Feeling so good today

Pictures from a really fun day....

These pictures are from Michoacan during the Day of the Dead celebrations back in November. I posted them today because the day we took these pictures I had so much fun and was so happy- in that light airy, kinda blissful way. We stayed in a small hotel in the old downtown area, and these displays were in walking distance of us. Actually that Sunday morning we set out walking and ended up renting bicycles on the wide main street and that's when we found this park lined with these Day of the Dead altars. We returned the bikes and then walked back down to take a look. (as it turns out they close the main street every Sunday and people jog, walk, and ride bikes in the street- really nice-so happy we were there on the weekend!)

The first photo; the one with me getting my face made up was actually in the nearby town of Patzcuaro- they were having a small festival and also had altars and food stalls, and as you can see- a\make up booth which I just couldn't pass by. Back in Michoacan there were lots of people with not only face make up, but wearing costumes, but I did get lots of thumbs ups and kids pointing at me ha ha.

The altars were beautiful, touching really. Some had themes, many were honoring family members, and all so detailed. We oohed and awed for a few hours, walking along visiting each one. Later we sat in a sidewalk cafe along the plaza and had coffee and snacks. It was a beautiful day and we were enjoying each other's company; Everardo was so happy to be seeing his family- we saw his brother and his sister and nephews and neices, we went out to the cemetary in the tiny village where his mother is buried, we brought flowers and I watched him so lovingly put the flowers around her grave. His brother and I stood arm in arm and Pablo talked to me about his son who passed away just about a year ago right now, and we took flowers to a beautiful little cemetary in the mountains the next day to honor him. It was a wonderful trip to see his family.

This morning I woke up feeling so happy! I was smiling when I woke up! I had just been dreaming that Everardo and I were camping, in our sleeping bags by the fire, laughing, and he had this really long curly gray hair! Ha ha he looked so cute with all that hair. I figured out later this morning that it must have been because of this silly show we watched last nite about these people in the Colorado mountains mining for aquamarine...some of them were these old gray haired geezers and we were cracking up. I mean they got reality shows for everything!

But I was also feeling good about my class. Last nite it was awesome! I had 4 students; 3 women and 1 man....they seem to be my regulars. There's actually one more woman and her 12 year old son who usually always come as well but they weren't there last nite. But class just seems to fly by! Everardo cut the remaining piece of whiteboard in half that we had in the shed so I could handle it more easily and it was perfect. I taped the photos I had from my old class of breakfast foods; steak and eggs, eggs and bacon, pancakes, waffles. french toast with strawberries...syrup, eggs cooked sunny side up, scrambled, over easy, etc. I made more copies of the little menu I made and was off to school. I meant for the entire evening to be about the restaurant, servers, cooking, ordering, etc., but we got off on talking about my/mine/me and you/your/yours for almost an hour! But that's what's so cool about the class. I start with something and then I let the students questions/interests guide the class. The last half hour we looked at the breakfast photos and talked about what the different things were. I wrote the names of things on the board, they were busy writing them in their notebooks- and then class was over- so I told them to take their menus home and notice the words they wrote down were on the menus, and that Wednesday we'd "play" restaurant. They all really enjoyed it! This group really wants to learn and I gotta think up some more situations, like grocery shopping or a day at the beach..or having each tell me what they do in a day...using Spanish where they need to, and then our work is to translate into English. Yeah if you can tell I am very enthusiastic about this! I am helping people who want to learn! I always feel good when I walk out the classroom door at the end of the nite! And you know what? It suddenly is not so important for me to be learning as much Spanish as they are English! They are there to learn- not to teach. I am there to teach, to help. Yes I will learn as I go, but I'm no longer obsessing over it. That's a relief.... and even another reason to be feeling good!

I saw this kid (about 30 yrs old) this morning on the news; he had been wrongly convicted of murder when he was 19, and spent 10 years in prison and on his last appeal was exonerated. He said he stayed mad for years in prison, and then started to take care of himself. He started working out and eating better. Yes some was for survival, but it was also because in some way he realized he needed to make the best of it for himself. He started writing and now it's a published book about his experience. The name is something like, Faster, Better, Smarter...not sure I need to google it. But he went thru a psychic change....and started taking care of himself. After that I went down to the beach for my workout- the tide was out so I could dance down there (lately it's been in during the morning so I've had to dance in front of the house). Anyway the sky was such a bright blue and the clouds a puffy white. Now the wind is blowing really hard, but this morning just a hint of a breeze. The dogs were with me and the 2 puppies next door came down to play as well. I thought about how lucky I am! How grateful I am for every bit of my life! I was full of energy and I danced my ass off ha ha! Then I went down to the free senior stretch class to finish it off and I bounced thru that as well.

