My trip to upstate NY

It's been so long since I've written that I hardly know where to begin. In fact it's why the past couple of days I come to this page, sign and go somewhere else...to mindlessly look at facebook or play solitaire ha ha. I went on my trip to upstate NY and came home, then immediately caught whatever half the people I see have contracted. (expats only- the Mexicans all seem fine) Not too many details but diarreha so that no matter what I ate, out it came- well at least I wasn't throwing up, right? After one day of no exercise coming back from my trip I was back at it- and exhuasted by it. Got weaker for 3 days until I finally agreed to go to the doctor- so cheap that why the hell not?? Well as my sister says.....I can go to the doctor and be better in a week, or not go and be better in 7 days....ha ha right??

But yesterday I woke up feeling great- no weakness, so I think I'm back. Luckily I exercised almost every day in NY- not weights but my cardio zumba routine- out in my sister's front yard...not as weird as it sounds since not too many cars go by- mostly trucks with big trees on them and every one of them flying past, so I wasn't all that noticeable. Ok gotta grab my little notebook I carry everywhere to tell you about upstate New York- which by the way was amazing! Oh and pls know: Anywhere that is not New York City, is upstate New York! It was soooo green and lush- everywhere! Everywhere was rolling hills, greenery, different shades of green in the trees, the bushes, the flowers, the gardens- oh the gardens people had! I just saw no dirt, no sand- yeah completely the oppisite of here ha ha!! Oh yeah and no ocean, but lots of meandering streams, a river or two, lakes...so lots of water and lots of boats, so that seemed familiar.

Ok so about my trip. Ha ha first ya get across the border, so it was my first time walking across at Tijuana, and I did not like it one bit. Well I shouldn't be so dismal about it, because as it turned out I crossed pretty quickly, and if I could always do that, then I am ok with it. And quite possible it does work that way. We didn't get to Tijuana until about 10am, and of course, as we always do...we went the wrong way more than once before going the right way to get close to the border. I don't like the chaos there, not sure why...maybe I'm nervous that maybe there are more bad people there ready to fleece the naive tourist? But I am always there with my Mexican husband, I've never seen anything bad there..so why do I worry? Hmmm gonna have to let that one go....When you finally get near the border it's a zoo! It's like 6 lanes across of cars all waiting and line goes on forever. People everywhere, and so noisy. We parked in the same lot that Everardo did when he picked me up last time and he knew right where to go, so we started walking. I didn't see where the end of the line was and was sure we'd be in it all day! I was already ready to pay Tim the $70 for gas to get a ride thru Tecate, which I did the first time when it took us 6 minutes to cross. The problem there is, there are no services on the other side, so if Everardo was simply dropping me off I'd have no way to get to San Ysidro/San Diego and it's about a 20 minute drive or more. Ok so we are walking and a guy says he I can drive you across- but he want $65 or $75! Yeah no thanks. Then another guy says hey $5 and I get you to the front of the line. I would have kept walking but Everardo talked to him and we said ok. They brought me this white van stuffed full with people and I kissed Poppi goodbye and jumped in. Crazy but I thought -shit! Will I ever see him again? Am I headed for the middle of the desert? Ridiculous thought since we were at the Tijuana border....how would we just turn and drive away? Well next to me in the van were some Asian people who I asked if they spoke English or Spanish and they answered "little bit" and I figured out they also paid $5...but I didn't feel any better. After what was probly only 7 or 8 minutes but I thought forever, they packed a couple of more people - Mexicans this time and took off....and they brought us to the front of the line!! He told us where to stand and wait to be motioned in. We stood there maybe about another 10-15 minutes and then were waved thru. So before 11:30 am I had crossed. Like I said, if those guys are always there...then no problem.

Ok so I got on the trolley and was off. I found out I could jump off and on as long as it was the same direction, so I did that and went to AT&T for a sim chip for my phone and the bank for some cash. I only had my suitcase and a small backpack since my laptop was getting it's screen fixed & my sister had one I could borrow while I was there. Ha ha google kept out of this account from her laptop and then proudly sent me an email to tell me! But I guess that's a good thing right? Ok so I do my business and ride the trolley to where I can catch the bus for the airport. It is so easy to get from the border to the airport! And cheap...like $2.25 for each. I decided to have lunch since it was so early- my flight wasn't until 9pm! I got to the airport before 3pm; I had decided to just go there and read my new book and people watch since I didn't know anyone in San Diego..but ran into trouble. They wouldn't take my suitcase until 4 hours before my flight- so I had to sit outside security for about 2 hours...doesn't sound that bad- but out there...it's freezing!! The ac is on full blast, the floors are linoleum, and the chairs are plastic and metal. I was miserable. I did get a jacket out and changed into the pajama type pants I had planned to fly in since it was a red eye (overnite) flight. But I was cold. Ok so I read and got in at 5pm and headed right for a coffee place to get warmed up. I bought 2 bananas and the lady said they were $1 each! Ouch...then she looked around and said- nobody's gonna buy them tonite so take 2 for $1...thank you! Then I found $1 on the ground. So things were lookin' up. I packed a peanut butter sandwich, an apple and some almonds for my dinner so I didn't eat airport food...or be tempted to blow my new eating style with fast food right at the start of my trip and so a couple hours later, warm and cozy, I had that. Besides the trip was long long long, I didn't sleep all that great- man they have managed to make the space on the planes even smaller- but the next morning after only one plane change, in NY, I landed in Albany and my sister and her hubby were waiting for me!! We were all so happy to see each other! Let the adventure begin! Oh yeah I did get to see an idiot, who was late for his flight, open the door to head for his place after the people had all gotten on the plan and the airline folks had already left. That was waiting for my connection. A big alarm went off...he jumped in the air.....we all laughed...but I tell ya- NO SECURITY PEOPLE CAME!! Hmmmm. Finally someone came and turned off the alarm but the guy had already stomped off. Ha ha .
Ok- so my first day was very hot and that was good. Shorts and tees all day. Karen and I, and Emmy the dog walked all over her property and it is so beautiful. It must be like 10 acres...I don't actually know but there were hills and little open areas, a big area above the house on the hill they call the soccer field, little areas where there were benches or picnic tables, little paths, a little stone walkway that Karen made by digging up stones that had been there forever. A couple of really old out buildings that the wood had vines or algae (what is it called?) on it...like an old photograph or an old movie. So much character! She had a garden, with big plans for how she would change it for next year- something was eating her veges, but her green bean plant had bravely fought off the bugs and that day had pushed out one lone bean, but a couple of days later I think there were 3!

