Ok so I've been trying to change the name on my blog- I want to add..."and Back" to the title since we're back in northern California. Finally I got on a help screen and asked so waiting for the answer. I want to start writing regularly again so I'm just going to start regardless of when I alter the name. I guess the first sentence in my recent posts say so anyway ha ha.
So I want to talk about where we are, what I'm discovering here, and the amazing hike I've been taking every couple of days- and this morning realized it's a magic path. And how the path reminds me of Mexico- physically and spiritually. Ukiah is at the beginning of the redwoods, an hour from the coast (maybe a little bit more), and about 2 and a half hours north of San Francisco. I had to go to Oakland (across the bay from SF) when we first got here to homeland security to get some document signed off so we could get the truck imported back into the states. Ha ha what a hassle that's been. I had to go there 2 days in a row because when I got there the first time they asked for something that hadn't told me was required when I called the day before. I hate driving across the San Rafael-Richmond Bridge so yipee I got to go both ways across 2 days in a row. But the lady was very nice. And all she did was walk out to the truck- look at the vin number, sign and stamp the document. Less than 5 minutes. Then we had to get the truck smogged- no small feat when the damn check engine light never goes off. Then we checked google for the issue and read it's a huge scam- yeah great. But then someone sent us to a friend and "all of a sudden" it passed. This is a small town alright- we went to the DMV to ask what the next step was- and the woman looked at us and said- wow I don't know- can you go home and look it up online? You can make an appt right now to come back- ha ha so we went home and I made an appt in Santa Rosa. This guy knew exactly what to do and we're waiting for our new license plates. Luckily we both have Mexican and US driver licenses so we can keep driving with the Mexican plates. So basically it's been 5 months trying to take care of it....wow right?
Ukiah is very small- 15,000 people. The town we lived in here before we went to Mexico; Petaluma has about 60,000 so 4 times as big, and I always felt like it was a small town. Of course the first town we lived in down in Mexico, below Acapulco had less than 1,000. Then Puerto Penasco was 57,000, and Punta Banda again less than a thousand but 20 min south of Ensenada which although very spread out has a ton of people (like half a million). Add to that language and cultural differences, well Ukiah is pretty different for me- but I think different in a good way. I like that it's small. The main street reminds me of Petaluma, but the Petaluma of many years ago. In the last couple of weeks it hasn't been raining so much, but before that we were mostly inside so haven't seen too much of the town besides grocery stores and AA meetings ha ha. But online I saw that they have an art walk on the first Friday of the month; I've seen several art galleries and bought something in 2 of them. Actually tomorrow I get to pick up a print I bought in one place and am having it framed in another. I tried hard to find a frame in a thrift store. I went to 3 thrift stores looking for the right frame. Hmmm maybe I have seen a bit of this town eh? Anyway I even bought a frame that would fit (11x14) I think for a dollar, but when I got it home it just wasn't right. So I'm paying twice as much for a frame as I did for the picture- which is a print of a watercolor of an old wooden door. Yeah sounds weird, when I get it back I'll take a photo and post it here. Actually today I went by there on my way back from Home Depot buying more paint (another story) and it will be ready tomorrow, but I bought 2 more prints, that are on white mats- I don't plan to put them in frames, they are purple and green and will go on the wall behind our bed. I think with no frame it makes them softer, more bedroom like. Yes the wall behind the bed is painted a very deep purple. The 2 side walls are light purple and the 4th wall is green.
Hubby is painting the inside of the house for us (ok ok for me). Shades of purple, green, one dark red wall in the living room & the guest room will be light blue and maybe orange. Left is 3 bedrooms- one is the guest room, one is the exercise room and one is an "office"- has our old dining room table, the printer, bills, etc so the kitchen table is not the keeper of all that stuff ha ha. Purples blues, orange, we'll see how they turn out. Maybe sounds wacky but it always ends up amazing!
