Today was Friday, it's almost 9pm now, but a nice lazy day. No English classes and no Spanish classes. Just a meeting in the morning, reading a book with a cool breeze around me, and later a nice walk with Sam up at the track. Ok before that, Everardo came home and we finally got a new mattress..another yippee. But it won't be delivered until Monday. That's ok; we had looked "slightly used" ones, then new ones in a couple of places, but only at 2 places were they in our chosen price range. So we went back to both, and of course, neither had the size we wanted (queen size or 60 inches across). And we are only looking for the top mattress not the box spring. So on the way to the second hand mattress store (yes a second hand mattress store), we decided to stop and look at a place we knew would be really expensive. And guess what? They were having a promotion- a sale- and we got it for less than the second hand place. So I guess I can wait for Monday, right?

Everardo went down to the beach late in the afternoon to see if any tourists were there, and he sold some of the spiders he made. He is busy making more right now. He fusses and fools with all his raw materials, different wires and tools, a million shapes and sizes and kinds of beads, for earrings, necklaces, spiders and scorpions.... he seems happy, and well I guess I'm just sweet on him.....

So this track is really a cool place. It's only about 3 blocks over from us; our street dead ends into it. There's a couple of soccer fields, baseball fields and this big track. Work out stations with bars and sit up boards, on a slant with hooks for your feet. There's at least one school, maybe two, so maybe they share all the sports fields. Yesterday was my first day on the track, ha ha I barely made half an hour...walking! Everardo showed up about half way thru and he jog around it for about 20 min I think. Sam followed me, then him, then when he saw me sitting on a bench, came and laid down with me ha ha. I'm trying to get an exercise regime started. I said that to someone this morning in an email and realized it needs to be a lifestyle, not a "regime". I have my eliptical and that's good. I started back to it this week after dropping it 2 weeks before I went to the US. I need something more, something more..social. Well this track may be it. Everardo told me about it before, cause he's taken Sam down there to jog, but he's been about as consistent as me. Maybe we will inspire each other eh?
The thing about this place is, there's soooo many people there. There are high school looking kids jogging or walking, some are there with a coach. There are all ages of adults; some walking, a couple riding bikes, some jogging or running. There are people sitting in the bleachers talking, there are younger teens hanging in small groups. There has been a volleyball game both days, and at the far end; peewee soccer team practices, today watching the doing warm ups was so cute! A huge parade went by; cars full of kids, flatbed trucks with kids and music, a big float- it was a parade for "queen" of the high school- in the US we call it Homecoming Queen. People in the park stopped what they were doing to watch and wave, so I started taking pictures and so of course got wildly waving hands and shouts from the flatbed trucks.

Of course there's lots of little kids everywhere, on bikes or playing in the middle- inside the track. They all asked me what Sam's name was. A few adults asked if he bites. I think if I go down there every day, pretty soon everybody will know Sam- he'll be the track mascot. It felt nice to be there, I felt..."a part of", and it motivates me. Today the half hour was easy. But I'm gonna walk for half an hour for a few more days before I kick it up to an hour. I know me, if I jump right into an hour, I'll hurt my foot again and then no walking. I did it in Playa Vetura; I started walking with Everardo and Sam out to Casa Piedras; this beautiful walk out to an amazing shoreline. But I pushed myself cause that's what I always do and hurt the same darn foot. I hurt my left foot a few years back, I think 2008. I was working put at Curves, this place where you do circuit training- go from station to station, and in between each station you had to do this run in place thing, and I overdid it right from the start and ended up with that injury on the bottom of my foot..called planta factitious (spelling?) Anyway that's when I got the elliptical cause it was easier on my foot than a treadmill or walking. But if I work up to it, to walking an hour at a time, it should be ok. So I'm taking it slow cause I want this.

I was remembering that in 2001 I didn't work for a year. Halla was in 3rd grade and I helped out in her classroom. I would get up and go for an hour walk in the morning. I know I did it for months and months cause I remember the first of the year, and sadly, I remember Sept 11. I lved in northern Calif so when the attacks happened it was early in the morning for us. My husband (now ex) ran into the bedroom yelling and turning on the tv. We watched in horror, we stayed in a daze the whole day. I remember my sister and brother in law were flying from the west coast to the east coast I think, and I didn't know where they were. (As it turned out their flight never took off that morning). The day that changed all of our lives. My older daughter was in Montana and I had the panic thoughts of how fast could we get there. We just didn't understand what was going on or what to do next...

