A United States holiday is good for Mexican border towns! At least this one, anyway. Puerto Penasco is not really a border town, but it's only a little more than an hour south of the border, and it's a beach town, so it makes for a great touristy vacation spot- especially for the 3 day weekends like this one (Memorial Day). I actually thought it was next week until about Thursday...but since last nite, it's pretty busy around here. I went down to the Malecon (boardwalk) this morning for an AA meeting; on Saturday it's down there, on the roof of a business- with a patio and a beautiful ocean view. Anyway getting down there I realized there was so much traffic and it was only about 9:15am...amazingly though, a car pulled out and I got a spot right in front of the place. Which ended up no mattering cause there was nobody there. Ah well (I have a feeling nobody goes to that meeting and I had just expected it to be there) So I stood there for a few minutes, looking at the water, then back across the street to see these kids (ok 20's maybe) drinking and dancing on the roof patio of whatever bar/restaurant that was. Remember it was only 9:15 am!

So the party was on. I drove thru the malecon and saw there were lots of tourists already on their buying sprees and I was happy cause Everardo left for the beach at 9am with his display case full of stuff. I drove home to get Sam and took him to the park to throw the ball, and Everardo called and by 10am had already made more than $100 USD! By the end of the day he had made about $250 or $300 I think, and there's still 2 days to go on this holiday weekend. (yipee) Sam and I stayed in the park for about and hour, and then we went for a drive around town. Another week and a half and we will have been here for 6 months, and in Mexico for a year! I'm getting to know Puerto Penasco pretty good- it has so many different neighborhoods and little stores, segundas (second hand stuff), oh and boats- so many boats! Today I saw a huge boat being pulled behind a pickup truck...and wondered when are they too big and need like a semi or something? We drove thru the docks; not much going on there- it was close to noon and any boats that had come in had already off loaded their catch and any boats going out, well they were out. But lots of people milling around. Then I drove along the coast to those neighborhoods, winding in a little first to an area I hadn't seen, then towards the very first place we rented. Yeah the place we rented for a month and stayed in for one day. But today it was easy to find, and now I understand where it is better. Then I drove by a place we had wanted to rent, but had hesitated cause we would have had to buy a stove...and the neighbors had to walk thru our backyard to get to their house....and there was a house across the street for sale. ha ha I drove past it twice- as if we could buy a house here right now! NOT! There were so many of the dune buggys on the road. They have rental places all over- are they still called dune buggys? I mean you can drive them on the street and on the beach. Some of them are so loud, some are just like regular cars. And in Mexico, seat belts may be the new law, but nobody follows it. You see cars packed with people, kids on the dashboards, crawling all over the car. I think maybe the cops enforce it if they need some lunch money ha ha. I'm probly kidding....I never see them pull over families, only kids and sometimes tourists. But they are pretty lax with the tourists; I guess the tourists pay for life around here....I heard that the cartel in this area has an agreement with the cops. They don't sell drugs to tourists....