We are both working out. I started on Jan 8th weighing myself and starting to count my daily calories again. I hadn't done it since I left Mexico. Although I kept up exercising but was way out past Jupiter as far as eating was concerned. And man did I see I haven't changed at all. Once I started eating crap I just went all out. In fact nobody knows that I found in my daughter's freezer, way in the back underneath a bunch of stuff- frozen chocolate cookie dough. In fact not just the dough- it was already divided into little pieces that you simply break off and put on a pan and then bake or microwave. Microwave- yeah- but I couldn't even wait for that- plus the smell right? So almost every nite I broke off 2 of those little pieces and ate them frozen. Actually it just took a couple of minutes for them to soften up a little and then I would eat them. Kind of nibble around the edges as they got softer- ha ha making it sound almost normal- it was not. It was secretive, and still nobody knows about it. I'm SO happy I just wrote about it here. I snuck that frozen cookie dough whenever I was alone downstairs. Maybe Everardo was just in the shower- that's enough time! So there was 2 packages of those damn cookies and I ate every bit of it! My daughter is not a huge sweets eater and probly forgot it was in there. Plus there was SO much other food in the fridge, the cupboards...everywhere. I made Danica's lunch every nite for her to take to school and so I knew exactly what treats we had. Ok one other obsessive eating thing I did. I bought these things - maybe called Zingers. They were twinkies but with coconut on the outside of them. I don't really like coconut, so I thought that was a good idea because if it was just a box of twinkies- well I'd polish those off in no time! Turned out Danica didn't like them either ha ha. One day I tried to cut off the coconut and them eat it. Didn't work very well, it was coming apart and still tasted like coconut. I tried it again another day though. Talk about insane right?
Well I'm sad to say in 3 short months I put 18 lbs back on. But some of it has been easy to shed. Since Jan 8 I've lost 11 lbs, and I can fot in everything I was wearing when I got to Calif. Hmmm but I exercised...so that means that food really is it. For gaining and losing anyway. The exercise is really for my health. But the problem is that when I stress I eat. I mean it's a better solution than drinking- which is what I did for years....but it still means I'm not great at coping with stress. Which is kinda funny since I've always had stressful jobs and found myself in soooo many stressful situations over the years. Aha! Meditation. I have learned that there are lots of solutions to lots of stressors- I leanred that via 12 step program- yeah thank God I'm in recovery. But it's such a life long journey isn't it? Ha ha I made a funny- life is lifelong!
Well last Sunday nite we went to a free 2 hour Buddhist meditation group. I was so happy Everardo came with me. And he liked it; I think he's going to keep going with me to it. It just started, and many in the group have been meditating for years but a few are new. The meditation group I was part of in Mexico was more of a guided meditation & book discussion. Not sure what this one is. The leader was stuck in traffic and was not there, so another person (not sure of the word) lead meditation sittings, and talked a little bit but I think the leader will speak of the Buddha. One of the leaders came up and talked to me at the break and told me just to practice sitting with myself for now.
Right outside of town is the City of 10,000 Buddhas. I knew it was there and I was planning on checking it out, hopefully taking a class of some type of instruction. Then I got a msg from our realtor- she is a very nice young woman- probly mid 30's, and she knew I was interested in the place- she found out that the Sunday nite group was starting here in town and it's less than 10 min from our house. So cool- I'm excited about what I may get from it on a spiritual level...and as a solution to stess...aha!
So the magic path. The place I was talking about where I go hiking now; well I've been doing it 3 days week for about 3 weeks I guess. I walk by myself, although the day Halla came up to see us and the new place she wanted to hike so she and I and Sam & Daisy (her dog and ours) walked it. She really liked it. I'm hoping Halla and I are building a relationship. Yeah yeah if you've been reading my blog then you know I've said this before ha ha. And I always get hurt when she blows me off. Well I'm trying very hard to have no expectations. In fact the 3 months we were in Santa Rosa while we looked for this house, well I saw her for a total of about an hour by herself and maybe 2 hours in a group. Not on Thanksgiving and when on Christmas all I got was a text, I was done. So for New Years I sent her a msg (she doesn't answer her phone) and let her know I loved her more than life itself and hoped that maybe in 2016 we could build a relationship- but she would have to initiate it. That I love her but could not, would not chase her anymore. A month went by, and I asked the universe every day to be able to accept that my daughter didn't wish to have a relationship with me. To remember this was not new news. That I investigated myself- my intentions, my motives and believe I was doing all I could. But I can not make some love me or want to be around me. That it was about her, not me. And then she texted me. And wanted to come up. So we are texting, we had a beautiful day that day and I'm hopeful for more. Vamos a ver (we'll see).
