I can't believe I haven't written all month! Lots going on and April has flown by.
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Finds from walking on the beach...
I found this while I was dancing in the morning on the beach
Everardo got really creative while building his garden. He used old tires, cut and painted them and made planters. The earth here is very sandy so he gets dirt off the nearby mountain and adds horse poop...but he's deciding what kind of planter boxes he wants...he added sheets of plastic and now we have a greenhouse!
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Oh and he made his own hydroponic watering system using barrels (like the one in the picture above that is cut into a planter)..barrels that wash up onto the shore from the tuna boats.
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Ok and a couple of random shots of what's happening around here in April"
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Yes it's been a busy month. Planting veges and flowers, and building and revising the garden area. Then our neighbor decided she wanted a greenhouse as well and was going to have Everardo build it- but then she decided to just contribute to ours so we have plants and veges growing all over the place.
I went to the United States early in the month and brought back lots of seeds and so did she. Everardo is making planters out of everything from old tires to empty dog treat boxes to empty gallon plastic milk jugs. We have tomatoes, lettuce, chiles, zuchini, watermelon, onions, summer squash, radishes, carrots...and more. We're not sure what will grow...this is an agricultural area but not here- here it's beach. But around Ensenada they grow everything.
I always thought I lived "in the country"; northern California has dairy farms and horse ranches and everything in between,...but here- well here it's sorta more in your face. The other day Poppi had to slam on the breaks for a cow who stepped into the road. A couple of weeks ago there was a herd of goats along the road. Some of the farms are right along side the main roads, so we see what's growing, and we see the people planting. So now I'm wondering how much is planted by hand in California and how much is by machine. The planting areas were not near me however, and I think that was just naive of me to write- the central valley has thousands of migrant workers and near us in northern Calif are the vineyards of Napa and Sonoma counties, which also have thousands of workers. I'm just not used to seeing it on a daily basis.
So I made a few pesos helping my friend with the reservation schedule and it was working online and took a few hours each week this month, so I didn't feel much like going online, so my poor blog didn't get written. I was also trying to get my school supplies/handouts together for my new group of students and I can't believe how well thats going!!
I started teaching at a new location, at the Cantu salon where there are already some adult education classes going on. They finish at 6:30 so I agreed to have my class from 6:30-8. It's so cool! I have more than 20 students and a few kids as well. It's funny, the kids can pronounce the words much more easily than many of the adults...but their attention spans are much shorter ha ha! Anyway these adults want to learn. Now it's true I had about 15 people when I started the class in the other place, and then it got steadily smaller and smaller, in the end just 3 students. But here these people are already at a class they chose to take, and they're staying for mine. I was actually a little surprised, because after an hour and a half of math (at least one class is math) I would think they'd be too tired to do another hour and a half of learning English. So it's been 2 weeks of 2 classes a week (Tue & Thurs), and I have almost the same amount. This past Thursday I had maybe only 14 adults (still alot) and they told me that a couple of people were sick, and someone else can only come every other Thurs...but they told me that they like the class. Each time I am nervous all afternoon before the class, worried that they won't like it, or I won't be a good teacher. And every time it goes great! I was SO happy when they told me they like my class. It is not formal English, it's for having a conversation, so we are not talking about "rules".
It was funny, I was trying to tell them in Spanish that next week or maybe the following week I may not be there because I might have to go to Florida because my brother in law is sick, but I will return and we will have classes for as long as they want to come. Well when I said "proxima semana" (next week), this woman named Carina said "examen?" (test?) I laughed and no no no you will have no tests in here- this is supposed to be fun- you will learn if you want to do the work. They all laughed. I start the class with a lesson in mind, but if something else comes up then I start to build the class around that. Another cool thing about this class is that it's about half and half men & women. I like that. And a couple of guys speak a few words of English and one was asking me how to write a couple of things- he wants to learn to read and write for a job. So I told him think about what he wants to learn to say, read & write and I can build class lessons around it so he will learn and so will everyone else. He was very happy about that. If you can't tell by reading this, I am very excited and happy about doing this class.
