Suicide squirrels and life on the spit road

The spit road out to our place...I missed the suicide squirrel...twice.

I mean I missed taking a picture of the suicide squirrel. I missed it the other day as well. Last week I thought I hit one- but I saw nothing in the rear view window and there was nothing in the road on my way back. Luckily I saw the snake and swerved out of the way...then I jumped out and took his picture. Even though he had no rattles on his tail, or amazing colored stripes that would have made me think he was poisonous, as he curled tighter....I jumped back in the car! That sucker moved pretty fast - not as fast as the suicide squirrels though. They just crack me up. They are skinny squirrels; not the chubby, bushy tailed type you think of when talking about squirrels. They live in holes in the ground around the estuary...and I swear to God they wait until a car is coming before they run across the road. I'm sure they cross all the time, but I swear I never see on in the distance...always right in front of me...hence the name I gave them "suicide squirrels". I guess I should call them dare devil squirrels since they seem to always make it.

The spit road is so pretty; I try sometimes to remember to drive it slowly and look around. Sometimes there's goats with the horses, and they are so funny! They climb up on the little shed in their pen. They run around and jump- and I think they egg the horses on because these horses are pretty humorous themselves. They play some kind of neck fighting with each other over a fence...they chase each other, and sometimes they just roll on the ground. This side of the road with the animals and the houses is the beach side. The houses you see in the photo- well there's a dirt road on the other side of the houses, then another house, then the beach. We live much further up the road, and we live on the beach side...but there's no houses across from us so we can see the estuary - like in the last 2 photos, a big field, the road, a big field then the water. We walk the dogs out there when we're not walking them on the beach, and Hazel runs around at 60 miles an hour the entire time. Actually, recently she caught a squirrel- twice! That's how fast she is. I told Everardo not to let her do that- not just for the poor squirrels, but that they probly carry diseases, maybe even rabies...and I don't want our baby girl getting sick. Not to meantion- YUCK...bloodthirsty little monster, right? No she's our sweet baby girl.

So here's a couple pics of interesting things we've found out walking"

 

Yesterday morning when I looked outside to check the weather, the tide, I saw 2 dolphins swimming. One was sort of floating and the other was coming up to the surface and then diving back in. I was so happy to see them! I think maybe they leave for the winter, so it was nice to see them back, and I'm hoping it's a sure sign that summer is upon us! The pelicans are back as well! I look outside on week day mornings to check the tide. If it's out, then there's enough beach to dance for my morning exercise. I like the sand closest to the water; it's the hardest- otherwise it's really hard to zumba dance or rock and roll get down dance (ha ha) in the soft sand, and I want to get the best cardio out of it that I can. So I look every morning, and if the tide is in, then I have to dance out in front of the house, in front of the dirt road- facing the estuary...so no matter what I have a beautiful view when I am out there huffin and puffin :)

Lately I've been going to a free stretch class 3 days a week after my beach workout.  It's about a 6 or 7 minute drive...and only that long because the last 800 meters of the road out to the main road is not just dirt, but jagged dirt, pot holes, and chunks. But after that it's about 2 minutes and here's what I drive past:

I love where we live right now. It's always interesting ha ha. Where we are, way down the road, there's lots of empty houses. There was some kind of big thing that happened here about 15 years ago; it has to do with the whole ejido thing. The ejido land is when the government gave land to a family way back when. Now, at least in this area, big plots of ejido land was made into these "camps" and people could buy or lease land, and build houses on it. The problem with that is.....even if you "bought" the land, the ejido can take it back. Do I understand it? Or why? No I do not, but I know for sure I would never buy ejido land or build a house on it. In this camp, I guess the family tried to extort money from the home owners (leased or purchased land) and in the end got the military (so the government) to evict people. Well many of them sabotaged the houses- if they had to walk away from them, at least the ejido wouldn't be able to sell or even rent them. Concrete down the pipes, things like that. The house next to us was ruined in that fashion so nobody will ever live there. So we are not a crowded camp, I like that. OK so now talk about karma. I have heard that the camp owner has been trying for the last few years to get some kind of permits to build things here- like new houses, maybe a fitness resort...ways to get people to come down and invest and/or buy. But the local gov't won't issues him any of the permits, so he is stuck renting the places that are not too messed up for as much as he can. The workers are trying to get another house right near us ready to rent, but they worked on it all summer, and now are working on it again- but I did hear that house is going to rented to some people on vacation so I guess it wouldn't have to be perfect. And of course there's no building codes or anything here, so leaky roof? no problem, no electricity? no problem...etc.

The peso continues to fall- this is not good for us trying to sell the Guerrero house. But at this point if someone wanted it, we'd sell pretty cheap. Just want to get out from under it. But all I can do is keep putting it out to the universe and letting it go. That's a hard one for me- letting go. Ha ha unfortunately for me I am always getting opportunities to practice though! My older daughter is going thru something right now that has her relationship under pressure. She is struggling. I can do nothing- and I want to do something! I want so badly for her to be happy, for her life to be perfect. Yeah I know that sounds silly, right? But that's all a parent wants- is for their children to be happy, healthy, safe. She is a strong young woman, and I know she'll be ok, but I hate for her to have to go thru things. I told her I'd be there in a second if she needs me- and I will. But she's taking care of herself. I need to trust, in her, in my own spirituality, in the universe. I mean this is the kid who was shot in the head, right? And then the miracles started, and she's fine, she's perfect. So I have to be content to be her sounding board, to be available, to support her in any decision she makes. = letting go. 

The lessons continue. My younger daughter and I are in the same place as this time last year. I looked at my blog for this time last year. I had been writing, commiserating that I had no relationship with her. But then I had written her and she actually replied after months of nothing. I wrote about how happy I was; that we were going to have a relationship...ha ha ha ha. She was struggling, with school and in a huge power struggle with her dad's wife, and so reached out to me. I was so happy and ready to help. The problem was (is), that once she didn't need me anymore...she stopped communicating with me again, and when I asked for the things she was going to do....she got resentful and we are back to zero relationship. How many times do I let my own heart to break? Because at this point it is on me. I know how she is...and is it because she's young? I hope so, it seems that way. Talking to other mom, age 21 is selfish selfish selfish oh and self centered. She barely replies to her sister either. I miss her terribly, but I know the only way to have a relationship with her is total acceptance, letting go. At this moment I am still upset with her, so cannot let go...yet. Yes also my fault. But she has a box of Christmas decorations & ornaments that I gave her before we left for Mexico. (sorry if I already wrote this). I asked her to please take them from her dad's house- and since she doesn't care about them, then please please give them to her sister. They matter to me. Some of it is stuff from my side of the family, and my mom and dad are gone, my family is very small, and those things were for her to start her own family traditions, and I'm sure her dad would give her some things and then over the years she'll add to it. Maybe a 21 year old can't see that it matters, but I continually bugged her over a few months to get the stuff and bring it to her place (why didn't she take it when she moved out last June?...Oh mom I'll get it before Christmas). So yeah, I'm still upset. I also completely screwed up my relationship with her dad and his wife by being mean in email to his wife. I know I wrote about this before because I regret it so much. But I was full of being my daughter's hero- when really she just wanted her way. I know she is not responsible for my mean-ness, but she didn't even acknowledge that I got into that mess trying to help her. Just a little, sorry that all happened mom...but no- she just blew it all off- "not my problem". Yeah as you can plainly see I am still resentful about this. So more opportunity for letting go. I want a relationship with her- she's my kid, but for now, well if she contacts me I will be happy, but I'm not doing the reaching out this time. I do hope however that she gets closer to her sister, who really wants to be close with her, but is seeing the same selfish-ness as I do...Luckily Drewy has a couple of really good friends she's known since high school and before, and they are there to support her, hug her, and listen to her. For that I am so grateful.