As always I digress. The path. I didn't know what I would get from walking that path. I'm so grateful and look forward to it every time. Ha ha although tomorrow is zumba day now that I'm talking about it I want to walk. But I was also thinking that since Saturday is not a regular exercise day I could walk but at a slower pace, and notice more. It's a hike and I push myself to walk fast. I do see so much even at the faster pace; today I saw a salamander, a banana slug, & a deer. The trees are so beautiful, the moss, the leaves, the needles, the water- streams and tiny waterfalls; the larger stream, the sound of the water. Yesterday we took a road we hadn't yet out towards the coast. We went to Willits and then out from there (maybe highway 20). We drove thru redwoods, mountains and valleys, fog and drizzle and sun. It was an amazing beautiful drive. It reminded me of when we drove thru Nayarit. The same greenery, waterfalls along the way. Wispy fog, sun, all of it. But in the end the redwoods are what affect me the most, and those were absent in Nayarit. (But I do understand why the call it the Nayarit riviera! So beautiful). The place I hike is like that. It was the route we drove, only close up and personal. I know I have mentioned before that I like to pray out loud, talk out loud to the universe. And the vineyard near our house was good for that when I was walking Sam. Well this park is about 5 minutes in the other direction.
Half a mile. I actually drive it instead of walking because I want to get up in the hills, and since it takes me a little more than an hour of hard hiking- when I finish I'm pooped out and soaking wet- so happy to drive the 5 min back home ha ha. The first 20 minutes or so is uphill. In fact the path to get to where the hiking path starts is uphill. Ha ha I'm breathing hard by the time I hit the trail. It winds up the back of the hill, under trees and thru the brush and the ferns. When I can start to breathe I start to pray. I thank the universe for this day, for every day that's come before this one, and any day that may come after. Today I talked and like Tues I just began to be a part of the trail, I was breathing in the trees, my footsteps- I could feel each part of my legs, my muscles in my thighs. I felt like I was part of the forest. I'm starting to see that I am the best me I have ever been. I am happier than I've ever been. I am in better physical shape- I've never kept up an exercise program this long- coming up on 2 years. My spiritual self continues to enhance- I guess that's the word. I'm working on parts of myself. I'm a better person- I try hard to be nice to people, to be helpful, to be of service. I'm even seeing that the awful person I was while we were in Santa Rosa, well that is a lesson to me that when things are good I fly around the room in my serenity cape, but when things are not so good- I stress out. I eat, I am judgmental, I don't want to go on about that right this second because I'm so happy about what I'm getting from my hike! Awareness. Serenity. Forgiveness. Acceptance. These are the things I want in my life and when I'm walking in those woods I can articulate it, ask for it. Recognize things about myself. It's like my rock in Playa Ventura. When I felt so isolated and I started sitting out there by myself and talking to the universe and how my spirituality began to grow. I'm getting those feelings again. It's so awesome.