Well I walked that year. And I walked off 40 lbs. That would be nice. Even if I don't lose 40 lbs (even tho that would be nice too), but I want to feel better. Not rigid and stiff...and oh yeah...chubby...and this park, this track, feels good. So my plan is to try to do both, at least one or the other every day but hopefully both. Elliptical in the morning and walking at nite. I also am trying to change my eating out of control habits as well. This is another place were hubby is a good influence. He likes to snack on fruit, and we eat alot of bananas and apples. And were both trying to eat more vegges and less bread. For me the huge issue is chocolate, more than just sugar, chocolate is a killer for me. I can eat sugar and be fine, but if it's in the form of chocolate, I start craving more chocolate. I was in the habit (again) of eating ice cream every nite! Arrgghh. I think I wrote about the 1 pound box of Sees candy I bought at the airport cause I left the box I bought previously at my daughter's (with the extra sharp cheddar cheese boo hoo), well that one pound box of candy- I ate the WHOLE thing in 2 days. I ate EVERY piece. I am happy to say however that I haven't eaten any chocolate since last Saturday when I polished off that box.

I felt like in the past year I have been pretty stressed out at times. I was telling my friend Pam, my solutions, my way to cope- well I have (had) three; drinking, shopping, eating. I don't drink anymore, I have no money to shop..so get the hell away from my cupcakes! I didn't try to watch myself with food this past year, having my cupcakes (here they're called Pinguinos), or my Magnum ice cream bars, I don't know, it has been like something I have control over, you know? So I ate whatever I wanted and my attempts at exercise have been half measures at best. Well my 2 weeks in Ca, I spent them eating! And it wasn't even my plan! I thought I would buy myself a jar of peanut butter; yes I was stying with my daughter, but she works nites, and so I planned to fend for myself. As it turned out, I kept seeing friends, was so much busier than I planned to be, and it was around dinner almost every nite. Ugh I was stttttuuuffffeeeddd (stuffed). I did have however, a fabulous dinner the nite Drewy cooked, as well as the day we bbq'd, and an amazing chicken pot pie made my my friend Kay who is one half our renter team. ha ha I was trying to figure out how to ask if I could take some with me, but decided that might be a little over the top ha ha, so I just stuffed myself (see everywhere stuffing myself). One totally outstanding meal was the evening I took myself to sushi. I was supposed to meet  a girlfriend that day, and spend almost the whole day together, and then attend a function together that nite. She kinda blew me off in little bits, first for our lunchtime, then didn't answer the phone for meeting up to see her place, then called me to cancel the evening (ahh, can you tell I still feel resentful about it ha ha?), so anyway I decided to take myself to sushi. I sat by myself at the bar, chatting with the chef, and closing my eyes with every delicious bite. Oh the salmon, the hamachi, the tuna.....it was to die for. They just don't have sushi here, and we certainly never found any in Guerrero altho' they probly had some in Acapulco. Here, sushi is rolls only. So yeah, I was disappointed by a friend, but treated myself and it was perfect.
 One of those things I have to work on- having expectations, and then I'm always disappointed. And that's on me. So I guess it was just time for a lesson ha ha.

Ok- so after my return, I went thru alot of soul searching about how I feel. That this is truly now my home. That except for missing my kids, this is the place for me. That I'm not done here, not sure what it is I need to do, but I just need to be here now. And that I feel like the past year has been about learning acceptance, on a lot of levels (including patience, including acknowledging that I can have a dream, then change my mind- that it's ok to do that, to listen when I ask for guidance...and some other things) and so am thinking that maybe for this coming year, it can be about hope. My year starting June 1 basically. Yep we have been living in Mexico for almost one year, couple more weeks to go. The community center I'm involved with is about hope. I am so grateful to be a part of it! What they bring to people who are truly struggling- in a way that most of us just don't see. And teaching English to adults is also giving hope. And when I came back and found I had even more students??!! Well then I was really hoping for guidance ha ha! I am coming to love this place, the people are amazing. I'm starting to feel like a part of things here. And it feels like it changed in the week since I got back- kicked up a notch. I found a new Spanish teacher, and she works for Karen and Mark, too, so we can have class Tue & Thurs, haha right after English class both days. And now seeing this big park- I kinda found this park- I mean Everardo told me about it before, but I never checked it out. I'm excited to go there every day and walk for an hour, maybe meet some new friends, but at least the camaraderie of people all doing the same thing. So this year is the year of HOPE.

