After 2 years in Mexico

2 years ago we left northern Calif; packed up our little truck and pulling a trailer full of clothes, bicycles, pots and pans, lots of books and just a couple of pieces of furniture (one of which did not survive the trip), my husband, our dog, and I changed our lives forever. We drove south and then east to cross at Santa Teresa, right next to Juarez- which we ended up going thru anyway. We sat at the border for a day and a half because we wanted to nationalize our vehicles, then finally crossed into Mexico. Ha ha we were pulled over within the first half hour by the feds- who were looking for money- which my Mexican husband did not give, even though the feds were sure we didn't pay the right amount at the border for all our stuff, or for the truck, ect. Hubby showed paperwork and stood his ground. Maybe the most effective I have been as a "gringo" woman was on that trip- when every time feds pulled us over, at some point they would notice me, ask who I was, find out I was his esposa- an Americana- and then they would smile politely and send us on our way. However by the time we got to Guerrero (after Chihuahua, Durango, Zacatecas, Jalisco & Michocan) we were only being pulled over by "regular" or state police and they didn't care who I was and we usually paid. Acapulco was the craziest- pulled over 3 times in the first half hour or so, and then finally took our license plates off. Got pulled over again and Everardo angrily asked this cop how much $ to stay with us thru Acapulco. We saw at least 3 other cops be waved off by this guy....However- 6 months later when we packed up again and drove north with Guerrero plates we were not pulled over once. (north after Jalisco was Nyarit, Sinaloa to end in Sonora)

Ok interesting observations or things I have learned or changed:

I never go barefoot. Inside or outside. At first, in Playa Ventura, Guerrero, it was because of scorpions. Ok I shouldn't say "at first" because it's still the main reason- at least indoors....We lived there 6 months and we had 2 in the house and one on the patio that connects the kitchen to the rest of the house. That one was fighting off a puupy who was barking and poking at it and it was waving it's tail and I swear had a mean look in it's eye (ok maybe a little over the top.) So I always wore flip flops or slippers in the house, and tennis shoes or flip flops outside.  This has remained true for all 3 places we have lived or live. My feet have gotten...well wider. I wear a size bigger than when I got here. Fine for slip flops and sandals, but the rest of my shoes are now basically useless. Ouch- I was always a big shoe person, lots and lots of pairs. Now- I heard the extremely mild winter here in Baja is not normal so I may need covered shoes next winter...but unless I'm working out (which is mostly beach dance/walking) and wearing tennis shoes- no covered shoes for me. I don't go barefoot on the beach because sadly there is often garbage on or just under the sand. Maybe fishing stuff, maybe broken bottles, sometimes bones from seals or other fish. Sound yucky but...I found the same to be true in Sonora on the Sea or Cortez, and down in Guerrero the sand could just get too hot.

I don't put my hand way back in shelves or dark closets where I can't see- pretty much the same thing- scorpions, but here in Baja there seems to be a lot of black widow spiders. I go to an AA meeting in English here, in a tiny building, and there are black widows ALL the time- so my logic is then they might be in my house as well.

Ok this is for women only (I think). After living a year and a half in humidity, 9 months of which you are wet and sticky ALL the time- 24/7, pat don't wipe. Obvious conclusion, enough said. 

I never pay for anything I do not have in my hand. Sometimes when today is over- well you simply start over. The telephone company, the electric company, even the bank. And always always a street vendor, a store...etc. Tomorrow does not mean tomorrow. Oh it might....but it also might mean the day after that, next week, next month, never, or...who are you? Anything that needs to get ordered? ha ha have fun with that. Our dogs got their rabies shots, and actually, 7 months later we did just get the tags for their collars. But- when we got the shots, I asked for bordetella shots and the very nice vet said- let me check- no I don't have any but I'll order it, should be here in a week. We'll call you. so 2 weeks later I went back and he said oh bordetella? Let me check- no I don't have any but I'll order it, should be here in a week. We'll call you. Next week- exact same thing. It was all in Spanish, but I was able to ask, do you remember I was here before and asked for it? Oh yes, I remember you. Well we'll call you when it comes in. When we're near there we stop by to ask......Yes comical, sometimes not so much, like the telephone company who accidently over charged us and said- oh we'll reverse it tomorrow- can't right now because the transaction blah blah blah...after a couple of months of driving up to Ensenada and arguing with them, then they wanted us to prove we didn't get the money back! Yeah I'm not allowed in the telephone company anymore. Not by them, more by me and hubby agreement. I lost in there and everyone just looked at me. ha ha. Interestingly, the bank finally took money back.....

Most things are not my business and nobody needs my input. Yes I should have learned this a long time ago and before coming to Mexico. This is a different culture. Dogs are not treasured family members to most Mexican people. (At least where I have been). Expats cherish their pets, but here, in a country so poor, with people simply trying to eat, who may or may not even have plumbing in their homes- dogs are not treasured family members. They might be good to have around, for protection, or...hmmm not sure what. They may or may not get fed, and it may or may not be dog food. Humans eat first. There are sooooo many stray dogs in Mexico! I have seen some dog rescue operations, but they have been expat. Even neutering dogs is just not the culture- that somehow the male dog will lose his "manlihood" his muchismo...Females don't get spayed because- well in many cases- it just doesn't get a second thought. So- for me- if there is a place or a way I can help- fine- but it is not my job or my business to tell (lecture) people on how they should treat their dog.

Maybe it's just animals in general. The horses and the cows around here are so skinny- in Guerrero, too. Ensenada is a cruise port and buses come out past where we live on the way to the Bufadora (a huge blowhole), and they'll stop up on the main road where locals have strings of horses that tourists ride down to the beach. These horses are so skinny! And I see horses all over the place tied up with pretty short ropes. Those cruise ships look like big floating apartment buildings and have sooo many people on them. They come 4 maybe 5 times a week, and so the horses are out there alot. I think they charge 200 pesos for the short ride across the dirt road and over to the beach for a few minutes. Poor skinny horses- but these people are trying to make a living. No for me to judge and not for me to say.

I don't understand why birth control is not on everybody's mind! Again, not my business, but my blog my opinion....such poor people and sooo many kids, and so many children having children. Mexico is very complicated in it's culture, it's history and it's current situations on so many levels, in so many areas. I know it's hard to think about tomorrow when you are struggling today. Many times what do not see is hope. That's a hard one.

Lower my expectations- customer service is not top priority. Recently a friend of mine who has lived in Europe told me that customer service is an American thing. Finding it lacking here is not odd but rather the norm. There can be 10 cash registers in the store, only 2 open with 20 people waiting in line. Nobody complains. When I first came to Mexico I would get frustrated and say something loudly. People turn to look at me. When I had that meltdown in the phone company- customers and employees alike turned to look at me. People do not complain- they wait. In Mexico everything is possible, but you must wait for everything. I used to say things here are simple but never easy. I was wrong- they are never simple. I had to work on my acceptance or I was gonna go crazy.

We opened a bank account down in Guerrero, with Santander- no problem moving because they are all over Mexico. Now, down there it was an all day affair- it was an hour north driving to Cruz Grande, the first city big enough for a bank. When you get there- every time- there is a line down the street before they open and it stays that way all day. When it's your turn, you get their full attention, even if you simply visit after your business is done- even though there is a huge line waiting. When we moved up to Puerto Penasco, Sonora- there was a bank, but it busy all of every day. You always wait. Ok so we move over here to Baja, just south of Ensenada. They have 2!! Santander branches, and one is at the south end of town and so convenient for us. Recently my husband's atm card wasn't  working that good when swiped at the store, so we stopped in to see if we could get another. The answer was yes- but not one with his name on it- because....(this is a good one).....we didn't open our account there and they will only send a new card with his name on it to the location where we opened the account. WHAT?? Yes they can electronically move funds, they even receive money from our U.S account. They have our new address, they can see our accounts on their screen, and can print us out a statement if we like. But they can NOT give us a card with our name on it. We can open a new account there and then they will give us new atm cards with our names on them. But they can NOT close the old account.....because (right?) because we have to go to the location where we opened it and close it there. ahhhhh ok- what if we take all the money out? Well then it will sit in pending.. and if you leave money in it- it has to be more than 1500 pesos, or they will penalize you and take 150 pesos each month until you increase your balance. If it goes to zero then it moves to pending. Hey- clear as mud!