There were pretty flowers everywhere, some had been coming back yearly and some she had added. The white farmhouse sits close to the road- it seemed like all the houses were like that- ok wait- many houses, not all because the next door neighbor- their friends, the house was set back. But there's was right off the road, but has this beautiful expanse of green grass all around it, then groves of trees and/or bushes...lots of places for deer, squirrels, chipmunks and bunny rabbits to hide and play. Oh and I think-even a bear...there might have been bear poop evident one morning when Karen was out walking Emmy. Emmy is this cutie pie little dog- their first dog, and in my opinion....just what they needed! I think her breed is mixed, but at least part Pappion...ok I never heard of a Pappion, but they must be cute. She can only weigh about 7 or 8 lbs, black and white, long hair and these tall furry ears! Karen laughed about a facebook post I had put up with this dog who see his shadow and says "Holy cow I'm Batman!" Yeah she has batman ears! She is so sweet and she runs like the wind. We bonded right away and I told her all about her cousins Sam & Hazel. Now Hazel doesn't seem that small to me any more....her body is about the same size as Emmy, but her legs are long so she's much taller. Hazel looks like a german shepard who was in the movie Honey I Shrunk The Kids..an exact replica only tiny ha ha. So anyway back to Emmy. They have this huge property, but the house is close to the road...and Emmy goes nuts when a big truck or a motorcycle goes by. Uh oh.

They figured out the perfect solution! They put this really long line from the house up the hill on the ground, then attached by a pulley another line that is not attached to the ground, but the first line so it goes out to the sides. That way Emmy can run up and down the hill, and side to side. She has a huge area, and in some places she can get into the front of the bushes, but not entangled. There's also a third line and her leash, so Emmy has the run of the property! Well a big huge square anyway. And she takes her job of protecting her property and her people very seriously (ha ha) From in the house she monitors she windows for trucks or animals. There was these woodchucks that were across the street and oh how she struggled and shivered and barked at the windows for us to let her out to get them! (remember this: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood??- He'd chuck all the wood that a wood chuck could, if a wood chuck could chuck wood) But I've never seen a woodchuck before! I guess they are not a Calif animal? They kinda looked like a big fat beaver from my vantage point. There's also beavers, raccons...oh and geese! Across the street was a big pond and really early in the morning these geese would fly in, making all this noise. I think they were already flying south for the winter. So Emmy has lots to occupy her time, along with going everywhere with us.

My bedroom (and the master) was upstairs and my window looked out across the road to that pond. I woke up every morning at first light (then went back to sleep) but watched the gray light slowly start to get brighter, some mornings with misty fog swirling...and I could only partially see the pond thru the trees...it was mystical, magical. It was a beautiful moment each morning for me. I watched for a few minutes each morning, complimented and thanked the universe...for it's beauty, for letting participate, for my sister and brother in law, for my little Emmy, for my life, for life. Then I snuggled back down in my comfy covers and floated back off. The house was so...quaint. I mean it looked exactly like I thought it would as I came to each room. I mean I really liked how they had it decorated, furniture bought from county auction and barn sales, funky artwork. My sister is an artist and I love her taste. I had a big soft bed, a slanted roof (& yes I did hit my head but only once ha ha). All the rooms had so much light! And my bedroom had a window that was at floor level...really funky...all the rooms looked out to beautiful green rolling hills and trees as far as you could see. Of course it was summer- in another week or so the colors will begin to change- in fact I think it's starting but not yet in full swing- and then the snow will come and stays a long long time ha ha. They will leave and head down to Florida for the winter- snowbirds I guess they are called, right? But their neighbors will stay, so their house will be safe. They bought the property from a neighbor couple who have become their good friends. I met them and was instantly at ease with them- the nicest couple.

The kitchen was our main room for congregating although we got together at nite in the little "office" to watch movies- there's a comfy couch in there, too, but I also sat in the living room to read and they had a fireplace which we enjoyed one nite.

So we went to these little towns that are all over the place. We went to an auction that is every Tuesday nite (there's also one on Thurs nites at another location) and I bid with a paddle on some stuff!! First time I ever did that- with the auctioneer calling out from up on a stage! I only bid on things I knew I'd be out bid on ha ha! Karen said the prior year she got some great deals on some of their furniture, and you never know what they will have. Farm tools, old bicycles, toys, old costume jewelry, all kinds of furniture...it was really fun; and they sell hot dogs and other food, drinks, it was a family run business and they were all there from the old guy who was running the auction down to a granddaughter running items out to the lucky buyers who's bid was the highest.

We went to a street fair and a car show, oh and the dump every Saturday...and ha ha it's pretty busy with all the neighboring houses/farms bring their garbage...no pickup. Sunday we went to another friend's potluck, which was also a jam session, they were awesome!! Also awesome was the garden the guy's girlfriend created where she mixes flowers and vegetables. She gave us a tour and Karen asked lots of questions about what was with what and getting ideas for her own garden creation. We ate and danced and laughed. The next day we went back over to help bring chairs and things back up to the house- yeah the party was outside in a beautiful setting- green of course ha ha- and got to see the guy's workshop. My sister's close friends are very cool. (I want to say awesome but awsome seems to be my only adjective in this post ha ha). His name is Jeff and he makes "stretchers". Not for people going in an ambulance....but the wood frame that an art canvas is "stretched" across that a painter will then paint on. He had an amazing story of how he fell into the business....a friend he was working for when he first got out of college and was bumming around, asked what he was doing with his life....then suggested he take a look behind a painting when her was in a gallery...the guy did something where Jeff delivered things to art galleries for him (see I forget what it was), but anyway Jeff did it. He saw these beautiful works of art, these expensive pieces of art, created on these shabbily put together pieces of wood. His friend asked if he could do better- Jeff said- Hell yes! And so it began. He designed his first stretchers, and with his friend whispering in a couple of ears to give his buddy Jeff a chance...became wildly successful! Such a cools story eh? He told me he basically had no competition for like 25 or 30 years! He has some now, but he is never short of work orders. He's been a friend of my sister and hubby for more than 30 years...and I'm glad they have such a good friend. He's a super nice guy. He plays guitar, seems to like boats, since he had a yard full of these long canoes, a "cottage" that is a house boat...and if he is close with my sister- then he must have met them boating somewhere since they have lived on one boat or another for the last 40 years or so.....yeah this is their first house. In Florida they live on a little houseboat so they are not total landlubbers ha ha! It's funny, they finally moved back to the United States and I move out!

We have a funny cycle. In 1988 I think it was, we both moved to southern Calif and didn't know each other was coming. It was a nice year. My daughter Drewy was 3/4 and she got to spend alot of time with them that year. They were in Long Beach and me and Drewy were in Anaheim. Yep right next to Disneyland- I would see the top of the Materhorn every morning on my way to work! They always lived on a boat, a sailboat, a barge, now a houseboat...I traveled for work to other countries but they were almost always in Europe & I was going to places in Asia.