Couple of interesting facts..to me anyway...in the last 30 days I have the the following number of views to my blog:
385 United States
54 Russia
53 Mexico
20 Germany
2 each for UK, Guyana, Sweden
1 ea for Panama, Puerto Rico
Further back than 30 days I also have (30-60 I think):
40 Ukraine
20 France
12 China

I am not a huge blog person, in fact I probly only read a couple of blogs before I started this one, so I have no idea if this is alot or a little. I've been writing this blog for just about a year, and I've had over 6000 hits, not sure how many more than 6000, cause it doesn't show the qtys below 20 in the all time stats.
But I find this amazing. Take Russia for instance, are the readers Russian, or American, or English speakers? Well I guess than can read English so probly English speakers. Hmmm what about when I use slang. Last nite I was writing about having 2 interested people in our house in southern Mexico, and I said something like 'we could probly get more from door number 2'...is it obvious that I mean the second person? Actually does anyone under the the age of say...40, get the significance? Door number 2 comes from the old show 'Let's Make a Deal'.....do you want to trade what you have won for what's behind Door Number 2? Or for what's behind the Curtain? I used to love that show!! Monty Hall was the host, and people came dressed up as weird stuff to get his attention and hopefully be picked to be a contestant. You could walk away with a new car or a bag of walnuts, or nothing!

My biggest numbers are the US, Mexico, Russia, and Germany. I used to know someone is Russia, but that was a long time ago when the company I worked for had business in Russia. We put in telephone systems for Sprint, I guess we had the equipment and Sprint had the dial tone. I was really lucky and got to go to Moscow for 10 days, really just to babysit the Sprint group cause it was in the contract we'd be on site. I was coordinating from Calif, and our guy had to come back; since I was familiar with the players, I got to go. In fact it was more than that. I had a good relationship with the Sprint guy and he called and asked me if I wanted to come before he called senior mgmt to insist we honor our contract. That was on a Friday, and I left for Moscow on Sunday. (Thanx Phil wherever you are). Zach was the Russian guy who worked for us, and his son took me around and it was so cool cause I was with an insider. Of course it was late November and snowing really hard the entire time, so we didn't do too much...but wow all the women and little girls decked out in fur coats and hats. Now there's a place where you can't argue the need for animal skin eh? (I'm from northern Calif where it doesn't snow...ouch) The people there are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone was friendly and helpful. Now I have a friend in Calif who is Russian and she is, as I said, beautiful inside and out. Her name is Ramilia (pretty isn't it), and she is so kind and generous. And smart- this is a smart, determined woman, who I believe will accomplish what ever she wants in life. Viva Ramilia! Hmmm I wonder how Zach and his son are doing? Well they were engineers, not sure if software or hardware, but I bet they are both doing well.
I currently know people in Germany as well, and wonder if they are reading this? My brother in law who I love so much. His brother is my ex husband but I didn't divorce my brother in law or his family! And of course I know people in the US & Mexico....
Anyway I just think the statistics are cool. I always see ads on the blog site about making money with your blog, I think it's by letting them put ads on it? I'm really not sure cause I haven't ever read it thoroughly...again because I don't know if I would qualify, like do I have enough readers? ha ha who knows...

Ok another interesting fact. The power (electricity) is charged here based on your neighborhood. People who live by the beach, and/or in the gated communities pay a much higher rate than us, and we pay a higher rate than those in the San Rafael area where I teach. There's is pretty close to ours, but a woman with a much bigger house than us, pays about the same as us, which so far has been about $30 US a month. My friends who live along the beach in the condos or the gated areas are paying $600-800 per month!!! So even if you find a cheap rent, the power will kill you! And it's only for electric, gas is propane, you know, we fill these canisters...