One thing I'll say about that card with no name- I actually kind of like it because it has a chip in it, so when the card is swiped for a transaction- your name pops up on the screen. Not a bad idea in case it gets stolen, cause most places are pretty good about asking for id with cards unless they know you.

Now for us, as it turns out, I was planning a trip to the US and could set up a new express send so we could transfer to a new account. And we are also planning a trip down to Guerrero to see our house, make some repairs, ect, so we could spend a day in Cruz Grande to close it. So we opened a new account- we just felt that it was better to do it now when we're planning to go down there, and not be forced to at some other point. So it's working out- but the technology and lack of understanding it sometimes just floors me! So patience..acceptance is the key to surviving here for me ha ha.

Be open- logic does not always lead the way! This sort of goes with the above about not "expecting" things or services or attitudes. When I go with the flow here, things seem to have a way of working out. When we got up to Sonora I really wanted to join a zumba class, but they were not cheap, and then if you did pay, the class may or may not be there, or start when you think it us "supposed to", etc. After grumbling about it for a few months, I started following Everardo down to the "ovalo" where he ran on the track while soccer games usually went on in the middle. I put on my ipod and started walking for an hour down there in the evening. After a couple of weeks I saw off to the side a group of women....then heard the music...zumba! I walked over and was motioned into the dance. It was free, it was a class every day- 5 days a week! Apparently the Mexican government wants women to be more healthy and zumba classes are free in many cities. In Penasco they had classes at about 5 different sites. In Ensenada they have them as well, in the morning and the evening, but it's too far for me to go- at least a half hour. But in Penasco I went every week nite and had a ball. I went for months as so learned alot of steps. I was the only American- even tho there are lots of Americans and Canadian there- but it's kinda weird how they kinda don't mix. It's kind of Arizona's playground and sometimes the arrogance of that was quite troubling to me. Anyway it was great for my Spanish, and I got invited to family parties and really felt "a part of".

I loved the instructor, Erika and am now facebook friends with her and several of the other women from class. Erika did me a huge favor and downloaded all her music for me! So here I have made lemonade. I put the music on my ipod and every morning I take the dogs and I dance and walk on the beach for an hour. I feel great and my doggies get to run and swim and play.  I dance by myself and mostly make it up as I go. I am at an age where I finally don't care what anybody thinks about me, When I was a drunk I always danced wherever I was, then was ashamed or embarrassed later- but it's been a long time since then more than 13 years...and in that time, and really since moving to Mexico I have come to know, trust and love myself. The beach is her mostly deserted, a person or two walking their dogs in the morning or late afternoon...those who pass me give me a wave or a thumbs up. I was in the rental office paying rent a few weeks back- it's just down the road from us, and this older woman looks at me and asks- esta mujar que baile en la playa? Yes I said. She told me she wished she could do it. I told her she could. Just takes desire.....

I love love love Mexico!! I love the slower life. Yeah sometimes manana never comes, but the less stress is nice. And it takes some getting used to. I love the people, I love the music, I love smells, I love love all the food vendors- we never go to restaurants- we eat at home or the stands. I love living near the ocean, I can sit for hours watching the waves, the pelicans, and sometimes dolphins and/or seals. Our dogs are so happy. No leash laws, and our dogs always poop in the bushes or on the beach, so soon enough its gone. People are so nice, so open, always willing to help me stumble thru my Spanish (altho I am much much better than when I got hee). We always stop and gave people rides. But I also love the public transportation- there are so many buses all the time- bg ones for long distance but lots a small shuttle type buses always moving people from one place to another. And they'll stop along the road and pick someone up...not only at designated stops.

Ok I don't trust the police but I have never had any problem with them. And what a deal! When we did back into someone- the police were called- they surveyed the minimal damage to the other car's front bumper/headlight, and announced we had to pay 1500 pesos. The people followed us to the bank and we paid them. End of story. No insurance company, no estimates, no nothing. Done. Everardo didn't even get a ticket- altho' that cost him 200 pesos- but better it was all done right then.
 I don't know anything about all the violence of the cartels, gangs, etc. I don't do drugs, I don't have any criminal friends or even acquaintances...so I am not around or even aware of violence or illegal activities.The bad guys deal with and fight with each other. I believe the U.S. reports it solely to try to get people to spend their vacation dollars at home.

I love the healthcare I can afford. Doctor and dentist. I don't go where the Americans go around here...they flock to Ensenada to the English speaking doctor just for them (ha ha sarcasm) Actually this place we're currently living is around the most Americans we been around....we are out on a spit, but up at the main road there's a couple of restaurants, a veterinarian, etc, but we don't go to any of them. The restaurants charge U.S. prices!! There's a town up the road maybe 5 minutes that is a Mexican town- we got to the dentist and doctor there, as well as grocery shopping or out to eat. Ensenada is a mixture but I'm lucky being married to  Mexican because we find the places that are NOT catering to expats. It costs 25 pesos to see the doctor, and if he gives you any meds...those are cheap as well. Oh it costs 35 pesos on Sunday (less than $3.50 USD). It goes to show that the U.S is so so so wrong with healthcare. It's insurance companies and drug manufacturers...(ok I do think that Obamacare is a good start- but just a start down a really long road).

I love the family atmosphere, families are close (and of course big). I love the celebrations for so many holidays! Always about food and plenty of it, and always about music. It did take me a while to figure out the time thing. If you are told the party is at 6pm, and you show up at 6pm...they will look at you in surprise. Even 8pm is kinda early. And they never end! Music and food all nite. Everybody watches the little ones, older kids, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles- the whole it takes a village to raise a child concept works here.

Ok climate is everything. The weather matters. I already knew I never wanted to live anywhere that it snowed. Hey I'm a Calif girl....I like the sun. I don't even like to go snow skiing. I've been to the snow, especially when the kids were small so they could experience it- sleddding, snowball fights, hot chocolate....but cold is not my thing. I am from the northbay area above San Francisco so it can get foogy, rainy in winter, really cold....but not freezing snowstorm cold! But, as it turns out there are levels of heat that I found out I can't take either.

 I found out I do not want to live in the tropics. The 24/7 sticky humid, push you into the ground heat is not for me. We had no hot water and I didn't care. But Playa Ventura was amazing! This was a tiny town, a fishing village, no grocery store, no atm, gas station, etc. People live there, yes a couple of small abarotes (sp) (smaller than 7-11...in front of a house or simply a stall), but that was it. Some really cool things: a boy who walked down our road with a bucket of milk from the cow they just milked! We only bought milk from him a couple of times, but still, right? The lady with the huge basket on her head with breads and pastries who came down the road every day. She always stopped with us and we gave her a glass of cold water.

But the humidity was too much. The gigantic bug bites I had the entire 6 months, I did finally find an oily lotion that helped alot and I still use it. Sleep was always always hard....you lay still and sweat. I became a big nap person. I slept best in the hammock, but at nite that was impossible because it was outside- we tried that once....my god the mosquitoes! So you sleep when  breeze comes up- any time of day. The iguanas that sunned themselves on the big rock behind our house overlooking the ocean. I sat out there for hours almost every day. The waves smashing against the rocks. The warm, really warm ocean water- I went swimming every single day- even when it rained. One day out for a walk I saw a parrot- just walking down the path! Everything was so lush and green. The prettiest place on earth maybe. And I know I already wrote about watching the tarantula fighting the chicken! ha ha I was mesmerized. The chicken won in the end....but that tarantula added to my whole- don't put your hands or face or even feet where you cannot see! The rainy season there is June thru Aug or Sept.....but it was still raining (not every day but often) when we left at the end of Nov. Oh and it's still humid and sticky when it's raining.