Anyway, my trip was...wait for it...awesome. We went to nearby Cooperstown where the Baseball Hall of Fame is- I took a photo as we drove by...none of us care about baseball ha ha. But I had a fabulous (see different word) cheeseburger in a little diner, and a horrible Rueben sandwich in another. (I was told I had to have a Rueben in NY..ugh wasn't missing anything). We went to an orchard and picked apples and berries, went to an apple cider farm...they weren't making cider that day but they had a nice layout, lots of "fall" knickknacks for sale...we bought some wonderful sharp cheddar cheese from them. We went to a farmer's market on a rainy day out in the country- ok everything was out in the country ha ha- and bought more fresh cheese and some great bread, that day we went home and got some hot chocolate on the way so had a feast in the cozy kitchen when we got home. Wednesday nite we had a Mexican dinner party and invited the 3 couple who they are close friends with, sadly one couple couldn't make because their dog was really sick...but we had alot of fun with the other 2 couples. We went to a couple of different museums and art exhibits and "visited" the sculture they bought but agreed to leave until the exhibit/show was over. I fell in love with a piece myself and am still kicking myself for not buying it on impulse! I took a picture of it, and still can see it exactly where it should be sitting in my house! (my husband never reads my blog so it's ok if I say this ha ha). I hesitated and did not spend the money because it was enough $ that I should have discussed it with him first- so I did. But he does not look at art the way I do. I tried to show him examples of the few nice things I do have, and what they mean to me, but he didn't understand. That's what I mean about I kinda wish I had just gone for it. I mean he wouldn't have stayed mad forever....(I think ha ha). My sister had said...in a year will the money won't seem like much, but if you are looking at something you love....she was right. They had chosen a sculpture that was/is really cool, and it was fun to see how much she loved it. The sculptures were all created out of old things- alot of old farming equipment, tools, that sort of thing. You could see faces in them all. After that day I started seeing faces everywhere. At the apple cider place they had old farm tools hanging along the inside of the big barn we were in and I started taking pictures of them all because I could see faces in them all!
So I had a wonderful, awesome, fantastic time. We did alot, and yet, not. We also spent time watching movies or curled up reading. I exercised almost every morning, and Karen bought tickets to a zumba class we tried out. It wasn't the best...girl had no Latin bones in her skinny bod ha ha! But we had fun anyway. We all did good with eating- they are healthy eaters already so except for the ice cream we bought for the dinner party, there was no sneaky bad foods calling to me from the cupboards. I didn't put on any weight, stayed the same and I'm soooo happy about that. The time with them flew by. I was so sad to leave. Everardo heard it in my voice and asked if I wanted to stay longer. I did of course, but isn't that the right time to leave? And after the first few days it started to get cold and rainy anyway... and man when it got cold- it got cold....for me of course after living in sunny hot Mexico for the last 2.5 years.

I went to see them because I missed them. I had started to worry about my brother in law after talking/emailing with my sister, and then found out I had enough frequent flyer miles for a free ticket- so I went. Barry is my brother in law, but I've known him longer than anyone in my life except my brother and my 2 sisters. Maybe 40 years, maybe more. He's older than my sister, but has had some fucked up medical problems over the years, including open heart surgery, cancer, ect. His poor body is tired out, and now he's having some crazy issues where it seems like his brain can't get the message out sometimes to other body parts that it was just talkin' to. Sad and scary. But it's still him. They are still them. It's so touching how much they care for each other and how much my sister loves him. It's hard though, to become the one who kinda has to caretake the other, and I'm sure hard to be the one who can't do everything you did just not that long ago. That's another reason I love those friends and neighbors. The couple next door has a similar (but diff of course) problem, where the husband had brain cancer 7 years ago and the doctor said go home and get your affairs in order...but he beat it! But it took his toll, and little by little he has started to deteriorate. So the two women can commiserate and when they can laugh they can see their 2 gimps. And I suspect when they need to cry they have each others shoulders, hugs and unconditional support and love. I got to spend some one on one time with my sister and we talked and talked. About our mom, our family, ourselves...her family and mine, which of course when all is said and done, is the same family. Am I blessed or what? Love you sissy.

Wow! So this was such a long post that I think I am done...oh except to say on the way home I did come across the perfect zip up sweatshirt for only $20 in the airport (yep $20!) that says Upstate New York on it....and when I tried to catch that trolley back to the border, I missed it and had to wait almost an hour because they don't run as often on Sunday...but I missed it because the ticket machine would not give me a ticket- but it did spit a whole bunch of quarters at me...they just kept coming out of the machine! I found in the pile one of those new gold dollars that are just slightly bigger than a quarter and I bet it got stuck in the machine...so I made out with a couple of extra bucks on that deal. I walked back across the border and into the arms of my darling husband...and THAT is the end of my trip to upstate New York story! Viva y buenas noches!

getting ready to go to the states

It's Monday & I leave for The Big Apple on Thursday. Hmmm is it still considered the big apple if  you're not going to the city, but just the state, out in the country- to a tiny community? Yesterday someone told me if it's not "the city", it's "upstate". I told them I think I'm going more to the middle of the state and they said- you're going upstate-ha ha. ok. I'm so so so looking forward to this visit. My sister and I have so much closer over the past few years whether or not we actually see each other. Closer with my brother as well. Funny I have left from Mexico to visit my brother in Texas and now my sister in NY...Mexico encourages me to travel? And when I get back..yipee the road trip.

So my sister bought me the IPhone 5 I found on craigslist in her town- oh boy a "5". Ha ha right now I have a 3g, so it should be quite an improvement. I mean, my phone is fine- I don't need it for much besides magic jack so we can call the states for free and not need it connected to our computers or the wall. But I goggled the difference between the 3 and the 5....it's alot, size and shape, but the internet is quicker, the camera better, the speakers, I guess everything. I mean I rarely look up anything on the  internet or even go on FB because it's so slow, but when I was with my kids they were using the gps, and other internet functions and getting immediate results while I was still waiting, so I guess I'll have it if I need it.

I know I say this all the time, but Mexico has changed me. There is so much I don't need, can go without. I never use the dryer, I don't wear shoes. I don't text. I don't have 3000 channels on the tv. In fact we pay about 325 pesos a month for tv- that's about $26....I was listening to these people talk about their tv packages,,and they pay $100, $150 a month! They get "everything" (this means they get all the channels from the states). We get about 6 channels in English, and a couple that are a guess. The movies will say a different title in the on screen guide- now I just think it's funny- so you either have to watch a minute or read the blurb to see what movie it is. And I am starting to watch things in Spanish- however I notice if I watch a show I know- like Special Victims Law & Order, I can understand more and they speak slower because they are dubbing English which is spoken slower. But- at least right now (because I seem to change my mind alot-) that there are so many longer words in Spanish no wonder they have to say them faster ha ha. It has taken me some time to be open to long words- I mean so many syllables...that some words seem to go on & on. Words I had so much trouble with when I got here, or sounds I wasn't used to making.
There is basically no frozen food here. Popsicles, pizza, sometimes veges, and if you go to Costco in Ensenada you have some choices as long as you are willing to buy it in the big big big size. But I like the bakeries in all the stores- the food is out and you use a pan and tongs to pick your own, the amount you want, the ones you want. They they bag them up for you. Needing change for everything- coins I mean. For the guy who pumps your gas (no self serv), the people who bag your groceries or take your empty cart after your groceries are loaded into the car. And those guys- that's the only thing they get paid. Knowing that people are existing on so little. People work so hard here. Kids take care of their little brothers and sisters- grandparents take care of kids because parents work. Not crazy about all this part. I want my kids to have a childhood, and my young adult children to enjoy themselves, to find themselves- I am happy my daughters didn't (and for the 21 yr old- don't) want to have a baby until late 20's or early 30's. If I wished for one thing for Mexico it would be birth control. I see parents every day who look like teenagers. Married at 16 or 18, or even 20...kids right away. I mean I do love how the Mexican people are so family oriented, that families stay together, kids, parents, grandparents...but everyone grows up to quick, and they work too hard for too long. 