And I keep saying the garbage pick up is free- it was free down in Playa Ventura, and people here told us it is free. Ha ha this time it's been 4 weeks since it's been picked up- but it's ok with us cause if we bring it to the center, Mark will take it to the dump for us. He goes about every 10 days and I think he pays nothing, or something like 20 pesos, and waves us off when we offer to pay. But the people I visited last nite for the Spanish class; they live just a few blocks from here, same neighborhood as us, and they told me it's not free. That they paid a year in advance. I wondered if it's cause they are not Mexican...but the teacher also said it wasn't free, that it was about 50 pesos a month (about $4.50 US), but no one has ever come around to collect money and we are in month 6....so I don't know the answer to this one. Our neighbors said it was free- well maybe they aren't collecting because right now pick up is hit and miss, and this was going on when we arrived here. Vamos a ver for this one eh?

Well I write this blog in lieu of talking to some people, sometimes to get my feelings out, sometimes to relate interesting stuff, or just stuff I think is funny or strange. Sometimes just as dear diary which my sister in NY/Florida says she loves cause she can picture her sister's life far away...

So I was kinda asking the universe for guidance, for a full life and I think I'm getting it so watch out what you ask for...now I am teaching 4 days a week, and Spanish class might be 3 days a week, AA meetings in English 4-5 times a week, and a women's meeting in Spanish one nite a week...and my plan is to increase my Spanish meetings as my comprehension increases. Viva

Another good day! Tuesday. Everardo got a call that a guy is interested in buying the Guerrero house! Again I hope I don't jinx it by writing about it, but I'm not saying it out loud so hopefully....anyway he told his friend to have the guy call us directly. And if he is interested, well I think we should give the new renters first right of refusal; meaning if they want to buy it when they hear someone else does, then it goes to them first. hmmmm altho' we could probly get more from door number 2. Oops greed, that would be our downfall. Oooh a bidding war- see how fast my pea brain mind gets out of hand!? Well anyway it's nice to have interest in that house. Just gotta wait and see. And at the very least, we have a renter.

So I went out to the center for my first class in 3 weeks. It was a little crazy; I had about 6 or 7 new students, at least 5 or 6 old ones who didn't show up, and everybody at different levels. So I decided to make 2 classes. At first I thought new people and existing people. But it became evident it needed to be different; beginners and not beginners- cause some of the new people had more English than some of my current students. Then I tried to make it morning class and afternoon class but neither group could all do either morning or afternoon, sooooooo...now I'm gonna teach Mon-Wed and Tue-Thur in the afternoon. I guess we'll just see how it goes. Ha ha guess I'm popular... now 2 of the new students, who have some English are in middle school and may not stay; the other 2 didn't last, I think we're older and talk & laugh about stuff they don't find entertaining...but there are cousins and the mom of one of them is also a new student, so she may make them stay. At the end of class another lady came in and said her 18 year old daughter will also come. Kinda cool kinda scary!
At least 2 students who were not in attendance night not be coming back and that's too bad- I really liked them- grandpa and grandaughter, but grandma is mad at the center and so they have not been coming even to eat or do any other activities; she was in the group learning to use the sowing machines. The guy's name is Rueben and he is very enthusiastic and funny and helps the others cause he knows some English, I will miss them very much. A couple of the others I expect on Thurs, and they will find out they have been changed to Mon-Wed cause they are past beginner.

Notice I don't say intermediate or advanced....well if they were advanced they wouldn't bother with my class ha ha, but for theses students, beginner is don't know any words at all, and then not beginner is anything more than that ha ha! We are learning lots of words, a few verbs, and small sentences. I need to work on more verbs and sentences. So I gotta figure out 2 levels, well not really cause the beginners I will just restart with the stuff I used before; flashcards, objects, colors, etc. Ok here we go again.

