I love the ocean here- or- another beautiful sunset

OMG!! So I got home a little while ago and the sun was a huge fiery orange ball at the mouth of the bay..when I walked past the house I could see a big fishing boat passing right in front of it..the kind that look like a tug boat in front and a long back...so beautiful. Then, much closer to shore (and to me) I see dolphins...first 2, then 4...Pelicans swooping in so I know there's fish. I yell to Everardo, who grabs his fishing pole and gets down to the beach and walks into the surf. The sunset is pinks and oranges, the sun dipped below the water...it's getting dark, and...more dolphins..some right near him. Of course then Sam swam out and watching in the diminishing light, the silhouette of the man, his fishing pole and his dog coming into shore. Overwhelming how beautiful life is and how suddenly we are reminded of it! Viva!

I wrote the paragraph above a couple of days ago on my facebook page. The weather is so nice that sitting outside as the sun goes down is becoming a 'best part of the day' thing. The next morning when I woke up the dolphins had been out there fora couple of hours. I sat with my coffee, mesmerized...the neighbor said they come every day during the summer. Then yesterday afternoon, we had just come back from Ensenada and there were a couple of them and they seemed to be playing....jumping up and swimming in circles. Yeah they were probably fishing but I like to think they were playing. A little later Everardo and Sam & Hazel went down to the water for a swim....and the dolphins showed back up! He called to me to come so I threw on my suit and ran down to the water....we waded way out- the water is shallow for a long way....ha ha this is where I should be saying AND THEN WE SWAM WITH THE DOLPHINS.... wrong. We didn't. But it was still one of the coolest things I've ever done!! We were maybe 50-75 yards away from where one was swimming back and forth. 

So maybe this is going to be the summer of the dolphins eh? I'm good with that. We've been back and forth to Ensenada almost every day during the past week, lovely road construction, and every day life, so a some dolphin action is good. 

I'm going to the states in a couple of days, for a couple of weeks. I'm so excited to see my daughters! And Danica- my soon to be granddaughter (official after the wedding- but what the hell she's mine NOW), asked me on the phone to go on her school field trip! YES YES I'll go! And the icing on the cake is that it's to Armstrong Woods which is a grove of redwood trees that I love and was already planning to visit while I'm there. I like to rub the trees and just breathe them in. And we're goin' on the school bus...oh boy a bunch of kindergartners on the bus....

Well I'm getting ready to go, have little gifts for all, plan to spend as much of my time as I can with my kids, and see just a couple of friends. I had more to write about, but I'm really distracted- I keep stopping my writing here so I can add to my "to do" list....so what's swirling in my head would be boring to read. 

I just hope I remember to take this peaceful place with me; that I don't fall into old habits -like resentment when I see my little sister...ok tiny bit of sarcasm...yeah she actually agreed to come out of her hobbit hole and come to a bbq at my daughter's this coming Friday nite. I'm pretty surprised since she hasn't replied to a single message I've sent her over the last 9 months or so. Her husband's had some pretty serious medical issues, but I hear it from her kid- the one who lived with us for a year- and I wrote to her to try to be a sister and support, maybe comfort...nada. And my other brother in law is not in the greatest shape either, so I wrote and asked her about taking a trip with me in the fall to see them...no answer. Yeah yeah I know-acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. So what does that mean when I see her? I just act like nothing? Like she didn't blow me off continually when I reached out to her? hmmm maybe yes, I just accept, visit with her, but remember that afterwards....zero. Well something like that, but I do know I have to let go of resentment, and not try to push at her to communicate with me. I need to share my life with people who want to be in my life. Too bad our relationship sucks. But I am very happy that I'm now very close to my older sister, and closer to my brother than I've ever been. 

 Did I say I'm going to get the word acceptance tattooed on my arm? I'm also going to get a penguin with his flippers raised up saying "oh well" to honor my mom and her name underneath. I'm also going to see my sponsor Veronica who I love, and my old sponsor but always my very close friend Scott. His wife was diagnosed after me, with a much worse cancer, and she has been going thru stem cell transplants. I really am not sure how she's doing- Scott doesn't write about it, but he'll tell me in person. It's funny (funny strange not funny ha ha) that right after I found out I had breast cancer 2 of my guy friend's wives were diagnosed with other types of cancer, and one passed away already, the other with cancer of the blood I think and is doing the stem cell transplants of her own stem cells. So as it turns out- I was the lucky one....Weird eh? Yes, in 3 days I have a mammogram- last year I became very anxious as the date drew near, but this year I am not afraid. This will mark 5 years cancer free. So I will tell everyone I love that I love them, and hug everybody really hard. I will walk Cookie, Drew's dog, and talk to the universe and remember how grateful I am for my life and everyone in it. Not sure if I'll write here or not, but will for sure report on the trip when I get back. 

Viva

Mexico has so many sides...

Mexico is so, conflicting I guess I'll say. I think it's a different word- meaning that there are so many conflicting or opposite sides to things. Mexico is so beautiful, yet so harsh. There are soooo many poor people here. I mean I know there's a middle class, I just don't know where they are. Some days it just smacks me right in the face and other days I seem not to see it, or at least I seem not to be affected at times. The other day we were driving somewhere and I saw this young woman, maybe mid 20's, and she was carrying a huge bundle- maybe it was laundry, a baby, and a daughter maybe 8 yrs old holding a toddler by the hand. They did not look upset or anything; in fact the kids looked fine- but the woman looked- not tired but maybe fatigued. I thought-this is her life. No car, probly no job, more kids to come, trudging down a dirt road alongside the traffic. Not looking for a ride or anything, just living. I cried. To myself, just a little...was she happy? Maybe she was, maybe she has no expectations, maybe being a mom- no I can't even write this sentence..being a mom and lugging huge bags along the road with a bunch of kids in tow. Does she live in a nice house? A house? Truthfully, there lots of houses without indoor plumbing. Not sure why she affected me so much. I have seen much worse in Mexico, I have seen much worse here in this part of Mexico. We drove all over Ensenada when we first started coming over here to find a place to live.