So about my brother in law. Last September I went to visit him and my sister in Upstate New York because I was afraid I'd never see him again because of his health. Now they're in Key West Florida where they live during the winter, but he has gotten progressively worse and last week had to go to the hospital. He was there 3 days and then released into a rehab which is more of a convalescent hospital I think. My sister sent me an email a week ago last Friday to tell me what was going on. Then a really weird thing happened as well (she and I agree-weird). My younger sister, who I have written about here- the one who chooses not to communicate with anyone; with me she doesn't answer the phone, emails, facebook private msg...nothing. I stopped trying. I've worked hard on acceptance around it. That's her choice and her life. I was getting pretty angry though when she blew off my daughter- backing out of coming to her Christmas party (that my daughter was so proud to be having in her beautiful home- a family party), and then again when I was up there last summer and we bought a bunch of food for a family bbq and she backed out the nite before. Then when sister and I had an disagreement over my mother's ashes she mailed them to my daughter instead of driving 15 minutes over to her house to deliver them. Really?? At least they are there, and when I go up there, probably in August I will take them and spread the ashes in Yosemite as she asked. So sister won't go anywhere or communicate with the outside world. I heard from my niece that she got laid off her job a few months ago- so why couldn't she take the ashes to Yosemite? Or to my daughter??? Yeah anyway I will take care of it. So back to the story- Little sister happened to email big sister right when this was happening- Barry my brother in law needing to go to the hospital. So big sister wrote back to little sister and gave her a quick synopsis of what was going on (Yeah more resentment here: last summer I emailed little sister to say I was very worried about Barry and wanted to go visit, and did she want to come with me- no reply-yeah she just didn't bother to reply. Nothing to me- I went alone and had an awesome time with them) OK so she receives the email...calls the airlibe and buys a ticket and calls big sister to say she's on her way. Wow- did I say wow? How weird was that? Suddenly she all into family? Ok enough sarcasm for now.
I am really happy and grateful that she responded in that way. That she just went. My sister is so happy to have her there. Little sister said you take care of Barry and I'll take care of you. Big sister needs the support, someone to lean on- I am very glad she's there. I am still here. Little sister will go home after 2 weeks, and she has now been there for one. A couple of things- I was happy for big and little sisters to have some one on one time together. I also want to be able to be there for big sister when little sister goes home so she's not alone in this. I have spoken with little sister a few times during the week. I want to get both of their perspectives. Little sister and I agreed if she tells me "come" I will buy a ticket and go no questions asked. Meaning if in her judgement Barry is taking a turn for the worse, I need to get out there. As my daughter told me, I need to get together with little sister in slid support for big sister and for Barry. I agree. I haven't talked to her about my personal life, only about big sister and the Bear (we call him the Bear). We tell each other we love each other but I have learned (and hopefully won't forget) that with her love does not mean friendship or communication, and I expect once this is over she will go back to not interacting with me- and I will not make that assumption only to be hurt again. We have a shared past, but not a shared present and I cannot speak to the future. If I need to go before she leaves I will do that with no problem and will be happy to see her, but with no expectation.
I kinda suspect the "come" call is coming. Today was the first day he didn't have interest in eating. Up to now, even though he is very weak, and having trouble making words, making connection, doing anything physical, he has still been eating good. Even though he's had to be fed- he still ate everything placed in front of him. Both big sister and I have been using that as a measuring stick for how he's doing. Big sister was kinda more worried about him tonite and was on her way back down to the hospital after dinner to check on him. I wonder if tomorrow she will ask me to come. I told them both that whoever says it, I will come. I was kind of relying on little sister last week because I wasn't sure if big sister was in a little bit of denial, or just hoping against hope for things to turn around, or that maybe he had simply slipped down to a new, lower plateau. But I don't think she is in denial now- she describes it as "fading away". For me...well I saw him in Sept, I spent time with him and I love him- I've known him longer than anyone in my life except my sisters and my brother. And I want to support him, but....I want to be there for my sister. I don't want her to be alone...I want her to know she can say and/or do anything she wants and I am there for her. I know she gets the same unconditional love from little sister, and I want to carry that on. Little sister is not sure if she will leave at the end of 2 weeks. We are all not sure of anything. So as big sister is, I am living it day to day- minute to minute really. So I expect in the next few days...maybe even tomorrow I will be making airline reservations. Damn. I hate this. My sister has been married to him more than 40 years...unlike me who kept trying to get the marriage thing right- she has been with one man all these years. And now at the young age of 62 she must look ahead to a new life. Same as my mom who lost her husband when he was only 59 and she was 58. Your life changes, begins again. And my mom lived another almost 30 years.