Ok- then I went to the new Spanish class. Yippee I think it will be great! The class had alot of interaction and I liked that. We finished a video story they were already working on, and I liked her style of pausing it, talking, or quick explanations during. We played a game to win points by answering questions, and I learned a couple of things that for me, were important. So I really enjoyed it. The teacher, Laurie, is coming out to the center on Thurs for our first class with Karen and Mark, and seems pretty open to finding a second day that works for everybody. Did I say Yippee? Oh and 50 pesos a class for an hour and a half...man that beats 100 pesos an hour! I might even go to the class I went to tonite, and the 2 classes I'll do with Karen and Mark. 150 pesos is still less than one class with the old teacher....Everardo said fine with him, he thinks I'm learning fast, but I still doubt myself with comprehension of conversation...

 Tomorrow we get our screen door made and just in the nick of time...I came back to Mexico and it is soooo hot! The evening cools off a tiny bit and so the screen will be great. I think we may be getting our new mattress this week as well, so things just keep lookin' up. We are sleeping on a bed that was here, and I covered it with 2 blankets and never want to look at the mattress which has a stain that invites me to make up murder stories when I go to bed so I try not to think about it. With a brand new mattress I can go back to using a sheet, we're just sleeping on top now anyway..and so far (keep fingers crossed) we have not been inundated by biting insects like in Playa Ventura, where we had to keep the sheet on us and any exposed skin always had big welts by morning. We just spent so so so much money in those months down there that the fact that there was already a bed here, well we simply just put it off...but now we gotta buy one. Of course if and when we ever leave Mexico, we can't take it with us ha ha, I thought we could and Everardo said, oh please! At the border?? Do you know how much could be hidden in a mattress? By the time they were done tearing it apart and not finding anything....it would be worthless....but we can give it to friends...

Ok better look at what I'll bring to class tomorrow- wait is it the beginners or the not? Oh yeah..the not. Ahhh so practice the song! Viva!

Monday. You know I felt kind of disjointed when I got back, like ok now what? I emailed my Spanish teacher last nite to tell her I was back as scheduled and ready to start classes again on Tues. Surprise- she replied and said how about Mon and Tue since she'd be gone for the rest of the week. I decided just Tuesday cause I wanted to go to the meeting this morning, and then after she said see you next week, I replied again asking just when she'd be back. Oh not until a week from Friday...hmmm I kinda needed that info. So I decided to forgo even the Tue class since then it would be 2 weeks. Sucks for me cause that makes 5 weeks of no classes. I had talked to Karen at the center on Friday and she hadn't found another teacher yet so I had decided to stick with Isabel for now.

But I was a little frustrated and decided for different results I needed different actions. So I found the lady's fb page I had been introduced to by my gal pal Pam, and sent her a msg, asking if I could meet her today (Monday) and ask her about her Spanish class. She replied and said sure- and gave me her address; as it turned out the long way cause once I was there, I realized it was basically in walking distance of our house. I met her and her husband; they're Canadians who've lived here for about 8 years. They purchased their house, and it's really cute. Nice open floor plan, a couple of arches to remind me it's Mexico, just a nice house. Ok so what's up is I'm going back tomorrow nite (Tuesday) at 6pm for their Spanish lesson, which costs 50 pesos for an hour and a half, and now I pay 100 pesos for 1 hour. They just have the class once a week, and won't be there next week so I contacted them at just the right time. They gave me the teacher's number and later I gave her a call, with (hopefully) great results. She is very open to a new class as long as she has at least 3 students, and Karen is in 100%- which includes her husband, and probly another guy. So that's 3 or 4. I told her we wanted 2 classes a week and she is open to afternoons, even to teaching out at the center! Amazing huh? So I'll meet her tomorrow nite and then she offered to meet with all of us out at the center on Thursday to nail down what we want to do. I'ma so happy! (my Italian impression) Karen is excited as well, and if she's free will go with me tomorrow nite. The people I met are maybe a little behind me, but maybe they just know other stuff, so who knows how it will go, maybe Tuesdays with them, maybe an entirely different class...anyway- I'm excited.

Oh and other cool news today! Looks like we have a long term renter for the Guerrero house! And they may even be interested in buying the house!!!! (ok pls excuse me while I knock on wood, a couple of times)...ok back. (and it was my head, not wood, but close). Yipee would be so cool. But the fact is a long term renter is also good. We're not charging much more than we pay here, in fact the difference we are going to continue to give to the guy who has been caretaking it for us. In case something big is needed, maybe just to be aware, so basically we'll be taking in what we pay for rent here. This is a GREAT thing, cause our first 6 months in Mexico- well the time we were down there, we bled money. Our credit card is almost at the limit, and I don't even make a payment that covers my monthly medical insurance payment. So is we could start knocking that bill out, even just a little at a time...yes I will breathe easier. Things are lookin' up!