I am just so lucky. I live on a beautiful beach with my wonderful husband and 2 crazy doggies. I exercise on that beach 5 days a week, and am eating smart. (as soon as I finish writing this I'm making my crab salad) I am talking to my amazing daughter Drew almost every day. I am SO proud of her and my soon to be son in law (now more than ever as they work thru some tough stuff). I am sober- hit 14 years last week, and get to help a woman navigate the 12 steps for herself. I'm in a meditation group for the first time and really learning to center myself...it helps alot!  I get to teach English to some adults who want to learn- and got the classroom space, the tables and chairs all for free! Who's life is better than mine? Thank you universe for my life! Just wanted to share all this! :)

Hot springs & mud bath

More mud and less hot springs I think

There are a couple of different places for one to go with hot springs here in northern Baja, including down the beach right here where we live. People bring shovels down to the beach and dig holes that fill up with hot water- hot, not just warm. It's up at the end by the main road, right next to where we lived the first three months we were here.

But the place in these photos is about 40 minutes east, in the mountains. There's another place a little more north and then east again. In fact someone said that the water from this place comes from the Colorado river- so it must at some point go underground and pass thru the lava? Or the hot spring? I mean I thought "hot spring" meant the water originated right there....hmmmm so not sure. Anyway I went with 5 or 6 women out there this past Thursday, for a women's retreat day. We were all alcoholics in recovery, and while the coals were heating up we had a small AA meeting- more of just a check in- we all shared a little bit about how we were feeling- and to be out there, in nature, in such a pretty spot, with other women trying to contribute to life in a positive way- well everybody was feeling pretty good. Oh and it happened to be my sobriety anniversary- 14 years. Yep I've been on recovery for 4 years. In some ways it has flown by. I will say this. I am SO grateful to be an alcoholic!

Does that sound funny? Who would be grateful to have a drinking problem, right? Well for me, coming into AA was the best thing I ever did. For me, it's really not about not drinking- it's about finding a spiritual path. I didn't know that of course when I got there- I was just trying to stop hurting the people I loved, including myself, and to figure out why- when I had everything a person could want (family, a job, a house, stuff, etc) I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy deep down inside. I mean I loved my kids more than life itself, I loved my husband and the rest of my family, but when I was alone with myself, my thoughts...I just couldn't find it. Anyway, the 12 steps of AA were- and are a guideline for me, helped me find a way to self respect, to self love, to admitting, accepting that I am part of something bigger than me. You know I think when the people around me as I was a teenager and a young adult were learning those things, learning solutions, beginning to see how we are all connected in life....I was partying, getting drunk and doing drugs and not paying attention to anything else. And it was one stop shopping- alcohol was my solution to everything- mad- get drunk, happy, have a few drinks to celebrate, sad, jealous, scared, whatever, drink and it all felt better. Liquid courage...I drank and felt pretty, thought I could dance....thought guys liked me...felt "good enough". When did I cross the line? I don't know. I mean I had good jobs thru the years; got to travel all over the world. I bought my first house by myself,  I was married for 15 years to a great guy, so in many ways I've had an awesome life. But little by little my love affair with alcohol started to erode the good parts of my life. And the thing is- if it hadn't gotten bad enough, I might not have finally (FINALLY) looked for help. To find out there were lots of people struggling like me! People who were nothing like me but struggling with the same issue of an addiction. It truly does take a village, right?

 I was thinking of my next tattoo to say "It takes a village"....because I think it applies to everything. Raise a child, find a spiritual path, I have come to the realization that we are all connected, and it's ok that I don't know how, or even why. I believe that I am connected to all living things, not just people, but trees and animals, the wind, the sun...everything. And I want to contribute in a positive way. When I do that, my day always goes good. I'm usually happy every day, and I have a serenity today. Oh and as far as tattoos go- on the inside of my right arm, above the elbow I have the word acceptance, and then under it, esperanza (hope in Spanish). I'm going to add forgiveness. Can't see them under all that mud in the pics right? ha ha

OK so enough of my grateful to be an alcoholic. The hot springs were so pretty and peaceful. We went on a week day because one of the women goes up there fairly often and said on the weekend it's packed. There were just a few other people there. So there was one really big hot pool and another one same size but the water was merely warm. The problem when we first arrived was that the hot pool was empty!!! A guy was scrubbing it with a long handled broom. We were very disappointed- I mean it wasn't all that warm outside, well everyone but me was in shorts and flip flops but we looked for a spot that had sun and shade. I was wearing levis but had my swimsuit with me- but wondering if I needed it. But the guy said- oh we're going to fill it right now (in Spanish of course). We tsk tsked it, but started setting up our spot- everybody brought something so we had a potluck, with burgers to bbq and several salads- potatoe, macaroni, fruit, greek....and for me? Well I brought the charcoal but I also brought my own little bag of food so I could stay with my health program......I brought apples, hard boiled eggs, bananas, string cheese, some veggie chips, etc and it was more than enough.

