They told us she would need extensive therapy, speech and maybe other types, depending on the damage; she might have issues with things like memory....ok enough said...well she was only in the hospital for a few days. She was there as "Jane Doe" while the police tried to figure out if it was gang related.... So she came home and stayed with us. At first, in the hospital too, she couldn't remember the word for something and was really frustrated, in fact we still laugh about "bill hillys!" (hillbillys) she would say words backwards...
She had speech therapy for a very short few weeks, and she recovered...100%!!! She had to have brain scans for a few months and then once a year for a few years, and she's fine, she's perfect, she's 100%!!!! My beautiful daughter is perfect. I still worry about her, I wish she had to wear a helmet ha ha.
So that was 8 years ago and my daughter is perfect (did I say that already?) Sometimes when she's very agitated, she messes up her words, hmmm would that happen anyway? So last nite I saw her chatting about it on Facebook and her friends all telling her how much they love her. Then later she told me in our private chat that they are having dinner with a few close friends and her sister to celebrate she's alive. Then we talked about her making this date be a "pay it forward" day for her, a day or a weekend to give back in some way, volunteer somewhere or just do something, anything to be grateful for her life. Yeah, she wasn't done here on earth, thank you God for that. Miracles are always God's work and my daughter is living proof of so many miracles. I love you Drewy.

Ok this post wiped me out. More later. As always, viva.

(oh and by the way- the criminal is in prison for 31 years, not eligible for parole for 27 years- good.)