Busy month...planting..dancing...family...

I can't believe I haven't written all month! Lots going on and April has flown by.

Finds from walking on the beach...

I found this while I was dancing in the morning on the beach

Everardo got really creative while building his garden. He used old tires, cut and painted them and made planters. The earth here is very sandy so he gets dirt off the nearby mountain and adds horse poop...but he's deciding what kind of planter boxes he wants...he added sheets of plastic and now we have a greenhouse!

Oh and he made his own hydroponic watering system using barrels (like the one in the picture above that is cut into a planter)..barrels that wash up onto the shore from the tuna boats.

Ok and a couple of random shots of what's happening around here in April"

Yes it's been a busy month. Planting veges and flowers, and building and revising the garden area. Then our neighbor decided she wanted a greenhouse as well and was going to have Everardo build it- but then she decided to just contribute to ours so we have plants and veges growing all over the place.

I went to the United States early in the month and brought back lots of seeds and so did she. Everardo is making planters out of everything from old tires to empty dog treat boxes to empty gallon plastic milk jugs. We have tomatoes, lettuce, chiles, zuchini, watermelon, onions, summer squash, radishes, carrots...and more. We're not sure what will grow...this is an agricultural area but not here- here it's beach. But around Ensenada they grow everything.

I always thought I lived "in the country"; northern California has dairy farms and horse ranches and everything in between,...but here- well here it's sorta more in your face. The other day Poppi had to slam on the breaks for a cow who stepped into the road. A couple of weeks ago there was a herd of goats along the road. Some of the farms are right along side the main roads, so we see what's growing, and we see the people planting. So now I'm wondering how much is planted by hand in California and how much is by machine. The planting areas were not near me however, and I think that was just naive of me to write- the central valley has thousands of migrant workers and near us in northern Calif are the vineyards of Napa and Sonoma counties, which also have thousands of workers. I'm just not used to seeing it on a daily basis.

So I made a few pesos helping my friend with the reservation schedule and it was working online and took a few hours each week this month, so I didn't feel much like going online, so my poor blog didn't get written. I was also trying to get my school supplies/handouts together for my new group of students and I can't believe how well thats going!!

I started teaching at a new location, at the Cantu salon where there are already some adult education classes going on. They finish at 6:30 so I agreed to have my class from 6:30-8. It's so cool! I have more than 20 students and a few kids as well. It's funny, the kids can pronounce the words much more easily than many of the adults...but their attention spans are much shorter ha ha! Anyway these adults want to learn. Now it's true I had about 15 people when I started the class in the other place, and then it got steadily smaller and smaller, in the end just 3 students. But here these people are already at a class they chose to take, and they're staying for mine. I was actually a little surprised, because after an hour and a half of math (at least one class is math) I would think they'd be too tired to do another hour and a half of learning English. So it's been 2 weeks of 2 classes a week (Tue & Thurs), and I have almost the same amount. This past Thursday I had maybe only 14 adults (still alot) and they told me that a couple of people were sick, and someone else can only come every other Thurs...but they told me that they like the class. Each time I am nervous all afternoon before the class, worried that they won't like it, or I won't be a good teacher. And every time it goes great! I was SO happy when they told me they like my class. It is not formal English, it's for having a conversation, so we are not talking about "rules".

It was funny, I was trying to tell them in Spanish that next week or maybe the following week I may not be there because I might have to go to Florida because my brother in law is sick, but I will return and we will have classes for as long as they want to come. Well when I said "proxima semana" (next week), this woman named Carina said "examen?" (test?) I laughed and no no no you will have no tests in here- this is supposed to be fun- you will learn if you want to do the work. They all laughed. I start the class with a lesson in mind, but if something else comes up then I start to build the class around that. Another cool thing about this class is that it's about half and half men & women. I like that. And a couple of guys speak a few words of English and one was asking me how to write a couple of things- he wants to learn to read and write for a job. So I told him think about what he wants to learn to say, read & write and I can build class lessons around it so he will learn and so will everyone else. He was very happy about that. If you can't tell by reading this, I am very excited and happy about doing this class.