Then I drove back to our side of town and drove past the very first place we looked at here; the place that made me cry. Well actually I cried after going around with the first lady we got set up with to see rentals. We figured out later she took us only to places of her friends and fellow worshipers of Jehovah Witness, (h ha) and only in San Rafael. Anyway the first place I said no before being inside 2 minutes, I actually said no before we went in. My perception at the time: First, we were waiting around the corner for the key, in front of these 3 houses in a row and I loved them all and thought one of them was the house we were going to see. Again- not! So we go around the corner and I see this sad house with a fence around it that's about 6 inches from the front door. Inside the fridge was hanging open and gross, and in one room I saw some paper hanging from the ceiling. But the yard was nice, shady and big and along the side was actually a long driveway, inside the fence. So like I said I never even looked at it- hated it before I step foot in it. But now, now that I understand the culture here a little bit better, now that I understand the layout of the town, well I decided to drive by, oh and it's right next to the track and the sports fields. Well that fence is not 6 inches from the front door (yeah I gotta go back to my Dec entries and see what I thought...) the place has a front porch across the whole front of the house, the fence is after that. Everybody has a fence here. So I have come to value the fences, and for sure really value that big yard in the back and all the shade. So honestly, I want to see inside that house again. I think the rent was $300 or maybe even $350, but back in Dec Poppi was sure he could get it lower. I do remember part of the layout was a big square kitchen that looked out into a big living room that probly was also the dining room, I saw only one bedroom and no bathrooms. Yep I do still want to see it again. One thing though, Everardo showed me the roof on this place- cause guess what- this idea of looking at it again has been in my brain for awhile now....and he showed me how it has no insulation in the roof- that it will be sooooo hot in there when it gets hot. That this place, for all it's shabbiness, has a good roof...so...well we'll see. I'm not sure if I'm even going to bring it up. nope- I will- I just wanna SEE inside it. Man am I pathetic or what?
Then we drove around a little bit more, me just seeing how things connect here. It's a funny shape- like a big triangle- or a piece of pizza ha ha. There are a LOT of people down here this weekend. We came home and the house was cooler inside than outside so me and Sam came in and plopped down. He was a happy dog for the park and going for a ride- he loves to just hand that head out the side in the back of the truck. I'm trying to make a new plan for my English classes, using the conversation in the book I got from Pam, and then make a bunch of other phrases that would work so somebody could actually contribute to a conversation, since I remember just wishing someone would ask or say exactly what I had learned so I knew what to say! ha ha ha ha. So I worked on that a little bit, planning to go to the track later when it cooled down and Everardo was home.

Ha ha best laid plans...we did not go to the track for walking and him running tonite. But we did go to this fantastic tacos Poblano place that's right down the street for dinner and pigged out. Everardo made some more earrings, and got ready to go out tomorrow. But he gave me a pair of dragonflies and a pair that is the cancer ribbon that say HOPE in tiny letters that he made. See? In the end it all comes back to HOPE. Viva!

Just a short one cause I think I am soooo funny. We went down to the track tonite and Poppi ran for half an hour with Sam while I walked, then he passed Sam off to me for a couple of laps, then he went to the area where you can do a workout; pushups, sit up, pull up, etc., so Sam went over there to lay down while I finished my hour of walking and rocking out ha ha. So when we were both done and walking towards the parking area but still on the track, a couple of young women knda flinched as Sam came by next to Everardo, and I said.."El es muy tranquilo" meaning 'he is very gentle/nice' cause I knew they were startled by Sam. But laughing to myself, and only in my head I said..."y el perro tambien" meaning 'and the dog, too'...Ha ha I thought I was too funny and nobody knew it but me!

It was nice to get out there and walk after feeling so crappy yesterday. This place is packed! I think on Tuesday nite there had to have been over 300 people there! As I stepped onto the track I counted past 50 for people on the track, then 2 teams of older kids playing soccer in the middle, tons of people watching, then on the outside of the track there were at least 3 practices going on for peewee kids, a volleyball game, etc. And it's like this every nite. Tonite the game inside the track was being played by adults, but kid games and peewee games were going on in the surrounding fields. They have big satdium lights around the track and when we left tonite around 8:30 they were still on. The game in the middle was over, but people were in the little workout areas, and the practices still going on. It's all about nighttime here in Mexico. Right before we drove over there, there was another high school parade, this one right on Simon Morua, which is the main street we live off of, and we are only 2 houses in, so it was noisy and Sam and I went out to watch.