Ok so we moved north to the Sonoran desert on the Sea of Cortez. The winter was cold and rainy, the spring got warm warmer and slid into blistering heat. Hotter than Playa Ventura- unbearable. The desert also has boasting rights for scorpions- there they have some huge one and then a tiny one more dangerous than all the others! The desert is dry, dirt everywhere. We lived on a dirt road just like in Playa Ventura. We did have hot water- altho once it started to warm up we stopped using it. The truth is you can wash your dishes in cold water and get them clean. I learned that in Guerrero.I was careful to be sure they were really clean, and guess what? We didn't die. I had the amazing opportunity to teach English to adults out at a community center where the poorest of people lived; they came for lunch every day, and for many, it was the only meal they had that day. But- people were happy, and loving and giving. It's weird- I wrote about people not having hope for the future, and yet they are happy today. That's what  mean about being complicated. But when I stop trying to understand every single thing....it's easier to exist.

We stayed almost a year in Puerto Penasco. My husband had some friends and he worked selling jewelry he made to tourists on the beach. But I grew less, well, happy. I didn't like the weather, and it wasn't pretty like the tropics. It was the desert. Hot and dirty and bland. Yes there are pretty cactus, hmmm not sure I can go on from there. My husband is a wonderful man, so we came over to Baja to "check it out". It was hot in September, but NOT humid! It was pretty, and it was the Pacific again. I was instantly ready to go ha ha. We talked an visited here again. We decided and we moved here last November. I am really happy here. And truthfully it's all about the weather. I have not been able to find a place to interact to improve my Spanish, but I did find a website I really like. Everardo has not been able to find a place to sell his jewelery- people have their spots and guard them closely. However he is talking to a couple of people- one in Ensenanda in the tourist area, and one out at the Bufadora where people flock to- it's always packed. He's not looking really hard and I don't want him to push. We are cruising along right now. He got a new fishing reel and goes out to the estuary and next is going to try open ocean. We are both working out with the free gym equipment in an empty house down the road. He runs with the dogs in the afternoon. He goes to Spanish AA meetings and I got to English - I could use the Spanish meetings to practice- but we need some things just for ourselves, ya know? It's foggy sometimes in the morning- that's familiar to me. Supposedly it doesn't get really cold or really hot- and never humid. I think I'm good with that!

We can afford to live here without jobs, living off the income of the rental house we have in Calif. Our life is quiet, we enjoy our dogs, our beach, and our nightly walks along the estuary.
I have changed emotionally over the last 2 years. I am more patient (sometimes) I am in acceptance much more of the time. I am more thoughtful. I am much more grateful, especially for the little things. Wow I feel like I've been writing for hours and not even sure if I said everything I had in my mind to write when I thought about it last nite as I fell asleep. Oh-

We are in Baja and just 2.56 hours from the border- someone said not the real Mexico. As soon as we cross the border we are in Mexico. Anywhere in Mexicoyou can surround yourself with expats if you want to, or you can live as a Mexican, or somewhere in between. I guess we're in between leaning towards living as Mexicans since my husband is one already ha ha.

Did I say I love Mexico?

Ants and mouses

Before I left on my trip to Calif we had an ant problem. When the weather began to get warmer, even warmer than the nice mild winter we experienced, in late march early April the ants came. Remember the song ...The ants came marching 2 by 2 hurrah hurrah ...and the ants came marching down, to the ground.....Well they marched into our house. In one day we were drowning in ants. Yes I had seen one walking along a countertop or near the stove, and usually I squish them with a finger. But I also had forgotten about the "chemical trail" they leave so the others know where to go. I don't thin me wiping a soapy sponge afterwards would have helped. Everything in the cupboards had to come out, lots of stuff thrown away. I wanted to use natural remedies, soapy water, water and vinegar, chalk lines, etc. They kept coming. We put everything into airtight bins or in the fridge. They kept coming. We'd get up every morning and wipe everything down. And then they seemed to slow down. Yipee.

We still kept most stuff out of the cupboards and have given up on cereal...somehow they still broke into the plastic jugs.  So I left on my trip. I forgot about ants.....

I talked to Everardo on the phone. He was laughing so hard trying to tell me. He noticed something fall onto the keyboard of his laptop- he looked closer, and it was ants! He looked up and there was a thick line of ants walking across the beam on the ceiling, heading for a plastic bag hanging on a knob, filled with individual packs of Ritz crackers- you know the rolls with about 20 cracker in the- they had been in a bigger box we bought a Costco, but that box had been filled with ants by the first day. Our ceiling is probly 8 feet at the most- I can a;most touch it, and he can for sure. The ants were falling over each other and down onto my husband, his chair and his computer! He bought some stuff we heard about that was odorless, and put it around outside, and I suspect, inside. I haven't seen any ants since I got home, but the last couple of nites I've gotten back up after going to bed because of the noise.....mice.

So Poppi told me oh yeah we have a mouse problem as well. But they are very small. Yeah well they leave what we politely call mouse droppings everywhere. Mouse poop. Why do they poop so much? Do they poop as soon as they eat something? Or do they just poop everywhere all the time? I needed the A&D ointment; I got a new tattoo in Calif...well a couple actually and needed it. Ok side story about the tattoo:

The first full day I was there I went to "my" tattoo guy, at Eye Spy Tattoos. It is the only place I have ever gone, and Tim is the only tattooist? Is it tattooist? Or simply tattoo guy? Anyway Tim has done all my tattoos. I got the first one when I was 50 years old; I called it my freedom tattoo. It was right after I became single after being married for 15 years. I don't know, I had been thinking about a tattoo for some time, and once  I was single- well I answered to me. I actually went down to the place- and now I don't remember who told me about him, maybe my daughter...and I went just to look. I wanted a dragonfly. He was not busy and grabbed my arm and drew one on with a pen and said "like this?". Yeah exactly like that! I wanted it to be purple and green, and put it on my left arm, inside the forearm (between my elbow and wrist). I got it right then. I loved it! Ha ha a week later I was back and on the other arm got a peace sign...and then it was on. My left arm has a ring of dragonflies now, and a vine winding thru them, and the words "vive in el momento" and a couple of tiny dragonflies in the vines. All of it is probly less than 6 inches wide from right below my elbow. My other arm is a different story. At first it was just peace signs, then a world with a peace sign in it, and then the word "peace" in English, Arabic, Spanish, Russian and Japanese, in different colors and fonts, and the words Let peace begin with me. Oh and 2 birds in a heart with a peace sign, which I later added some sunburst stuff to....I also have the words esperanza and acceptance.

And now I have a penguin, a very small penguin down near my wrist with his arms out saying "oh well" in honor of my mom. It says Elly underneath. She always said "oh well" sometimes long and drawn out like oooooh weellllll in her later years. The penguin is about at the end, when she was, well I guess hallucinating, about people, about what was happening around her, and she pulled me close to say she didn't like how they were treating the penguins and we said we'd get right on it. Even though it was hard, we laughed alot with her at the end. At one point she wanted Captain Jack to be in charge, and we'd train all the baby animals, and then charge people to see them do tricks....Oh and we never did find out who Captain Jack was....some mysterious person from her past? And no not the Captain Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean, we asked that right off and she indignantly told us NO! She always wanted to look her best for him, and talked to me about that fluttery feeling when HE walks in...it was like we were two girls in high school that afternoon. Love you mommy. So the penguin thing stuck- with me anyhow. They have become special to me. And they always always make me think of her.

Ok so three days before I came home I got another tattoo. On my right shoulder, so although there is a lot of open space, I basically have tattoos on my whole arm. I got flowers- oranges and reds- I wanted something bright, and with- of course- a couple of dragonflies (ooops they've migrated to the other arm), but you have to look for them, they look like flowers, it is an amazing tattoo and I love it. However, it is the biggest one I ever got, and I have to keep it covered with ointment and out of the sun. It's now a week and a half, so it's healed pretty much, but shit- I live at the beach with alot of hot direct sun, so I'm trying to cover it up when I go outside. I told someone my tattoos are a 50's thing. But I realize I need to say it differently. They are not from the 50's. I am not stuck in the 50's (maybe the 60/70's since I wear tye dye all the time, one earring or maybe 2 different ones -which really comes from losing one of a pair and always my favorites). No, the tattoos are a thing of my 50's... when I turn 60 in a few years I will be done. I might be done now....but naaaa...I thinkin' more flowers....So anyway....at my daughter's house I used her A&D ointment....ah ha! See how I finally came full circle?