Yesterday we went to the beach late, about 6pm, just for a little while, only Everardo and Sam went in the water, but it was beautiful. Almost as soon as we got there a big school of dolphins went by. Well is 20 or more huge? Some were actually jumping! And jumping two at a time, but not exactly next to each other so you could see both of them, it was so awesome! Then there were tons of big pelicans out there fishing, too, and watching them diving was pretty cool as well.

I went to the meeting today and there were people there. I listened for a while and my feeling of disjointedness slipped away. I stopped by out at the center just to chat and felt even better. Then this evening we went to see the aluminum guy who fixed and made some picture frames for us and he's gonna make us a screen door on Wednesday. man do we ever need it. Life is good, getting better.

oh boy oh boy...viva!

Sunday morning and it's hot outside. We really need a screen door cause it's hot in here but windy outside. Yesterday I tried leaving the door open for a little while but the flies send each other text messages that the door is open and something good is inside! It's nice to be home.

I was thinking about my shuttle bus ride from Phoenix to Puerto Penasco, and it's funny, even if I hadn't known I crossed the border, I would have known. At the border we had to disembark the van, walk across the border and get into a another van. A couple of guys loaded our luggage onto a cart and pulled it along. First the American side guy stopped us with a smile, and I was the only person not asked for ID, I was also the only person who was a US citizen. Not sure why he asked to see everybody else's ID's. Everardo says it to arrest any "illegals"....but at the border? Porque? Do they get a commission or something? Not sure what was up with that. Then we walked a few more feet- across the line I guess, and then a couple of Mexican officials walked up. They didn't ask anybody for ID but asked to see in the ice chest on the cart. Actually there were 2 ice chests, and 2 huge pink bakery boxes, but they only asked to see inside 1 ice chest. Then they confiscated a big bag of pigeon food.  hmmmmm Well I know you can't bring dog food anymore so maybe bird food falls under the same ruling. Ok so then we jump back in the van and drive a couple of streets down and pick up a few more people so we have a full van. We take off towards home. Yes we are in Mexico! The driver is driving sooooo fast! And he's passing people on hills and corners; ok not really hills, but hilly where you can't see what's coming up. I thought well I'm kinda jammed in here so in a crash I'll probly be ok, Then I thought- uh oh all these windows...and then decided to tell myself...really? is this really what you want to think about? And instead I tried to understand the conversation going on around me, and let it go. We got to Puerto Penasco and started passing cars, and I was laughing- yep I'm home ha ha!!
Sam is very happy with his present; a ball chucker. I got it cause when we're in the park I can't throw the ball very far, but with the chucker, well Sam gets a good workout. I took him to the park and Friday with my book and it was so much easier...oh and reading! I had wanted to bring 4 or 5 books with me, but my suitcase would have been too heavy, so I brought one and knew I could snag a couple at the Alano club. I didn't read even once! I was simply too busy. When I had free time I was on the computer or sleeping...and not much of those, either. Yesterday I simply threw the ball out in the street in front of the house (with the new chucker of course), and tired him out pretty quick cause it was hot. I read all day yesterday tho' and it was nice. I was outside for a while....and NO Everardo didn't put up my hammock yet boo hoo, but I do have a nice lounge chair, but the flies were bugging me and Sam, well he wanted to lay on the cool tile in the house so I gave up after about an hour and came back in....it is all about him right? ha ha Well later today, like after 5pm, we're gonna take Sam down to the beach for me to wade and Everardo to see if anybody wants to buy anything. He called to say it's so hot nobody is on the beach right now. We went grocery shopping last nite and the stores were packed with people waiting to venture out when it got cooler. HA! It's not even hot like Playa Ventura!...yet anyway- I hear it gets really really hot in a couple of months.