My sister has always lived far away from me, Australia, Barcelona, France, then on the east coast. Funny- the year they move back to the United States, I move to Mexico! And back in 1988, I surprised everyone by taking my then 2 year old daughter and moving to southern Calif for a job- and this sister and the Bear, moved to Long Beach (southern Calif) from Australia the SAME WEEK! So weird!! Later that year little sister ALSO moved to southern Calif to be with a boyfriend. Then a year later I could no longer take the smog, the traffic the cement world of southern Calif and moved back to northern Calif (above San Francisco). Then little sister moved back up as well a few months later. Sometime after that big sister and the Bear went to the east coast, bought another sailboat and sailed across the ocean to Barcelona. I don't know where she will land. Their home in Upstate New York is beautiful and the area is amazing. She also has some friends there who are her surrogate family. Very close. In fact that's another shitty thing about all this happening right now. They were getting close to going back to New York when Barry just could not go on. My sister has friends in Florida, close girl friends I think, but the New York friends are friends to both of them. Family. Well we shall see.
Ok here's my serenity corner; like my beach, a place for me to feel safe.
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I think I might have posted a picture of this when I first dragged the rocks in from down the road and put Buddha in the corner, but since Poppi has planted flowers and they're starting to come in. The ropes you see hanging down are ropes that I have been dragging up from the beach for the past year whenever I find them. I drape them along the wall on the outside because it looks so ugly...that off dirty white and water stains- the wall itself is old and then anything standing near the beach deteriorates quickly. But as it turns out the ends hanging into my serenity corner look pretty good too! I have a new plan for the outside wall. Everardo is going to paint it white, then I have a friend who is an amazing artist and she's going to paint some pictures on it for me! I want an octopus, a whale, a fish, a crab....in bright colors. She asked me to help her with some computer work for a business they have started up and planned to pay me. I said well how about a trade? And the cool thing was she was really into it!! Ha ha!! So maybe next month I'll be able to afford a couple of quarts of some bright colors and then let the project begin! Yipee.
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Ok one more picture...one with my love, to sign off with. I hope to write again soon! Viva!
Everardo got really creative while building his garden. He used old tires, cut and painted them and made planters. The earth here is very sandy so he gets dirt off the nearby mountain and adds horse poop...but he's deciding what kind of planter boxes he wants...he added sheets of plastic and now we have a greenhouse!
I went to the United States early in the month and brought back lots of seeds and so did she. Everardo is making planters out of everything from old tires to empty dog treat boxes to empty gallon plastic milk jugs. We have tomatoes, lettuce, chiles, zuchini, watermelon, onions, summer squash, radishes, carrots...and more. We're not sure what will grow...this is an agricultural area but not here- here it's beach. But around Ensenada they grow everything.
I always thought I lived "in the country"; northern California has dairy farms and horse ranches and everything in between,...but here- well here it's sorta more in your face. The other day Poppi had to slam on the breaks for a cow who stepped into the road. A couple of weeks ago there was a herd of goats along the road. Some of the farms are right along side the main roads, so we see what's growing, and we see the people planting. So now I'm wondering how much is planted by hand in California and how much is by machine. The planting areas were not near me however, and I think that was just naive of me to write- the central valley has thousands of migrant workers and near us in northern Calif are the vineyards of Napa and Sonoma counties, which also have thousands of workers. I'm just not used to seeing it on a daily basis.
So I made a few pesos helping my friend with the reservation schedule and it was working online and took a few hours each week this month, so I didn't feel much like going online, so my poor blog didn't get written. I was also trying to get my school supplies/handouts together for my new group of students and I can't believe how well thats going!!