So writing that made me feel better. I love both my daughters, warts and all. With the younger one I simply have to have zero expectations and act accordingly, at least until something changes. With the older one, I try to be sure to be in cell service area around the times I know she usually calls me while she is going thru this. She and I talk several times a week, but in the last couple of weeks, almost every day. I probly won't go up there until summer, maybe late summer...and who knows what will happen between then and now. Oh almost forgot! I was offered a job last Sunday...but I turned it down. Yes of course money is nice- we could sure use some. But it was to manage a restaurant, and the hours were noon to 9pm or longer...They said I could start at just 3 days a week, and that once I understood the restaurant there was some event planning with their bed & breakfast where I could earn 10% of the event. But the restaurant is really slow....sounded kinda boring, and really the main thing was- I like my life right now...and working those hours would suck. I am in month 12 of a 12 month commitment I made to myself about health- exercise and eating. I like what I'm doing. So I thought about it, came home and talked to Everardo about it, and decided to pass. If I really want to work, my new neighbor showed me some websites where you can find online work. I looked at them, but did not bid on anything, I was a little intimidated....haven't done anything like that before- but if I decided I really want to do something- I'll go back to her and see if she can help me out with it a little. It's funny- then I worried that I had put it out to the universe that I wanted to make some money and an opportunity came up, but I passed- Uh oh will I get another opportunity? Yes that was part of my thought process...fear. But maybe what I need to do is be a little more specific (ha ha) in what I put out there, you know? When I woke up the morning after deciding to pass on the job, I felt relief- so that was a huge positive sign to me. 

So I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Like I said, this is the last month of my year commitment to myself. I am pretty proud of myself- I've stuck to this. It has become my way of life; exercising and eating smart. I've lost 46 pounds as of yesterday. It's only the 7th of the month so I have a chance of losing a couple of more pounds by month end. Then I'll make another commitment to myself. Writing twice a week in a notebook-on my "official weigh days" has helped alot. I just read yet another article in Yahoo news about weight and cancer. In fact this article said obesity will be the number 1 cause of cancer in a few years. So I know I am on the right path. Today at the noon AA meeting in Ensenada, a woman I hadn't seen for a few weeks said- wow you lots alot of weight- you look great! Yippee that felt great! Honestly thought, I think I need to lose another 25 or 30 pounds. I'm not sure, I am close to a place I have not been below in 25 years. Yeah I figured that out in my health journal because I'm trying to figure out what to commit to for the next year. But maybe I'll say 30 and then I can modify if/when need be. I mean I had 60lbs for a goal when I started this, and I am not making that- but it turned out not to be a reasonable goal, so I can modify when or if I need to. Let me see if I can find a before and now pic- sorry next time- I can't find anything right now. Actually I think I have something from right before I started this and I'll take one at the end of this month. Dinner time....mmmm talapia (whitefish) and black beans.....ok viva!

Feeling so good today

Pictures from a really fun day....

These pictures are from Michoacan during the Day of the Dead celebrations back in November. I posted them today because the day we took these pictures I had so much fun and was so happy- in that light airy, kinda blissful way. We stayed in a small hotel in the old downtown area, and these displays were in walking distance of us. Actually that Sunday morning we set out walking and ended up renting bicycles on the wide main street and that's when we found this park lined with these Day of the Dead altars. We returned the bikes and then walked back down to take a look. (as it turns out they close the main street every Sunday and people jog, walk, and ride bikes in the street- really nice-so happy we were there on the weekend!)

The first photo; the one with me getting my face made up was actually in the nearby town of Patzcuaro- they were having a small festival and also had altars and food stalls, and as you can see- a\make up booth which I just couldn't pass by. Back in Michoacan there were lots of people with not only face make up, but wearing costumes, but I did get lots of thumbs ups and kids pointing at me ha ha.

The altars were beautiful, touching really. Some had themes, many were honoring family members, and all so detailed. We oohed and awed for a few hours, walking along visiting each one. Later we sat in a sidewalk cafe along the plaza and had coffee and snacks. It was a beautiful day and we were enjoying each other's company; Everardo was so happy to be seeing his family- we saw his brother and his sister and nephews and neices, we went out to the cemetary in the tiny village where his mother is buried, we brought flowers and I watched him so lovingly put the flowers around her grave. His brother and I stood arm in arm and Pablo talked to me about his son who passed away just about a year ago right now, and we took flowers to a beautiful little cemetary in the mountains the next day to honor him. It was a wonderful trip to see his family.

This morning I woke up feeling so happy! I was smiling when I woke up! I had just been dreaming that Everardo and I were camping, in our sleeping bags by the fire, laughing, and he had this really long curly gray hair! Ha ha he looked so cute with all that hair. I figured out later this morning that it must have been because of this silly show we watched last nite about these people in the Colorado mountains mining for aquamarine...some of them were these old gray haired geezers and we were cracking up. I mean they got reality shows for everything!

But I was also feeling good about my class. Last nite it was awesome! I had 4 students; 3 women and 1 man....they seem to be my regulars. There's actually one more woman and her 12 year old son who usually always come as well but they weren't there last nite. But class just seems to fly by! Everardo cut the remaining piece of whiteboard in half that we had in the shed so I could handle it more easily and it was perfect. I taped the photos I had from my old class of breakfast foods; steak and eggs, eggs and bacon, pancakes, waffles. french toast with strawberries...syrup, eggs cooked sunny side up, scrambled, over easy, etc. I made more copies of the little menu I made and was off to school. I meant for the entire evening to be about the restaurant, servers, cooking, ordering, etc., but we got off on talking about my/mine/me and you/your/yours for almost an hour! But that's what's so cool about the class. I start with something and then I let the students questions/interests guide the class. The last half hour we looked at the breakfast photos and talked about what the different things were. I wrote the names of things on the board, they were busy writing them in their notebooks- and then class was over- so I told them to take their menus home and notice the words they wrote down were on the menus, and that Wednesday we'd "play" restaurant. They all really enjoyed it! This group really wants to learn and I gotta think up some more situations, like grocery shopping or a day at the beach..or having each tell me what they do in a day...using Spanish where they need to, and then our work is to translate into English. Yeah if you can tell I am very enthusiastic about this! I am helping people who want to learn! I always feel good when I walk out the classroom door at the end of the nite! And you know what? It suddenly is not so important for me to be learning as much Spanish as they are English! They are there to learn- not to teach. I am there to teach, to help. Yes I will learn as I go, but I'm no longer obsessing over it. That's a relief.... and even another reason to be feeling good!