I knew we had a big tube of A&D at home, hubby uses it on his poor feet that get dry and cracked, me for tattoos etc. BUT- when I opened the drawer.....at least 6 bites marks in each tube!! It wouldn't be so bad if we used for non broken skin....but -and I'll now have to google it- mice carry dieseases! They are dirty little critters- I mean come on...they poop everywhere.....

So Poppi had been dealing with ants and the mouses! He actually put some powder used mainly for agriculture..in the house, and of course I freaked out about it..I hate poison, in spray, in powder....I mean since I let them poison me with chemo (yes it's poison- the point is to kill fast growing cells which is why your hair falls out- so it must be poisoning me all over), so now I am totally paranoid about any kind of poison. I wiped most of it up with wet paper towels holding my breath...I went out to the shed and wrote down what the sack said, then looked it up in English. It's pretty common and also used in indoor stuff like Raid (which I hate), so I'm probably ok...maybe. So the ants are gone the mouses are not gone. They merely change paths. They sound like miniature construction workers out in the kitchen at nite. The ointments and lotions are in sealed bags and are now untouched. They seem mostly to be out on the kitchen counters, altho I think maybe in some drawers...yuck. So today we bought mouse traps- interesting we had to go to 4 places...although in place #2 they had the kind that is a glue strip. We both agreed we did not want that. Came home and he set out 4, and in about 6 hours now, we've already caught 2. Everardo said a boy and a girl- and I said how can you tell and he said the boy had balls like this!! and he cupped his hands! ha ha ha hah!!

I missed my beach living. The ocean immediately offers me serenity when I sit quietly and watch it. I finally got out this meditation set of cds I bought right before we left for Mexico 2 years ago. Yes!! We left the first Monday in June- the 4th, 2012 and arrived in our first home down south a week later. That was also on the Pacific, but now we are on a bay, and so the waves are not crashing, not huge, and because we are much further north, the water is not as warm. I came home with a cold, so I gave myself until Monday to restart my exercise and stricter eating. I did dance/walk 3 days this week, including today, but have not started back to the weights, although I'm excited to begin again. Mexico is my home. I love it here. It's crazy and interesting, the same as anywhere I think. I'm excited to resume my plan of health and learning...I only worked on my Spanish once this week, but that felt good as well. I hope to reflect and then hopefully write about who I am after 2 years in Mexico, sometime in the next few days. I have been reflecting, I kind of do it all the time, especially after visiting up in Calif and coming back. I have changed, but don't we all change, all the time? I think, if not for my daughters I would be happy to stay here forever....ha ha but that thought will probly also change at some point.

Hmmm how many traps will I hear snap tonite???
Viva

Back home to Mexico

Well I've been home for a week today (Thurs). I came home with a horrible cold, couldn't even talk by Friday and have felt simply shitty until about yesterday, when I woke up feeling great. So I went down to the beach and danced my butt off to resume my exercise....ha ha...and woke up during last nite coughing and with an aching chest. Ok so today I took it a little slower. But- and this is very cool....I started the today with my coffee in my chair by the beach watching the waves, bot dogs by my side, and then finished the day off by doing the same thing. It's not dark yet, so I came in before the sunset, but yeah- getting my balance back...my acceptance, my serenity. Did I say I love it here? I love you Mexico!

Northern California was nice. The weather was amazing, and my daughters everything I could have hoped for. Little drama with daughter #2- always right? But (thank you God) it was with or about me!! She will be 21 in just a few weeks and has been living at home with my ex and his wife, but apparently it has not been all rainbows and unicorns- yes the ego me is not unsatisfied with that ha ha- but honestly I want my daughters to be happy, confident and self assured, and for that to be, those around them, those who influence them- well I want the best for them as well- simply because they affect my children. Ok so anyway- my daughter has had a hard time not being the only star in her father's eyes, and so was not really nice about it. Meaning: sullen, disrespectful, etc.....so as a young adult it was time for her to move out, and she's doing that. She's very excited about it and I am so happy for her! Instead of leaving something, she's going towards something. She moving to a small town, a college community in many respects and she and her roommates are all in school so she has many happy plans.

My older daughter started a new job, closer to home and in the field she wants her career in. So everything is working out for everybody, this is all a mom can ask for. They took me to Armstrong Woods for Mother's Day- a grove of redwoods with trails and picnic areas, a place I love, I like to simply breathe in there, I like to rub the spiney leaves on my hands so they smell like the trees. It was a perfect day. It started with a beautiful brunch at a hotel, then we went to the Redwoods. I love them both so much! I also got to spend alot of time with my "future" granddaughter, she calls me Grandma Terry and I consider her my granddaughter already....I got to go on 2 field trips with her kindergarten class. One was a mentor appreciation day. Ha ha the 3rd graders mentor the kindergartners! So about 200 kids walked from school to a nearby park for a bbq and games and fun. Then at the end of the week,  at about 7am, my daughter comes in and says -we're going on the school bus field trip to Armstrong Woods! (The "real"- and of course as I am completely un-objective I use the term "real" loosely ha ha- had to cancel about an hour before) So I went to the redwoods a second time, this time with only about 90 kids (ouch), and we explored, saw a banana slug, listened to the woods, laid on our backs on the benches in the amphitheater and counted shades of green and how many different birds we heard...had a sack lunches...I was happy and tired. Then- they announced the hike to the waterfall!!! AAARRRGGGHHH I was tired- hike to a waterfall!! Ha ha talk about trudge the road of happy destiny...(AA reference)....I was wiped out. Yep I'm a grandma- not a mom of a 5 year old!

Other things....oh we went to see the place my daughter wants to get married at- it's a castle that's a winery- or a winery with a castle I guess. We went after she got home from work from her first day, and the place had just closed. My daughter is nothin' if not determined. She wanted me to see it. Ad I am not allowed to say the name, or show any of the fantastic pictures I took, either. After they both got laid off jobs last summer, they lived off their savings- which included their wedding fund, and that's why the wedding has been moved to next summer. This place is very very expensive. She wants a fairy tale wedding and is willing to work for the money to pay for it- so I say- go for it! I'm sure I wrote about this before. So now I got to see the place she is dreaming of- no wait- the place she planning on. So did I say it was closed? Ha! We were at one set of huge gates that we could not figure out how to open and decided to go to the other set. Well as we got there, the last employee was coming out, so we flew thru the open gates, just before they swung closed. Uh oh- but in totally me and my daughter's style decided to worry about that when we wanted to leave. So we drove in, parked along a side road, jumped a small hedge and went to look at this awesome castle and the amazingly beautiful grounds. Oh did I say 5 yr old granddaughter was with us? She asked if we were going to jail.....I told her she was our ticket to stay out of the pokey- her sweet smile...Anyway the grounds are so beautiful; roses everywhere, a big fountain, statues, big patches of thick green lawns, and then the castle itself. We talked about a couple of places they could have the ceremony, where they food would be, the dancing, everything. My daughter's face- she was excited, awed, happy, and she was darting all over the place to show me this and that. It will be....amazing, awesome, epic...everything she wanted- a fairy tale wedding. Oh and when we finally left as the sun was going down, the big gates swung open automatically as we approached...so we were never really stuck, even tho' we talked about ramming thru the gates with the big truck we were in, but I told her that might create a problem for her wedding if she is forbidden on the grounds......

My granddaughter is a hoot. She talks to herself to the point of me jumping up and running out to the front room because I thought she had opened the door to someone. Nope- she teaches school- to her "kinders". They all have names and need frequent discipline. Sometimes Cookie is in the class and so has to wear her leash in the house, and all her chew toys get put up on the table to get her attention. ha ha. Cookie is only 6 months old, but big enough to get her paws up on kitchen counters and strong as an ox. But the sweetest puppy dog who instantly won my heart. She slept with me a few nites, and we went on a couple of walks- well she pulled me around the neighborhood. She's at that stage where she steals shoes, clothes, my new camera (it was unscathed), did I say shoes? and then makes a beeline for the back sliding door to take her treasure out to the lawn. I love that silly mutt. Kids and dogs- yeah that's what life's about. 