It was not unlike the little towns surrounding Morelia, mixtures of a few really nice "grand" places, lots of tiny places along windy roads or up & down hills, storefronts everywhere; people's homes are little grocery stores, restaurants, they sells clothes or shoes or baby accessories. Hot food is for sale everywhere, and so you are always smelling something delicious. And on the back streets are the houses with dirt floors, or no plumbing, or overflowing with too many family members. The disparity between the rich and the poor here is astonishing. There are rich people, poor people, really poor people and the really really poor people.

The place Everardo's sister lives is just a tiny room. It's not too far away from the little town he was born in and lived until he went out on his own at age 9. Yes I said age 9. He is now in his early 50's and she is at least 8-10 years older than him, but looks 20 years older. When we were there she was saving her money to get a place for herself. But the words were...old....like maybe she has been saying it for a long long time. She says it in a tired way. She is a very kind woman, very loving, and I met her adult daughter and son. On their street as well there was fresh made breads for sale and we ate yummy bites of bread and meat and cheese before we went out to the cemetary to visit their mother's grave. 

I find out about my husband's early life in bits and pieces. When we were walking with the dogs by the estuary and Sam scared a rabbit out of the brush and then Sam & Hazel gave chase- Hazel runs like the rabbit with short short short and then a long leap that puts out ahead, but the rabbit got away- anyway- Everardo started telling me about hunting squirrels with his girl cousins when he was about 6 years old, and they hunted them to eat. Rabbits and squirrels. After his mom dies when he was about 6, they stayed with their grandma, but there wasn't always enough for them. His cousins, I think their dad went up to the states looking for work, and so all the kids were at grandmas...not sure about their mom, who is the aunt Everardo is close to in Calif now. Poppi was the youngest with his big sister trying to be a mom, and she could have only been a teenager when they became orphans. I think I wrote this back when we visited Morelia about a year and a half ago, but I met his brother Pablo, and Pablo cried and told me they (his other brother and his sister) didn't take good care of him. He's a very very sweet man, so loving and Poppi loves him very much, and doesn't blame anyone for his childhood. When he was 9, he left that tiny town and went to Morelia and he and I sat in the square drinking coffee where he shined shoes as a 9 yr old to get money to eat. Slept wherever he could. Then he got with a guy who took him to work in the fields, and he grew up doing that. Working in the fields, sleeping in tents or outside; he said he always ate good, that they were always fed in the fields, sometimes they were paid in sacks of corn or beans. When he was 16 he made his way up to the United States, to Gilroy, where his aunt and uncle were. He worked in the fields there as well, with his aunt. His cousins came and they went to school, but he never did. He taught himself to read and write in English, when he was in jail. I'm not sure how/when he learned to read and write in Spanish. He was the girls- who in my mind-and theirs, too I believe- big brother. He protected them from bullies in school, things like that. I see how much they love him. He talks to his aunt on the phone every few days, and one, Anna has been to visit us twice since we've been to Mexico. Now that we're in Baja she says we'll see alot more of them, and i know he likes that.

He is a beautiful man. He has had a hard life, and as a young man made some bad decisions and made his life harder ha ha....yeah he had his cousins for a family, but he still felt alone in some ways. He always refused help, from anyone for anything. I think the one thing he could control in his life was taking care of himself- and I think this without ever talking to him about it- but it kinda fits. He did get into some trouble that landed him in jail- and that was drugs. I kinda understand that as well...tough guy doesn't need anyone- but I know that's not true- we all need love, people around us loving us. He has turned out to be an amazing, caring, loving man. Even when he was homeless living under a bridge- (when I met him)- he was sober, but trying to help the drunks and addicts around him. Cooking for them, bringing them food. He had nothing and yet he gave what he had. He found work in construction, he showered at the gym, and he helped this poor wretches- but saw himself as fortunate...

So all this about my hubby- well it started out as an example of how I see alot of people here. That they have nothing, so their expectations are low. I see people with nothing, but they are happy. Not everyone of course, but a lot of people. I see people proud of their children; wanting them to better off than they were/are. My husband could be bitter, disgusted, and only out for himself, but he is not. He loves his Mexico, and his people. He has patience....I wish I had that kind of patience. But again, sometimes it seems to be low expectations. I get frustrated here.....20 checkout lanes in a store with only 2 registers open and 50 people in line. Nobody complains (except me). The bank will not replace his debit card with his name on it- we can only get one with his name on it if we go down to Guerrero where we opened the account! The top of my head almost blew off! If we open another account here he can have one.....but to close our current account....yep gotta go to Guerrero. Now my head is spinning around and my eyes are bulging out! But then they gave him a card with a chip in it so when we go to the store and they swipe it, his name shows on their screen...hmmm ok. Ha ha I have to stay out of the telephone company because after a similar, ridiculous scenario in there (I won't bore you with the details) I got mad and started yelling...so it's better for everyone if I just don't go in. Ha ha but I remember hating AT&T, too, so hating utilities is not country specific! 

So it's an interesting life. Sometimes I pay the "gringo tax"- things become twice as much for me, so I have to ask Everardo to go and buy it for me. Sometimes, because I live in an area with a lot of expats, the expats charge us more.ha ha so you can't win for losin'. But then I come home and look at the ocean. I sit in the breeze and watch the birds. It's quiet here, and my dogs run free. Our rent is really cheap and we don't pay water or garbage. Going to the doctor or dentist is affordable. Of course that just makes me madder and madder at the U.S, for getting cheated ALWAYS with health care, insurance, etc. Oh yeah- and car insurance? It's about $80 a year...take that AllState! So when we're driving the truck we always give rides to people on the side of the road. We give when we can help (gave a family living in an old rv a fridge) and Everardo chats with everyone wherever we go. I try to, yeah in English I absolutely talk to anyone.everyone everywhere we go...but here it's been a struggle. Especially for independent strong me. Ha ha trying to tell Everardo to yell at the guy at the telephone company or not being able to straighten out the Dish bill....it's all about communication...and for me...poco a poco. Es verdad??

Is this Spring?..and do dolphins signal awareness?