I saw this kid (about 30 yrs old) this morning on the news; he had been wrongly convicted of murder when he was 19, and spent 10 years in prison and on his last appeal was exonerated. He said he stayed mad for years in prison, and then started to take care of himself. He started working out and eating better. Yes some was for survival, but it was also because in some way he realized he needed to make the best of it for himself. He started writing and now it's a published book about his experience. The name is something like, Faster, Better, Smarter...not sure I need to google it. But he went thru a psychic change....and started taking care of himself. After that I went down to the beach for my workout- the tide was out so I could dance down there (lately it's been in during the morning so I've had to dance in front of the house). Anyway the sky was such a bright blue and the clouds a puffy white. Now the wind is blowing really hard, but this morning just a hint of a breeze. The dogs were with me and the 2 puppies next door came down to play as well. I thought about how lucky I am! How grateful I am for every bit of my life! I was full of energy and I danced my ass off ha ha! Then I went down to the free senior stretch class to finish it off and I bounced thru that as well.

I am just so lucky. I live on a beautiful beach with my wonderful husband and 2 crazy doggies. I exercise on that beach 5 days a week, and am eating smart. (as soon as I finish writing this I'm making my crab salad) I am talking to my amazing daughter Drew almost every day. I am SO proud of her and my soon to be son in law (now more than ever as they work thru some tough stuff). I am sober- hit 14 years last week, and get to help a woman navigate the 12 steps for herself. I'm in a meditation group for the first time and really learning to center myself...it helps alot!  I get to teach English to some adults who want to learn- and got the classroom space, the tables and chairs all for free! Who's life is better than mine? Thank you universe for my life! Just wanted to share all this! :)

Hot springs & mud bath

More mud and less hot springs I think

There are a couple of different places for one to go with hot springs here in northern Baja, including down the beach right here where we live. People bring shovels down to the beach and dig holes that fill up with hot water- hot, not just warm. It's up at the end by the main road, right next to where we lived the first three months we were here.

But the place in these photos is about 40 minutes east, in the mountains. There's another place a little more north and then east again. In fact someone said that the water from this place comes from the Colorado river- so it must at some point go underground and pass thru the lava? Or the hot spring? I mean I thought "hot spring" meant the water originated right there....hmmmm so not sure. Anyway I went with 5 or 6 women out there this past Thursday, for a women's retreat day. We were all alcoholics in recovery, and while the coals were heating up we had a small AA meeting- more of just a check in- we all shared a little bit about how we were feeling- and to be out there, in nature, in such a pretty spot, with other women trying to contribute to life in a positive way- well everybody was feeling pretty good. Oh and it happened to be my sobriety anniversary- 14 years. Yep I've been on recovery for 4 years. In some ways it has flown by. I will say this. I am SO grateful to be an alcoholic!

Does that sound funny? Who would be grateful to have a drinking problem, right? Well for me, coming into AA was the best thing I ever did. For me, it's really not about not drinking- it's about finding a spiritual path. I didn't know that of course when I got there- I was just trying to stop hurting the people I loved, including myself, and to figure out why- when I had everything a person could want (family, a job, a house, stuff, etc) I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy deep down inside. I mean I loved my kids more than life itself, I loved my husband and the rest of my family, but when I was alone with myself, my thoughts...I just couldn't find it. Anyway, the 12 steps of AA were- and are a guideline for me, helped me find a way to self respect, to self love, to admitting, accepting that I am part of something bigger than me. You know I think when the people around me as I was a teenager and a young adult were learning those things, learning solutions, beginning to see how we are all connected in life....I was partying, getting drunk and doing drugs and not paying attention to anything else. And it was one stop shopping- alcohol was my solution to everything- mad- get drunk, happy, have a few drinks to celebrate, sad, jealous, scared, whatever, drink and it all felt better. Liquid courage...I drank and felt pretty, thought I could dance....thought guys liked me...felt "good enough". When did I cross the line? I don't know. I mean I had good jobs thru the years; got to travel all over the world. I bought my first house by myself,  I was married for 15 years to a great guy, so in many ways I've had an awesome life. But little by little my love affair with alcohol started to erode the good parts of my life. And the thing is- if it hadn't gotten bad enough, I might not have finally (FINALLY) looked for help. To find out there were lots of people struggling like me! People who were nothing like me but struggling with the same issue of an addiction. It truly does take a village, right?

 I was thinking of my next tattoo to say "It takes a village"....because I think it applies to everything. Raise a child, find a spiritual path, I have come to the realization that we are all connected, and it's ok that I don't know how, or even why. I believe that I am connected to all living things, not just people, but trees and animals, the wind, the sun...everything. And I want to contribute in a positive way. When I do that, my day always goes good. I'm usually happy every day, and I have a serenity today. Oh and as far as tattoos go- on the inside of my right arm, above the elbow I have the word acceptance, and then under it, esperanza (hope in Spanish). I'm going to add forgiveness. Can't see them under all that mud in the pics right? ha ha

OK so enough of my grateful to be an alcoholic. The hot springs were so pretty and peaceful. We went on a week day because one of the women goes up there fairly often and said on the weekend it's packed. There were just a few other people there. So there was one really big hot pool and another one same size but the water was merely warm. The problem when we first arrived was that the hot pool was empty!!! A guy was scrubbing it with a long handled broom. We were very disappointed- I mean it wasn't all that warm outside, well everyone but me was in shorts and flip flops but we looked for a spot that had sun and shade. I was wearing levis but had my swimsuit with me- but wondering if I needed it. But the guy said- oh we're going to fill it right now (in Spanish of course). We tsk tsked it, but started setting up our spot- everybody brought something so we had a potluck, with burgers to bbq and several salads- potatoe, macaroni, fruit, greek....and for me? Well I brought the charcoal but I also brought my own little bag of food so I could stay with my health program......I brought apples, hard boiled eggs, bananas, string cheese, some veggie chips, etc and it was more than enough.

So there was also a couple of other smaller pools that were warm, so we started there, and then headed over to the mud hole. Ok that got fun. One crazy lady with us, marched into the mud hole and found a scooper thing- actually looked like someone cut a plastic soda bottle in half- and started scooping mud. It was not a huge hole and I was happy not to step in it since I had forgotten my flip flops so was barefoot and I hate stepping in things I can't see thru. I just watched this weird tv reality show where these people go into these muddy rivers and pull these fish that look like eels with teeth out of these holes in the side of the bank....yeah I wasn't putting my hand or foot or anything else in there ha ha!! Then the small cement pool for washing it off was so dirty as well, but we found a hose nearby and used that- Unfortunately it was freezing cold water! But once we were all covered in mud we laid in lounge chairs in the sun while it dried on us. We got to laughing about well- women get together and yeah we laugh...nothing I want to repeat here ha ha!! Well a hint....sex changes, husbands, fantasies....you know! ha ha hah aha ha So we talked an laughed and the mud dried hard on our bodies. But wow! Once we rinsed off! Everybody was ooohing and ahhhhing about how silky smooth we felt, I've showered a few times since and my skin still feels silky.