So I don't have any pics for this time. I need to download from my phone in order to put them here. I think I'm probly going to start using this dear diary blog for my weight loss and exercise journey as well as talking about life here. It is different from Mexico, and while I used to live just a couple of hours south of here, after being in Mexico I see things differently. Ha ha we try not to be as wasteful as we used to be. Even not flushing the toilet a hundred times a day...for me putting the paper in the basket is now normal from doing it in Mexico. It's just him and I, and if I know someone is coming over I flush and empty the baskets. We look for simple foods. I never realized how much frozen food there is! Aisles and aisles of it! In Mexico it was pizza and ice cream and that was about it. Oh and for sure we are drinking our protein shakes. Haven't been juicing, but it's coming. Ok enough for now. Viva
So I want to talk about where we are, what I'm discovering here, and the amazing hike I've been taking every couple of days- and this morning realized it's a magic path. And how the path reminds me of Mexico- physically and spiritually. Ukiah is at the beginning of the redwoods, an hour from the coast (maybe a little bit more), and about 2 and a half hours north of San Francisco. I had to go to Oakland (across the bay from SF) when we first got here to homeland security to get some document signed off so we could get the truck imported back into the states. Ha ha what a hassle that's been. I had to go there 2 days in a row because when I got there the first time they asked for something that hadn't told me was required when I called the day before. I hate driving across the San Rafael-Richmond Bridge so yipee I got to go both ways across 2 days in a row. But the lady was very nice. And all she did was walk out to the truck- look at the vin number, sign and stamp the document. Less than 5 minutes. Then we had to get the truck smogged- no small feat when the damn check engine light never goes off. Then we checked google for the issue and read it's a huge scam- yeah great. But then someone sent us to a friend and "all of a sudden" it passed. This is a small town alright- we went to the DMV to ask what the next step was- and the woman looked at us and said- wow I don't know- can you go home and look it up online? You can make an appt right now to come back- ha ha so we went home and I made an appt in Santa Rosa. This guy knew exactly what to do and we're waiting for our new license plates. Luckily we both have Mexican and US driver licenses so we can keep driving with the Mexican plates. So basically it's been 5 months trying to take care of it....wow right?
Ukiah is very small- 15,000 people. The town we lived in here before we went to Mexico; Petaluma has about 60,000 so 4 times as big, and I always felt like it was a small town. Of course the first town we lived in down in Mexico, below Acapulco had less than 1,000. Then Puerto Penasco was 57,000, and Punta Banda again less than a thousand but 20 min south of Ensenada which although very spread out has a ton of people (like half a million). Add to that language and cultural differences, well Ukiah is pretty different for me- but I think different in a good way. I like that it's small. The main street reminds me of Petaluma, but the Petaluma of many years ago. In the last couple of weeks it hasn't been raining so much, but before that we were mostly inside so haven't seen too much of the town besides grocery stores and AA meetings ha ha. But online I saw that they have an art walk on the first Friday of the month; I've seen several art galleries and bought something in 2 of them. Actually tomorrow I get to pick up a print I bought in one place and am having it framed in another. I tried hard to find a frame in a thrift store. I went to 3 thrift stores looking for the right frame. Hmmm maybe I have seen a bit of this town eh? Anyway I even bought a frame that would fit (11x14) I think for a dollar, but when I got it home it just wasn't right. So I'm paying twice as much for a frame as I did for the picture- which is a print of a watercolor of an old wooden door. Yeah sounds weird, when I get it back I'll take a photo and post it here. Actually today I went by there on my way back from Home Depot buying more paint (another story) and it will be ready tomorrow, but I bought 2 more prints, that are on white mats- I don't plan to put them in frames, they are purple and green and will go on the wall behind our bed. I think with no frame it makes them softer, more bedroom like. Yes the wall behind the bed is painted a very deep purple. The 2 side walls are light purple and the 4th wall is green.
Hubby is painting the inside of the house for us (ok ok for me). Shades of purple, green, one dark red wall in the living room & the guest room will be light blue and maybe orange. Left is 3 bedrooms- one is the guest room, one is the exercise room and one is an "office"- has our old dining room table, the printer, bills, etc so the kitchen table is not the keeper of all that stuff ha ha. Purples blues, orange, we'll see how they turn out. Maybe sounds wacky but it always ends up amazing!
