Long week this week. Sometimes it's just hard to not speak the language. I know I have to give myself a break, it takes time, but some days I let it get me down. Add to that no electricity since yesterday morning. Last nite we finally took everything out of the freezer and took it down to Chela & Gumes's to put in their freezer. The electricity was only out at our end of town. When I woke up yesterday it was off, then back on for about an hour between 10-11am, then off again until about 6pm today.
It was kinda like when we first got here, it was a couple of weeks before we got telephone & internet, so I'd take my laptop down to Chela's and sit on their restaurant patio and go online. Late this morning I did the same thing. I also brought my book so I spent a little time in her hammock, too. ha ha. Then she got some customers, several women and some small kids. Chela was by herself cause Gume is building a rock wall down by their house (Everardo is helping), and the kids weren't home. One thing I definitely am not is a cook- so I would be no help, but I asked her if she needed e. She said yes, get them cerveza when they ask for it....but they were not big drinkers. She had to send one of the little neighbor kids, Oscar, to buy something & asked me to watch the baby- 1 yr old. I said sure since she was palying in the sand with Tony (who I call Tigre). But of course Tigre decided to run off and the baby wobbly walked way behind so I took her. She sat with me for awhile but then wiggled to get down. I thought I had made progress because last time Oscar habnded her to me she screamed bloody murder. So I put her down but stayed close to her. Ok for about 5 minutes, then I saw the face getting ready to shriek. I took her inside where Chela was cooking & was ok for about half a minute, then got down, walked off, started screaming. I pick her up- uh oh bloody murder screams. Poor Chela, trying to cook and this baby,,,,so she ran her across the way to her momma.
Anyway Polo showed up a few minutes later so I was not needed. Since she was busy me and Sam walked back down the beach. When Everardo came home he said Chela told him I wanted to help, but because of language, she couldn't tell me - it was easier for her to just do it, or have the kids help.
Today I am feeling much better, but last couple of days I couldn't keep the frustration & sadness out. I do love living here, this is where I want to be. And I know it takes time. I can speak enough Spanish to manage. To shop, to order food, choose fish or veggies in the market place. I can drive and buy ice cream. And one on one I can have a conversation, sometimes it's comical, sometimes fine, sometimes frustrating. Today Chela gave me 100 pesos; I asked why and she said for water (this was all in Spanish). For 4 jugs. I said did Everardo give her the money? No her money. Then why give me the money? She said it was for 4 jugs of water from the white truk, not the Pepsi truck we usually buy it from. We both laughed cause I still didn't know why she gave me the money. I ask her all the questions again and she answered. So I said- I understand all the words but still not why she gave me the money. I kept it and she said when Everardo returned he'd tell me. He had gone home to call the electric company (again). So- when he came he had already seen her by their house, he told me she wanted me to buy the water when the guy came! So! She did say it was from the white truck, but I also thought she told me it was in her kitchen, but she was pointing to where it goes. So one on ne doesn't always work either.
And in a group? Forget about it! At first I usually know what we're talking about but then it gets fast and I get lost. Ha ha by the time I think of how to say something to add, the topic has changed at least 5 times! It's very isolating. I'm used to talking alot, laughing alot, being very social. Poppi is like that, he makes friends with every one, chats everyone up- it's one of the things I love about him, because it's like me! But that's what is frustrating for me, not being a part of. Chela and Gume both say I have learned so much Spanish, and I talk to them so much better than when I got here, and it's true, but one of my character defects is I'm an instant gratification girl and want it all now! Like I said I'm better now but I sucked last couple of days.
I was so mad that I heard Poppi & Gume talking about the demonstration that blocked us from going to Ometepec, and even though I had the flier, all I knew was it was about the electrical bills- that they are too high. And I could see a couple of words, like corruption...But I can't expect him to spend all of his time translating for me, or knowing which things I really want to know every detail about. I struggle because once I start getting mad I think I want to know everything so I form my own opinions...on everything. I know that I'm being petty. He tries so hard, and most of the time it's all good. Actually everyone tries. So maybe enough feeling sorry for myself- it seems that way once I'm over it.
So school is over, too. The kids don't show up, not since a week ago Monday. Hmm that was the day I got mad at some of them ha ha. I also divided them into 2 groups, since a few were brand new and the others needed to move on. I also sent 2 kids home who were not interested in learning anything. But maybe the biggest thing was I said no more dulces (candy). ha ha I only meant it for that block of time. No candy- no kids. It's ok- they didn't really want to learn, it was their parents, and now shool has started. And actually it's a relief, I was spending time worrying about what to show them next. I'm not a teacher, and so was looking for ideas. Everardo also said, good now you can stop worrying about it- at first I loved it but started to anx't- ha ha that's me- worry when I can't do something perfect- even when I have no control over it. Yep that's what my sponsor said too. I said but I want ot do something to be of service, I thought this was a good idea. She said maybe my destiny is t help women alcoholics, I know how to do that. I have shared, in Spanish, at meetings. Just another reason to work on my fluency!