I don't know if the weather is normal for this time of year or not. I heard that we had an unusually dry and warm winter- I'll attest to that- no much rain at all and except at nite, not too much need for warm jackets- well maybe in Dec and part of Jan.....Now it's tank tops and shorts for a part of the day. Sometimes it's gray and foggy in the morning, sometimes it's windy and gray in the afternoon- I never know which is gonna be when so I every day I wake up and look out the window. If it's already sunny at 8am, it's gonna be a beautiful morning and who knows for the afternoon. If it's gray in the morning, well there's a good chance by noon it will be sunny...but maybe it will stay cooler all day. No problemo! I wear no sleeves almost every day, and carry a sweater or a long sleeved shirt wherever I go. You know- those plaid shirts like the lumberjacks wear. I have blue plaid, red plaid and a kind of multi color one that's really soft. I usually wear shorts, and almost always flip flops, unless I know we're gonna be walking around alot and then it's tennis shoes. Tough life eh? ha ha

I was feeling a little discouraged back on Friday morning- about what I don't know- maybe just a general feeling...yeah remember my husband says I "suffer in paradise"....Maybe cause I'm all gung ho about exercising and eating right and I woke up thinking of hot chocolate....or brownies....hmmmm could I be jonesing on chocolate? I do believe I have an addiction to chocolate not unlike the one I have for alcohol. (Of course I never drove dangerously under the influence of chocolate, or any of the other hundred million things I did to humiliate myself and or put others in danger...) But I notice, as soon as I have some chocolate I want more. And I don't care about the package..Snickers bar, cookies, frosting in the can...it's all goooood. But- if I don't have any chocolate at all, the craving goes away. So it's been more than 3 weeks since I've had any "real" chocolate. I bought these Fiber One chocolate brownies, and don't get me wrong, they taste good- but I would hesitate to call them "chocolatey" It's not real chocolate. But they do satisfy a snacking craving so they work. And for now, I'm good. I'm not struggling trying to pretend I don't want any....for now ha ha.

So this is week 4 of going to the gym 3 days a week. (M-W-F) before my dancewalk. I only spend a little over a half hour there, but I think I'm getting into a rhythm...I know it takes probly 3 months to really see a difference but I'm starting to feel a difference. I using the Bowflex- yeah the one you see on tv? It's about resistance and right now I'm just doing 3 types of arm stuff, and about to increase the weight on 2 of them. It's a weird looking contraption and at first I didn't get that all the "tubes" coming off it were different weights! DUH! But the way they're marked is just really small numbers that are upraised and it's black- so good luck seeing the while you're huffin and puffin....so I took some bright pink nail polish and painted the numbers bigger on them. Don't think anybody's gonna care- don't think anybody besides me goes there...well except Everardo a couple of times and he just hits the heavy bag and does pull ups on this other thing. Yeah I found out my arm are weak! Pull up- ha ha ha- I can barely hand from the damn thing. Ok ok baby steps.

So anyway....Friday morning I went down there to do my workout and it was kinda gray and windy outside and I was sorta feeling sorry for myself....and I do the weight thing where I am facing away from the machine and pulling the weights down to behind my neck, and I am looking out the door at the ocean...and I see a dolphin come up! Ok let me back up. First: free gym equipment yards from my door. Second: beach view walking to the gym and as I exercise. Third: A DOLPHIN!!! I think I do suffer in paradise! Ha ha. Well that sight woke me right up. How lucky am I? I decided to make a commitment to myself, I made a plan..and gave myself goals I can attain (I think). For the next year, I want to concentrate on my health and well being. Exercise- weights and cardio. Eat better. Conquer Spanish. Grow spiritually. All of those things are every day commitments. All those things are do-able. All those things are attainable. Maybe for me right now the dolphins help me back to reality. Every single time I see one I am in awe. I remember how lucky, how grateful I am for my life, where I am, who is near me, my relationship with my kids, my older sister and brother...You know we tend to get complacent...I remember in Hawaii many years ago saying....another beautiful sunset...sarcastically, right? I'm in this amazing place, but I'll bitch at the traffic in Ensenada...or get mad at the tv for showing the same commercials 3 times in a row for the past 3 months. (Ok that still does drive me nuts!) So yeah the newness, the awe, wears off....but little things-or big things like a dolphin, remind me real quick. Awareness is an amazing thing. Of my environment, of my feelings, of those around me...

So life is good. Well we are again spending money like running water- both cars have needed work this month; the truck is already running better but we have to replace the timing belt (I think) before we go on our trip down south- and yes it's weeks away, probly mid June at the earliest but it needs to be done. I have to get my driver's license renewed before we go, and do my visa renewal as well. I think because I am married to a Mexican National, after 2 years I can get on a citizenship path and may get it in a year- we'll find out this June what we have to do. Penasco only gave me a one year license but they gave Everardo a 4 or 5 year. But I think Guerrero gave me 4 or 5 years so I might actually have a Mexican driver's license that will be current after June...hmmmm. We've changed our minds several times now about the purpose of the trip, and now may plan to be in Playa Ventura less than a week. And I know this will sound crazy, but I don't want to leave Sam for more than 3 weeks. He will be here with Hazel, and the woman who's moving in next door may house sit for us- which would be great- but still. Sam is more human than dog. He will miss us terribly. I think he is settling in here, but he still gets anxious sometimes. He lived in our Petaluma house all his life, and when I left him once for 3 weeks he jumped up into my arms when I got home- and this is a 100 pound lab. But when we moved to Playa Ventura, he took awhile to assimilate (me too ha ha), then we moved to Sonora and he had to do it again, but we stayed a year. We've been in this house just 3 months, and added Hazel- who he alternately loves and hates ha ha. She drives him crazy jumping all over him and always trying to steal all the attention. But I also think she's keeping him young, He runs and plays with her on the beach and they wrestle on the rug in the house.

But I'm very excited about this trip. And also really excited to see my daughters. They are so different and I think I will be doing completely different things with each. Drewy has her new job so we will spend both weekends together and I have both of Halla's Wednesdays (her day off) and I'm sure we'll find other time. But this time it does not feel like I'm going "home". I already am home. I'm going to see my kids, and Eveardo's daughter, too. Oh and his aunt and uncle. His uncle was doing poorly and had to have his other leg amputated and they thought he would not survive the operation, but he's home and doing great. So I'm looking forward to that trip as well, and actually it's first, I'm going in May.

And the weather seems to be basically the same there and here. I know that's partly why I feel so comfortable here...ok more than partly I'm sure. Foggy, then nice afternoons- yep that would be Spring and part of summer in Petaluma...ah ha So maybe this is how Spring is supposed to be here. I'm really ok with it. Yeah the ocean is too cold for me, but the dogs and hubby go in. I don't die from the heat in the gym or my dancewalk, and that's a good thing. So: Spring, dolphins, pelicans, hummingbirds all over the place...only thing I need to see now is dragonflys....just kidding- everything is just how it should be....viva!