So about my brother in law. Last September I went to visit him and my sister in Upstate New York because I was afraid I'd never see him again because of his health. Now they're in Key West Florida where they live during the winter, but he has gotten progressively worse and last week had to go to the hospital. He was there 3 days and then released into a rehab which is more of a convalescent hospital I think. My sister sent me an email a week ago last Friday to tell me what was going on. Then a really weird thing happened as well (she and I agree-weird). My younger sister, who I have written about here- the one who chooses not to communicate with anyone; with me she doesn't answer the phone, emails, facebook private msg...nothing. I stopped trying. I've worked hard on acceptance around it. That's her choice and her life. I was getting pretty angry though when she blew off my daughter- backing out of coming to her Christmas party (that my daughter was so proud to be having in her beautiful home- a family party), and then again when I was up there last summer and we bought a bunch of food for a family bbq and she backed out the nite before. Then when sister and I had an disagreement over my mother's ashes she mailed them to my daughter instead of driving 15 minutes over to her house to deliver them. Really?? At least they are there, and when I go up there, probably in August I will take them and spread the ashes in Yosemite as she asked. So sister won't go anywhere or communicate with the outside world. I heard from my niece that she got laid off her job a few months ago- so why couldn't she take the ashes to Yosemite? Or to my daughter??? Yeah anyway I will take care of it. So back to the story- Little sister happened to email big sister right when this was happening- Barry my brother in law needing to go to the hospital. So big sister wrote back to little sister and gave her a quick synopsis of what was going on (Yeah more resentment here: last summer I emailed little sister to say I was very worried about Barry and wanted to go visit, and did she want to come with me- no reply-yeah she just didn't bother to reply. Nothing to me- I went alone and had an awesome time with them) OK so she receives the email...calls the airlibe and buys a ticket and calls big sister to say she's on her way. Wow- did I say wow? How weird was that? Suddenly she all into family? Ok enough sarcasm for now.

I am really happy and grateful that she responded in that way. That she just went. My sister is so happy to have her there. Little sister said you take care of Barry and I'll take care of you. Big sister needs the support, someone to lean on- I am very glad she's there. I am still here. Little sister will go home after 2 weeks, and she has now been there for one. A couple of things- I was happy for big and little sisters to have some one on one time together. I also want to be able to be there for big sister when little sister goes home so she's not alone in this. I have spoken with little sister a few times during the week. I want to get both of their perspectives. Little sister and I agreed if she tells me "come" I will buy a ticket and go no questions asked. Meaning if in her judgement Barry is taking a turn for the worse, I need to get out there. As my daughter told me, I need to get together with little sister in slid support for big sister and for Barry. I agree. I haven't talked to her about my personal life, only about big sister and the Bear (we call him the Bear). We tell each other we love each other but I have learned (and hopefully won't forget) that with her love does not mean friendship or communication, and I expect once this is over she will go back to not interacting with me- and I will not make that assumption only to be hurt again. We have a shared past, but not a shared present and I cannot speak to the future. If I need to go before she leaves I will do that with no problem and will be happy to see her, but with no expectation.

I kinda suspect the "come" call is coming. Today was the first day he didn't have interest in eating. Up to now, even though he is very weak, and having trouble making words, making connection, doing anything physical, he has still been eating good. Even though he's had to be fed- he still ate everything placed in front of him. Both big sister and I have been using that as a measuring stick for how he's doing. Big sister was kinda more worried about him tonite and was on her way back down to the hospital after dinner to check on him. I wonder if tomorrow she will ask me to come. I told them both that whoever says it, I will come. I was kind of relying on little sister last week because I wasn't sure if big sister was in a little bit of denial, or just hoping against hope for things to turn around, or that maybe he had simply slipped down to a new, lower plateau. But I don't think she is in denial now- she describes it as "fading away". For me...well I saw him in Sept, I spent time with him and I love him- I've known him longer than anyone in my life except my sisters and my brother. And I want to support him, but....I want to be there for my sister. I don't want her to be alone...I want her to know she can say and/or do anything she wants and I am there for her. I know she gets the same unconditional love from little sister, and I want to carry that on. Little sister is not sure if she will leave at the end of 2 weeks. We are all not sure of anything. So as big sister is, I am living it day to day- minute to minute really. So I expect in the next few days...maybe even tomorrow I will be making airline reservations. Damn. I hate this. My sister has been married to him more than 40 years...unlike me who kept trying to get the marriage thing right- she has been with one man all these years. And now at the young age of 62 she must look ahead to a new life. Same as my mom who lost her husband when he was only 59 and she was 58. Your life changes, begins again. And my mom lived another almost 30 years.