While we were gettin' muddy they started to fill the big pool. I woulda sworn we weren't going to be able to use it. and hey this is Mexico- there's not going to be any getting our money back or any discount. But you know what? By the time we were done with the mud, that big pool had about 2 or 3 feet in it- and that water was boiling hot! You could move out to a far side and it was not quite as hot, but we stayed close to the really hot part and laid down in it. It really ended up being just as good...we floated around in a few feet of water, the other people there did the same thing. It was fun.

Later we ate, fed the ducks, oh and the bano (bathroom) of course was not working so we peed behind rocks and trees- another good thing about there not being too many people there that day, and before we knew it, it was 4pm and time to hit the road. It was a beautiful spot, out in the middle of nowhere. A creek ran thru it, bbq stands next to picnic tables all around the outside of the pools, a flock of snow white ducks, and we were in a small canyon, so surrounded by cliffs, really a pretty spot.

So I did not use the day as some excuse to go on an eating binge and that was good. I did taste a corner of the banana bread Joanne made. She is a great cook. She made in honor of my sobriety birthday, and it was still warm when we arrived. But I really am changing my habits- my eating habits. I am beginning to crave apples, I don't think about things I'm missing- I'm not missing out on anything- the fact is I can eat whatever I want. I'm choosing. And right now I'm choosing to eat things that are better for me than others. When the time comes that I will die if I don't have some oreo cookies- well I guess I'll have some. Hopefully just a couple. But I'm not dying yet...so it's going pretty good. Tonite I made steamed shrimp and veges, and for the first time in months added a cup of rice. I think the point is- a cup...not a plateful ha ha! Oh and the other important thing- I made it! Well not the rice- but next time. But now I know how to steam shrimp perfectly! Veges, too. For me this is a huge thing. I am no cook. Never enjoyed it. Too much work when I could just buy it already made- which is what I used to do in the states- there were a couple of grocery store that had cooked meals, and I also used to buy weight watcher frozen meals as well, so I was covered. Ha ha my ex husband and my husband now are both amazing cooks, so between all that I never needed to cook! And honestly I wouldn't have to now- Everardo is happy to cook- even if it's one thing for him and something different for me. But I'm getting involved. Stranger things eh? ha ha

I'm eating alot of seafood- shrimp, crab, and white fish (usually tilapia)- we buy it all fresh and that's usually at least 5 nites a week. I can have something cold on the other nites....fruit, egg sandwhich, etc. I hit 44 pounds on Friday and I'm very happy about it! Yippee!! This is month 11, so one more month and I will have stuck with this exercise and change of eating habits for a year! I plan to continue. I'd like to lose at least another 20, and maybe more, I'll see when I hit 60 pounds which was my year goal. I won't make 60 in a year- it's only another 5 weeks to make a year, but I am not unhappy- I chose 60 pounds as kind of an arbitrary number- 5 pounds a month. But 5 pounds a month is not reasonable for a year....in fact I didn't lose 1 pound in December or the first half of Jan...and really 2 or 3 will only get harder to lose as I get closer to my goal. Then I will have to learn to maintain. After 20 years of different diets, this has been new. I am not doing a "diet". To me, diet insinuates I am giving something up for a limited time- that's not what I'm doing. I'm changing my lifestyle. Kinda like when  I quit drinking. This new way of eating and my exercise program is my new lifestyle. So, we'll see.

My life is going really good right now. I am teaching my English classes, yeah sometimes just 2 students, but that's still good. I have a sponsee in AA, a woman I am helping thru the steps, I am feeling healthier than I have in a long time- all done taking the cancer medicine and I feel like my body is taking care of itself. You know I think it takes time for my system to get everything out, and now it's been 3 months since I finished taking Arimidex....hmmm I just realized that.

Ok what else? welllll summer is coming right? Soon I will be back to spending as much time as possible outside, in my hammock, on the beach....and posting more pics here now that I have it figured out ha ha. Oh I'll try to remember to post some pics from when we lived in Sonora on the SEa of Cortez...which the Mexicans call Gulf of Calif. Ok viva!

First swim of 2015

First swim of the new year (2015)...

I just had to write at least a short post today and tell about the first swim, and the seal. We're having these warm winds; they're called the Santa Anas. Not sure why but warm wind is called that. It must have been 80 degrees here today! I sweat my butt off during my workout, which was half on the beach and half at the senior stretch.

Too bad I didn't have my camera on the beach this morning, but like I said I was dancing...well Everardo also came down to the beach to throw the ball for Sam & Hazel. We have one of those ball chuckers- long plastic sticks with a cup at the end to hold the ball and you can "chuck it" really far. It's great for me because I can't throw a tennis ball too far. Hazel can outrun Sam and any other dog I've ever seen on the beach (or anywhere else), so when I take them I throw a couple for her, then call her over and hold her collar while I "chuck" for Sam into the waves. Right as he's closing in on the ball I let Hazel go and she sprints out there like a bat outta hell and almost beats him to it! She sorta flattens out low to the ground when she's running like that- we've thought she was part coyote since we got her. I mean- it's possible, right? There are sooooo many stray dogs in Mexico and a lot of coyotes around here; we see them all the time and hear them every nite. She was a rescue puppy, and the rest of her litter looks nothing like her- and I believe a dog can have a litter with multiple fathers. (ok gotta google that- yep just looked it up!)

Anyway she actually caught a squirrel the other day! And how fast is a squirrel?? Everardo was out walking the dogs by the estuary and came around a corner and there she was with it in her mouth- he yelled at her and she dropped it.....yeah kinda freaked me out. Anyway this dog is fast! So you know in the pictures she is the smaller brown dog, right? Sam is the black lab.

Ok so Everardo is throwing the ball for them (he brings 2 and throws in 2 directions- why didn't I think of that!) and I am dancing and I look off to the right and see a lump which I think is a big pile of this sea weed stuff that comes with the tide and often is left behind, but then Hazel runs down there to check it out. Those piles of seaweed always smell good I guess because both dogs spend lots of time at them and then Sam usually leaves a calling card (pees on them) before trotting off to investigate something else...oh I gotta find the pictures from last summer when they found a live crab along the shore- ha ha! So when Hazel gets there, the pile is a young seal. I guess he was just sunning himself because he jumped right up when she got there. She was jumping around like when she wants Sam to play with her, so she wanted the seal to play. He didn't seem too distressed, didn't bark or anything but headed back to the water. She went too, and followed the seal into the surf. Everardo had run down there to make sure she didn't bother it, or try to bite it or anything- she didn't...but as she jumped a little wave coming into shore, the seal ducked into it and was gone. It was pretty cute, the whole thing. Later when we came down for the swim (ok I didn't swim...well I had the camera- that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it), Hazel ran right over to where the seal had gone into the water and stood there looking out- for her new friend I think!