You never drink water from the tap, or even use it for cooking- it's just for washing dishes or your hands. There is no mail, no mailbox. You pay your bills at the grocery store. The phone system- ha ha. You have to dial numbers in front of the number when dialing from a landline to a cell and different to a long distance cell. You do not pay gov't fees, like dr lic, school, immigration at their offices, you pay it at the bank. And even weirder- you must first get the money from you bank, then give it back to them in cash to pay whoever it is.

The stores may or may not have the same items as last week. You will always wait in line. For a while. Back to the tv- it used to drive me crazy when they showed the same commercial 2 or 3 times back to back, on every break. Now I don't even notice. I know something may take all day. I know we make plans and they may or may not happen. So I guess I would say maybe patience and acceptance are the 2 biggies I am learning here. Ha ha the cars! My car is getting rusty from the salty air, and the driver door-wait- both front doors have to be opened from the outside! Cars that would never be approved to drive in Calif- never pass smog, some with no lic plates, lights not working, pieces missing. Many homes are the same way- they would never be lived in-yet people find a way.

But there's other stuff. I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to be on a path where I am working on myself- mind, body, spirit. Exercise, eating right, mediation, AA....I'm finding a way to make all these different things seem to go hand in hand. I am journaling about my exercise-food-weight, and starting to do the same with meditation. This blog has been my day to day online sort of diary where I get to think it thru by writing it down and sometimes I just wait to see what I write ha ha. Right now I am feeling "Let it go" in a huge way. It's a concept we embrace in AA- do your best and then let go- it's about not worrying, it's about having some faith in the universe, about understanding that you do what you can, but so many things are out of our control, and anxt'ing over them does nothing. In fact I believe that negative feelings/thoughts can actually create negative energy around something and maybe affect the outcome in a negative or at least different way. In meditation, which to me is also about spirituality (like AA), doing my part and then getting out of the way for the rest. The process is the goal. Make plans but don't be married to the results. Detaching. And with my health program I am trying to measure my results, see what works and what doesn't and modify process and goals as I go- no judgements. So I am starting to see where it all relates to each other.

So yeah, Mexico has changed me- for the better. I appreciate what's around me. I have slowed down so much.Wow I just wrote about a page on something else I'm trying to take care of and then accidentally deleted it- well maybe it's not the right time to share it. Ha! Expectations is another huge thing I am learning to let go of here. Expecting things to go "right". In Mexico think of how something should logically go, then get ready for the opposite ha ha.
But it's ok. Watching the fog and clouds yesterday slipping over the mountain at the mouth of the bay and then back over the hills all wispy. Our bay is a horseshoe with us at the bottom, Ensenada on the north side and these hills on the right. Fog comes in and sneaks around the peak at the end, the sun sets right there as well. The water is different colors at different times of day. There's some crazy birds in the big tree across the road going the other way (toward the estuary) and lately they are very nosiy at nite. They are some kind of egret I think. I've been trying to figure out what they are by google (of course) but am not sure. But they start talking about 9pm and are sometimes still making their funny noises after 11pm when I go to bed, and my window is on that side. In the gym this morning I was looking out at the water as I did the bowflex for my arms, and thought about how the door to the place is so rusty- it looks terrible- but usually I don't even notice it as I gaze thru the doorway out to the bay. We are a contradiction of beauty and old broken down ugly...people are so poor here, but so rich in spirit, in nature. Maybe that's how it works eh?
I love Mexico! I love the people, the country, the love, the simplicity, the culture, the history. Yes i know there's lots of bad stuff, corruption- how do you tell the cartel bad stuff from the gov't bad stuff? Giving cops $ to let you go. Knowing in most cases I wouldn't call the cops for something wrong. When they are racing down the road lights and sirens- ha ha the cars don't move out of their way! They shake their heads..."fuckin cops"....but if an ambulance comes shrieking thru- the cars do their best to move over. Cracks me up. People are just trying to live their lives. Hanging onto hope. Smiling all the time. Yeah- I love Mexico!
Well maybe my next post will be from a farm house in NY...viva!

Trying to catch up

This will be a short post. My laptop is in the repair shop and I'm using my husband's laptop. I couldn't find my blog to write in and got frustrated. I have it bookmarked on my laptop and so never have to sign in or find my way to my posts- in fact I haven't found it yet and hope when I publish this one, that the page will then revert to my posts that includes along the side a table of contents with my stats and a link to my dashboard....

Ok enough admin crappola eh!

It has been beautiful here. And the pelicans and dolphins are back. Ahh sigh, that's the serenity I'm talkin about. The dolphins come in ones and twos, not every day, but often. The pelicans however, I guess follow the fish? Since at least June they have been scarce, maybe one or two once in a great while. But in the past 2 weeks they have returned with a flourish. A couple of days ago I county around 40 of them sitting at the edge of the water just before the sun went down. I ran in and got my camera, and when I came out there were even more! A pelican convention! I must have taken over 100 pictures...which is my new way as a budding photgrapher...and then after I download them onto my laptop I usually choose about 10 to post on facebook, maybe 15 or more to keep, and delete the rest. But oh yeah- same nite is when my laptop broke.

Yeah broke. I was having a small issue with the screen but I could live with it- but the guy at the repair place told me to watch the hinge....and the other day I did not watch the hinge, closed it too quick and eeeww the noise it made. Took it back to the guy...and well...his fixing it and putting in a new screen so I have to wait. The problem with that and my great picture is- Everardo's laptop which does not have that kind of problem, has one detecting the sim card with the photos on it, so it's really hard to download new pics...aarrgghh!

Anyway I have some awesome pelican photos in my camera. Then yesterday morning I was working out up in the gym down our road, and I saw about 5 dolphins swimming in the bay. A couple chasing each other and one blowing up water like a whale! That one was jumping up out of the water, too. It's just such a ...such a joy to watch them, always makes me feel happy. Then about 60 pelicans all came in together and landed along the shore! The convention continues! Maybe they partied the nite before...and all slept in and were just showing up for the day's activities... but what a morning! I worked out, and got to see dolphins and pelicans! If I had gone home and put the covers over my head it still would have been a perfect day! But it did actually get better!