My sister has always lived far away from me, Australia, Barcelona, France, then on the east coast. Funny- the year they move back to the United States, I move to Mexico! And back in 1988, I surprised everyone by taking my then 2 year old daughter and moving to southern Calif for a job- and this sister and the Bear, moved to Long Beach (southern Calif) from Australia the SAME WEEK! So weird!! Later that year little sister ALSO moved to southern Calif to be with a boyfriend. Then a year later I could no longer take the smog, the traffic the cement world of southern Calif and moved back to northern Calif (above San Francisco). Then little sister moved back up as well a few months later. Sometime after that big sister and the Bear went to the east coast, bought another sailboat and sailed across the ocean to Barcelona. I don't know where she will land. Their home in Upstate New York is beautiful and the area is amazing. She also has some friends there who are her surrogate family. Very close. In fact that's another shitty thing about all this happening right now. They were getting close to going back to New York when Barry just could not go on. My sister has friends in Florida, close girl friends I think, but the New York friends are friends to both of them. Family. Well we shall see.

Ok here's my serenity corner; like my beach, a place for me to feel safe.

I think I might have posted a picture of this when I first dragged the rocks in from down the road and put Buddha in the corner, but since Poppi has planted flowers and they're starting to come in. The ropes you see hanging down are ropes that I have been dragging up from the beach for the past year whenever I find them. I drape them along the wall on the outside because it looks so ugly...that off dirty white and water stains- the wall itself is old and then anything standing near the beach deteriorates quickly. But as it turns out the ends hanging into my serenity corner look pretty good too! I have a new plan for the outside wall. Everardo is going to paint it white, then I have a friend who is an amazing artist and she's going to paint some pictures on it for me! I want an octopus, a whale, a fish, a crab....in bright colors. She asked me to help her with some computer work for a business they have started up and planned to pay me. I said well how about a trade? And the cool thing was she was really into it!! Ha ha!! So maybe next month I'll be able to afford a couple of quarts of some bright colors and then let the project begin! Yipee.

So I decided to post a couple of shots of me in my work out stuff. The purple is my gift to myself for meeting my year commitment to myself. I laughed to myself because I made a goal so what is my reward to myself?? A hot fudge sundae? ha ha ha Kinda misses the point right? So I happened to be in Target looking for shorts for Everardo when I went up to the states, and I walked past the work out stuff, which was on sale, and thought- HEY! That's the perfect reward! So I bought 3 outfits, purple, orange and blue. The truth is I always wear a tshirt over them like in the other picture, the one with the hat and sunglasses- that's what I wear to dance on the beach and to the free senior stretch class. I am proud of myself and I am still working it. I've lost another 6 pounds I think this month- I'm only 2 pounds away from my original goal of 60 pounds in a year. But as time went by I realized it was not reasonable to think I could lose 5 lbs every single month- but boy i came close! So I don't need to lose the same amount here in year 2, but I hope to learn how to maintain, and really embrace this new healthy lifestyle. I hope to not ever return to the eating and no exercise style I was living that got me so out of shape...and a better candidate for cancer! Because it was me realizing that I needed to take action to stop cancer from coming back that got me into this lifestyle. And yes I can easily stay with it on a trip to Florida, because it is the way I live now...yeah...I like that.

Ok one more picture...one with my love, to sign off with. I hope to write again soon! Viva!

No drinking fountains in Mexico..and the "kids"

The kids are the puppies next door...

Their names are Josie and Rudy. The top photo here is our Hazel and Rudy wrestling. No pics of Josie, but believe me she's here all the time. Sam cares nothing about the puppies, he cares about the ball, about going swimming, about going jogging with Poppi. Josie looks like a german sheppard, she's only about 4 months old but with huge feet- and she's almost as big as Hazel already. I call the puppies the kids.The kids show up in the morning. They paly all day of course- they keep Hazel busy which I think makes Sam happy.

The kids belong to our next door neighbor. She's just lived there for 4 or 5 months, and we're getting to know each other. I think these are her first dogs- she a cat person ha ha. But she loves them and she really loves Hazel. So Hazel just makes herself at home over there- she uses the same dog door as the kids, and even has her own bowl for treats over there. Sam only visits over there if one of us are there, but Hazel is there as much as here, and the kids are pretty much over here off and on all day as well. Everardo is making a green house and we've been making mulch for months; all our egg shells, avocado rinds, the carrot mulch from the juicer we use almost every day....so there's all kinds of smelly goodies out there and Josie likes to "sneak" in, get something and sneak out. It's pretty funny to watch.