I saw a few other friends, saw my house and our renters. They are such a wonderful couple and the house- now their home- looks fabulous. Everything is green and growing, they use the backyard all the time, and he showed me this wireless doorbell they attached to the front door and you can plug in the bell anywhere so when they are so often in the backyard they can now hear it when somebody comes to the door. Cool. We couldn't be happier with them renting our house. When and if we ever go back up there to live, we can't afford to live in that house- need the income...and this trip I let go of it, just a tiny bit. I love that house, more than any I've ever lived in...but unless we win the lottery....yeah I own it free and clear, but property tax, insurance, and utilities in that area....big ouch! Yeah we could live there if we worked....but I don't wanna!!

So the trip was nice, but different than last year. This year it really felt like you can't go home again. I mean I felt exactly at home with both my daughters, but otherwise I felt like  visitor, which I am. I love Petaluma but am no longer married to the idea that we need to live there. I want to be near my kids, but Santa Rosa, or further north, or west towards the beach would be fine. A granny unit on someone's property. Living in this tiny trailer- although apparently it's a "double wide" (oh god oh god)- but with all the outdoors we have here, the beach, the estuary, the open fields....it's outside I crave now. Tiny inside is cozy, less to clean, and warm.....

I had a crazy funny day with my best girlfriend (oh bff right?) who went with me to me -LAST as it turned out- oncology appointment. My cancer doctor said he never wants to see me again! Yippee! 5 years clear of cancer. Yeah baby! Anyway after that, we went to a mall in San Rafael, first to Macy's where I made myself not look at anything, and then to Kohls which is like the old Mervyns...more affordable, and then found out they don't check you at the dressing rooms! ha ha you can take all the clothes in you want, and I immediately noticed nobody bothered to take the discarded clothes out....they were just in piles on the floor. So after telling my bff I was ok with my body image; that yeah I'm overweight, but starting to make different choices about food, and getting into exercise down here with my beach dancing/walking and the free gym.....I start to try on a swimsuit and she yells "I'm comin' in" I protest, and then say- "yeah I'm ok with my fat but not while I'm stuffing it into a plastic bag!". In she came anyway with an armload of clothes, and pretty soon we were trying stuff on in the hallway outside the dressing room! Oh forgot to say she had the same swimsuit so put it on and we took a "selfie!!" in the dressing room mirror- laughing like we were in jr high! I have NOT posted that pic on facebook and do not plan to do so....After that we went back to her place- and it's so funny! She is living in a "double wide" too! And yes this is in northern Cal not Kentucky or Louisiana.....or wherever it is that people live in trailers, marry their first cousins and are on episodes of Cops! (Is that still on the air? Bet it is). She is in a nice park at the north end of town, and her mobile home is basically the same size as ours, just a different layout, but 2 beds 2 bath. She is so happy- it is the first home she bought herself- she is no longer a renter. It needs work and she's doing it. It was fun and comfy and...real to be there with her. Love you girlfriend!

I saw my dear Russian friend, once with her hubby and they made me a vege pizza from all homegrown and homemade ingredients as well as a yummy Russian soup. But the second time I saw her was the best- no husbands- just her and I, and we got to talk, from our hearts and souls. She and I have had a special connection since the day we met, and can talk about anything. She has been in the U.S. for just a few years; came by way of marrying her American husband...but we are close in age, and thought and heart, so we talk, talk talk. She will come to visit us soon we hope. I saw another friend I used to work with and we have only communicated thru email or fb msging. We met for lunch and fell instantly into easy conversation. She just got engaged and I'm so happy for her. It's funny there are just some people that you can go forever and not see, then see them and it's as if you were just apart minutes. Had coffee with yet another woman, who husband had been Halla's soccer coach for years, and she and I chat thru facebook, but are a little closer than that. She loves my daughter and offered her a safe port in the storm while she was struggling with things at her dad's house. I love her for that.

So it was a more thoughtful trip. Family and closer friends. Yes, I went to some AA meetings, some in Petaluma so I saw many old and new faces. One day when Drew was with me I was asked about 5 minutes before the meeting to be the speaker and that was very cool. Down here, at least in the English meetings there are no speaker meetings, all just open discussion, so it was nice to hit a few speaker meetings, and to be a speaker. But I will say this- except for my daughters, I could stay here in Mexico forever (at least that's how I feel now).

I caught a cold- I'm sure from one of those little kindergartners! It really hit the day before I left so I just tried to ignore it. By the time I got on the place Thursday morning I was full blown sick- yeah and just saw a news story about germs on a plane ha ha. Actually, I had to get up at 5:45 am to catch the 6:15 am shuttle to the San Francisco airport. My flight wasn't until 10am, but commute traffic....I foolishly didn't eat or pack some fruit and nuts and a pb&j sandwich like I did on the way up, so by by the time I got to the gate with about an hour and a half to go, I was really sick...my carry ons were soooo heavy because I bought some clothes, a camera, a fishing reel...etc etc etc so my suitcase was overweight, so I was dragging. Of course it was a full flight, with kids and all. Some kids who were running all over the place while the mom ate and talked on the phone. I KNEW they would be seated next to me-hmmm well at least I could give them my cold...ok just kiddding...kind of..... Then I hear there is a long wait list including 2 pilots who want to catch a lift. A third pilot shows up and gets really pissed off when they say they are not even writing down anymore names because the list is so long. Then I find out that SFO has some runways closed for repair so if your plane misses it's place in line, then your flight can be delayed up to an hour and a half. Oh so I didn't mention I had these 2 posters that had been too long to fit in my suitcase..and although light as paper, constituted a 3rd carryon and they weren't going to let me take it (2 taped together so it- not them). I was so sick I didn't care. They were AA posters of the 12 steps and 12 traditions in English because the place I got to meetings- which are all and only in English, have all the stuff on the walls in Spanish. Then in my fevered head I made up a story wherein I left the posters right there at the gate, somebody found them and decided to put them up. So an AA meeting started in the airport which became very popular for travelers, (crazy eh?), and then next year when I came back thru I attended the meeting and heard the story of how the meeting came to be. Then I was so humble I never told them it was me. Ha ha ha ha ha what an ego I have eh? Ok so thru this fantasizing I hear the woman at the gate make an announcement that there is one seat available in first, pls come up if you are interested. I am sitting so close I merely lean forward and whisper loudly..."how much?" Well one of them tells me it's only $89...and I look at the screaming kids, the pissed of pilots and the long line for standby....and I ask her "do you take debit cards?" Yep. So she tells me stuff one end of the posters in the outside pocket of my laptop case and then I will "technically" only have 2 carry ons. Uh....ok. So I am the first person on the place, first row next to the window, sipping coffee and orange juice in real cups.....and watch the fun begin. They were trying to rush people in very polite voices...saying we were going to lose our place in line....the monster children were...well being monsters, but they disappeared down into coach somewhere never to heard of, by me anyway, again, and I closed my eyes. During the hour and a half flight I listened to the very funny flight attendant make jokes and tell us how Virgin Atlantic Airlines came to be, and be pampered with pretty fruits, humus and pita bread, and a tiny chocolate truffle that was exquisite. Going first was like my own little perfect storm- if I hadn't been that sick, the screaming kids, the arguing pilots wanting to catch a lift, my heavy backpack and laptop case, both stuffed to the point of bursting....if any of those things had been different I could not have justified to myself spending the money....I spent quite enough during my stay ha ha.