Ha ha full circle. Back to needing to get the language down, but now I can use this time I was using for class to work on Spanish. Polo said he'd help me (13yrs- Chela's son speaks English) I'm also gonna try translating some things like the local newspaper. In a couple of days we will have lived here 3 months. I bet in 6 months I'll be even better.
It was kinda like when we first got here, it was a couple of weeks before we got telephone & internet, so I'd take my laptop down to Chela's and sit on their restaurant patio and go online. Late this morning I did the same thing. I also brought my book so I spent a little time in her hammock, too. ha ha. Then she got some customers, several women and some small kids. Chela was by herself cause Gume is building a rock wall down by their house (Everardo is helping), and the kids weren't home. One thing I definitely am not is a cook- so I would be no help, but I asked her if she needed e. She said yes, get them cerveza when they ask for it....but they were not big drinkers. She had to send one of the little neighbor kids, Oscar, to buy something & asked me to watch the baby- 1 yr old. I said sure since she was palying in the sand with Tony (who I call Tigre). But of course Tigre decided to run off and the baby wobbly walked way behind so I took her. She sat with me for awhile but then wiggled to get down. I thought I had made progress because last time Oscar habnded her to me she screamed bloody murder. So I put her down but stayed close to her. Ok for about 5 minutes, then I saw the face getting ready to shriek. I took her inside where Chela was cooking & was ok for about half a minute, then got down, walked off, started screaming. I pick her up- uh oh bloody murder screams. Poor Chela, trying to cook and this baby,,,,so she ran her across the way to her momma.
Anyway Polo showed up a few minutes later so I was not needed. Since she was busy me and Sam walked back down the beach. When Everardo came home he said Chela told him I wanted to help, but because of language, she couldn't tell me - it was easier for her to just do it, or have the kids help.
Today I am feeling much better, but last couple of days I couldn't keep the frustration & sadness out. I do love living here, this is where I want to be. And I know it takes time. I can speak enough Spanish to manage. To shop, to order food, choose fish or veggies in the market place. I can drive and buy ice cream. And one on one I can have a conversation, sometimes it's comical, sometimes fine, sometimes frustrating. Today Chela gave me 100 pesos; I asked why and she said for water (this was all in Spanish). For 4 jugs. I said did Everardo give her the money? No her money. Then why give me the money? She said it was for 4 jugs of water from the white truk, not the Pepsi truck we usually buy it from. We both laughed cause I still didn't know why she gave me the money. I ask her all the questions again and she answered. So I said- I understand all the words but still not why she gave me the money. I kept it and she said when Everardo returned he'd tell me. He had gone home to call the electric company (again). So- when he came he had already seen her by their house, he told me she wanted me to buy the water when the guy came! So! She did say it was from the white truck, but I also thought she told me it was in her kitchen, but she was pointing to where it goes. So one on ne doesn't always work either.
And in a group? Forget about it! At first I usually know what we're talking about but then it gets fast and I get lost. Ha ha by the time I think of how to say something to add, the topic has changed at least 5 times! It's very isolating. I'm used to talking alot, laughing alot, being very social. Poppi is like that, he makes friends with every one, chats everyone up- it's one of the things I love about him, because it's like me! But that's what is frustrating for me, not being a part of. Chela and Gume both say I have learned so much Spanish, and I talk to them so much better than when I got here, and it's true, but one of my character defects is I'm an instant gratification girl and want it all now! Like I said I'm better now but I sucked last couple of days.
I was so mad that I heard Poppi & Gume talking about the demonstration that blocked us from going to Ometepec, and even though I had the flier, all I knew was it was about the electrical bills- that they are too high. And I could see a couple of words, like corruption...But I can't expect him to spend all of his time translating for me, or knowing which things I really want to know every detail about. I struggle because once I start getting mad I think I want to know everything so I form my own opinions...on everything. I know that I'm being petty. He tries so hard, and most of the time it's all good. Actually everyone tries. So maybe enough feeling sorry for myself- it seems that way once I'm over it.
So school is over, too. The kids don't show up, not since a week ago Monday. Hmm that was the day I got mad at some of them ha ha. I also divided them into 2 groups, since a few were brand new and the others needed to move on. I also sent 2 kids home who were not interested in learning anything. But maybe the biggest thing was I said no more dulces (candy). ha ha I only meant it for that block of time. No candy- no kids. It's ok- they didn't really want to learn, it was their parents, and now shool has started. And actually it's a relief, I was spending time worrying about what to show them next. I'm not a teacher, and so was looking for ideas. Everardo also said, good now you can stop worrying about it- at first I loved it but started to anx't- ha ha that's me- worry when I can't do something perfect- even when I have no control over it. Yep that's what my sponsor said too. I said but I want ot do something to be of service, I thought this was a good idea. She said maybe my destiny is t help women alcoholics, I know how to do that. I have shared, in Spanish, at meetings. Just another reason to work on my fluency!
Ha ha full circle. Back to needing to get the language down, but now I can use this time I was using for class to work on Spanish. Polo said he'd help me (13yrs- Chela's son speaks English) I'm also gonna try translating some things like the local newspaper. In a couple of days we will have lived here 3 months. I bet in 6 months I'll be even better.
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