I guess I'm writing about all the dogs because they are bringing us neighbors closer together. There's a couple across the road who also have a couple of adult dogs; they don't get to play with our dogs, but we still have pets in common and we chat in the road. I also continue to be grateful to live in a spot where our dogs run free, and I'm also pleased that my closest neighbors are good with dogs as well. I was reading in the community newsletter about somebody being bitten several times by some saint bernards...after walking into a fenced yard. It was in the next town and the fenced yard was a business. He saw at least one of the dogs before he walked in...but in he went. DUH. Someone else wrote that the guy should call the police. I laughed- call the cops for what? He should have never walked thru that gate. But around here the dogs are friendly with each other- although I wouldn't advise walking into someone's fenced yard- my Sam is a big ole friendly lab....but when we're not home....don't try to come in our yard. In the states we had to move our mailbox off the porch to the driveway because for some reason Sam hated uniforms. The mailman was scared to come in the yard- same for UPS, Fed X ha ha.

So I've started year 2 of my quest for a healthier lifestyle. I am exercising 5 days a week, dancing on the beach, a little bit of weights, and my "senior" stretch class. The other day I was rushing to get there- I do at least a half hour of cardio-zumba dancing on the beach- before the class and I was running behind, and I forgot my water bottle. The place they have it doesn't have water- well not bottled water anyway. Even though I call it "senior" stretch, it's still an hour of light cardio, weights and floor work and man did I miss that water. There's no drinking fountains in Mexico. Nobody drinks the water- nobody. You drink bottled water. Some people have pilas- big tanks at their houses that get filled by water trucks, some people have "city water", water coming in thru pipes, but that water is not drinkable. At this house, we have a pila, but it's not drinking water either, so we fill the garrafons...big plastic jugs...too heavy for me to carry around. You can have them delivered, or take them to several places to get them filled, which is what we do. In Petaluma, Calif, the water is so clean you can drink it from the hose...ha ha and here I try to remember not to get any in my mouth when I shower.

But these things simply become a way of life. We also have to take our propane tanks down to get them filled, usually once a month. You can call a truck to deliver propane as well, my neighbor has a huge unmovable tank so the truck delivers to her. We also don't mail anything or receive mail. Oh- well the electric bill gets delivered to our landlord...but I'm not sure if it comes in the mail- in 4 houses in Mexico we've never received a piece of mail. We can go online and see how much our bills are, and pay them at the local store...hey like the "good old days".

So our life is slower here, simple. I like it. But at the same time I'm getting involved in a few things. I go to a meditation group which I think I've mentioned. Teaching English for free, and my class may get much bigger next week. There's an adult education type class down the road from where I teach; it seemed like maybe it was adults who haven't done much school, anyway I went down there last nite with a couple of my current students (ok I only have about 4 right now), to invite them to my class. It ended up with me agreeing to go teach where they are, and have my class following the class they're in now. So I'll teach from 6:30-8pm instead of 5-6:30 on Tue and Thurs. So things change again. I'm also helping this woman set up a reservation schedule for their new fishing business- they take clients out to this island to fish, they have a lodge out there and these fishing boats called pangas. The fishing season is from June-Sept but they are getting reservations right now. So my days are filling up- but none of it is many hours, so I still have my mornings for exercise and conversations with the universe. The beach is getting really nice, although the last couple of days a cool wind has been blowing and the nites have been cold...well...cold for here...like I'm wearing socks to bed ha ha. There have been quite a few sea lions on the beach and the veterinarian knows Everardo's voice now because we always call her when there's one on the beach if they're injured or seem in distress. There was one this morning, a big guy with an injury to his eye, Poppi called, but I did my whole hour of dancing and they hadn't shown up.