My workout ends up taking almost 3 hours on the days I go to the gym...that's counting walking over there and back (ok 3 min each way) adding in the sit ups I do on my "ab lounger", then switching to my beat up 25 peso sunglasses and heading down to the beach (about 100 yards away). The actual gym time is between 45 and 50 min. My dance routine is timed for 25 minutes twice. I need to know when I hit halfway. It's only 50 min because when I first started doing it, I walked way down the beach as I danced, but these days it's basically no walking-all dancing and I stay pretty close to home. Well unless there is red tide, which has come and gone all summer and I usually walk to one end of it or the others-whichever way is shorter....(I just don't want Sam & Hazel swimming in it any more than they have to- and they always "have to" swim during my exercise time- meaning I have to hose them off when I get home). Calling it a "routine" is sorta stretching it- yes I exercise routinely for at least 50 min....ok here's what I do: The music is a mixture of zumba and rock & roll, and it plays in different order every day ha ha. I can also manually make it skip songs, and I feel different on different days....like today I felt like a rocker and did mostly rock and roll. Other days I feel more zumba like...you get it....but usually it's a mix. I have steps worked out for 5 or 6 songs, and kinda steps for a couple more, and the rest is dancing the way I feel ha ha!!
Ok then shower and make my protein shake, wash the blender and sit down to drink it. I guess shower and shake is about half an hour, sometimes a little more. Anyway maybe closer to 2.5 hours....but if I start getting dressed for my work out at 9am, it seems like I am sitting down with my protein shake at almost noon. That M-W-F. Tues & Thurs is less than 2 hours with only about an hour of actual dancing. Yeah I know I said it's 50 min, but I usually keep going for at least another song or two....

So after my workout and subsequent collapse to drink my shake, I had about an hour and a half before I left for my afternoon meditation group which is 2 hours. I really liked it. We are discussing this book- Essential Spirituality and it has exercises to do to go along with the concepts it offers. We just started this book, but I really like it so far and worked on the exercises before the class, and then we kinda talk about how we felt about it and could be as detailed or not detailed as we wanted, because some of it can be pretty personal as you take a look inside yourself. So that was nice as well.
Then home for a little down time, then dinner and a nice walk on the beach as it started to get dark with Poppi and both dogs- who were so happy to run and be silly. There was still pelicans swooping and diving and at least one dolphin. Nice day. And my nice days seem to be running together. I cannot believe it's the end of August! Where is the time going?

At the end of next week I'm going to see my sister and I'm so excited about that! They have a farmhouse out in the country in New York- how cool is that? Her first house, and they have a little dog named Emmy who I haven't met yet. My brother in law is not doing great...kinda rickety..a little sickly...and I just want to spend a little time with them. They have a riding lawn mower and I get to drive it! Cool! I think they have a pond and sort of a floating dock- or maybe it's more like a pontoon- I'll let you know...and I have no idea whether it will be warm enough for that. She just emailed me and said she found a zumba class near her place, so she and I can do that together- so totally cool! And maybe I can learn some new steps for my beach dancing. Oh yeah, I guess I'll have to break out my old workout clothes since here I wear a really old pair of baggy shorts and a couple of old tshirts- one of which does say New York on it!

I'm also hoping to find a used IPhone out there...yeah on the hunt for that again, same as when I went to see my daughters in May, but I got bored/frustrated with it there- but now my phone is kinda getting worse and I need need need my magic jack to talk to my girls, so this time I think I'll try to stick with it; in fact I wrote to someone selling one on Craigslist and my sister is gonna go take a look at it (hopefully), so..we'll see. I talk to my Drewy several times a week and Halla almost as much so it's worth it to me to do the work to get one.

When I get back- we go on our Mexico adventure, down to our house in Guerrero and to Michocan to see Poppi's sister & brother. I'm excited to get my books! My antique desk and my peacock blanket that I bought when I came down here with my friend and we had to stay all nite in the Mexico City airport huddled together. I didn't know 2 years would go by before we went back there....I'm excited to see it, feel it, the water, my rock, our house. Oh and our renters are going on vacation so want to pay the rent 6 months in advance so that's nice- we know we'll have someone in there for at least another 6 months- Ha! I wish they wanted to buy it! I'm not even sure they will be there when we get there, and I'm sorry to go in when they aren't home...but I guess we will.  Maybe they will wait to leave until after we come.....
But who knows what comes next-life is good right now so......for now....VIVA!!

Yo soy una permanente residente!!!!

Yea baby! Got my permanent residency card today for Mexico. I have my card in my hand...so it must be true. Woot Woot!! It's good forever!! FOREVER. I can do everything except vote. That will come with citizenship. I could have applied for citizenship now, but it would have been a huge hassle because we would have had to have gone to Mexicali for the process. Not sure but the process might (might) be simpler from permanent resident to citizenship, but probably the same, ha ha. Anyway I have this thought in my head that required or not, I want to be fluent in Spanish prior to applying for full citizenship....out of respect, you know what I mean?

Good day today. I woke up refreshed, felt like I slept really well after not so good the nite before. Sleep comes and goes for me, sometimes sooo elusive. It's another thing I hope changes after November when I am no longer (yes NO LONGER) taking the arimidex (anti cancer meds). 5 long long years and my symptoms seem to be ache-y joints, not  great sleep, and hot flashes that mean I have been wearing no sleeves for YEARS and in cold weather I just carry a jacket or sweater...because at any given moment I want to tear my clothes off ha ha...and that just wouldn't be good for anybody!

Ok so I woke up good. Then with coffee I turned on a news station in Spanish- because I just couldn't bear to hear one more word from the U.S. slant on whatever country we are decimating ...or uh..."supporting". Anyway the really cool thing was I realized I was following the story completely!! They were talking about opportunities for young Mexicans; education, jobs, etc., how to discourage some behaviors and encourage others. The challenges young people face and how it's different in different states of Mexico....money or environment, ect. Anyway I jumped up yelling- I get it I get it!!! Everardo had been listening to some Mexican political news on his laptop with his headphones and looked up at me....Honestly, he doesn't really get how much I do NOT get. I mean I'll understand the idea or the subject of a news story or a conversation, but no details....so much to me us "blah blah blahdy blahdy blah" and then I catch another couple of words. So my total comprehension just thrilled me.

Then we left and headed out for the immigration office, with no expectations. Actually we were talking about getting a juicer. Last nite I watched U Tube videos and read reviews about juicers until I found out way more than I ever wanted to know about juicers ha ha. 3 types....many brands....prices all over the map. Different uses. Used and new. We want to make beets and carrot juice. So we need the strong kind...(centrifugal as opposed to masticating or auger...or a 4th- twin gear...see how informed I am??). Yesterday I posted on a local bulletin board looking for a used one and got some replies, only one fit, but it was pretty far from here and close to the original price. We did look at another one that was centrifugal but too small. But I'm getting ahead of myself. We arrived, went in....and...wait for it...................I GOT MY RESIDENTE PERMANENTE card!! Yippee. You know what I say about Mexico: If you don't have it in your hand you got nothing. So I got it!! I was giddy.....singing a silly "yo soy residente permanente" song. Poppi was smiling his head off and laughing.