So there was also a couple of other smaller pools that were warm, so we started there, and then headed over to the mud hole. Ok that got fun. One crazy lady with us, marched into the mud hole and found a scooper thing- actually looked like someone cut a plastic soda bottle in half- and started scooping mud. It was not a huge hole and I was happy not to step in it since I had forgotten my flip flops so was barefoot and I hate stepping in things I can't see thru. I just watched this weird tv reality show where these people go into these muddy rivers and pull these fish that look like eels with teeth out of these holes in the side of the bank....yeah I wasn't putting my hand or foot or anything else in there ha ha!! Then the small cement pool for washing it off was so dirty as well, but we found a hose nearby and used that- Unfortunately it was freezing cold water! But once we were all covered in mud we laid in lounge chairs in the sun while it dried on us. We got to laughing about well- women get together and yeah we laugh...nothing I want to repeat here ha ha!! Well a hint....sex changes, husbands, fantasies....you know! ha ha hah aha ha So we talked an laughed and the mud dried hard on our bodies. But wow! Once we rinsed off! Everybody was ooohing and ahhhhing about how silky smooth we felt, I've showered a few times since and my skin still feels silky.

While we were gettin' muddy they started to fill the big pool. I woulda sworn we weren't going to be able to use it. and hey this is Mexico- there's not going to be any getting our money back or any discount. But you know what? By the time we were done with the mud, that big pool had about 2 or 3 feet in it- and that water was boiling hot! You could move out to a far side and it was not quite as hot, but we stayed close to the really hot part and laid down in it. It really ended up being just as good...we floated around in a few feet of water, the other people there did the same thing. It was fun.

Later we ate, fed the ducks, oh and the bano (bathroom) of course was not working so we peed behind rocks and trees- another good thing about there not being too many people there that day, and before we knew it, it was 4pm and time to hit the road. It was a beautiful spot, out in the middle of nowhere. A creek ran thru it, bbq stands next to picnic tables all around the outside of the pools, a flock of snow white ducks, and we were in a small canyon, so surrounded by cliffs, really a pretty spot.

So I did not use the day as some excuse to go on an eating binge and that was good. I did taste a corner of the banana bread Joanne made. She is a great cook. She made in honor of my sobriety birthday, and it was still warm when we arrived. But I really am changing my habits- my eating habits. I am beginning to crave apples, I don't think about things I'm missing- I'm not missing out on anything- the fact is I can eat whatever I want. I'm choosing. And right now I'm choosing to eat things that are better for me than others. When the time comes that I will die if I don't have some oreo cookies- well I guess I'll have some. Hopefully just a couple. But I'm not dying yet...so it's going pretty good. Tonite I made steamed shrimp and veges, and for the first time in months added a cup of rice. I think the point is- a cup...not a plateful ha ha! Oh and the other important thing- I made it! Well not the rice- but next time. But now I know how to steam shrimp perfectly! Veges, too. For me this is a huge thing. I am no cook. Never enjoyed it. Too much work when I could just buy it already made- which is what I used to do in the states- there were a couple of grocery store that had cooked meals, and I also used to buy weight watcher frozen meals as well, so I was covered. Ha ha my ex husband and my husband now are both amazing cooks, so between all that I never needed to cook! And honestly I wouldn't have to now- Everardo is happy to cook- even if it's one thing for him and something different for me. But I'm getting involved. Stranger things eh? ha ha

I'm eating alot of seafood- shrimp, crab, and white fish (usually tilapia)- we buy it all fresh and that's usually at least 5 nites a week. I can have something cold on the other nites....fruit, egg sandwhich, etc. I hit 44 pounds on Friday and I'm very happy about it! Yippee!! This is month 11, so one more month and I will have stuck with this exercise and change of eating habits for a year! I plan to continue. I'd like to lose at least another 20, and maybe more, I'll see when I hit 60 pounds which was my year goal. I won't make 60 in a year- it's only another 5 weeks to make a year, but I am not unhappy- I chose 60 pounds as kind of an arbitrary number- 5 pounds a month. But 5 pounds a month is not reasonable for a year....in fact I didn't lose 1 pound in December or the first half of Jan...and really 2 or 3 will only get harder to lose as I get closer to my goal. Then I will have to learn to maintain. After 20 years of different diets, this has been new. I am not doing a "diet". To me, diet insinuates I am giving something up for a limited time- that's not what I'm doing. I'm changing my lifestyle. Kinda like when  I quit drinking. This new way of eating and my exercise program is my new lifestyle. So, we'll see.

My life is going really good right now. I am teaching my English classes, yeah sometimes just 2 students, but that's still good. I have a sponsee in AA, a woman I am helping thru the steps, I am feeling healthier than I have in a long time- all done taking the cancer medicine and I feel like my body is taking care of itself. You know I think it takes time for my system to get everything out, and now it's been 3 months since I finished taking Arimidex....hmmm I just realized that.

Ok what else? welllll summer is coming right? Soon I will be back to spending as much time as possible outside, in my hammock, on the beach....and posting more pics here now that I have it figured out ha ha. Oh I'll try to remember to post some pics from when we lived in Sonora on the SEa of Cortez...which the Mexicans call Gulf of Calif. Ok viva!