I had good news and bad news yesterday and today. First the good news- I'm so happy! My best friend in Playa Ventura had stopped talking to me, even "unfriended" me off FB, because of some cruel gossip down there. Unfortunately in a small town- the gossip runs rampant. Family members stab each other in the back, tell secrets, make stuff up. Say that someone else said or did the act that was so bad. Well that happened to us; I'm sure cause we were the ones who left, and how easy to blame us. I got mad and sent a message telling what had actually transpired. This pitted family members against each other, and that cost me a friendship I treasured. I have felt so bad about it for a couple of months, and then the other day I sent her an apology, written in Spanish by me, no help from hubby. In fact I didn't even tell him, because he told me to just let it go. That if she blamed me, well that was up to her. But I couldn't do that, I just had to try one more time. I told her I was sorry I was even involved and that I missed my amiga. This morning I got a message from her and says it's all ok, we are amigas, we are sisters. I'm so happy. She re-accepted my friendship on fb as well so I'm taking a look at her page and what her family has been up to down there. I'm so glad I reached out.

Ok now the bad news. I read the blog of my niece and she sounded so down, so sad, actually I was pretty worried about her. I sent my brother an email and gave him the blog name and said he should read it, that I knew I was only her aunt but I was going to send her a msg and tell her I was worried about her. So I did. I made some suggestions that she might not have considered, places to look for support, to help her find her way. She is my niece, and although I don't know her very well since she grew up in a different state that me, I love her and care about her. She is the same age as my older daughter and so I often think of her, and her little brother, my nephew. Her mom and I are not close, and I think the mom is not the best influence on her; she has her own issues- anyway I decided to say something, knowing I might risk our relationship (hmmm sound familiar- see above ha ha). Everything I said to her I meant to say with love, but when we're talking to people who don't want to hear it...well...So I got a reply last nite- this was after I sent her several messages- oh and she "unfriended" me as well (see a pattern ha ha). So she wrote me a tore me a new asshole! She was extremely offended & insulted by my messages to her. She didn't need any help for anyone and especially not me. She said I was judging her and I didn't even know her. Well it's too bad, but I stand by what I wrote to her. I replied and apologized if she felt offended and insulted, that that was not my intention at all. But I was not sorry for my suggestions, for wanting to reach out to someone I loved who to me seemed to be in trouble.
So this is the bad news, ok maybe sad news. She will probly not speak to me again, and that's her choice. I will still love her and if she ever changes her mind, I'll be here. I would love if my brother and sisters did the same thing if they saw either of my kids in trouble, or even if a close friend of mine saw it. It's a crazy tough world sometimes, and we all need help. And hey who knows what the future will bring. After all I got my other friend back!!

I tried to go to the morning meeting this morning and nobody was there except a guy down here on a 3 week vacation. Neither of us had a key, so we stood outside and chatted; it was nice. Then, about 20 min to 10am, we had just decided to leave, we said the serenity prayer together, the guy who owns the building walks up and asks what's up. He opened the room for us and we decided to stay the final 20 minutes in case any other alcoholic showed up. The guy read out of the Daily Reflections for today and we talked a little about the steps, and how we felt when we came in. I suspect he has a LOT of years. So it turned out to be nice. Hopefully some of the regulars will show tomorrow morning. I know we lost a couple who had to move back to the states while I was gone, another is on vacation and returns at the end of May. Another guy had business in Tuscon, and that only leaves 2 or 3, and they just didn't come today. We are not a huge group, and we seem to be changing. Arrgghh sometimes I am just not so good with change. It has been an interesting year, lots and lots of change. In less than a month I will have lived in Mexico for a year! I think my theme was acceptance and patience. I would like to go into year two with a theme of hope, but we'll see what the universe has in store for me. I really want to kick my Spanish into high gear- but the truth is, I did no studying in California, spoke very little Spanish, and haven't picked up any of my materials since returning, Oh wait! Not true! Good! I used my workbook to write my apology letter to my friend Chela. And I did send an email to my teacher to let her know I was ready to resume classes on Tuesday, so hopefully we will- this Tuesday.
Ok this is full cycle cause I'm thinking (again) how much we need a screen door! I thought we had one in our house in Ca., but I searched the attic and it wasn't there- the type that is just hanging, no door frame, with magnets to attach the midde together. But I think I'm gonna go sit outside now, maybe start a new book...did I say it was nice to be home?