There's still a lot more people here than usual this week, and so at least 3 small groups (2 or 3) stopped to look at him, take a picture, but at least they kept their distance- I was grateful for that. To Sam & Hazel the sea lions have lost their attraction- ha ha they're old news, so they don't even bother to go investigate. Last week the beach had alot of people on it- but not too many out in front of us...so we still had our private beach. At the far ends, people poured in and stayed all week thru Easter- but from here you can't even see either end. I only saw 3 or 4 houses around here fill up with renters and thankfully only one nite had fireworks. The town was full up, though, which is really good for the locals. Poppi had to go to about 5 stores to get milk on Monday- all the little local stores I mean- they had milk at the big grocery store, but it's a 15 minute drive minimum and there's lots of little aborrotes around here- but everybody was out of milk ha ha- and I needed it for my protein shake. I think the sea lions are hungry...I know the fisherman with the tuna rings are raping the bay to put all the feeder fish into the rings...but at least around here Profeta has been really good about coming out when there's a sea lion in distress.

Well just a short check in for tonite. Viva

March goes out like a lamb...and weight..and war

Been a busy month:

Ok not by those standards! This is Sam & Hazel watching Old Yeller. Ha ha ok that's just a joke but I posted this pic on facebook and said that. Everardo let them both up on the couch and as we looked for alternate sitting I snapped the pic.

Ok other things that happened in March:

Fields of flowers bloom on the road between Maneadero and Ensenada. I remembered it from last year, and yet was still amazed this year as we drove by. There's several fields in a row and the flowers are so beautiful. And then, in an instant, they're gone. But for a few days when you're driving by it's so pretty, so spring like...makes me think of colored Easter eggs. From here to Ensenada, which I think is about 25 miles all together is agriculture. Fields of asparagus, broccoli, green beans...organic farms that send their produce to the states for Trader Joes and other stores, non organic...there are fruit tress in the hills. The Guadalupe Valley is becoming host to more and more vineyards, I've read articles about it being the "new Napa Valley". That area is not right here, it's north and a little east of Ensenada. But everything grows here. It's funny, the "good looking" product goes to the states and the crappier stuff stays here. The grocery stores carry alot of fruit- apples mostly I think- from the states, but it's the pieces with bad spots on them. You can tell the fruits from the states because they have the little scanner stickers on them. Gotta wash those as well, right?

Ok, another thing happening in this area and up the southern Calif coast is that dead sea lions are washing up on the beaches, more than usual. Also baby seals, and actually this morning as I danced down there on the beach a baby seal came up out of the water. He seemed exhausted. For the baby seals, the news has reported causes including the momma seals having to travel farther to find food for their pups and the pups get lost. Some people blame the warmer waters for less bait type fish, but here at least in this bay, the boats that sweep thru with their huge nets taking all the bait fish and putting in the tuna rings out at the mouth of the bay is raping our waters here and I read it will take at least 50 years for the bay to recover.

So this baby seal seemed tired out. Probably hungry and lost. I stopped dancing and called the marine Veterinarian who works with Profeta (the Gov't group who take care of the marine life along the beaches). She gave us her direct line last summer when we tried to help Bob the Sea Lion. Anyway Everardo was just coming out of the water from a swim with Sam, so I handed him the phone and he told her about the baby seal I saw. A couple who had jogged by had also stopped to see him, and I saw the man walking back towards us. He told me his wife went back to their place to get some of the fish their son had just caught to give to the baby seal. I told him I had called the vet and that she said they were on their way- but this is Mexico- sometimes on the way means just that, and sometimes it means something else. Well the guy said he's wait for them, and we talked and said maybe if the little guy ate some fish he'd take himself back into the water. I'm not sure how it all worked out because I came up to take a shower and make my protein shake, and so an hour later when I went out and looked, everyone (people and seal) were gone. Hopefully the pup ate and swam away, but if the vet cared for him, that's good, too. The guy said they were here for the week, so maybe I'll see him again tomorrow morning and can find out the end of the story. However it ended- it was good.

For the sea lions, I have only seen large adults wash up, and although some of it is those same fishermen, killing them in competition for the bait fish, and sometimes it's being hit by propellers. The same issues with the warmer waters would apply, although where we were down south, the water was always warm and there's lots of types of fish, but do they migrate up here? I don't know. Anyway last week my husband was down on the beach burying a couple of large sea lions because although Profeta tries, they have just had so many this year, and while we wait for them....if days go by, hot days.....well the smell might just kill ya. Everardo said that technically the public is not allowed to bury them....but he waited until late afternoon and did the deed. Our dogs and the puppies next door went down to watch...