We are both working out. I started on Jan 8th weighing myself and starting to count my daily calories again. I hadn't done it since I left Mexico. Although I kept up exercising but was way out past Jupiter as far as eating was concerned. And man did I see I haven't changed at all. Once I started eating crap I just went all out. In fact nobody knows that I found in my daughter's freezer, way in the back underneath a bunch of stuff- frozen chocolate cookie dough. In fact not just the dough- it was already divided into little pieces that you simply break off and put on a pan and then bake or microwave. Microwave- yeah- but I couldn't even wait for that- plus the smell right? So almost every nite I broke off 2 of those little pieces and ate them frozen. Actually it just took a couple of minutes for them to soften up a little and then I would eat them. Kind of nibble around the edges as they got softer- ha ha making it sound almost normal- it was not. It was secretive, and still nobody knows about it. I'm SO happy I just wrote about it here. I snuck that frozen cookie dough whenever I was alone downstairs. Maybe Everardo was just in the shower- that's enough time! So there was 2 packages of those damn cookies and I ate every bit of it! My daughter is not a huge sweets eater and probly forgot it was in there. Plus there was SO much other food in the fridge, the cupboards...everywhere. I made Danica's lunch every nite for her to take to school and so I knew exactly what treats we had. Ok one other obsessive eating thing I did. I bought these things - maybe called Zingers. They were twinkies but with coconut on the outside of them. I don't really like coconut, so I thought that was a good idea because if it was just a box of twinkies- well I'd polish those off in no time! Turned out Danica didn't like them either ha ha. One day I tried to cut off the coconut and them eat it. Didn't work very well, it was coming apart and still tasted like coconut. I tried it again another day though. Talk about insane right?
Well I'm sad to say in 3 short months I put 18 lbs back on. But some of it has been easy to shed. Since Jan 8 I've lost 11 lbs, and I can fot in everything I was wearing when I got to Calif. Hmmm but I exercised...so that means that food really is it. For gaining and losing anyway. The exercise is really for my health. But the problem is that when I stress I eat. I mean it's a better solution than drinking- which is what I did for years....but it still means I'm not great at coping with stress. Which is kinda funny since I've always had stressful jobs and found myself in soooo many stressful situations over the years. Aha! Meditation. I have learned that there are lots of solutions to lots of stressors- I leanred that via 12 step program- yeah thank God I'm in recovery. But it's such a life long journey isn't it? Ha ha I made a funny- life is lifelong!
Well last Sunday nite we went to a free 2 hour Buddhist meditation group. I was so happy Everardo came with me. And he liked it; I think he's going to keep going with me to it. It just started, and many in the group have been meditating for years but a few are new. The meditation group I was part of in Mexico was more of a guided meditation & book discussion. Not sure what this one is. The leader was stuck in traffic and was not there, so another person (not sure of the word) lead meditation sittings, and talked a little bit but I think the leader will speak of the Buddha. One of the leaders came up and talked to me at the break and told me just to practice sitting with myself for now.
Right outside of town is the City of 10,000 Buddhas. I knew it was there and I was planning on checking it out, hopefully taking a class of some type of instruction. Then I got a msg from our realtor- she is a very nice young woman- probly mid 30's, and she knew I was interested in the place- she found out that the Sunday nite group was starting here in town and it's less than 10 min from our house. So cool- I'm excited about what I may get from it on a spiritual level...and as a solution to stess...aha!
So the magic path. The place I was talking about where I go hiking now; well I've been doing it 3 days week for about 3 weeks I guess. I walk by myself, although the day Halla came up to see us and the new place she wanted to hike so she and I and Sam & Daisy (her dog and ours) walked it. She really liked it. I'm hoping Halla and I are building a relationship. Yeah yeah if you've been reading my blog then you know I've said this before ha ha. And I always get hurt when she blows me off. Well I'm trying very hard to have no expectations. In fact the 3 months we were in Santa Rosa while we looked for this house, well I saw her for a total of about an hour by herself and maybe 2 hours in a group. Not on Thanksgiving and when on Christmas all I got was a text, I was done. So for New Years I sent her a msg (she doesn't answer her phone) and let her know I loved her more than life itself and hoped that maybe in 2016 we could build a relationship- but she would have to initiate it. That I love her but could not, would not chase her anymore. A month went by, and I asked the universe every day to be able to accept that my daughter didn't wish to have a relationship with me. To remember this was not new news. That I investigated myself- my intentions, my motives and believe I was doing all I could. But I can not make some love me or want to be around me. That it was about her, not me. And then she texted me. And wanted to come up. So we are texting, we had a beautiful day that day and I'm hopeful for more. Vamos a ver (we'll see).