A pelican convention and a sailboat

Yesterday afternoon it was a pelican convention! I first counted 12, then it was 14 and then 20 pelicans; sometimes a couple more, never less, they just kept flying in. I don't know what they were talking about or what they were voting on- they simply stood on the shore, looking at each other, cocking heads, stretching necks, a little fluffing of feathers. But no strutting, no loud voices, in fact if they were discussing anything it was being done with quiet reserve. But just watching them was sooooo amazing!

As I sat and watched them, alternately with the binoculars and not, in the background a sailboat, way out on the horizon floated lazily...it slowly crossed the bay- altho' it may have been outside the bay, sailing up the coast. Like the other nite as I watched an amazing sunset, I wished for a camera that could due justice to the scene in front of me. But ha ha all's I got is me IPhone for a camera...great for something right in front of me, in perfect light, staying still.....but not that great for the beach.

This afternoon, just before it got dark- well not too dark with that gigantic full moon behind us- anyway Everardo called me outside because the pelicans were back! Not 20, maybe 8 or 10, but there must be a huge school of fish out there because they are nose diving in, then coming back out of the water to dive right back in. Usually after a dive, they sit on the water for awhile, but tonite they were all very busy, Diving in beak first is how the brown pelican fishes, and it's fun to watch. They are big birds, and their wingspread is wide, and at the end of her wings there's a little downflap...they're like a plane! But much prettier, much more interesting, and I'm so happy to have discovered how totally cool they are!

This morning on my dance walk a kid came down to the beach, maybe 7 or 8 years old. He was scared of Sam and I waved him over and introduced him to Sam & Hazel. So he chattered away to me in Spanish, and I actually could follow it pretty good. Except the part where he told me that the clam
shell he was holding had a tiny cangrejo (crab) in it! He had given it to me but I have it back and told him that the dogs liked to chase shells in the water. (These clam shells are hard, and Sam goes underwater to get them and they never break. Hazel digs at them in the sand and chews the edges where the clam has left some of himself, and again- they don't break). So he tossed it to me and as it opened and the little crab fell out, little claws grasping, I was surprised. Then he ran into the water so the friendship between boy and dogs was forged. He told me Sam was his amigo. It killed me to have to leave him, on any other day I would have hung out as long as he was there, but I had my almost last appt for laser light therapy, so I had to go. BUt promised to return in the morning.

The laser light therapy works. My wrists have been perfect since about the second or third time. My hands, fingers actually, have stayed stiff, but getting better. I think I've been 6 times counting today, and I will go once more- maybe twice. I've talked to at least 3 people who use this therapy rather than surgery. I think though, that the proof will be time...we'll see in a couple of months. But for now I am pretty happy with it. Ha ha of course the medical community in the U.S. doesn't like it! No surgery, no pain meds, no rehab, shudder to think!

We're getting a new neighbor, an Argentinian woman. She speaks English but told me she is going to speak to me in Spanish. The guy who lives in the studio on stilts between us and the beach has some medical issues and went back to the states for awhile, so this lady, Eva is moving in. Good- need some Spanish speakers for neighbors!! Oh and we might be getting a new stove which would make me very happy! The one we have is very small- a tiny apartment stove- and the oven is working. Ha ha we tried to bake some fresh fish and the oven never got beyond warm. So I talked to Sonja this afternoon (our landlord) and she said ok tomorrow we see if we can fix it or we'll get you another. Did I say yipee? Everardo says they won't be able to fix it (yippe again), and even if they give us another small one- this one you have to light the pilot for the oven portion every time you want to use it and I don't want to do that. There's room for them to give us a bigger one; right now we have a standing shelf next to it that Everardo built and stained, and I can easily move it under the small bar/counter. I don't like to cook on top of the stove- not meat anyway. I like to bake chicken or pork with vegetables and add some kind of sauce like onion soup or asparagus soup....I'm not good at frying meat. Steaks need to be bbq'd or broiled, right? Luckily my hubby is a good cook and does most of it. When we first met I called him Stone Soup after that old story about the people who had no food and they boiled a big pot of water and put a large stone in it. The someone found a carrot, somebody brought some kind of a root, someone else a potato, an onion, etc. Anyway he could find anything in the cupboards and fridge and come up with something yummy- hence Stone Soup! We're doing a good healthy eating style these days, and have apples, bananas, oranges, and lots of vegetables.

So as always, life is good. The weather is wonderful, I'm in week three of adding the gym to my workout, and love my dance walks with Sam & Hazel. Everardo got some gloves and so is hitting the heavy bag and using some other equipment, too, so we both feel good. Of course there's always stuff...car problems, the dentist, and a house always full of sand. Oh and it turns out Hazel is some kind of shedding dog; she's so small and sheds sooooo much. But hey I think our problems are gold plated. We live on the beach in Mexico, our dogs run free and so do we. Soooo grateful.

Viva!

Amazing sunsets and other cool stuff

Last nite the sunset was amazing. We sit at the back of the bay and look straight out into the ocean, with Ensenada on the north side and a mountain peak at the mouth of the north side. For some reason it reminds me of a shot of Hawaii. Last nite as it got dark I was sitting out in my chair overlooking the beach, and the sky just became so beautiful. Next to the mountain top and then behind the sky was painted these vibrant splotches of pink, golden yellow, blue, orange...the color was sharp and in places one color sliced thru another. As I looked across the bay from the south to the north, the sky changed; it was more like waves of color...softer, sort of folding across each other. The colors were more muted, the yellow and oranges gone, mostly dark dark blue and shades of pink. It was bigger somehow, I guess it covered more area. Then to my left on the land up and behind Ensenada, the hills were that black/blue and the sky above and around them just a few shades lighter. I was in awe of the whole thing.  I thought to myself- how weird that at first I thought it looked like a painting! No silly! Art imitates life not the other way around! Duh. Everardo came out then and stood beside me taking it all in. He asked why I didn't bring my camera and take some shots- that means my phone of course...and so I answered that a picture would not do it justice, that I barely felt capable of trying to describe it at all. Maybe when I get our new camera with all the different settings I can try and take some good shots. Maybe take tons of pictures with different angles and lighting, and be able to choose some that kind of define how I feel here. Maybe.