Last summer when Bob the sea lion was hurt and we sat with him every day for a week, both dogs were really good with him. At one point Hazel and Bob touched noses. I think Sam & Hazel knew Bob the sea lion was hurt, and they were gentle. They sniffed and then sat quietly with me while I put water on Bob, and pet him and told him he'd be ok. At the end of the week he was ok, and went back to the ocean. Oh and the marine vetrinarian from the gov't who takes care of the marine wildlife came twice and gave him a shot...she was wonderful. But anyway the seals and sea lions are a part of our beach, the really sad part though is that we see alot of dead ones on the beach because the DAMN fishermen - the ones supporting the damn tuna rings, shoot them. They are not supposed to; it's against the law- but they do it anyway.

I've only seen a couple of whales this year, and really only the water spouting up. I think this month and next are the end for that for the year...so maybe I should start hanging out at the cliffs because they don't come into the bay too much- partly I think because it's not that deep, and the other part is again- the damn tuna rings. Once they finish raping this bay of all the bait fish, the tuna rings will move further south to destroy another eco system, and then it will take about 50 years for the bay to recover. Sad, isn't it?

Ok so swimming this afternoon: Everardo took his fins and mask and dogs and headed in. Hazel came back pretty quick, but loyal Sam followed Poppi out there. The water was pretty cold- it may be summer warm here right now, but the ocean is still cold. He has a wet suit, 2 actually...one is called a farmer John or something like that- it's like overalls...no sleeves...like it needs a shirt. The other is a regular wetsuit except the legs and arms are short. But he thought he didn't need it ha ha. I don't know if the weather is going to be good from now on or not, it is only February after all, but I would be just fine is summer is here! So he swam some, then came back in and grabbed Hazel and took her out a ways, then she and Sam swam back in. Then our new next door neighbor showed up with her 2 puupies; one is about 4 months and the other is about 8 weeks. They watched Sam & Hazel in the water and they tried wading and then ran around- it was pretty cute. Then Everardo tried to teach them to fetch and that was pretty funny as well. Sharon (neighbor) told me the other day when Everardo went off down the beach with our dogs, her little one just trotted off behind him and never looked back! Yep that's my dog whisperer.

Earlier this afternoon I climbed into my hammock, read a little and snoozed a little- it does sound like summer doesn't it? The hammock is in the shade of the porch and actually I got a little cold...it's warm during the day but really gets cold at nite. But I was so happy to be reading outside. Another neighbor who lives a few houses away showed up with an armful of books by Harlan Coben who I am really hooked on right now and I had mentioned I really liked his books. This guy has about 500 books and has invited me to borrow all I want. This was great! I plan do make my way thru his books even though I have about 100 of my own I haven't read...maybe more. But I always like to read other people's books and then I always have some to read in case I need them. Sounds weird but it's exactly what this guy said too ha ha. If you love books you understand.

Yesterday I went to an AA meeting in Ensenada, on a boat that was in the original King Kong movie- pretty cool. They have it every week there but Wednesday mornings I am usually exercising. I strained my elbow though, and then in an effort to protect it I think I strained my shoulder ha ha. That was Monday on the bowflex, so I decided not to do my normal weights on Wed and my girlfriend had been after me to go to the "boat meeting" so I went. It was nice; so peaceful on the boat, it's in the harbor with a ton of other boats and right neat the cruise ship port and one was pulled in. But I got back on my exercise schedule today though, and that's when Hazel saw the seal. Well here's hoping summer has arrived in Baja! Viva (oh and I'll look for that photo of the dogs with the crab!)

Fish and other interesting things....

Fishing in Playa Ventura:

Sometimes it's fish.........and sometimes.......

It's lobster........yipee!

Tonite I was sooooo proud of myself! I made the most amazing dinner! Ok it's a salad but for me it's a huge deal to make something sooo good. Shrimp. Fresh shrimp, spinach leaves, goat cheese, cucumber, cauliflower, avocado.  I put 2 tablespoons of Italian dressing on the spinach and put it back in the fridge, then cut up the cucumber & avocado and threw it in. That's when I spotted the goat cheese. It was mushy, in basically a plastic bag tube- so I squeezed out 2 ounces 7 put it aside. Then, I steamed the cauliflower and the shrimp for 3 minutes each and took out the salad and dumped them in. I looked at the mush cheese and decided to make it into tiny balls and threw them in as I rolled them- so they kinda melted wherever the hit hot shrimp or cauliflower. Then we ate! OMG! It was soooooo good! And and and....it filled me up. It looked good and tasted amazing! Another great thing: 516 calories! Hmmm maybe I should have put a picture of my salad here eh? Too late I just finished it.

The thing is, for me to be creative with food, and to make something that looks so good and tastes good....hmmm maybe next time I should add pine nuts...of course more calories. The cool thing is that seafood is so good for you, and low cal. My wonderful hubby has been bringing home fresh cracked and cleaned crab for the past 2 or 3 weekends. He gets a half a kilo which I can split into 2 meals. He has been eating clams that he collects on the beach. I do not care for them- they're kind of rubbery and hard ha ha. He isn't fishing for the crab; he gets it from a pescaderia called Jesse's down the road. He brings me fresh shrimp and white fish fillets, too. I'm eating more seafood than I ever have before. The crab, when it's in the shell looks very different than the crab I am used to up in northern Calif. This crab has huge legs, really big around and long. I'm not sure how long the season is but I'm very happy. We haven't had much lobster, but that's ok. I love it best with melted butter ha ha which kinda messes up the whole low calorie thing, right? The shrimp can be made in a salad or with a big plate of veges. The crab I still prefer the same every time- in a salad, and the fish stand alone so with veges or maybe beans.

The pictures above are from when we lived down south, and I wasn't being careful about eating and so pigged out on lobster whenever it was available ha ha.

Ok new subject. I expected to be writing this last nite and talk about getting a driver's license here in Baja since I got one down south and one in Puerto Penasco, Sonora and the experiences were completely different. I heard here there was a written test! And possibly a driving test! No such thing the first 2 times. In fact the first time was nothing- hand over 200 pesos, they took my picture and 10 minutes later handed me a license- good for a year. In Penasco it was a huge hassle, I had to go to the red cross and have a blood test- which I was never given the results of so I still don't know my blood type...and then Everardo had a huge fight with them in the office because they were quite rude to me and tried to make it impossible for me to comply. They finally grudgingly gave me one- for 1 year they said (oh and no test of any kind- the hard time was about how long I lived in Mexico...our address, my visa...etc). The really funny thing is that yesterday afternoon and the way to the government office to apply, I put on my reader magnifiers & realized the license was for 2 years. We laughed pretty hard- Everardo pulled over to check it out for himself and we really laughed hard. They were such shits about it- and we paid for a 1 year lic....and it's for 2 years! So it's good until Aug of 2015. Ha! The other good thing is we didn't have to spend about 1000 pesos! I was going to take a picture of all 3 licenses...ah well- this summer. And as we were laughing we said- for us- 7 months from now- Aug? That's a lifetime away- who knows what we'll be doing? Moving to another part of Mexico? Going back to the states? Living right here?