I had English class today but not Spanish class. Our new teacher, Laurie has a sinus infection, but I'm thinking she'll be good to go by next Tuesday (fingers crossed). I missed class yesterday at the center cause of my lovely migraine, but was there today. Had a small class; 5 or 6, 2 from the more advanced class and 3-4 from the beginner class. I'm hoping everybody gets back into the swing of classes next week. Cause it feels like it all changed since I got back. And I think maybe that's what happens around here. And I'm ok with that, I think I'm becoming a better teacher; today I tried to expand on the lesson I found in a book that I liked- it was about saying hello and what's your name, and good bye. It had a list of words, a small conversation, then a small story. So I tried to expand the conversation by showing different ways to say hi, that when your name is asked, you ask back, the same with how are you....I think we made a more real conversation, even though it was small. With the other class I have something similar with going out to a restaurant for breakfast, and I'm gonna do the same thing- make it a more "real" conversation. The only thing I feel bad about is the secret project, cause there may not be enough of the original class left who practiced it, to do the presentation...well I can only do what I can do...I just really wanted to do it for Karen & Mark, who would understand how cool it is. But if not, well I learned yet another lesson..which I should have known better than to have taken so long with one thing the way people come and go out there....
But I love being there, and always go home feeling better then when I got there- hey kinda like an AA meeting ha ha.
Ok I'll finish with this- we DO have to pay garbage! The thing is, when they came by we were home and tipped them so they took it! Now it doesn't get picked up at all. I did hear nobody's was getting picked up for over a month, but then last week I saw a couple of trucks in our neighborhood, but ours didn't get picked up. It's super cheap, and we're gonna go down to the city office and pay up- even though Mark out at the center has been amazing by telling us to bring our trash out there since he goes to the dump every 10 days and it only costs him about 20 pesos...
hmmm 2 posts in one day!

So yesterday I went to the doctor..and got a shot. Ha ha it's the answer to everything in Mexico- a shot. I always look them up- google them when I get home- hope I never wish I woulda looked them up before I was injected! But it was good. I had a migraine- I want to say a horrible migraine, a terrible migraine, but doesn't the word migraine conjure up all thoughts of all those words anyway? Maybe "migraine" in Latin or something means.."terrible head pain"...oh no now I'll have to google that! Yeah so mt headache woke me up and I actually cried out. It always makes me think I'm going to throw up as well, but I don't always, and I didn't yesterday. But I had a double whammy- I had a panic attack at the same time when it first hit- or maybe I was having the panic attacks and then the migraine hit...that feels more accurate cause I can remember being afraid before the headache, and Everardo said I was freaking out in my sleep....

Ok so it's 2 things. The migraine; well it happens maybe once or twice a year. I did have one in Playa Ventura, seems like it was about August or maybe September. That's when we found out that Excedrin Migraine had been taken off the market in Mexico. (hmmm I forgot to check when I was in the states). So I had purchased something else that was an aspirin but said it worked for migranes and it did ok, I mean I slept mostly around the clock and was ok the next day- it's like a bubble pops in my brain, and I can almost feel the slime dripping off..but when I took the same pill yesterday it didn't even start to help; this headache seemed much ore painful than any other I'd had. They just started a few years ago- but maybe more because I just remembered when we lived in the Metz house (that was the street- with my kids and ex), I'd be wearing sunglasses in the house cause I had a headache...and that was..well less than 10 years ago, so still, recent. Yuck maybe part of menopause? I shouldn't say yuck cause that would imply they'll go away. Anyway yesterday it started hours before we woke up, I was tossing and turning, almost crying. I took the pill but a couple of hours later, no improvement, so Poppi said, get up we're going to the doctor. So off we went, to the same place as last time when I had the flu, and the same doctor was on duty- I liked that. I felt good about him, and had decided to trust him. And, of course, he gave me shot; as soon as Everardo explained my symptoms he made a quick call, and a woman came in from next door in the pharmacy with a syringe and a couple of little vials. To the butt! Again! haha that's ok. When I got home I went back t bed and slept for hours. I got up and it had dissipated, but I felt weak. And scared that if I moved my head too much it would come back. It didn't though so I stayed up, ate some soup and a sandwich Poppi made me (he is a great soup maker- I'm a soup out of the can girl but he makes it-yum), and then I googled the medicine cause it's written on the receipt- and oh yeah, the visit and the shot- 102 pesos or $9.27USD!! Gotta love going to the doctor in Mexico! I looked up the drug, and it was exactly right; used for things like severe headache, toothache, right after surgery, for moderately severe pain.