The ocean also knocks me out on a daily basis. It's always different. The pelicans who have made themselves scarce lately have been back the last few days. There were so many every day when we first got to Baja; I guess I thought they would always be here. I googled it last month when they became fewer and fewer, and when I google I always read about 10 articles on whatever subject it is, and it must have been the tenth article that finally said they move up thru Calif and Oregon following the fish in the spring. The balance of the articles merely said yeah there's alot of pelicans in Baja. Brown pelicans altho' they are not always brown...and the males of course have the most interesting coloring. Anyway they're back, and so are the fish. Our neighbor walked by our house yesterday late afternoon pulling a kayak. About an hour he came back by holding a string of fish- maybe 4 or 5 pretty big fish. Very cool. We ate fish for dinner last nite but it came from the fish market....almost as fresh as his....

On my dance/walk yesterday morning, Sam found a live crab in a pile of kelp at the water's edge. It was small, maybe 4 inches across. OMG it was soooo funny. Hazel ran over to see what Sam found, and at first they just looked at it. Then tried touching it with a paw, which got the crab swinging his claws and both dogs jumped back. Each tried to put his face down there and the claws started swinging again and I thought somebody's nose would get pinched. So then Sam started barking at it and Hazel joined in. I let all this go on for a few minutes, but finally called them to leave it alone because sooner or later it would have ended badly for poor mr crab. Sam the fishing dog! Last week he pulled a stingray our the water- I'm pretty sure it was already dead, but he brought all the way home and then guarded it for a while. Everardo came home and finally took it away- I couldn't bear to because he was so proud of it. When we first came to Mexico down in Guerrero Sam caught a live fish! He's the man! I gotta find that picture and put all three together and post them on facebook- and also print them and put them in a frame.

Last Saturday we went to Ensenada for a meeting and to get Everardo some boxing gloves because the gym here has one of those long bags. On the way home we decided to go "exploring" and turned on a dirt road just south of Ensenada. It ended out at the estuary, which I didn't realize was that big. It's close to us on this side, but driving the road goes away from the coastline and so it's much further. Anyway the road started to have puddles as we got way out there and we could see something disturbing the puddles. It was tiny crabs- but the totally cool thing about them was that they had one claw that was as big or bigger than the rest of their body. I mean they were about an inch long and had a claw at least that long. And there were tons of them. They ran from every puddle. We got out and took some pictures of them. I assume the puddles were salt, and that it was high tide....but we were still pretty far from the water- how often is the tide great enough to come in that far?

In other news, I think the laser light therapy works. I've had 5 sessions- 1 hour each, and my hands are way way better. My wrists have not had a pain or ached at all since about the second appt. My fingers stayed stiff and sore,  but it's basically gone. I haven't needed the wrist splints at night, and I can be on the computer all day or holding up a book, anyway it's pretty amazing. I want to see if it lasts....yeah I hate to be a skeptic, but let's see long term- and by that I only mean let's see in 6 months. I'm pretty damn happy about the results at this point though.

So I'm into week two of my new health plan, and I'm not talking about health insurance ha ha. I'm talking about exercise and eating. I don't want to call it a diet- that assumes an end. I need to eat better. And really I eat ok...I just add sweets- cookies and chocolate- on top of it. If the stuff is not in the house I don't eat it. Luckily Everardo doesn't eat that stuff, yes people he snacks on fruit! I just finished a nice ripe pear, and actually it was great. He made a stir fry shrimp with asparagus and mushroom for dinner that was to die for. So the plan is M-W-F gym and dance/walk and T-TH only dance/walk. Feels great! I really only started working with weights when I went to that boot camp, and when I got back really tried to keep it up. Of course life always gets in the way, right? But right here, right now, I have an amazing opportunity. The gym is free, the dance/walk is free (altho ha ha I could use some new steps- gotta google that). So I'm getting up and working out, then come home, shower and have my protein shake, then study Spanish for at least an hour. Now I am at noon. So whatever I need to do- whether it's laundry or grocery shopping or just hanging out- I have all afternoon. After that amazing dinner we went for a long walk on the beach. It was nice, and we saw other couple doing the same thing- probly walking off their dinners as well. The thing is- I have the time! I have the time to make this my habit, to make this my lifestyle. It's already Everardo's lifestyle- working out and eating right so he's very happy to help me out, he helped me figure out what machines to use in the gym, Oh I almost forgot this. Yesterday we went over there and he had his new gloves so he worked out on the punching bag. We actually went so he could show me a technique for doing it, but now I'm thinking I'll wait since I'm trying to decided if the laser light therapy is working and i don't want to cloud the issue. Anyway- I watched him punch the bag- and for some reason it was kinda scary. He's very strong, and the look on his face was so...focused I guess. This is a man who never loses his temper. I mean I have seen him angry maybe 2 or 3 times ever and it was when we argued and it went on and on. He got mad, yelled something and then walked away. I never seen him lash out at anyone or anything. Never seen him smack a wall or throw something down in anger. So maybe that was it. But watching him hit that bag, nonstop...his face never changed but he was moving all over the place. He was determined, focused, brutal..yeah I guess I want to watch it again and it will probly be fine. Ok and it was a little sexy as well. He has very nice muscles, very nice definition- arms and chest. And he never wears a tank top, never wears no sleeves. But just the way the clothes fit him you can tell.
Ok so he runs and hits the bag- oh is it called the heavy bag? I think so. I'm doing weights for arms and chest and back, and then sit ups. Oh and my dance/walk. I am so grateful that I am so fortunate that this is my life right now.