Well tax time is coming and we are very lucky to have friends who come down to northern Baja every year, so they brought them down here for us to sign like they did last year. They come with a group Amor Ministries, who build houses for people in need. About 6 or 7 years ago, before we moved here, I came down with them one spring with my younger daughter for a week and we helped build 2 houses. One family was living in a car, the other in basically a cardboard house. We camped nearby and worked for 4 days and built 2 small, 2 room houses. The experience is amazing....much more than you can imagine. I recommend it to anyone, especially kids who have trouble imagining how hard others may have it. It was quite moving for me as well. So when we drove up to Tecate to see them the other day, we stayed a few hours to work with them. For next year we hope to be part of the plan, the team, and work with them the entire week. Here's a couple of pics from that:

Ok the person hugging with the puppy is me. He was sooo tiny- he belonged to the family they were building the house for. I didn't work as hard as Everardo, who helped with the nailing of the chicken wire to the tar paper prior to the stucco application, put in windows, etc, while I did a little hammering, but a lot of chatting with the other team members, a couple of who had been there the year my daughter and I came, and some on their first trip. They asked alot of questions about how it was living in Mexico, and moving around like we did.

Ok so I did not start my part time job....we shall see if it turns into anything, but so funny - I got offered a couple of other part time jobs! Man when it rains it pours! None of it is right this minute, and at least one will probably be on more of a project basis- I actually put together some info on a spreadsheet for someone and made a few pesos...but what's nice is that I have options, all of them good ha ha- all are part time offers which is all I'm looking for.

This has been month 11 of 12 for my healthy lifestyle change. How many months does it take to make a habit? I think I have created good (healthy) habits about exercise & food. Last nite I wanted a snack and the idea of a crisp green apple (granny smith) made my mouth water. Yipee. I am pretty proud of myself for making the commitment to myself, and then keeping it. And tomorrow is the last day of year 1. So tomorrow I make a new commitment. I am going to commit to another year. Another year of exercise and healthy eating. One benefit of this commitment I plan to work towards is losing another 30 lbs. As of last week I was on 50 lbs, and my last official weigh in for the year will be tomorrow. So it may be another pound or two....whatever it is I will accept, be happy, and start again. I wanted to write about it today so that no matter what the scale says tomorrow I will have said I am proud of myself. The truth is I have this fear that I won't be able to lose any more weight, that I will stay as I am now. Yes- I have done good- amazing actually. I accomplished this weight loss, this better shape, able to breathe, to move so much better than a year ago right now, by a steady process of consistent exercise and consistently healthy food choices. Ha ha when I started this I wasn't that good...I exercised a couple of days a week, I made poor food choices on weekends...but somewhere along the line I began to change.

I hurt my foot during the summer- pretty sure I broke my baby toe, but I kept on exercising. I went to visit my sister and brother in law in Sept, but kept up the exercise and food choices. In fact I made up a dance to one song because I was in Upstate New York and it was freezing in the morning! Ha ha! It involves alot of arm swinging...front to back with arms bent which really gets your heart rate going. The fact is I was trying to warm up. So it's a good one for me now as I try to do a workout that goes high intensity, then low, then high...etc. (I've been reading so much about how that's the best way to work out). So it's a great cardio song/dance which I can follow with a rock n roll song or something by Diana Ross & the Supremes...Yes my music is zumba from Mexico mixed with  70's (& earlier) rock n roll- some of which is the "take it easier" songs and some- like Stevie Ray Vaughn keeps the cardio up. But whenever the song from NY comes on I think of my sister and the Bear (that's what we call him)...so I like it alot. Ha ha I'm actually thinking of putting on my New York teeshirt and making a video of me dancing to that song to send to them...hey I could be a utube phenomena! ar ar ar ar...ok maybe now. I gave myself Thanksgiving Day off, but I actually practiced a little restraint. Oh I tried everything...and to stop myself I took a walk after eating. It was cold outside (ok cold for here, which meant I wore a sweater ha ha)...but I walked anyway.

But that damn fear has snuck in. I tried to figure it out, and roughly it's been about 25 years since I've been the weight I am making my new goal. I know I was happy with myself when I hit it- I had this purple skirt that fit just right- yeah purple, right? But not right purple, a darker  shade and I wore some kind of business jacket and nice blouse and looked very professional at work, but I still remember I felt like I had my own little secret about being happy about how I looked. Then I met my ex husband who was/is an amazing cook, got pregnant...well I just never made it back. I have been this weight, where I am right now. And it's not bad...not terrible....but it's not good. Ok truth- I'm wearing size 12. To me that's still pretty huge. Acceptable...but  I know I can do better. However, if I stay at this size, even with eating smart and exercising, then I will re-evaluate. I will be healthy, I will not allow cancer back into my body if there's anything I can do about it. And the number one thing I can do is be healthy. You know I can't believe a year has gone by. And I have changed in this year. Alot.