Back to the cost for a second; $9.27 USD. I just returned to Mexico from the US where I had several doctor appts. I pay over $400 a month for insurance, and yet 3 of my appts were $95 to see the doctor. One of those appts was to have the dermatologist look at a black mark on my face and a mole on my back that had changed in texture. The appt would have lasted 2 minutes he said quickly the black mark was broken blood vessels- it's a tiny mark, from the sun and I need to protect myself from the sun, he was even kinda of condescending about it- asshole-which in turn kinda pissed me off. He said looking at my deeply tanned arms, you better start wearing something and I said, yeah I live in sunny Mexico, and he said- well maybe you should move! Ok so I will get some good UV protection lotion to start wearing....Ok then he looked at my back and I said the mole has changed, that it felt kinda scratchy, and he said- oh when it changes like that it's a good thing. I could easily freeze it off right now, but unless it's bothering you, you're fine. Wow all that and a box of Crackerjacks for $95. So in that instant I thought of how it kinda rubs on my bra strap, and said- yeah it bothers me. So he shot it with that cold stuff (is it CO2?) and the scab is finally gone. That hurt tho' when he did it. He was just a jackass and I was pissed about the cost. My oncologist was also $95, and my second visit to the OBGYN, too. I think the first visit to him was $50 and the mammogram might have been $50 as well, but crap! I have insurance! I don't know what I think of "Obama Care", but I do know this- if you continue to change nothing- then nothing will change. It is a start, now work it out until it looks better- not just fight it with every last breath. I found it was the way to figure out something in business; just start, do SOMETHING, and then you can revise from there. But just sitting and looking at it doesn't work. The F'ng drug mfgr's and insurance companies are just raping the people, and it really pisses me off. That being said, I will continue to pay the ridiculous monthly payments at least until I finish my pills regime for "after cancer" which is another year and a half...unless I see something really change in healthcare, or maybe until I win Powerball which is now in Calif!

Ok enough! My headache is gone this morning, really last nite but I was exhausted; the only thing left is the funny taste in my mouth, and that usually comes from the panic attacks. Seems like they have stayed the course;about every 6 months although in Playa Ventura I think they were more often, no maybe not more often, they just lasted longer, because I became so stressed out about living there. And I really think they have to do with some kind of chemical imbalance that occurs in my body, or else why would I have this funny taste in my mouth? I am much better at responding to them, altho' this time having the headache scared me more. Maybe it stress, then add fear, i don't know really, but it always scares the shit out of me eve though I know what it is. Poppi is so good to me when it happens; he always says call to me as soon as you feel it coming on. When he is there I feel better. It's hard to explain what they're like. But it's like having 2 consciousnesses..meaning 2 minds, or 2 different thoughts coming from 2 different places in my head, like 2 minds...ok that's weird ha ha. But when they happen I always think I can smell something- something familiar but I never identify it, also that there's something I'm supposed to know... this part is even weirder, not sure I ever thought about it this much. And......the really cool thing is this time, that it's a short term this time (I think), they started in the middle of the nite Tues nite and it's Thursday morning and I only had maybe one during the day yesterday and one that only started to come and then left during last nite. Maybe cause I'm not as scared of them anymore, and maybe they need the chemical input of fear to really come on? That would be cool cause then I could control it. I do still have a bit of a funny taste in my mouth, way back in. I haven't eaten anything yet, but yesterday everything tasted funny.

Wow I'm tired from writing all that! I want to snap out of it and look forward to today, I want to go to the center for my English class, yesterday I obviously didn't go. But I was worried on Mon & Tues cause I seem to have lost some really good students. Yes I am getting more, but where is Berta, Miriam, Rueben, Dora, Isabel, Alejandra, Carmina? Ok I know where Rueben and Dora are, and Jessica is going to find out where they live so I can go visit and ask them to come back. Rueben's wife thought the class was laughing at her, which we were not, and now all three do not come. She was in the sewing group, anyway I want to go and try to talk to her. But the rest..they are all the ones who were working on the song for the gift to Karen and Mark, I hope some show back up this week, and then I missed yesterday..I left for 2 weeks and came back to a different scenario. In fact I had too many students for one class since half were new, that;s why I made 2 classes; M-W and T-Th. I have to be there in 3 hours, but I'll try to go in 2 so they see me...and maybe I can feel back in the swing of things.
We also had no classes with Laurie, our new Spanish teacher because she has a sinus infection this week, so maybe this is just a funky week, eh? I'll also try to get back to walking tonite, I am up to the whole hour, and only missed yesterday, so we'll see today- probly as soon as I eat I'll feel better. It's not super hot outside and it is very windy, but living here I have come to love the wind ha ha. In Playa Ventura even the wind was hot, but here it is a cooling influence.