I'm going to be going up to northern California in a few weeks, and sometime this summer we're going to take a road trip down south, see his brother and sister in Michocan, hope go thru Oaxaca because neither of us have been there, and then swing back up thru Guerrero and see our house down there. I want to get my books and a piece of furniture, and this light blanket with a peacock design that I bought when I was down there with my friend Veronica. We both bought blankets of the street because we knew we'd be sitting possibly all nite in the Mexico City airport and it gets cold in there. We will proby stay just a few days. We have renters in the house right now who Jay tells us (Jay is the guy we pay to look after the house), anyway her says they really like the house. They originally rented it for 2 months but have decided to stay. Ok I know I must not get my hopes up but maybe they'll want to buy it.....
I'm excited to go back and see it. My Spanish is a million times better than it was when we were there, so I can talk to my friend Chela. The renters are only living in the downstairs like we were, so we're thinking we can sleep in the upstairs. It has it's own entrance, and a bathroom with a shower. We can always eat somewhere else-that's not a problem, so we'll see. I want to sit on my rock, swim in the warm ocean...look at our property. And this will be with no stress on my part. We are not in a hurry to sell. And with the road paved, and we heard that water is coming, well the right buyer will come. When we left I was very stressed, over wanting to leave, and worse, because of getting involved in the politics of the town. It's basically 2 families and so almost everyone is related to one family or the other. Also, we found out I was taken advantage of when buying the property- which would be my own fault except some of those involved were supposedly my friends. Then after I left someone accused my husband of malicious gossip and I fired back with the truth that it had been her own brothers and sisters. So I'm hoping my best friend down there is still my friend. But if not- no big deal- we will never live there again...we want to sell but we could always just keep it as a vacation house. See what I mean about stress? So this visit will be for fun. Ha ha fun for me- Everardo plans to do some work on the roofs of both the kitchen and the bedroom. He patched it when we were first there, but it needs a more permanent fix. He is also open to painting if it needs it. Me? The beach, my rock, my books, walks....did I say I have a great life???

I know that Guerrero is not the safest place right now, Michocan either. But at least now we have Sonora license plares (Michocan didn't like Guerrero when we were there). And I know the "public defense" groups are still around...but they would have no interest in us- that's for the bad guys. We will be tourists.....I'm excited about the whole trip- when we drove up from there we were in a hurry and had Sam to contend with. Sam and Hazel will stay home with a sitter, so we can be choosier about motels, we can stop to look or go in somewhere, things like that. Everardo and I like adventures and we like exploring. It will also be nice to see his sister and brother again- without the fear of the first meeting ha ha. Anyway the trip is in the planning stage- but I know my hubby and all of a sudden he'll say "ok we're leaving tomorrow". so I need to do my own planning in my head- clothes, dog sitter...yeah it's gonna be great.

ok enough for now. Viva

Laser Light treatment, saw a whale!!!...and the gym....

Ok I'm going to start with the whale. It was AMAZING!! And lucky, by accident..almost missed it. Everardo's cousin Anna and her hubby Carlos showed up out of the blue on Saturday morning. She's a sister to Everardo and they showed up when we were in Penasco, too. She's a nut. They live in Salinas, just below San Francisco, and they'll drive down to Tijuana for tacos! Drive down Friday nite and go back Sat or Sun! I mean..come on! California! Yeah there's a few places closer to get tacos! And they're Mexican so...anyway I think it's funny, and I love love love that she comes to see Everardo.

Ok so we meet them up at the main road and we head for the Bufadora; she hadn't seen it in years and I'm not sure if Carlos had ever been there. So we're driving along the cliffs, still along our bay..and I'm like Stop the car!! Ha ha Everardo told me this morning that he told Carlos to unlock my door or I'd jump out the car window. Anna was really excited, too- she'd never seen a whale before. We must have watched for a half hour! Other cars pulled over all along the road, too. This was a small whale...bigger than a baby..but smaller..than a momma. I think maybe momma was out at the mouth of the bay, waiting for him to get it out of his system and then they needed to get to migrating north! What I've read says the migrate north Feb & March, so finally, after missing them going south and then driving out to different vantage points in Feb and March, and realizing I missed them, but accepting it since I'll be here next year and I can see them then.....I SAW ONE! He was amazing! Ok maybe it was a she but for this story I'll just say "he". He was swimming along the side- he spouted water and then did this big leap into the air- you know almost straight up, and then slamming down on the water! It was so cool. Then he swam some more, close to the surface so we see him, then dove deep so we strained to see and guess where he'd come up next. Jumped again, jumped again, jumped again. He must have jumped up ten times! Is it called "breaching"? It was just such a gift! I almost cried I was so happy. I yelled thank you God!! And Anna burst out laughing! I hate to end this story because I just can't describe it in a way to make the reader get the shivers and the excitement that I did watching this whale. This giant glorious animal...swimming around and having fun, and don't forget mom who I'm sure was waiting for him. We watched him jump and splash and blow water and swim, and finally he got to the end of the bay and was seen no more. I didn't care what happened the rest of the day...I saw my whale and simply basked in my own glow all afternoon.

Anna and Carlos enjoyed the Bufadora; all the shops and all the food. OMG Anna can eat and eat and eat! We ate in a resturaunt there, of course it was expensive, and then she ate corn on the cob on the stick with chili, tasted some of the breads (yes we bought and brought home the one that's creamy cheese filled), then she wanted to go back down the street to the end to try the bbq'd clams with cheese and shrimp. We were laughing about how much she can eat and I guess her sisters are all the same- oh and of course she's a tiny thing! (man I hate that!...yeah I struggle with my weight). They all talked and talked and talked and I followed most of it, and joined in also in Spanish. Felt pretty good. Then we all came back to our place and on the way Anna asked me if it was painted all the colors like our place in Penasco...I said yep! Well it's a work in progress, there's still blue walls that need a shade of orange, and some more purple...When we got here I showed our little place, and then we went to sit outside and watch the waves. I gave Anna the binoculars and pointed across to where we had been watching the whale play. They took off a little later; I found out later they stopped in Ensenada for tacos (!) and then went up to Tijuana for the nite. Everardo talked to her on the phone and it took them 4 hours! to get across the border. Ridiculous! Now I understand why our friend Tim goes over to Tecate. He's going to give me a ride to the San Diego airport in May when I go see my daughters and my oncologist and he said we're going to Tecate and uhhh yeah!

So- Laser Light Therapy. I've been googling it and I've had 3 treatments. It seems to be working. Last year, and the year before that, during the winter my wrists would start to ache, enough that I bought wrist splints to wear at nite when the pain would be the worst. In fact it seems like the first 2 years the pain was always at nite. This year when it came, it didn't go away. And my hands ache. I can't make a tight fist; sometimes I can't make any kind of fist. The other new thing was something called "Trigger Finger", this is when your finger gets "stuck" at the middle joint when your hands are curled. Then it kind of "pops" open. It happens mostly at nite when you close your hands during sleep. It was starting to get worse, and I was wearing splints during parts of the day. Sometimes I couldn't hold a book up to read it, or use my mouse at all without pain, enough pain to stop using it. Hmm Carpul Tunnel? Maybe but why in my left hand, too? Well I heard these women talking one morning up at the main road where on Saturday mornings there's always a little flea market. One was mentioning trigger finger and I excused myself into the conversation. That's when I heard about this doctor doing Laser Light Therapy.