I believe I am changing for a few reasons. Of course we are always changing, it's the nature of life...learning growing. Hmmm let's see The more I grow the more I realize I don't know. The more I realize I don't know, the more open I am to learn. The more I learn...the more I grow. Yeah- that's it. I think the combination of my continued walk on a spiritual path as a part of AA,  joining the meditation group, and the way I feel as a result of better living (exercise and food) is all part of it. And the whole thing about how exercise creates the endorphins which make you feel better. It's like a never ending cycle..in a good way, I feel better so I keep doing things that make me feel better. I feel so connected to life, so others, to the world, to the earth, the universe..to it all.

I have little patience now for the chaotic insanity I see happening....the US is such a mess...I don't know any more if it can be fixed. The greed for power- which results in continual war, struggling people in a bountiful country...a few super rich and then everyone else. I am still going to vote, but no more voting democrat in the big races because I felt voting  green was giving votes to the republican party. I will vote green because they follow my beliefs. I know what I am about. I know I am against killing, I am against war. Do I know the solutions? No, but I no longer need a solution to identify a problem. It doesn't matter that I don't think we will ever stop killing each other. And I mean this about the whole world. What I like however is that there really are so many people trying to do the right thing, to help each other, to help the world, that there are so many people connecting wanting positive results for us as a people, wanting to save our planet. Will they ever out weigh the greed, the power mongers, the Monsantos, The Cheneys? Sadly maybe not...maybe even probably not. Will we figure out another planet before this one goes belly up? I don't know the answers to any of these questions. I always like the saying: Think globally act locally. But for me, now, it's even closer than that. It's how I behave right now. In this moment. Maybe my creating positive energy helps....just a little. I am happy with the people, the kind of people I have around me now. I feel like I am attracting positive, real people, and that's what I want in my life.

Ok feels like enough. I guess I had alot in my head that needed to get out. Right this minute hubby needs my hands to help with his project of making a screen door for a funny sized, bent out of shape slider opening. So for now: Viva!

A seal came up to watch me dance on the beach

This is Bob the Sea Lion...

Ok well this was actually last summer, and I wrote about Bob. He was on the beach and really sick. I sat with him for 4 days and on day 5 he went back to the ocean. The pictures with Hazel were when Bob was not feeling well; and both my dogs (Sam the lab & Hazel) were very careful around him, very quiet, and sat next to him. Hazel and Bob communicated nose to nose. Sam came over to sniff and then lay down next to Bob.

Somehow they knew that Bob was sick. A lady I met on the beach and I sat with Bob all week. On day 2 the marine veterinarian for the beaches came out and gave Bob 2 shots.

And on Friday Bob went back into the ocean.

Ok fast forward to today. I was dancing on the beach- the weather is fabulous right now, warm with clear blue skies, and I was feeling very positive because Tuesday I weighed myself and had lost 2 more lbs! Yep I'm up to 48 pound lost. I'm hoping to make 50 by March 31. I was also feeling great because I was on my way to talk about a part time job after I exercised- which is why I was dancing for an hour on the beach this morning and not rushing off to the "senior stretch" class after a half hour of dance...Anyway! The tide was out and I had lots of flat sand to dance on so I was jumping all over the place. I always face the water, I am so lucky (!), I can exercise and watch pelicans fly over me, watch the waves lapping the shore, sometimes dolphins are going by. This morning, I looked over to my right, and there was a big seal sitting at the edge of the shore! He was really big- in fact I'm not sure he was not a sea lion, hey- maybe it was Bob!! So I danced over a few feet so I was right in front of him; he can't hear the music since I was wearing headphones, and I didn't get right in his face, so he didn't leave.