Ok laughed thru Costco and Comercial Mexicana getting dog food and looking at juicers in both places...then called the guy we thought had a used one that would work for us. Based on his answers we thought ok good- let's go. Ha ha One question was can you put a whole apple in it? Yes he said, we made beet, carrot apple juice every day. Aha. So when we got back from Ensenada we called for directions, went over there....but alas...semantics....he did put an apple in it....after cutting up into about 6 pieces...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So yes you can put a whole apple in it, but what I meant was- can you drop a whole intact applet into the juicer.....if I had asked it that way, the answer would have been "nope". In the end we decided to buy one online and get it shipped to our friend Tim's address in San Ysidro (in California). He's going to the states next week and will pick it up on his way down when he comes back...or worst case his mail service will bring it down and we might have to pay $5 or $6 for that.

Everardo made some carrot beet celery juice with the juicer borrowed from the neighbor willing to sell his used one....the juice was good but the juicer not so much....ha ha that ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back and hence the decision to buy one. Anyway I'm excited about it, Everardo has been stopping at stands and buying veggie juice all along, but it's new for me. It fits right in with my current efforts to be healthier, & to make better food decisions. I'm thinking that mid afternoon when I get hit with a craving or really just need a snack this will be perfect. Protein shake in the late morning after my workout, then a veggie juice in the afternoon....then dinner, then good. I only noticed a couple of days ago that I'm not wanting a snack after dinner, like 10 pm. Before all this new plan (5 months ago...) it was an ice cream bar or some cookies, or a bowl of cereal. Once I started I started trading sweets for golden delicious apples or a scoop of yogurt...but lately I have just not needed anything else....yippee.

Ok other great thing about today!! Everardo is celebrating 5 years clean and sober today!! He's going to come with me to the English speaking meeting tomorrow nite, and my friend Jan is making him a special bakery delight. I told her nothing with icing....not because of me, but because he's not a big sweets eater. He's feeling pretty good right now...and I'm so happy for him- he is such a gift in my life. 5 years is a big deal. Every milestone is a big deal.

There's alot going on in the world right now, but for this moment in time...I just wanna enjoy the moment. So that's it for now. Viva

Looking forward

Mexico changed me and continues to change me, even though sometimes the changes are not even with Mexico or the Mexican people. The meditation groups I just joined-I think most of the people in both meditation groups are expats- Americans or Canadians, but I know there's a woman from Chile, and another from Holland. There's another woman who I think travels extensively, and has been to India several times and other places; it's funny, she caught me in the hall and after chit chatting for a few minutes she told me she thinks that I am interesting! And she wants to get to know ME! ha ha I was thinking the same of her....so I went to meditation looking for one thing but am also finding other things....I also think my friend Jan is very interesting and she is also married to a Mexican and we have found a couple of things to laugh about with our heads together.

Something happened today that also has me back to thinking about how I can contribute to the community in a positive way. At the grocery store there were at least 20 kids standing around the bakery counter, young kids, maybe 7 to 12 years old...maybe some younger and some older than that, but not much older. They were all with this one guy, I thought he seemed like a priest maybe even though he was not wearing "priest clothes" ha ha. The kids were jostling each other and laughing...then I saw them all again in the checkout lanes and people were smiling at them, and I saw the guy counting them- aha! keep track...and I realized he was counting in English....and that got me thinking. When we got outside he was herding them into a little micro bus and I asked Everardo if he thought they were from around here, and that I saw/heard the guy counting them in English. Poppi said yeah they're probly from here; that there's community centers or places where people are helping kids- that sometimes it's for kids that the parents are addicts and have gone to a rehab, sometimes it's for kids who's families are trying to feed their kids and are struggling. I want to get involved. I don't know how exactly, but I was looking when I first got here and couldn't find anything, but we've been over here awhile now..I think this is month 10, and maybe it's time to open up my eyes again. Even if it's one day a week...So I don't know how I'm gonna find these places....worst case is going back to the store and asking, or going back to the store next Sunday afternoon...but helping a kid? Everardo is working 5 days a week and always on the weekend- his days off are not even in a row (Mon & Thur)...I think I can donate some time. I think it's time to try again to get involved.

Yes I'll be gone for 10 days in Sept- so what. And then we'll be gone 2 or 3 weeks, after I get back, but these kids are not going anywhere, maybe I can find out where one or more of these places are, and talk to somebody...yeah. Good! New plan. Find a new way to be of service. Wish me luck readers- I am a part of this life, of this world, of people. I cannot affect or change so many terrible horrible things I see going on all over the world. I cannot bear to watch the news anymore. But right here, in front of me, where I breathe, are people living in such poverty...are struggling families, are kids who...well you know what I mean. I used to love this slogan "Think globally act locally". Writing here always helps me put my thoughts in order. I write a bunch of crap, and then something positive comes up sometimes. I want to help-, maybe helping with school work, maybe washing dishes, maybe teaching English, maybe playing games, maybe telling stories...I believe it's ok that this minute I don't know how or what-but- Yes wish me luck please, I want to help.
Well my foot is almost better. I assume my toe is broken, but what do you do with a broken toe? Tape it to the next toe? So I wrapped it and kept it elevated whenever I sat down. Exercising was interesting but not impossible. The weights were fine, but dancing?? ha ha I was like a chubby awkward stork on th beach, hopping around on one foot, or staying still and flapping my wings all over the place. But I did it. By Monday my toes were black and blue as well as half my foot....but I think the bruising is the path to healing. But like I said I kept up with my exercise program. I found I can keep my heart rate up with alot of arm swinging almost standing in place.

However I do realize that I have to modify, revise, as I go. So when I have the morning meditation group every other Wed morning, I am going to take the day off from exercising, and make it up on Saturday. It's a full workout day, meaning weights & dance so I don't want to just skip it, but this is the second time I did the workout in the afternoon and ended up feeling like shit after, so afternoons are out for the full monty. I have become...old? arrgghh ok maybe not old, but at least set in my ways, and having my protein shake at 4pm, then not wanting dinner, and being fatigued at 7pm...then wide awake at 11pm ha ha. Not workin' for me..... My full workout ends up being about 3 hours...so... because I want to go to meditation as well, I just have to revise. ok

Well that leads into something else. My new friend Jan had me over because I am borrowing her extra Kindle for a few days since my book for the afternoon meditation hadn't come in yet and for this Wed I need to have read a portion of it. When I was there she showed me her new toy- a Wii Fit. I've never used a Wii before but seen them of course. Jan wants to start exercising but is a little older than me, and needs to start slow, so she's been coming over to take a walk on the beach on a few afternoons. We usually walk about an hour and a half, but "leisurely", stopping to pick up perfect sand dollars, or to make a point about something. Watching my silly dogs romp in the surf. I bring their ball and so they jump around us excitedly- as if we don't play ball at the beach every single day (ha ha) and they chase every one like it might somehow get away. Anyway she shows her Wii and it looked pretty fun so I gave it a try with a couple of programs....a balance thing where a penguin is on an iceberg gobbling fish ha ha, also a step routine, and it also got my heart rate going. Her plan is to do it every day but invited me as well- so I thought....oh! How about on Wed afternoons after the morning meditation- which she also goes to-....so that would be every other week for me, and she liked that idea, and I can see her progress and she can keep walking with me. Aha love it when things work out right??