It was also my first time walking across the border at Tijuana. It was super easy- except for the whole being sick and heavy stuff part.... I took a bus from the airport for $1.25 right to the trolly. The trolley was $2.50 and took me right to the border. The correct trolley is called The Blue Line, but the trolley is red....hmmm in my sickness I stared at it for a long time and a lovely young lady asked if she could help me and showed me how to buy the ticket and helped push my suitcase up the step into the trolley. The walk is pretty short but a steep incline which I think is crossing the highway but I'm not sure. I only looked at my feet saying...step step step because I felt so shitty I was thinking about sitting down on the walkway. So I walked right thru, a nice Mexican policewoman asked me with a smile on her face if I had "cigarros? armas? alcohol?" To which I replied no, solo ropa (only clothes) and she told me told me to have a nice afternoon. I walked into the sunlight and there was my wonderful darling husband who jumped forward and grabbed ALL my stuff! He also handed me a small package wrapped in newspaper, which was 2 little dragonflies he bought at a stand while waiting for me. Home sweet home. I slept most of the way home, and then was sick for 4 or 5 days. Someone sent me an email from the states asking if I was ok- that many times Mexicans visiting the states got into trouble drinking the water. ha ha.
Viva

I love the ocean here- or- another beautiful sunset

OMG!! So I got home a little while ago and the sun was a huge fiery orange ball at the mouth of the bay..when I walked past the house I could see a big fishing boat passing right in front of it..the kind that look like a tug boat in front and a long back...so beautiful. Then, much closer to shore (and to me) I see dolphins...first 2, then 4...Pelicans swooping in so I know there's fish. I yell to Everardo, who grabs his fishing pole and gets down to the beach and walks into the surf. The sunset is pinks and oranges, the sun dipped below the water...it's getting dark, and...more dolphins..some right near him. Of course then Sam swam out and watching in the diminishing light, the silhouette of the man, his fishing pole and his dog coming into shore. Overwhelming how beautiful life is and how suddenly we are reminded of it! Viva!

I wrote the paragraph above a couple of days ago on my facebook page. The weather is so nice that sitting outside as the sun goes down is becoming a 'best part of the day' thing. The next morning when I woke up the dolphins had been out there fora couple of hours. I sat with my coffee, mesmerized...the neighbor said they come every day during the summer. Then yesterday afternoon, we had just come back from Ensenada and there were a couple of them and they seemed to be playing....jumping up and swimming in circles. Yeah they were probably fishing but I like to think they were playing. A little later Everardo and Sam & Hazel went down to the water for a swim....and the dolphins showed back up! He called to me to come so I threw on my suit and ran down to the water....we waded way out- the water is shallow for a long way....ha ha this is where I should be saying AND THEN WE SWAM WITH THE DOLPHINS.... wrong. We didn't. But it was still one of the coolest things I've ever done!! We were maybe 50-75 yards away from where one was swimming back and forth. 

So maybe this is going to be the summer of the dolphins eh? I'm good with that. We've been back and forth to Ensenada almost every day during the past week, lovely road construction, and every day life, so a some dolphin action is good. 

I'm going to the states in a couple of days, for a couple of weeks. I'm so excited to see my daughters! And Danica- my soon to be granddaughter (official after the wedding- but what the hell she's mine NOW), asked me on the phone to go on her school field trip! YES YES I'll go! And the icing on the cake is that it's to Armstrong Woods which is a grove of redwood trees that I love and was already planning to visit while I'm there. I like to rub the trees and just breathe them in. And we're goin' on the school bus...oh boy a bunch of kindergartners on the bus....

Well I'm getting ready to go, have little gifts for all, plan to spend as much of my time as I can with my kids, and see just a couple of friends. I had more to write about, but I'm really distracted- I keep stopping my writing here so I can add to my "to do" list....so what's swirling in my head would be boring to read. 

I just hope I remember to take this peaceful place with me; that I don't fall into old habits -like resentment when I see my little sister...ok tiny bit of sarcasm...yeah she actually agreed to come out of her hobbit hole and come to a bbq at my daughter's this coming Friday nite. I'm pretty surprised since she hasn't replied to a single message I've sent her over the last 9 months or so. Her husband's had some pretty serious medical issues, but I hear it from her kid- the one who lived with us for a year- and I wrote to her to try to be a sister and support, maybe comfort...nada. And my other brother in law is not in the greatest shape either, so I wrote and asked her about taking a trip with me in the fall to see them...no answer. Yeah yeah I know-acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. So what does that mean when I see her? I just act like nothing? Like she didn't blow me off continually when I reached out to her? hmmm maybe yes, I just accept, visit with her, but remember that afterwards....zero. Well something like that, but I do know I have to let go of resentment, and not try to push at her to communicate with me. I need to share my life with people who want to be in my life. Too bad our relationship sucks. But I am very happy that I'm now very close to my older sister, and closer to my brother than I've ever been. 

 Did I say I'm going to get the word acceptance tattooed on my arm? I'm also going to get a penguin with his flippers raised up saying "oh well" to honor my mom and her name underneath. I'm also going to see my sponsor Veronica who I love, and my old sponsor but always my very close friend Scott. His wife was diagnosed after me, with a much worse cancer, and she has been going thru stem cell transplants. I really am not sure how she's doing- Scott doesn't write about it, but he'll tell me in person. It's funny (funny strange not funny ha ha) that right after I found out I had breast cancer 2 of my guy friend's wives were diagnosed with other types of cancer, and one passed away already, the other with cancer of the blood I think and is doing the stem cell transplants of her own stem cells. So as it turns out- I was the lucky one....Weird eh? Yes, in 3 days I have a mammogram- last year I became very anxious as the date drew near, but this year I am not afraid. This will mark 5 years cancer free. So I will tell everyone I love that I love them, and hug everybody really hard. I will walk Cookie, Drew's dog, and talk to the universe and remember how grateful I am for my life and everyone in it. Not sure if I'll write here or not, but will for sure report on the trip when I get back. 

Viva

Mexico has so many sides...

Mexico is so, conflicting I guess I'll say. I think it's a different word- meaning that there are so many conflicting or opposite sides to things. Mexico is so beautiful, yet so harsh. There are soooo many poor people here. I mean I know there's a middle class, I just don't know where they are. Some days it just smacks me right in the face and other days I seem not to see it, or at least I seem not to be affected at times. The other day we were driving somewhere and I saw this young woman, maybe mid 20's, and she was carrying a huge bundle- maybe it was laundry, a baby, and a daughter maybe 8 yrs old holding a toddler by the hand. They did not look upset or anything; in fact the kids looked fine- but the woman looked- not tired but maybe fatigued. I thought-this is her life. No car, probly no job, more kids to come, trudging down a dirt road alongside the traffic. Not looking for a ride or anything, just living. I cried. To myself, just a little...was she happy? Maybe she was, maybe she has no expectations, maybe being a mom- no I can't even write this sentence..being a mom and lugging huge bags along the road with a bunch of kids in tow. Does she live in a nice house? A house? Truthfully, there lots of houses without indoor plumbing. Not sure why she affected me so much. I have seen much worse in Mexico, I have seen much worse here in this part of Mexico. We drove all over Ensenada when we first started coming over here to find a place to live.

It was not unlike the little towns surrounding Morelia, mixtures of a few really nice "grand" places, lots of tiny places along windy roads or up & down hills, storefronts everywhere; people's homes are little grocery stores, restaurants, they sells clothes or shoes or baby accessories. Hot food is for sale everywhere, and so you are always smelling something delicious. And on the back streets are the houses with dirt floors, or no plumbing, or overflowing with too many family members. The disparity between the rich and the poor here is astonishing. There are rich people, poor people, really poor people and the really really poor people.

The place Everardo's sister lives is just a tiny room. It's not too far away from the little town he was born in and lived until he went out on his own at age 9. Yes I said age 9. He is now in his early 50's and she is at least 8-10 years older than him, but looks 20 years older. When we were there she was saving her money to get a place for herself. But the words were...old....like maybe she has been saying it for a long long time. She says it in a tired way. She is a very kind woman, very loving, and I met her adult daughter and son. On their street as well there was fresh made breads for sale and we ate yummy bites of bread and meat and cheese before we went out to the cemetary to visit their mother's grave. 