As always I digress. The path. I didn't know what I would get from walking that path. I'm so grateful and look forward to it every time. Ha ha although tomorrow is zumba day now that I'm talking about it I want to walk. But I was also thinking that since Saturday is not a regular exercise day I could walk but at a slower pace, and notice more. It's a hike and I push myself to walk fast. I do see so much even at the faster pace; today I saw a salamander, a banana slug, & a deer. The trees are so beautiful, the moss, the leaves, the needles, the water- streams and tiny waterfalls; the larger stream, the sound of the water. Yesterday we took a road we hadn't yet out towards the coast. We went to Willits and then out from there (maybe highway 20). We drove thru redwoods, mountains and valleys, fog and drizzle and sun. It was an amazing beautiful drive. It reminded me of when we drove thru Nayarit. The same greenery, waterfalls along the way. Wispy fog, sun, all of it. But in the end the redwoods are what affect me the most, and those were absent in Nayarit. (But I do understand why the call it the Nayarit riviera! So beautiful). The place I hike is like that. It was the route we drove, only close up and personal. I know I have mentioned before that I like to pray out loud, talk out loud to the universe. And the vineyard near our house was good for that when I was walking Sam. Well this park is about 5 minutes in the other direction.
Half a mile. I actually drive it instead of walking because I want to get up in the hills, and since it takes me a little more than an hour of hard hiking- when I finish I'm pooped out and soaking wet- so happy to drive the 5 min back home ha ha. The first 20 minutes or so is uphill. In fact the path to get to where the hiking path starts is uphill. Ha ha I'm breathing hard by the time I hit the trail. It winds up the back of the hill, under trees and thru the brush and the ferns. When I can start to breathe I start to pray. I thank the universe for this day, for every day that's come before this one, and any day that may come after. Today I talked and like Tues I just began to be a part of the trail, I was breathing in the trees, my footsteps- I could feel each part of my legs, my muscles in my thighs. I felt like I was part of the forest. I'm starting to see that I am the best me I have ever been. I am happier than I've ever been. I am in better physical shape- I've never kept up an exercise program this long- coming up on 2 years. My spiritual self continues to enhance- I guess that's the word. I'm working on parts of myself. I'm a better person- I try hard to be nice to people, to be helpful, to be of service. I'm even seeing that the awful person I was while we were in Santa Rosa, well that is a lesson to me that when things are good I fly around the room in my serenity cape, but when things are not so good- I stress out. I eat, I am judgmental, I don't want to go on about that right this second because I'm so happy about what I'm getting from my hike! Awareness. Serenity. Forgiveness. Acceptance. These are the things I want in my life and when I'm walking in those woods I can articulate it, ask for it. Recognize things about myself. It's like my rock in Playa Ventura. When I felt so isolated and I started sitting out there by myself and talking to the universe and how my spirituality began to grow. I'm getting those feelings again. It's so awesome.
So I don't have any pics for this time. I need to download from my phone in order to put them here. I think I'm probly going to start using this dear diary blog for my weight loss and exercise journey as well as talking about life here. It is different from Mexico, and while I used to live just a couple of hours south of here, after being in Mexico I see things differently. Ha ha we try not to be as wasteful as we used to be. Even not flushing the toilet a hundred times a day...for me putting the paper in the basket is now normal from doing it in Mexico. It's just him and I, and if I know someone is coming over I flush and empty the baskets. We look for simple foods. I never realized how much frozen food there is! Aisles and aisles of it! In Mexico it was pizza and ice cream and that was about it. Oh and for sure we are drinking our protein shakes. Haven't been juicing, but it's coming. Ok enough for now. Viva