We've now been here longer than anywhere else. We are starting year 2 in this trailer, and been in Baja for 16 months. And although it's winter, hopefully those 2 or 3 freezing cold weeks were it for that kind of cold. I'm still working out in tank tops and shorts. But it's cold at nite. I still sleep in a long johns shirt & sweat shirt, pajama pants & socks- but I have given up the wool socks I wore over the socks and the sweatshirt hood. In the evening we sometimes use the propane heater- it's weird how much longer it seems to last than when we used it in Penasco. If we sell the Playa Ventura house will we move to a better place? hmm probly not. Because to get this beach, we'd probably have to pay at least $500 U.S and why pay twice as much when this place gets more liveable all the time? I tell you, move to Mexico if you want to get down to basics- to find out what you can really live with and/or live without. I am sooo happy to have a new faucet in my bathroom! It's shiny...and clean...and then we got new faucets for the other bathroom and the kitchen! Awesome. Ha ha is that pathetic? That I am so happy for new faucets? Like I said, come to Mexico to see what you really need and all the things you don't need! A guy who lives a few houses away came by today to lend me a couple of books to read- I like that. I walked next door to see the woman who lives there to see if she wants to go to "senior stretch" with me. Ha ha I always laugh out loud when I call it that- or even write it! She's about my age, or actually maybe younger....she's a lawyer. Anyway the funny thing was she was walking towards out place at the same time.

I walked to her place out the back- on the beach side, and so did she so we met in the middle. She has 2 puppies, one about 4 months and one about 2 months so she has her hands full. She invited me for coffee which we had on her back porch watching the waves. She's the one who gave me the goat cheese because she bought too much. I was happy to accept it- thinking about looking up the calorie count ha ha. She's the one who told me about the jobs online- which I looked into- got intimidated and have let go of for now; I'm all about my English class and planning class activities and my exercise program..and now maybe even cooking? Whoa movin' too fast- ha ha ha ha I really am becoming Mexicana! I do want to talk to her about it a little bit more, and she was also talking about something she does that she makes something like $400 USD every time- it's lawyer stuff, but repetitious and when she told me about it she was saying how she could teach me, then split the fee with me since it's her accreditation as a lawyer that earns the fee (the work has to be done by a lawyer). I was thinking of telling her- shit! I'll take $100 and you can have $300 to entice her to take on the work. For me, $100 a shot is a hell of a lot more than I make now- which is ZERO. But I'll wait until I know her a little better. She asked me if I want to do this dvd workout with her- it's Jillian what's her name- the one who did Biggest Loser, but I guess is not on it anymore? Anyway it's a 90 program, and she has a huge living room with a tile floor (of course) that we could do it in. We looked at the package today; she has to find the book and I'll lend her a dvd player...but if we can agree to do it maybe at 1pm in the afternoons...I'm ready to give it a shot. And this way we would get to know each other a bit.

It's funny down here, people are different- I mean well I know people are people...but what makes someone move down here, especially alone and not knowing anybody? I mean I moved with my husband, and it totally helps that he's Mexican. And yes, this is just a couple hours from the border so it's not as huge as say- when we moved down near Acapulco- there are a lot of Americans here. Lots and lots of seniors. They seem to be in a couple of groups; one group is here because they can't afford to live in the U.S., everything here is cheaper, from rent to medical care, to car insurance, everything. The other group is retired with money. They have the really nice houses and cars, housekeepers and gardeners....hang out in the local restaurants and bars.... And then from both groups there are a couple of types: the type that never learns a word of Spanish, "tolerates" ha ha all the Mexicans- have US expectations of everything. The other type actually live in Mexico- try new foods, try to learn the language, embrace the culture, treasure their surroundings.

In Peansco there were alot of people running from the law. A guy we knew was wanted and we heard after we left that the US came down and got him and he's in prison for something like 20 years and he was in his 30's. He was a nice kid- but irresponsible as hell- grow up daddio! He didn't and I guess the feds were happy to hand him over. I just heard the other day that in Ensenada there are about 10 rehabs for the rich and famous...mostly for druggies- that they give their incoming clients drugs that let them float instead of going thru withdrawals to avoid the pain...Not FDA approved so can't be done in the states- but here- no problem. I had heard there was a rehab like that just down our road- one for the really rich & famous so now hearing that Ensenada is the place for actors and singers needing it, I guess it's probably true...hmmm I'll have to wander down that way and see what I can see ha ha. Oh that reminds me- tomorrow I'm going to an AA meeting on a boat that was in the original King Kong movie! Pretty cool eh? I know the woman who owns it...I just haven't been to that meeting cause on Wednesday mornings I have my workout. But yesterday I strained my elbow, and I think hurt my shoulder trying to baby my elbow so now my entire arm- well the joints anyway are really sore, so I decided I can take a day off.

Oh and next week I'm going with a bunch of AA women to the hot springs which are about a 40 minute drive from here, for a "retreat" day. So that experience will be something to write about here- the hot springs not the AA portion....Anyway it's interesting to see why or how people come to live in Mexico...and I look forward to getting to know my neighbor a little better- hopefully anyway ha ha.


Oh and today I hit 41 pounds! That's a big yipee for me. There's a guy at the AA meeting in Ensenada who is about 70 I think, and he's starting an exercise new eating program like mine so we're kinda email buddies to give each other encouragement. It's nice to do a "buddy system" right? So even though I hurt my shoulder & elbow I worked out today...danced and then senior stretch :)
And Thursday I'll take the neighbor with me. Next week I'll skip exercise on Thurs, but have decided it's ok if I skip one day during a given week. Tomorrow I'll go up to Ensenada for the boat meeting, then home, then off to the meditation meeting (every other Wed afternoon), then home to grab my stuff for English class at 5:30. Wow busy life eh? I'll make up for it by spending Thurs afternoon reading or walking on the beach. Today I read, then when I went to see the neighbor I went with her to take her puppies to the vet in the next town....a little laundry....then the day seems to slip away ha ha. I do spend Mon-Fri until noon exercising though so it's afternoons....

I am very happy right now. English class is awesome! I am loving it- the class flies by each time. Meditation, working out, eating smarter....talking to the universe from my beach chair...soon it will be warm enough for my hammock.....yeah what's not to be happy about? viva!

Don't fix it if it ain't broke!

The estuary on the other side of our place...

This is what I saw this morning out the window of the place where I went to try zumba. It is actually the far side of the estuary from us. Standing right outside our trailer the beach is on one side and the estuary on the other; the beach is much closer, but the walk to the estuary is nice. Full of squirrels for Hazel to chase- I think sometimes they wait for her to see them...they both freeze (squirrel & dog)...then one moves a tiny muscle and the chase is on! But the sneaky squirrels have holes all over the place and they dive in. Hazel digs furiously but I suspect the tunnels are long and connect to lots of escape hatches. Sam is usually content to amble along next to us; but will take off on a tear if he does spot something...usually a bird making noise in the bushes.