I find out about my husband's early life in bits and pieces. When we were walking with the dogs by the estuary and Sam scared a rabbit out of the brush and then Sam & Hazel gave chase- Hazel runs like the rabbit with short short short and then a long leap that puts out ahead, but the rabbit got away- anyway- Everardo started telling me about hunting squirrels with his girl cousins when he was about 6 years old, and they hunted them to eat. Rabbits and squirrels. After his mom dies when he was about 6, they stayed with their grandma, but there wasn't always enough for them. His cousins, I think their dad went up to the states looking for work, and so all the kids were at grandmas...not sure about their mom, who is the aunt Everardo is close to in Calif now. Poppi was the youngest with his big sister trying to be a mom, and she could have only been a teenager when they became orphans. I think I wrote this back when we visited Morelia about a year and a half ago, but I met his brother Pablo, and Pablo cried and told me they (his other brother and his sister) didn't take good care of him. He's a very very sweet man, so loving and Poppi loves him very much, and doesn't blame anyone for his childhood. When he was 9, he left that tiny town and went to Morelia and he and I sat in the square drinking coffee where he shined shoes as a 9 yr old to get money to eat. Slept wherever he could. Then he got with a guy who took him to work in the fields, and he grew up doing that. Working in the fields, sleeping in tents or outside; he said he always ate good, that they were always fed in the fields, sometimes they were paid in sacks of corn or beans. When he was 16 he made his way up to the United States, to Gilroy, where his aunt and uncle were. He worked in the fields there as well, with his aunt. His cousins came and they went to school, but he never did. He taught himself to read and write in English, when he was in jail. I'm not sure how/when he learned to read and write in Spanish. He was the girls- who in my mind-and theirs, too I believe- big brother. He protected them from bullies in school, things like that. I see how much they love him. He talks to his aunt on the phone every few days, and one, Anna has been to visit us twice since we've been to Mexico. Now that we're in Baja she says we'll see alot more of them, and i know he likes that.

He is a beautiful man. He has had a hard life, and as a young man made some bad decisions and made his life harder ha ha....yeah he had his cousins for a family, but he still felt alone in some ways. He always refused help, from anyone for anything. I think the one thing he could control in his life was taking care of himself- and I think this without ever talking to him about it- but it kinda fits. He did get into some trouble that landed him in jail- and that was drugs. I kinda understand that as well...tough guy doesn't need anyone- but I know that's not true- we all need love, people around us loving us. He has turned out to be an amazing, caring, loving man. Even when he was homeless living under a bridge- (when I met him)- he was sober, but trying to help the drunks and addicts around him. Cooking for them, bringing them food. He had nothing and yet he gave what he had. He found work in construction, he showered at the gym, and he helped this poor wretches- but saw himself as fortunate...

So all this about my hubby- well it started out as an example of how I see alot of people here. That they have nothing, so their expectations are low. I see people with nothing, but they are happy. Not everyone of course, but a lot of people. I see people proud of their children; wanting them to better off than they were/are. My husband could be bitter, disgusted, and only out for himself, but he is not. He loves his Mexico, and his people. He has patience....I wish I had that kind of patience. But again, sometimes it seems to be low expectations. I get frustrated here.....20 checkout lanes in a store with only 2 registers open and 50 people in line. Nobody complains (except me). The bank will not replace his debit card with his name on it- we can only get one with his name on it if we go down to Guerrero where we opened the account! The top of my head almost blew off! If we open another account here he can have one.....but to close our current account....yep gotta go to Guerrero. Now my head is spinning around and my eyes are bulging out! But then they gave him a card with a chip in it so when we go to the store and they swipe it, his name shows on their screen...hmmm ok. Ha ha I have to stay out of the telephone company because after a similar, ridiculous scenario in there (I won't bore you with the details) I got mad and started yelling...so it's better for everyone if I just don't go in. Ha ha but I remember hating AT&T, too, so hating utilities is not country specific! 

So it's an interesting life. Sometimes I pay the "gringo tax"- things become twice as much for me, so I have to ask Everardo to go and buy it for me. Sometimes, because I live in an area with a lot of expats, the expats charge us more.ha ha so you can't win for losin'. But then I come home and look at the ocean. I sit in the breeze and watch the birds. It's quiet here, and my dogs run free. Our rent is really cheap and we don't pay water or garbage. Going to the doctor or dentist is affordable. Of course that just makes me madder and madder at the U.S, for getting cheated ALWAYS with health care, insurance, etc. Oh yeah- and car insurance? It's about $80 a year...take that AllState! So when we're driving the truck we always give rides to people on the side of the road. We give when we can help (gave a family living in an old rv a fridge) and Everardo chats with everyone wherever we go. I try to, yeah in English I absolutely talk to anyone.everyone everywhere we go...but here it's been a struggle. Especially for independent strong me. Ha ha trying to tell Everardo to yell at the guy at the telephone company or not being able to straighten out the Dish bill....it's all about communication...and for me...poco a poco. Es verdad??

Is this Spring?..and do dolphins signal awareness?

I don't know if the weather is normal for this time of year or not. I heard that we had an unusually dry and warm winter- I'll attest to that- no much rain at all and except at nite, not too much need for warm jackets- well maybe in Dec and part of Jan.....Now it's tank tops and shorts for a part of the day. Sometimes it's gray and foggy in the morning, sometimes it's windy and gray in the afternoon- I never know which is gonna be when so I every day I wake up and look out the window. If it's already sunny at 8am, it's gonna be a beautiful morning and who knows for the afternoon. If it's gray in the morning, well there's a good chance by noon it will be sunny...but maybe it will stay cooler all day. No problemo! I wear no sleeves almost every day, and carry a sweater or a long sleeved shirt wherever I go. You know- those plaid shirts like the lumberjacks wear. I have blue plaid, red plaid and a kind of multi color one that's really soft. I usually wear shorts, and almost always flip flops, unless I know we're gonna be walking around alot and then it's tennis shoes. Tough life eh? ha ha

I was feeling a little discouraged back on Friday morning- about what I don't know- maybe just a general feeling...yeah remember my husband says I "suffer in paradise"....Maybe cause I'm all gung ho about exercising and eating right and I woke up thinking of hot chocolate....or brownies....hmmmm could I be jonesing on chocolate? I do believe I have an addiction to chocolate not unlike the one I have for alcohol. (Of course I never drove dangerously under the influence of chocolate, or any of the other hundred million things I did to humiliate myself and or put others in danger...) But I notice, as soon as I have some chocolate I want more. And I don't care about the package..Snickers bar, cookies, frosting in the can...it's all goooood. But- if I don't have any chocolate at all, the craving goes away. So it's been more than 3 weeks since I've had any "real" chocolate. I bought these Fiber One chocolate brownies, and don't get me wrong, they taste good- but I would hesitate to call them "chocolatey" It's not real chocolate. But they do satisfy a snacking craving so they work. And for now, I'm good. I'm not struggling trying to pretend I don't want any....for now ha ha.

So this is week 4 of going to the gym 3 days a week. (M-W-F) before my dancewalk. I only spend a little over a half hour there, but I think I'm getting into a rhythm...I know it takes probly 3 months to really see a difference but I'm starting to feel a difference. I using the Bowflex- yeah the one you see on tv? It's about resistance and right now I'm just doing 3 types of arm stuff, and about to increase the weight on 2 of them. It's a weird looking contraption and at first I didn't get that all the "tubes" coming off it were different weights! DUH! But the way they're marked is just really small numbers that are upraised and it's black- so good luck seeing the while you're huffin and puffin....so I took some bright pink nail polish and painted the numbers bigger on them. Don't think anybody's gonna care- don't think anybody besides me goes there...well except Everardo a couple of times and he just hits the heavy bag and does pull ups on this other thing. Yeah I found out my arm are weak! Pull up- ha ha ha- I can barely hand from the damn thing. Ok ok baby steps.

So anyway....Friday morning I went down there to do my workout and it was kinda gray and windy outside and I was sorta feeling sorry for myself....and I do the weight thing where I am facing away from the machine and pulling the weights down to behind my neck, and I am looking out the door at the ocean...and I see a dolphin come up! Ok let me back up. First: free gym equipment yards from my door. Second: beach view walking to the gym and as I exercise. Third: A DOLPHIN!!! I think I do suffer in paradise! Ha ha. Well that sight woke me right up. How lucky am I? I decided to make a commitment to myself, I made a plan..and gave myself goals I can attain (I think). For the next year, I want to concentrate on my health and well being. Exercise- weights and cardio. Eat better. Conquer Spanish. Grow spiritually. All of those things are every day commitments. All those things are do-able. All those things are attainable. Maybe for me right now the dolphins help me back to reality. Every single time I see one I am in awe. I remember how lucky, how grateful I am for my life, where I am, who is near me, my relationship with my kids, my older sister and brother...You know we tend to get complacent...I remember in Hawaii many years ago saying....another beautiful sunset...sarcastically, right? I'm in this amazing place, but I'll bitch at the traffic in Ensenada...or get mad at the tv for showing the same commercials 3 times in a row for the past 3 months. (Ok that still does drive me nuts!) So yeah the newness, the awe, wears off....but little things-or big things like a dolphin, remind me real quick. Awareness is an amazing thing. Of my environment, of my feelings, of those around me...