It sounded interesting, and it's non evasive...you can't abuse it- your body only produces a certain amount of cells in it's process, and the laser light just helps it happen quicker. So after researching everything (ha ha so anal) I mad an appointment last week and I've been 3 times- last time today. Gotta say I think I'm a believer. After the second appt, I have not used my splints at all. No trigger finger in days- since the first appt, and my wrists are fine. My fingers were still aching thought and I told the doctor that today, and he mainly focused there. He does want me to come at least once more. He says you need to have enough treatment to get the cell creation going, repair damaged cells, and the dead cells to sluff off. It costs $50 a treatment and it's worth it. My God, in the states, first there would have been xrays (hmmm maybe $1000?), then advice to have a surgery...rehab....Yeah I was wondering why this treatment is not popular in the states since it's very popular in Europe, Asia, Russia...etc. Not too hard to figure out right? The drug companies have pain meds for these problems, the surgeons, the rehab centers....yeah there's big buck to be lost if treatment was as simple as sending light into your body! I spoke to a woman who had laser light on her back after being told she needed about $56,000 in surgery. I also spoke to a guy who had it on his foot after an accident. They were with the people at the flea market. Today in his office there was a woman who came down from the states and she was 99 years old! She kinda reminded me of my mom; she was wearing a baseball cap and was very spunky. Ok so for now- I am a believer. I will continue to post my results, let's see if my pain remains gone. Even this morning my left hand was going to sleep if I held it up high, like for driving- hand at 11pm...so we shall see. Vamos a ver.

Now- the gym. I know I wrote that the gym was in pretty sad condition. I hadn't been back and was waiting for Everardo to come down and take a look and see what he thinks. This afternoon, on the way back from my doctor appt, we stopped there and went in. There's a hanging punching bad that he is interested in and we looked at a couple of machines that I can use. One I didn't realize what it was for, and it's exactly what I wanted; weights that you pull down behind you, in front, and them pushing down in front for the backs of the arms where unfortunately for me I have grown tent flaps (yeah gross isn't it). Then there's a couple of pieces of equipment for sit ups, the slanted kind and then one that you can do other things on as well. Anyway we found about 4 pieces I can use, so I'm excited and planning to start tomorrow. Going there today also let me see that it's safe- the floor is not going to collapse and neither are the stairs outside. It was kinda creepy when I went down there alone, but today, it was just dusty, and old, but workable for what I need so I say- ok! Yesterday we went up to the segundas to look for a piece for the blender and I got a scale. I haven't been on a scale in a very long time. Ha ha when I go to the doctors office and they want to weigh me, I say no. When they push it I tell them to write down anything they want, but I am not standing of that fucking scale! Then they leave me alone. So- I have a scale, I have a workout, I have my dance/walk, and last week I started to try to eat better. One easy thing is to just not buy the cookies....Everardo doesn't eat any of that stuff, it's always for me. If it's not here I can't eat it. I'm going to keep a log, exercise, food, and weight. I set some goals, some attainable goals...but I prefer to keep them to myself for now. I'm not trying to wear a bikini by summer. I don't have a long term goal- really my goal is the process. I haven't had a drink of alcohol or a hit of pot in over 13 years. I never thought that could happen. But I what I need to realize if I really want to change my life, then I need to take steps to change my life. I'm not telling anyone my plans, they're just for me right now. I know I'm ok just as I am, but I think I can make some positive improvements. I'll keep you posted....
Life is good, hubby is wonderful, and doggys are amazing. Will anybody find out or tell us what happened to that place? I'm so sorry for the families, but PLEASE stop showing us pictures of their misery! Stop having it be the top story every day with all these "experts" talking out their asses about what they think. Either that place was hijacked and it's somewhere (an would we be told if that was true?) or it crashed into the ocean. And man- why don't they ask the NSA to help look for it, right? They listen to what we say, read what we write, and I'm sure watch us while we sleep (& other things). Come on! Technology can see an ant at the bottom of a well, a rock on Jupiter, a shell at the bottom of the ocean and they can't find a single trace of that huge airplane! I for one don't believe that no one knows where that plane is!

Viva!

Living in the moment or not...

It's funny, we call Mexico the land of manana, we do things on Mexican time, but it's also a place of "in the moment". Example: We took the dogs to the vet in Maneadero; not here because everything is more expensive in gringolandia (American prices for everything) and Maneadero is about a 5 minute drive. It's where I went to the dentist...Ok we get there and Hazel needed her last puppy shot and they both needed rabies. But the vet said he didn't want to give Hazel a rabies shot since she was getting the other, and told us to bring her back in 2 weeks. I had asked about Bordatella (sp), and he didn't have any but said he'd order it and took my phone number- and also said we could just get it when we came back. Ok, we come back for Hazel's rabies shot, and he says- oh I don't have any but I'll order it...We dropped by the other day because they never us the tags that go with the rabies shot, and they didn't have any; said that the guy who brings the shots didn't bring them with him. Ok, so we'll check back. Oh- did you get the Bordatella? Oh no, but we'll order some. SHIT! Next time we go I want to wait while they place the order...

The phone company (Telnor- which is the Baha version of Telmex, all owned by the richest man in the world-Calos Slim), we had gone at the end of Jan to ask them to move our service and to pay the current bill. They inadvertently charged our debit card for the move charge (327pesos), and we said no- we just wanted to pay the bill, and pay the move charge over 2 payments...easy right? Ha ha They said oh we'll reverse the charge in the next 24 hours. Now there's no online banking here, and to go to the bank is a trip to Ensenada, which we make weekly so no big deal. But the return was never made. So after a month we went back to Telnor, and luckily took a bank statement showing all transactions and asked for the money to be applied to the current bill. OMG- ha ha I guess it's kinda funny now (just kinda since it's our money). First they think our bank statement is fake....then finally agreed to return the money- no they cannot apply it to our bill...this all took over an hour...& after we left she called us and said we had to go to the bank and ask for it....what???It was all so weird...and yet- we went to the bank- I waited outside because I was so pissed off, and they said they'd get us the money! Couple of days later I get a text telling us we have received the refund. So weird! 