So this morning I headed off for zumba about 7:45. My plan was to start going to zumba Tue & Thurs mornings for a few weeks- to push myself and to learn some new steps for my own routine. I also wanted to see how much it would kick my butt; meaning how much harder it w as than the dancing I do on my own. Wow what a surprise I was in for! Yes I did work up a sweat, but I kept up- easily. I was never out of breath. Yeah I could probly work it a little harder as I become more comfortable with the steps, but the fact is, it just wasn't that difficult! My workout is much harder! Can I get a yippee?? On a couple of levels; I'm happy to affirm that I am working out hard. I've been reading about the idea of interval training- meaning get my heart rate up, then slow back, down then up, then down,.....during the fast songs I always push as hard as I can. If I'm feeling really tired or weak, I do more slow ones...where I can twirl and sorta rock & roll dance, right? It's for minimum 50 minutes, but the days I go to the stretch class I only dance for 30 minutes, then the class is an hour. Ok so I am happy to know I am working hard. (I thought so) The next thing is, the zumba class is at 8am....that means I want to get up by 6:45 so I can have coffee, etc. I usually start exercising at 9, so I don't have to get up until 7:30 or 7:45....which is a comfortable wake up time for me...natural. And I have to drive to this place, and pay. Now it's only 20 pesos (in fact she said I could workout for free, but that isn't right)...but my routine is right here. I get dressed and walk outside. I dance on the beach and my doggies are with me. My original idea with zumba was just to change it up a little, an a class is fun, and maybe when it gets warmer I give it another shot...oh but the time still sucks ha ha!

Then I had an hour to waste before the stretch class- so I came back home and threw the ball for Sam & Hazel for a few minutes..home is in between the 2 classes....Everardo went to Penasco super early this morning to register the vehicles, and since I wasn't exercising at home I felt guilty about them not getting their morning play from him or me. As it turns out, Poppi left at 3:30am! He got to Penasco and finished his business by 11am! I think he stuck around for an AA meeting and saw some of his friends from there, and then started for home- I'm expecting him in a couple of hours- ouch what a long day for him! I took the dogs to the beach for another 45 minutes of chasing the ball this afternoon and they are fast asleep in front of my chair right now. Ahh tomorrow back to normal ha ha. Oh and one thing- Penasco changed how they do their yearly car registration and now they just give you a sticker- like in the U.S. I thought it was an incredible waste to give new license plates every year! But that's what happened last year- he went over there and had to turn in the plates and they gave us new ones! Crazy eh? Either way it's still way way cheaper to renew the registration in Sonora than to change to Baja plates. Next comes my new driver's license- hopefully this month since my Sonora license expired. I've heard that you must take a written test here- then from someone else I heard no written, just a driving test- so we'll see. In Guerrero and Sonora there's no test of any kind.

Here's a couple of pictures of this afternoon playing ball on the beach behind our house...as you can see we basically have the beach to ourselves...all the time.

Our house is behind/under the studio apt on stilts. The house on the left if empty and the house on the right has one lady. Most of the houses near us are empty...some get rented for wknds when the weather is nice. We love our beach.

I was looking at my blog from last year at this time because we moved in Feb 1 here. I hadn't been thrilled about moving into this old trailer, but the views; the beach & the estuary, the fact that our dogs could run free...not too many neighbors, quiet...well those things sold me and after a year I'm so happy we chose to come here. Oh and the price was right up our alley ha ha- $250USD per month and water & garbage free....with our small income the price was right!

I was not super happy to read some of my other posts for this time period, basically because I felt like ouch- zero personal growth in one area. I had written at this time last year about my frustration and sadness about the relationship or lack of one with my younger daughter. I find myself in the exact same place. This is the opposite of the title of this post- which was actually referring to my exercise program and not my relationship with my kid. With the older one, Drewy, my relationship is awesome! The only thing that could make it better is if she moved down here! (not gonna happen0 We talk all the time, about everything, personal to each of us, family stuff, her work stuff, what we both do with our time...everything. I love her so much and her soon to be step daughter and her finace as well. He loves her so much, and it seems like he is so good for her and to her. Calm where she is not ha ha- Yes she is a mini me! But he is calm and strong and loving and kind. And my granddaughter is a mini Drew ha ha! The facebook photos of her getting all dressed up like Drewy, playing school with her dolls and the dog- just like Drew did when she was that age. They are a beautiful family.

Hmmm I guess it's easier to talk about the good relationship, right? Well I know the same things as last year where my younger daughter is concerned. That I need to find acceptance. That I need to let go of her. That I need to continue to ask the universe for guidance where she is concerned. I actually wrote a big long thing here last nite- and this may be the first time I came back and edited my post. The things I wrote were true, and how I felt, but they were in my context...some details that were/are bothering me, and of course not the complete picture. So I woke up and decided that I felt better for getting it out of me- that sometimes that's what I need. In fact this blog has become huge for me in getting out my feelings when I'm confused or scared or angry. I write how I feel and it helps me work thru whatever it is. But this time I felt like the feelings were more private- or maybe just too hard to articulate accurately without telling a long story with too many details...ha ha it's called life.

OK so I end up with this: I do have a relationship with my daughter; I just wish it was different, more. We have not been close for a very long time; basically since she turned 13. She chose to live at her dad's even though I only lived about 5 blocks away. Of course she chose him- she had a huge living space- the house had a finished "basement" so she had 2 bedrooms, a full bath, a bigger living room than in my house, a huge big screen tv, etc- oh and her own entrance. Add almost no rules and no chores/responsibilities, well I guess she was in hog heaven. My little house was cozy...but I had rules, curfew, etc.

Anyway I missed alot with her...homework, watching tv at nite, eating together- you know- life! Honestly broke my heart, over & over. It has not changed. Last summer I thought we made some progress, but it seems it was again it was just that she needed something- and as my husband tells me over & over...when she does contact me I jump up with joy to be hearing from her, and then she just wants something. This time I tried to capitalize on a negative (her relationship with her dad's new wife was not going well) and in the end it bit me in the ass. I should have known you can't get something positive- you can't "win" or accomplish anything positive by using a negative situation. Now I've lost the friendship of my ex husband who I have been friends with over 20 years, as well as his new wife. My fault. And my daughter? Well we are back to not communicating. And when we do, if I call her on anything she is not interested. Like I said, not much of a relationship. Over the years I have driven myself crazy...trying to see her, call her, text her, msg her....being ignored unless she feels like it (read wants something). I knew we spoiled her too much and I did my best to stop when she became a teen, but then I really lost her. Ha ha it's lonely being right sometimes. Yeah yeah do I want to be right or do I want to be happy (well I'm always happy when I'm right ha ha)....but sometimes doing the right thing doesn't make me happy in the moment, but ultimately it usually does.