I started teaching at a new location, at the Cantu salon where there are already some adult education classes going on. They finish at 6:30 so I agreed to have my class from 6:30-8. It's so cool! I have more than 20 students and a few kids as well. It's funny, the kids can pronounce the words much more easily than many of the adults...but their attention spans are much shorter ha ha! Anyway these adults want to learn. Now it's true I had about 15 people when I started the class in the other place, and then it got steadily smaller and smaller, in the end just 3 students. But here these people are already at a class they chose to take, and they're staying for mine. I was actually a little surprised, because after an hour and a half of math (at least one class is math) I would think they'd be too tired to do another hour and a half of learning English. So it's been 2 weeks of 2 classes a week (Tue & Thurs), and I have almost the same amount. This past Thursday I had maybe only 14 adults (still alot) and they told me that a couple of people were sick, and someone else can only come every other Thurs...but they told me that they like the class. Each time I am nervous all afternoon before the class, worried that they won't like it, or I won't be a good teacher. And every time it goes great! I was SO happy when they told me they like my class. It is not formal English, it's for having a conversation, so we are not talking about "rules".
It was funny, I was trying to tell them in Spanish that next week or maybe the following week I may not be there because I might have to go to Florida because my brother in law is sick, but I will return and we will have classes for as long as they want to come. Well when I said "proxima semana" (next week), this woman named Carina said "examen?" (test?) I laughed and no no no you will have no tests in here- this is supposed to be fun- you will learn if you want to do the work. They all laughed. I start the class with a lesson in mind, but if something else comes up then I start to build the class around that. Another cool thing about this class is that it's about half and half men & women. I like that. And a couple of guys speak a few words of English and one was asking me how to write a couple of things- he wants to learn to read and write for a job. So I told him think about what he wants to learn to say, read & write and I can build class lessons around it so he will learn and so will everyone else. He was very happy about that. If you can't tell by reading this, I am very excited and happy about doing this class.
So about my brother in law. Last September I went to visit him and my sister in Upstate New York because I was afraid I'd never see him again because of his health. Now they're in Key West Florida where they live during the winter, but he has gotten progressively worse and last week had to go to the hospital. He was there 3 days and then released into a rehab which is more of a convalescent hospital I think. My sister sent me an email a week ago last Friday to tell me what was going on. Then a really weird thing happened as well (she and I agree-weird). My younger sister, who I have written about here- the one who chooses not to communicate with anyone; with me she doesn't answer the phone, emails, facebook private msg...nothing. I stopped trying. I've worked hard on acceptance around it. That's her choice and her life. I was getting pretty angry though when she blew off my daughter- backing out of coming to her Christmas party (that my daughter was so proud to be having in her beautiful home- a family party), and then again when I was up there last summer and we bought a bunch of food for a family bbq and she backed out the nite before. Then when sister and I had an disagreement over my mother's ashes she mailed them to my daughter instead of driving 15 minutes over to her house to deliver them. Really?? At least they are there, and when I go up there, probably in August I will take them and spread the ashes in Yosemite as she asked. So sister won't go anywhere or communicate with the outside world. I heard from my niece that she got laid off her job a few months ago- so why couldn't she take the ashes to Yosemite? Or to my daughter??? Yeah anyway I will take care of it. So back to the story- Little sister happened to email big sister right when this was happening- Barry my brother in law needing to go to the hospital. So big sister wrote back to little sister and gave her a quick synopsis of what was going on (Yeah more resentment here: last summer I emailed little sister to say I was very worried about Barry and wanted to go visit, and did she want to come with me- no reply-yeah she just didn't bother to reply. Nothing to me- I went alone and had an awesome time with them) OK so she receives the email...calls the airlibe and buys a ticket and calls big sister to say she's on her way. Wow- did I say wow? How weird was that? Suddenly she all into family? Ok enough sarcasm for now.
I am really happy and grateful that she responded in that way. That she just went. My sister is so happy to have her there. Little sister said you take care of Barry and I'll take care of you. Big sister needs the support, someone to lean on- I am very glad she's there. I am still here. Little sister will go home after 2 weeks, and she has now been there for one. A couple of things- I was happy for big and little sisters to have some one on one time together. I also want to be able to be there for big sister when little sister goes home so she's not alone in this. I have spoken with little sister a few times during the week. I want to get both of their perspectives. Little sister and I agreed if she tells me "come" I will buy a ticket and go no questions asked. Meaning if in her judgement Barry is taking a turn for the worse, I need to get out there. As my daughter told me, I need to get together with little sister in slid support for big sister and for Barry. I agree. I haven't talked to her about my personal life, only about big sister and the Bear (we call him the Bear). We tell each other we love each other but I have learned (and hopefully won't forget) that with her love does not mean friendship or communication, and I expect once this is over she will go back to not interacting with me- and I will not make that assumption only to be hurt again. We have a shared past, but not a shared present and I cannot speak to the future. If I need to go before she leaves I will do that with no problem and will be happy to see her, but with no expectation.