We've been calling the Dish Ntwk the last few days because when daylight savings time started a few weeks ago, our tv didn't change. I wouldn't really even care but I'm watching this series at 11pm and so now it's on at midnite...Well 3 or 4 different "customer service" people have told us- oh we'll send out a new signal and it will change. Well it's been a few days and (big surprise) no change. So today the guy told Everardo to give it 3 hours because they were sending the signal and if it didn't change call back. Hmmm ok no change, called back and it rang for about 15 minutes...we were laughing because we figured they knew it was us, but I just held onto the phone while I was on my laptop...a guy comes on after about 20 min- and after a long conversation which lost me, Everardo said muchas gracias and hung up. He said the guy told him that only the border area changed to DST, the rest of Mexico was changing April 6, and we just have to wait. Ok fine- but WHY couldn't any of the first people tell us that??? 

So what does all this long boring story of my life mean??? Couple of things. One thing is you need to complete any transaction you are doing with a business in the same day. Any time you walk away and they have another step- it does not get done. They put it aside and go on to the next thing. It's the same in the store- oh we'll have it tomorrow...whether or not the person telling you this has any idea if the product will be available ha ha...  It's like they don't want to say no, or disappoint...or maybe they don't want to say they don't know. 

And here is the other thing: my continuing opportunity to practice acceptance. Man that is the lesson that never lets up! And it's the main cause of any arguments we have. I get frustrated and he does not. He almost never loses his temper. Ha ha sometimes even that pisses me off! I know there is no such thing as customer service in Mexico and in the grocery store & the bank I've gotten pretty good at it; I can people watch, chat, munch on something...etc. But in other cases...not so much! I was good at the telephone company until she started telling us the bank statement was somehow faked. (yeah for 300 pesos- about $25USD). But yeah afer that I was just mad. When we left I was still steaming- yes they told us they were going to give it back- but isn't that why we were there in the first place??? Finally Everardo got mad at me for being mad. "What good does it do for you to get mad at them??" So we had a fight in the car but got over by the time we got to the next place we were going.

So I'm trying to take a look at it. First I was just mad....you can put people in little uniforms but that doesn't mean they know anything! We went to Starbucks- which we haven't done since we got here. I mean it's sooo expensive- like $5 for a cup of coffee! But that day I just wanted caramel. (Unfortunately it was the day before the Telnor fiasco) So we went...Everardo's latte was fine. I ordered a cold drink...and well. I think all the ingredients were in it, but what a mess...and the caramel squirted on top...yeah it was a mess. So they have Starbucks, but people don't get trained on how to make the stuff.....and I didn't even get mad after spending 123 pesos on 2 coffees...shame on me for going. We actually laughed about it. There was so much ice that I only got a couple of sips and then begged Everardo for some of his latte ha ha.

But after a couple of times in different place I start getting mad. Again, shame on me. I know I should have low expectations here, and then I get frustrated when things don't go the way I think they should. So maybe it's about my ego. Apparently my ego is the size of Chicago! Funny I see myself as a nice person, caring, understanding, I always tip good, try to be polite, positive....and then when I fall- I fall off a cliff. Why is that? If it's my ego, then somehow I must want the person to know I'm smarter than they are?, or that I'm very important and why are they screwing up my stuff? I guess I've grown up in a world where everything is right now, everything is available, and everyone will fall over themselves to get it for you, your choice, your price, your way. Hmmm sounds like a hamburger commercial eh?

My husband on the other hand is very patient. When things go wrong he just waits, or accepts it and moves on. I think it's a cultural thing. I see it here, everywhere. You wait in line. You ask for what you want. Maybe you get it and maybe you don't. You don't rock the boat. There's always a ton of people at the bank, at Telnor, in the stores. People do not get mad, not even frustrated. But I think maybe the right spot for me is in the middle- not to get all wrapped around the axle, but also not to just blindly accept, either.


I read this saying on facebook the other day....can't remember the words but it was about worry- that worrying today doesn't fix today,  just wrecks tomorrow..or something like that. Anyway I do understand that when I get mad it only hurts me. But it's also true that very often I get mad just for the moment and then get over it. And sometimes I just need to vent. If I am not outwardly rude or mean to the object of my frustration...well isn't a little venting ok??? Ok sucks I gave my bad temper to both my kids ha ha. Anger and stubborness.

Well to catch up from last week, I did not return to the exercise class, so yeah I lost the money. But oh well...I have continued my beach dance/walk. This week I'm adding in eating right....when I fill the kitchen with good stuff I tend to eat good stuff...vamos a ver...

Tomorrow I'm going to see a doctor who does laser treatments. Both my wrists ache; I've been wearing wrist braces at nite and sometimes during the day- especially if I'm on my laptop alot. I had the same problem last year during the winter, then it went away as it got warmer. But this time it may be worse- my hands fall asleep if my arms are not straight or level. Like holding up the binoculars makes my right hand start to tingle, sometimes in the morning I can hardly hold anything, and usually I cannot make a tight fist. It may be carpel tunnel in both, and I heard this guy treats it with laser therapy instead of surgery. I believe that the meds I take can be a partial cause for my aching joints- I looked it up and it can cause joint pain. I only have to take them until this November, but it's been 3 years...well 5 counting the drug I took first which also had joint pain as a possible symptom. I heard about this doctor when I was at the little flea market at the beginning of our road at the main road. I heard these women talking about "trigger finger" (which I also have going on right now) and also carpel tunnel, back problems, etc. I was looking at some stuff near them, and excused myself into their conversation. Two ladies and one husband raved about this guy up in Ensenda...and when I heard what he charged....ok I'm in! So I'm going to see him tomorrow. He may even have advice about the trigger finger. I been researching it on line and one symptom of it is fluid around the joint and I have that...Anyway I'm kind of excited because sleeping has been hell with waking up with my fingers feeling like they're going to explode- ooh I gotta remember to tell him that. Oh and he speaks English, too. Hmmm maybe I should wrap up this post and research laser treatments.

So- acceptance and balance...