My kid needs to be responsible, to face consequences...to grow up. Right now she's 21 and full of herself. I love when she gets excited about something; she's very passionate...but it is always fleeting and then she's off to the next thing. Well I know she has her own path. I knew it last year too - but still I circle back to the same spot. So...I need to keep asking the universe for guidance, I need to use the serenity prayer in all things- you know- the last line with the wisdom to know the difference of what I can change. because the thing is- I can only change myself. My attitude. I can't change anyone else. I can only behave in a positive responsible way- for myself. I love you daughter.

So I am going to try to let go again. I am not going to pursue her, chase after her, beg her to love me, to need me, to choose me. I love her and always will, but she is on her own path. I am out. I will be happy to hear from her anytime, but I cannot be on this emotional roller coaster anymore. Not fair to me or to my husband, and affects her not at all. Now I've said it out loud and in writing. I hope I re read this- alot- so I stick with it. I have family and friends who want a relationship with me and that's who I will spend my time, my emotions, my life with.

I can see that I've been trying to rewrite the past, make it different. This whole obsession with wanting her to "choose" me, like it will make me a good mother somehow or something. Acceptance is what I need to embrace. I ask the universe for guidance and motivation and I need to supply the acceptance and forgiveness. I was also asking the universe for support, but I realize that guidance and motivation is support. Doubting myself is just another way to be a victim. I don't want to be a victim- for anything. Usually I am not- but I think doubting myself is doing just that. Hmmm! See! This is why I love writing things out...I figure things out sometimes. I feel relief right now. Here is an opportunity for change- in me.

Yes I believe a nice "VIVA" is in order! VIVA!!!!!

My pelican friends

The edge of Todos Santos Bay, Ensenada, Baja California

This is the bay we live on. This picture was taken today from the backyard of a house my friend is house sitting. It's on a cliff, very close to the mouth of the bay on the opposite side from Ensenada. We live almost in the center of the U which is the bay. What is that called? The bottom? We look straight out towards the ocean. Her place is beautiful. We sat there this afternoon watching pelicans soaring- but since we were up on the cliff, the pelicans were at eye level- they were amazing! The colors were changing as we watched. The deepest greens slowly changing to lighter coral greens and then back to dark. But I must say, as beautiful as it was, I prefer being closer to the water; we can't see as many dramatic changes in colors- or the cliffs....but I can touch it! I can breathe it in...my silly dogs can run in and splash around.

There were soooo many pelicans out there! In front of our place the land - that's when I call them a pelican convention, but here they flew along the shoreline, then out over the water, then back. I could hear sea lions barking near the tuna rings....probly trying to get to all the bait fish in the rings that the tunas must munch on. Those damn tuna rings- too soon our beautiful bay will be stripped of all its bait fish, then the dolphins and seals and sea lions won't come.....I read it will take at least 50 years for the bay to recover, and by then these rings will have moved on to ruin the ecology of another beautiful bay...

Oh- so today with our dogs & the beach! While I was out visiting my friend, Everardo took the dogs running with him. He runs on the beach and Hazel runs circles around him. Sam trots alongside, stopping to sniff interesting stuff that's come in with the tide. It's funny because he has a bad leg, after a long day he is stiff and sore...limpy. He can't run too far, and can only run really fast for a short time. But he can jog along with Everardo in the sand. Anyway, today as they were running, Poppi passed a seal asleep on the beach - actually he wasn't sure if it was a seal or a sea lion - he didn't actually see it as he went by, but Hazel did. She went up and sniffed the seal's tail and the seal woke up and barked at Hazel. Our Hazel wanted to play. She kept wanting to sniff nose to nose- that what she did last summer with Bob the sea lion- the injured on we found on the beach. That one was so tired, he let Hazel and Sam both come close and didn't shy away. I didn't have my camera then but I swear Hazel and Bob did touch noses. I mean Bob let me stroke him and gently pour water on him those days he recuperated on the beach. And then he was gone. But today, this seal was ok...barked at Hazel and then went back into the water. Hazel followed (of course)....Poppi said it was funny- Hazel followed and the seal kept looking back. He was a little worried that the seal would attack Hazel once in the water, but when it was finally a little deeper, he gave a last look and dove away. So if we lived out on a beautiful cliff, we would miss that.

I wrote yesterday about my health commitment to myself. I felt like since it takes up so much of my time right now, that I should include it in my blog. I kinda wish I didn't....at least the part about how much weight I wanted to lose, how much I have so far...I woke up feeling pressured- and ha ha I did it to myself! It has been private up until now, something I'm doing for myself. Now I have set up an expectation for myself. Well there's only one way to fix this. To say it is still my journey. That I will continue for myself. I may continue to write about it here however not in the same detail I think. I'll say this- I'm still planning to start the zumba class Tuesday morning at 8am- but I don't know where the place is ha ha. Also Everardo is leaving at about 4am Tuesday for Penasco to renew our car & truck registrations so he won't be here. And my goal is actually simply to learn some new steps for my own dancing, to maybe bump up my exercise program for a month or so, and then let it go. Unless of course I find I love leaving the house at 7:45am at least twice a week ha ha. Yeah I doubt that will happen. I like the idea of not fixing things that aren't broken. I like getting up at 7:30 or 7:45, then having coffee and not starting my exercise routine until 9am. I plan to return to that routine in 3 or 4 weeks. I did have an awesome dinner tonite- a huge plate of steamed broccoli, green beans, garlic and a half pound of fresh shrimp. Stuffed me good. I did have my glass of carrots and beets earlier too! The juicer rules!

This past week I've tried halving my ingredients for my protein shake....but I found myself hungry not long after. I'll have to think about it & decide if it's how I want to go forward. The thing is with half the shake I can have other things during the afternoon...well maybe I can do it different on different days, right? So today is day one of month 11.

I can't believe it's Feb 1!! Funny- I looked at my blog for today last year and I was talking about going to zumba on Monday! Well this time it will be just Tue/Thur and in the morning not 6pm in the afternoon. It was when we just moved into this trailer, about Sam & Hazel running all over the beach- so my writing is not that different ha ha. But and this is huge- I wrote about having a migraine and how panic attacks always proceeded them, and about the woman in the pharmacy who gave me the "magic pill" that I could only take a quarter of that cured my headache. I have not had a migraine since I got those pills; a couple of times during 2014 I felt one coming on, I felt a panic attack coming on- there's always something I can smell...a funny taste in my mouth. But they're gone! No more panic attacks equal no more migraines for me! I got a prescription for those pills, and Poppi took one when he got stung by the jellyfish....but the qty 30 they gave me will still last me the rest of my life!

The weather was pretty nice this time last year and if the news is correct we are heading into good weather this week. Yippee if that means the nites will be warmer! ok well that's all for now I think. I'll let you know how early morning group zumba goes- should be interesting after 10 months of dancing alone on the beach- doing whatever I wanted....yeah at the senior stretching class I sort of make up some of the steps to get more out of it...I twirl and jump ha ha! However I suspect the zumba class will kick my ass at first since I have become a believer of the fast & slow exercise concept- to rev up my heart rate for a song or two, then do an easy one to slow my heart back down...then back up....so....vamos a ver, right?
viva