Well I just used my blog to figure out a new workout sch..adding something new on alternating Wednesdays and making up the weights...

So I started the book "Essential Spirituality" and I think maybe I am going to love it. This is for the afternoon meditation group that alternates Weds as well. It's a much bigger group and more structured. The plan is to read an agreed portion of the text, on our own "do" the associated exercised, and then share our experience at group. There is an opening and closing meditation, with the discussion in the middle. I read into the first section with the first "exercises". It was about identifying your cravings- and not my craving for ice cream, rather things like, for example, anger- how am I addicted to it? Well if it's my first solution to things/events in front of me, then what is the pay off, or what am I afraid of, or what do I think I'm not getting that I deserve? But you can also crave or be addicted to...work, alcohol, sex, food, other emotions...fear....Not positive I totally get the concept, but I plan to re read the section before the meeting and am very interested in hearing what other people have to say. Then the exercises help you to investigate your feelings and then make a plan to change your habits.....I mean one example was as simple as if you are always late and you want to change, to commit to being on time, then make the commitment, have no exceptions, keep a journal, create a new habit- so see I don't really understand....but I want to. I mean I understand addiction- I'm an alcoholic with 13 years in recovery, so I know about commitment, changing my life, my habits, how I look at things. In fact AA invited me to find a spiritual path and that has brought me to here, now, to this minute. And my new health/fitness commitment to myself- I have just started month 5, and I am keeping a journal about both my progress and how I feel about it. So maybe I understand more than I know, just need to hear it another way. Anyway I'm excited for this new journey as well.

Ha! I start out writing one thing and then jump around. And yet I feel more settled. One thing though, I am so excited to see in my stats that I get views from people in Turkey and even Iraq...as well as lots of other countries I know I have said that before...Germany, China, Russia..all over the place. I wish so much people would comment. Maybe you will only say what a lame blog ha ha. Most of the page views are from the U.S and Mexico- but what do those people think? I know this is just my online diary and in the beginning it was about this new country I moved to, but now I have settled in one spot and so mostly write about day to day stuff (altho I do have 2 trips coming up). So I still wish I knew what people think....you can comment....I would love it- and if it's all negative comments, well another opportunity for me to work on acceptance ha ha. I do not have tons of people reading this, if I was trying to make money I would have already starved to death ha ha.I just checked- less than 500 looks at my blog in the past month...ah well. But I get to write how I feel and what I'm up to, and like I said I sometimes figure out stuff here....like deciding I want to try again to get involved in the community - maybe I gave up to easy before....anyway, as always....Viva!

Interesting weather...& what's comin'

We have had thunder and lightening storms the last 2 days. Weird. I tried to google it and see if it is indeed weird for the area since I haven't been here in summer, but I couldn't find anything. Well I did find an article saying northern Baja usually mirrors southern Calif....San Diego/LA. And I know raining in summer is not normal for those areas....

Sam our big lab is scared of thunder just like fireworks so has been staying close, but today is only muggy. That brings me to the next thing  that this weekend has been about is I am kinda stuck because Friday morning I smashed my foot into a door jam and probly broke my toe. I still worked out Friday but luckily I don't on weekends. So I've either sat in a chair with my leg up or limped around all weekend. Sooo boring. So boring in fact that I took a photo of my toes all bruised and actually put it on facebook ha ha!!

It's really black & blue now, but actually feeling better and tomorrow I am back at my normal workout regime. Friday was August 1 so I am starting month 5 and happy with myself that I am on target and on my path. Exercise wise I have stayed true....it's funny how I don't want to exercise but I have NEVER been sorry after I finished. I'm sure it's that whole releasing of endorphins thing because I always always feel better after I workout. Sometimes exhausted and done for the day, but mentally always better. Almost every morning I think when I wake up, I'm gonna skip it for today, but I have learned to simply get up and have my coffee. Actually when I get up, I get out of bed, then turn around and make my bed first thing. Then brush my teeth...then whatever is next. Usually stumble out to the kitchen for my coffee, and in this tiny place it's not too many steps ha ha.

When I was a kid we had to make our beds every morning, except the day the sheets got changed and then we had to strip it. When I first moved out I didn't always make it, and in the awful years...with who I refer to as the "sperm bank" we never never made the bed. As soon as I left that terrible relationship I became obsessed with making my bed every morning, and to this day...30 years later, I make it as soon as I pop out of it. Anyway back to my exercise routine. So I don't argue with myself when I first wake up...I just have the "nope not gonna exercise today" and go about my stuff and then sit with my coffee. Every time...every single time I decide to do my workout.

 This month I really want to stick close on my new eating lifestyle as well. I thought I was doing good, and the truth is my shape and weight are changing. Slowly, I am not crash dieting or doing a heavy duty weights or cardio workout- I don't want to hate it or dread it. With the weights I'm doing some arm stuff and a couple of leg things, and trying for more reps and not too much weight. I don't want big muscles or something that will turn to big blobs of fat if I stop for a few weeks. What I want is for the weights to help my cardio. There's something that you burn off with weights that makes the cardio more effective. I forget what it is, but I do the weights first. I researched the hell out of it, reading opinions on both sides and sided with weights first- it made sense to me. My cardio has become total dance. I set my phone to time 25 minutes and I go twice. I just like to know when I am on the flip side. I don't usually end up right in front our beach path, so the extra 10 minutes to make up an hour usually gets danced ha ha. I dance 5 days a week and do weights 3 times a week. My ipod is a cross of 70's rock & roll and Mexican zumba music. So I have some steps I learned in zumba class, and actually for about 4 songs (20 min) I have worked out routines, and then there's 2 other songs that one is all arms and the other is all leg kicks.

The rest, I just dance how I feel...I like to twirl and jump....ok probly won't do any jumping for a few more days. A lot of the time my eyes are closed. But when they are open, I see my dogs running in and out of the surf. I see silly birds, sometimes I see dolphins.....I see the where the sky meets the ocean out past the mouth of the bay, I see the sharp peak of the mountain that guards the left side mouth of the bay; sometimes with swirling wisps of fog around it, sometimes just fluffy little clouds, and sometimes it's just crystal clear. But all that- believe you me! Makes dancing at the edge of the water easy every morning, makes it breath taking, makes it alive! So Monday thru Friday I am rejuvenated with my dancing. And the weights are not that hard, and don't take that long. Sam and Hazel always walk down to that falling down abandoned house; Sam waits outside because like me he hates stairs, but Hazel runs up and down them and checks on me every few minutes. On the 2 minute walk back to our place Sam gets very happy because he knows the beach dance is next. I don't bring the ball because then the whole thing becomes about them and the darn ball. So they find their own things to play with, Hazel eggs Sam into chasing her into the water so we all have a good time- every time. People walk by and either I don't see them or we wave at each other. A few jog, others walk their dogs, who all socialize with each other....yeah exercising here is nice.