Ok Everardo is making us breakfast and I need to get dressed. I feel better already, mentally as well. I think I'm different, calmer, more "ok" with who I am. I'm grateful for that. See I always say I'm not sorry for the time we spent in Playa Ventura; it was my huge jump in self awareness, my spirituality, acceptance. It feels good. Viva!

Tuesday morning, May 21. Yesterday was an anniversary I don't usually like to think about, but my daughter chose to use it as an opportunity to celebrate life, and I like that. On May 20, 2005, a criminal, who didn't like the way my daughter looked (yes looked), from her car, at his girlfriend, and so followed her, in their car....and shot her, in the head. With a .38, in the head. Wow- I mean what goes on inside somebody's head to think that's ok. Yeah I guess that's where the criminal part comes in. Well as it turns out, it was a day of miracles, and the miracles continued. Her foot slipped off the accelerator and the car rolled into a fence and stopped. She didn't know what happened except she couldn't see. She did not lose consciousness, and the miracles begin. She had to climb out the passenger side, and the bullet FELL out of her head. Help came quickly cause she was right next to the highway- yeah thank God for that fence. We got the call, and her dad was home and I was at work. I have a fleeting memory of running all the stop signs and stop lights from work to home (which was on the way), scared he would head up there without me, and he was in the driveway when I got there. It was Friday afternoon at 5pm, and the highway was totally congested with commute traffic, but next miracle- it just opened up for us and we flew up the road towards the hospital in Santa Rosa. I called the hospital and they put me thru to the emergency room AND they let me talk to her! We arrived amidst a bunch of cops and I ran right thru the security they had set up- nothing was going to keep me from my kid.My beautiful wonderful fantastic 20 yr old daughter. She was scared and so was I. The attending physician said she had been shot, that there was a hole in her head....that he could see her brain. (writing this part - well it's reliving it). Ok well when I'm terrified, I make a joke, so I said -oh so you can see there's one in there! The doctor was shocked, but Drewy made kind of a laughy sound and said "Oh Mom"...and we were better.

She had to have a surgery, to "clean up" a little. When the doctor told us that, her dad started to faint and he had to catch him. Afterwards they told us it was a miracle, that they had never seen anything like it. So your brain sits in a bag called the durum. (not sure of the spelling here). The bullet broke thru her skull, ripped thru the durum, touched her brain, and stopped. They told us she would need extensive therapy, speech and maybe other types, depending on the damage; she might have issues with things like memory....ok enough said...well she was only in the hospital for a few days. She was there as "Jane Doe" while the police tried to figure out if it was gang related.... So she came home and stayed with us. At first, in the hospital too, she couldn't remember the word for something and was really frustrated, in fact we still laugh about "bill hillys!" (hillbillys) she would say words backwards...
She had speech therapy for a very short few weeks, and she recovered...100%!!! She had to have brain scans for a few months and then once a year for a few years, and she's fine, she's perfect, she's 100%!!!! My beautiful daughter is perfect. I still worry about her, I wish she had to wear a helmet ha ha.
So that was 8 years ago and my daughter is perfect (did I say that already?) Sometimes when she's very agitated, she messes up her words, hmmm would that happen anyway? So last nite I saw her chatting about it on Facebook and her friends all telling her how much they love her. Then later she told me in our private chat that they are having dinner with a few close friends and her sister to celebrate she's alive. Then we talked about her making this date be a "pay it forward" day for her, a day or a weekend to give back in some way, volunteer somewhere or just do something, anything to be grateful for her life. Yeah, she wasn't done here on earth, thank you God for that. Miracles are always God's work and my daughter is living proof of so many miracles. I love you Drewy.

Ok this post wiped me out. More later. As always, viva.

(oh and by the way- the criminal is in prison for 31 years, not eligible for parole for 27 years- good.)