(With Bob, I sat next to him for hours before I touched him. I talked to him and he got used to me being there. Then we pet him and poured water on him. When the vet came she warned us not to get to close, that he could be dangerous- I laughed and said he was my friend. She saw how calm he was with us....we told her we were not leaving him....and she didn't warn us anymore)

Well I have this belt clip for my Iphone which I have only used a couple of times because I usually wear these old shorts when I dance on the beach and put it in the pocket....but today I wore actual workout clothes so needed the clip. Ok so I took the phone off my hip and tried to take a picture with the sun behind me and thought I couldn't see anything because of the glare. So I just kept snapping ha ha- as it turned out that clip has a solid back...so the camera was not taking the picture. Uhhhh DUH what a dope I am! I was even thinking about posting the photo here to show what amazing days I've been having this week. ha ha poor me. And the seal...(or Bob) slowly turned and went back into the ocean. I went back to exercising and danced a little longer than usual to make up the time.

So it looks like I got a part time job starting next week! Yipee...I don't know which 4 hours a day I'll work but I'll have to schedule my workouts around it. Since I've been doing it almost a year I'm confident that I will find a way to make it work. In the beginning I had to stayed really structured to make sure I did it every day. But now, I look forward to my workout, my day always goes so much better when I start it with a workout. I may have to get up a little earlier....and that may be just for a while until I get the hang of the workload. Get the feel of it. I can actually work from home since it's online and telephone mostly, but the office is the same place where I teach English, and probly at first I'll want to be there- to avoid panic mode ha ha. It's working for a company that takes people on these awesome fishing trips on this island off the Baja coast south of here. Once I am working maybe I'll tell the company name and hey- encourage readers here to check it out if they like to fish, right? But I think I should wait. Anyway I will be managing the reservations, customer service type stuff...more on this later.

Ok so a couple of days ago I had such an amazing day. First thing was I had lost 2 more lbs- aha so it must have been Tuesday...an "offical" weigh day ha ha. Then I called HR Block to see about my taxes and she told me I was getting a refund! WOW I haven't gotten a refund in about 100 years! (ok maybe not that long). The weird thing is it has to do with Obamacare. Because I told them what my income would be for 2014...which was only the rental income from the Petaluma house...I was eligible for the credit, but they said since I actually made less than I stated, that they made my premiums to high so I was getting a refund. What?? The weird- or uncomfortable part- is that the way I understand it is I now have a huge monthly payment, but I get the credit so I only pay a small amount. However- the gov't pays the fucking insurance companies/drug manufacturers the difference! This has been my problem with it since it started last year. I don't like it- the insurance co/drug mfgrs are still raping the country! I know I've ranted about this before here....once we moved to Mexico and I saw how cheap medical care is! How cheap medicine is! That's when I realized the whole healthcare system in the states was screwed up. I was happy they were trying to change it. I don't like how it is now, but at least it's a start. Wow here I am off on a rant again...ok back to the good stuff!

So, weight loss, tax refund, then a call with our friend down south and she says the people are still interested in the Playa Ventura house; they're just involved in something right now and expect to come back around the 1st of April. So there's hope the darn house will sell. So pretty good day, eh? Well I was thinking about it, and the day before, I kinda let go of a resentment I was carrying around, and maybe I freed myself up to receive some positive energy. You know what? I just wrote a big long thing about what the resentment was....it's a long story and not worth repeating. Anyway the end of the story is my sister was supposed to send my mom's ashes to my daughter Drew so when I go up there I can take them to Yosemite to spread them. (my mom died in 2011) I have been upset about it. But I suddenly realized: I have a very small amount of my mom's ashes. I decorated a little jar with sane and shells and she sits nearby. I just wanted her near me...but the truth is (for me) that my mom is with me as long as I keep her in my heart, as long as I think of her every time I see a full moon, every time I look at my arm where I have a tattoo of a penguin with her name under it and her funny saying of "oh well", as long as Everardo and I talk about her, when he brings up how whenever she got ill and the paramedics or firemen had to come transport her to the hospital she would flirt with them. So the fact is, I have ashes to take to Yosemite. I don't have to fight with my sister, I know my mom wouldn't like that anyway. The relief is huge.

Oh in case you read my previous post, my daughter figured out her issues and their lives are back on track. Ha ha and no news on the younger daughter front. I love her and always wish she is happy. Ok so life is good. That's why I wanted to post this evening. Looks like things are gonna change a little, I'm both excited and not about working ha ha. I've read about 8 books in the last month...the weather if getting really nice so my hammock is starting to make little noises to get my attention. I took a small corner in our tiny yard and put my big Buddha statue in it and dragged some really nice huge rocks from down the road, and some pretty pots that we have nothing growing in right now and made a little serenity spot. Life is good, change is good, Mexico is really good! Viva