I kinda suspect the "come" call is coming. Today was the first day he didn't have interest in eating. Up to now, even though he is very weak, and having trouble making words, making connection, doing anything physical, he has still been eating good. Even though he's had to be fed- he still ate everything placed in front of him. Both big sister and I have been using that as a measuring stick for how he's doing. Big sister was kinda more worried about him tonite and was on her way back down to the hospital after dinner to check on him. I wonder if tomorrow she will ask me to come. I told them both that whoever says it, I will come. I was kind of relying on little sister last week because I wasn't sure if big sister was in a little bit of denial, or just hoping against hope for things to turn around, or that maybe he had simply slipped down to a new, lower plateau. But I don't think she is in denial now- she describes it as "fading away". For me...well I saw him in Sept, I spent time with him and I love him- I've known him longer than anyone in my life except my sisters and my brother. And I want to support him, but....I want to be there for my sister. I don't want her to be alone...I want her to know she can say and/or do anything she wants and I am there for her. I know she gets the same unconditional love from little sister, and I want to carry that on. Little sister is not sure if she will leave at the end of 2 weeks. We are all not sure of anything. So as big sister is, I am living it day to day- minute to minute really. So I expect in the next few days...maybe even tomorrow I will be making airline reservations. Damn. I hate this. My sister has been married to him more than 40 years...unlike me who kept trying to get the marriage thing right- she has been with one man all these years. And now at the young age of 62 she must look ahead to a new life. Same as my mom who lost her husband when he was only 59 and she was 58. Your life changes, begins again. And my mom lived another almost 30 years.
My sister has always lived far away from me, Australia, Barcelona, France, then on the east coast. Funny- the year they move back to the United States, I move to Mexico! And back in 1988, I surprised everyone by taking my then 2 year old daughter and moving to southern Calif for a job- and this sister and the Bear, moved to Long Beach (southern Calif) from Australia the SAME WEEK! So weird!! Later that year little sister ALSO moved to southern Calif to be with a boyfriend. Then a year later I could no longer take the smog, the traffic the cement world of southern Calif and moved back to northern Calif (above San Francisco). Then little sister moved back up as well a few months later. Sometime after that big sister and the Bear went to the east coast, bought another sailboat and sailed across the ocean to Barcelona. I don't know where she will land. Their home in Upstate New York is beautiful and the area is amazing. She also has some friends there who are her surrogate family. Very close. In fact that's another shitty thing about all this happening right now. They were getting close to going back to New York when Barry just could not go on. My sister has friends in Florida, close girl friends I think, but the New York friends are friends to both of them. Family. Well we shall see.
Ok here's my serenity corner; like my beach, a place for me to feel safe.
So I decided to post a couple of shots of me in my work out stuff. The purple is my gift to myself for meeting my year commitment to myself. I laughed to myself because I made a goal so what is my reward to myself?? A hot fudge sundae? ha ha ha Kinda misses the point right? So I happened to be in Target looking for shorts for Everardo when I went up to the states, and I walked past the work out stuff, which was on sale, and thought- HEY! That's the perfect reward! So I bought 3 outfits, purple, orange and blue. The truth is I always wear a tshirt over them like in the other picture, the one with the hat and sunglasses- that's what I wear to dance on the beach and to the free senior stretch class. I am proud of myself and I am still working it. I've lost another 6 pounds I think this month- I'm only 2 pounds away from my original goal of 60 pounds in a year. But as time went by I realized it was not reasonable to think I could lose 5 lbs every single month- but boy i came close! So I don't need to lose the same amount here in year 2, but I hope to learn how to maintain, and really embrace this new healthy lifestyle. I hope to not ever return to the eating and no exercise style I was living that got me so out of shape...and a better candidate for cancer! Because it was me realizing that I needed to take action to stop cancer from coming back that got me into this lifestyle. And yes I can easily stay with it on a trip to Florida, because it is the way I live now...yeah...I like that.
Ok one more picture...one with my love, to sign off with. I hope to write again soon! Viva!