So next month I'm going for 10 days to see my sister in New York. I think it's upstate NY, right near the Albany airport...so is that considered upstate? I've only ever been to Queens & Manhattan I think, and for sure never out in the country. They have a farmhouse in a tiny town next to another town not alot bigger...sounds perfect. They have a couple of acres so I will have room to dance. It won't be like when I went to see my daughters where it just seemed I was so busy...well it's where I came here from, so doctors appts, friends, etc. Here it will just be them, and they have always been really health conscious. Years ago, when my daughters were little and we lived by my mom, both my sister and her husband and my brother and his family would stay with us when they came "home". My sister and the Bear (her hubby) would bring their own food for breakfasts, lunches & snacks but usually have what we were eating for dinner. We always thought they were nuts. But really- they were the healthy ones! They brought oatmeal, nuts, seeds, berries, ate yogurts non fat milk, etc. Bananas and apples...Yeah the way I eat now. Back then we either ate cereal like frosted flakes ha ha or eggs and bacon....and sandwiches (lunch meat) for lunch. They had much better eating habits than us. But now that's how I eat, and talking to my kids- they both eat much better than back then as well. More natural foods, more fruits and veges, more organic..... Anyway my plan is to stick with my new eating plan which I bet will be easily done at their place and do my workout as well.

That means that this month- August I need to stay true. I did a true month in April, then May I went up to northern Calif, and did my best, but hardly any exercise. June I was sick for over a week- too sick to exercise. July I was true to exercise but gave myself a break when I went to the AA convention and made bad food choices....ha ha so easy with that first bite of a giant homemade chocolate chip cookie... Sept I travel and then we may travel in Oct as well. Not sure if it will be Oct or Nov, yet, but we are going back to Playa Ventura, to Michocan, hopefully to Oaxaca, and who knows where else..and we may be gone 2.5 weeks and as long as a month. It's funny the month long trip sounds so cool except for leaving Sam & Hazel for that long. And really, it's Sam. Hazel is a baby, turning 1 year old in Sept, so she will not worry like Sam will. Once I left him for 3 weeks, had a house/dog sitter and he was fine...I missed him terribly though. And we will have a a house/dog sitter here as well. I don't want someone coming by every day to feed and walk them, I want someone to live here with them. Our friend was just in the hospital since Monday and he got home today (Sunday). It was quite sudden, and we went every day and got his dog Iggy and brought him over to our house. Iggy was fine at home alone. I believe he's stayed home in this manner before. But our dogs are our children...yeah I'm so happy that Everardo feels the same way about them as I do....Anyway we have someone who is happy to do it, and she knows them and already spoils them when she see them, so I'm ok with it.....well pretty much...ha ha.

So I make plans and life goes on. I made a monthly daily lifestyle plan for a year. What I have to remember is I am changing my lifestyle....so that means I live my life...just from a bit of a different perspective...a small shift. The shift is ultimately for my health...as in I don't want to ever have cancer again, as in I want to see my children live their beautiful lives, as in I want to see my grandchildren, whoever that family may be...I only have Danica (5yrs) so far, but will Drew & Rex have other children? Will Halla? Will Elena? Where will we live 10 years from now? Mexico? Calif? Somewhere else?   

A short story about the hammock...

Did I already say I love my new hammock? Yeah pretty sure I did. It's wide, and if you lay right down the center, the sides can fold up over you. Everardo put hooks in the beam on the porch and you hang low, close to the ground, but not too close because it makes it hard to get out.

Just like how it was down in Playa Ventura. I know when we were down there I must have written that sleeping in the hammock is the best. That I loved my naps. That it's long enough and wide enough, and slack enough to let you twist and turn, to sleep all curled up or stretched out completely. That the sound of the ocean, the slightest of breezes, a gentle rock can lull you off to sleep in minutes...sometimes feels like seconds.

It was the same in Puerto Penasco except for missing the sound of the ocean, and there was almost never a breeze. But here in Baja, in my new hammock it was the same. Last nite I noticed it and today....today there was the smallest of breezes, and the after rain smell that we had alot of in Playa Ventura since the rainy season is all summer (of course it stayed unbearably hot/humid even in the rain), but I lay there today, my eyes closed, rocking ever so slowly, the sound of the ocean...I wiggled around just a little and whispered "ahhhh". My eyes were closed and for a moment, just a couple of moments, I thought, "where am I?" I felt like I was in Playa Ventura. I listened to the ocean and thought of my friend Chela who lived down the road, that maybe I would walk down there in a little while. Hmmm should I walk along the road or along the beach? I knew Sam was somewhere near by and always ready to go down to gume and Chela's place- she always had a tidbit for him. I thought of that "jeugo de pepina" she would make for me. It was sooo refreshing! Cucumber, icy water. a little bit of sugar. Hmmmm. If I walk down the road, even that short way I'll be sweating and be even wetter than I am now. If I walk down the beach I will surely jump in right as I get to there place, and Sam will have gone in and out, chasing a stick or a branch, just in that 5 minute walk. Still, I think the beach is the best walk.

But do I want to open my eyes yet? Do I want to move from this most comfortable place? Mmmmm, maybe a little longer. I can feel the paperback book I brought into the hammock with me sitting on my chest. I know the water in the water bottle on the ground below me is already warm, even though I filled it with ice water just a minute ago. I lathered myself with my precious Autan (mosquito oil) before I climbed in- ok let's face it, I put it on when I wake up, after swimming, after a shower, and I am still covered in bites. With my eyes still closed and floating at the edge of asleep and awake, I think about how I have only a few, 2 or 3 bites right now...hmmm, I can take a liesurely nap, Everardo won't be here for hours...where is he? Is he out fishing with Gencho? Is he going for lobster with Romero? Now that would be nice......

I floated a little longer and then I slowly opened my eyes. My book is on my chest. It's not quite as hot as it should be....the ocean is not quite as loud as it should be....ahhh I am here, in Baja. We are on a bay, not the Pacific with waves crashing against the rocks. It is not so hot that I never cared we had no hot water. In fact the breeze on my sweat is actually cooling me off a little. Yeah that's not Guererro...that's Baja. I walked on the beach for a couple of hours earlier with my friend Jan and the dogs (of course), came home, chatted with my younger daughter on the phone about this new woman she met and is kinda falling for....and then I took my book and my water bottle out to my new hammock and climbed in. Sam plunked himself right down below me, content to take a snooze. Hazel hadn't really experienced the hammock much since I was fussing with it the couple of times I tried to make the old one work with the gaping holes and deteriorated tears in it. So as I settled in she was very interested, poking her head and I could tell, thinking of hopping in- but I told her no and she was happy to cuddle up with Sam. I did read for awhile, and every so often give myself a little push to swing me, to rock me....

Not sure when I let go of the book, when the ocean sounds were what I began to hear, when my mind began to wander, when I started to play the "where am I" game. So I am here, right where I should be, but happy to know I can revisit another place, easily, with a gentle rock, a slight breeze, and the sound of the ocean.....nice....viva