So life is good. Well we are again spending money like running water- both cars have needed work this month; the truck is already running better but we have to replace the timing belt (I think) before we go on our trip down south- and yes it's weeks away, probly mid June at the earliest but it needs to be done. I have to get my driver's license renewed before we go, and do my visa renewal as well. I think because I am married to a Mexican National, after 2 years I can get on a citizenship path and may get it in a year- we'll find out this June what we have to do. Penasco only gave me a one year license but they gave Everardo a 4 or 5 year. But I think Guerrero gave me 4 or 5 years so I might actually have a Mexican driver's license that will be current after June...hmmmm. We've changed our minds several times now about the purpose of the trip, and now may plan to be in Playa Ventura less than a week. And I know this will sound crazy, but I don't want to leave Sam for more than 3 weeks. He will be here with Hazel, and the woman who's moving in next door may house sit for us- which would be great- but still. Sam is more human than dog. He will miss us terribly. I think he is settling in here, but he still gets anxious sometimes. He lived in our Petaluma house all his life, and when I left him once for 3 weeks he jumped up into my arms when I got home- and this is a 100 pound lab. But when we moved to Playa Ventura, he took awhile to assimilate (me too ha ha), then we moved to Sonora and he had to do it again, but we stayed a year. We've been in this house just 3 months, and added Hazel- who he alternately loves and hates ha ha. She drives him crazy jumping all over him and always trying to steal all the attention. But I also think she's keeping him young, He runs and plays with her on the beach and they wrestle on the rug in the house.

But I'm very excited about this trip. And also really excited to see my daughters. They are so different and I think I will be doing completely different things with each. Drewy has her new job so we will spend both weekends together and I have both of Halla's Wednesdays (her day off) and I'm sure we'll find other time. But this time it does not feel like I'm going "home". I already am home. I'm going to see my kids, and Eveardo's daughter, too. Oh and his aunt and uncle. His uncle was doing poorly and had to have his other leg amputated and they thought he would not survive the operation, but he's home and doing great. So I'm looking forward to that trip as well, and actually it's first, I'm going in May.

And the weather seems to be basically the same there and here. I know that's partly why I feel so comfortable here...ok more than partly I'm sure. Foggy, then nice afternoons- yep that would be Spring and part of summer in Petaluma...ah ha So maybe this is how Spring is supposed to be here. I'm really ok with it. Yeah the ocean is too cold for me, but the dogs and hubby go in. I don't die from the heat in the gym or my dancewalk, and that's a good thing. So: Spring, dolphins, pelicans, hummingbirds all over the place...only thing I need to see now is dragonflys....just kidding- everything is just how it should be....viva!

A pelican convention and a sailboat

Yesterday afternoon it was a pelican convention! I first counted 12, then it was 14 and then 20 pelicans; sometimes a couple more, never less, they just kept flying in. I don't know what they were talking about or what they were voting on- they simply stood on the shore, looking at each other, cocking heads, stretching necks, a little fluffing of feathers. But no strutting, no loud voices, in fact if they were discussing anything it was being done with quiet reserve. But just watching them was sooooo amazing!

As I sat and watched them, alternately with the binoculars and not, in the background a sailboat, way out on the horizon floated lazily...it slowly crossed the bay- altho' it may have been outside the bay, sailing up the coast. Like the other nite as I watched an amazing sunset, I wished for a camera that could due justice to the scene in front of me. But ha ha all's I got is me IPhone for a camera...great for something right in front of me, in perfect light, staying still.....but not that great for the beach.

This afternoon, just before it got dark- well not too dark with that gigantic full moon behind us- anyway Everardo called me outside because the pelicans were back! Not 20, maybe 8 or 10, but there must be a huge school of fish out there because they are nose diving in, then coming back out of the water to dive right back in. Usually after a dive, they sit on the water for awhile, but tonite they were all very busy, Diving in beak first is how the brown pelican fishes, and it's fun to watch. They are big birds, and their wingspread is wide, and at the end of her wings there's a little downflap...they're like a plane! But much prettier, much more interesting, and I'm so happy to have discovered how totally cool they are!

This morning on my dance walk a kid came down to the beach, maybe 7 or 8 years old. He was scared of Sam and I waved him over and introduced him to Sam & Hazel. So he chattered away to me in Spanish, and I actually could follow it pretty good. Except the part where he told me that the clam
shell he was holding had a tiny cangrejo (crab) in it! He had given it to me but I have it back and told him that the dogs liked to chase shells in the water. (These clam shells are hard, and Sam goes underwater to get them and they never break. Hazel digs at them in the sand and chews the edges where the clam has left some of himself, and again- they don't break). So he tossed it to me and as it opened and the little crab fell out, little claws grasping, I was surprised. Then he ran into the water so the friendship between boy and dogs was forged. He told me Sam was his amigo. It killed me to have to leave him, on any other day I would have hung out as long as he was there, but I had my almost last appt for laser light therapy, so I had to go. BUt promised to return in the morning.

The laser light therapy works. My wrists have been perfect since about the second or third time. My hands, fingers actually, have stayed stiff, but getting better. I think I've been 6 times counting today, and I will go once more- maybe twice. I've talked to at least 3 people who use this therapy rather than surgery. I think though, that the proof will be time...we'll see in a couple of months. But for now I am pretty happy with it. Ha ha of course the medical community in the U.S. doesn't like it! No surgery, no pain meds, no rehab, shudder to think!

We're getting a new neighbor, an Argentinian woman. She speaks English but told me she is going to speak to me in Spanish. The guy who lives in the studio on stilts between us and the beach has some medical issues and went back to the states for awhile, so this lady, Eva is moving in. Good- need some Spanish speakers for neighbors!! Oh and we might be getting a new stove which would make me very happy! The one we have is very small- a tiny apartment stove- and the oven is working. Ha ha we tried to bake some fresh fish and the oven never got beyond warm. So I talked to Sonja this afternoon (our landlord) and she said ok tomorrow we see if we can fix it or we'll get you another. Did I say yipee? Everardo says they won't be able to fix it (yippe again), and even if they give us another small one- this one you have to light the pilot for the oven portion every time you want to use it and I don't want to do that. There's room for them to give us a bigger one; right now we have a standing shelf next to it that Everardo built and stained, and I can easily move it under the small bar/counter. I don't like to cook on top of the stove- not meat anyway. I like to bake chicken or pork with vegetables and add some kind of sauce like onion soup or asparagus soup....I'm not good at frying meat. Steaks need to be bbq'd or broiled, right? Luckily my hubby is a good cook and does most of it. When we first met I called him Stone Soup after that old story about the people who had no food and they boiled a big pot of water and put a large stone in it. The someone found a carrot, somebody brought some kind of a root, someone else a potato, an onion, etc. Anyway he could find anything in the cupboards and fridge and come up with something yummy- hence Stone Soup! We're doing a good healthy eating style these days, and have apples, bananas, oranges, and lots of vegetables.

So as always, life is good. The weather is wonderful, I'm in week three of adding the gym to my workout, and love my dance walks with Sam & Hazel. Everardo got some gloves and so is hitting the heavy bag and using some other equipment, too, so we both feel good. Of course there's always stuff...car problems, the dentist, and a house always full of sand. Oh and it turns out Hazel is some kind of shedding dog; she's so small and sheds sooooo much. But hey I think our problems are gold plated. We live on the beach in Mexico, our dogs run free and so do we. Soooo grateful.

Viva!