Wow Friday already! This week went by fast, although I would not have said that on Wednesday when I slept on the couch all the with a headache from hell and a bad tummy. The headache woke me up during the nite and just stayed and stayed. I took Ibuprofen and did my elliptical workout anyway, but by the time we ate breakfast I thought I was gonna pass out. I laid down for awhile with the tv on in the background, then got up and took a couple of the migraine pills I bought here in Mexico. We went from store to store looking for Excedrin Migraine, the one that works for me, but everybody took it off the shelf for some kind of recall. Come to think of it I think that happened to me in Huston as well. Anyway I bought something recommended to us and never used it until Wednesday. I ended up sleeping on and off the entire day. I don't know if it was from being sick or from the pills. So Wed was a blur.

Yesterday was better. Didn't go in the ocean cause it was "angry" and spitting up alot of debris. Actually I think it was that way on Wednesday too. Monday Sam and I went in, but Tuesday we were cleaning and changing the kitchen, and Everardo spent the entire day painting it. So we never went to the beach. He really just took everything out of the kitchen and we cleaned it like it should have been cleaned when we moved in. But back them it was raining non stop for a week so we just wanted to get everything in and we kinda just cleaned around things. Then the kitchen was also leaking so we had water everywhere and it took awhile to see where the leak, ok leaks were.  Anyway it's painted and looks great! The shape is rectangular, so the long walls are green along with ones short wall that is usually covered by the door which is left open all day. The ceiling is blue, and the far wall is purple. I packed some things up to avoid the clutter and we gave a bunch of dishes and coffee cups and glasses to Chela, and she was happy about that. The stuff I packed was mostly fragile stuff, my dragonflies, and the masks that Drewy & Halla made when they were in grammer school, and my salt and pepper shakers collection. I walked down to Chelas and asked her to make us enchiladas for lunch, which really became an early dinner- she and I visited fro an hour before she made the food, then I walked it back home. It must have been qround 3pm cause the kids were walking home from school, so Monsie, Ronaldo, Miguel and Ilse walked with me, Ronaldo is so cute, he offered to carry my plates but I said no thanx...he's such a sweet little boy...

We've had a kid working here all week and the yard looks great! He started in front and slowly worked his way around the house and now he's actually outside the back gate cleaning the beach area; we are responsible for the beach behind our house. Yesterday I was feeling better and after reading in the hammock Sam and I walked down to Chela's in the afternoon. We walked on the road cause the ocean was rough and choppy. Chela and Gune say this is not normal, by this time of year, after the rains, the sea gets continually more tranquill. So there must be a storm out there somewhere, but the rains just might be done here for the season! Yipee. So we chatted for awhile and then Everardo showed up and Gume came and sat with us, too. Then we decided to have dinner there, Poppi had fish and mole and I stuck with the enchiladas cause I love them how Chela makes them.

Romario came back from Cabo yesterday but we haven't seen him yet. He's the 18 yr old son of Rosa & Gencho; and he left home a couple of weeks after turning 18 to work in Cabo. he thought as a cook in a hotel restaurant, but instead they started him wasshing floors for very long hours. This is what I heard anyway from his mom, anyway he got really homesick and wasn't having any fun, so he came home. I don't know, I think his parents might be glad he's back cause he was the cook in their restaurant, but they also wanted their boy to fins his own way. It's tough to be a parent. I'm sure Romario is conflicted too, does he feel like he failed? I don't know any of this, I'm just guessing, like I said I haven't even seen him yet. Maybe he'll want to try again and come stay with us in Puerto Penasco and try to get a job in one of the hotels.

Yes my mind is made up; we are in agreement about moving. Everardo planned to work when we got here, and there is no work here. I need people, I need AA, I need milk ha ha. We went to Marquelia this morning to get this powder that you mix with paint to cover the walls of the fence that face the ocean and picked up some wood for Gume, and I forgot to tell Poppi that we needed milk. Arrgghh! That's ok I guess it can wait. Maybe the kid who's family had the cow will stop by today and then we will have milk. They do sell the stuff that's on the shelf, that you don't refrigerate until after you open it, but I don't like to drink that;  I googled it but don't remember what it said about why it doesn't need to be in the fridge- but I do remember thinking...hmmm...I don't think I want to drink that.

We are fixing up the house as was the plan all along. Well really Everardo is doing all the work. He fixed the plumbing outside, but said there is still something else to be done. I made a list on a whiteboard of what has to get finished- painting the kitchen, the bathroom and shower room next to the kitchen, the upstairs bedroom (the size of the living room downstairs) and the upstairs bathroom. Actually that's a much smaller list because he's been working like a dog. We already crossed off some of the painting, and the kitchen, bathroom and shower look fabulous.

This place is so beautiful. I sat out on the rocks early this morning, around 7:30 am. Since the end of daylight savings time it's hotter if I got out there at 9am. The other thing is that it's not as hot at nite anymore, not cause of daylight savings time, but the weather is changing, so we aren't staying up until 2 am anymore. In fact sometimes we go to bed by 11, usually closer to midnite though. I sat out there this morning and the waves the ocean was making were...just so spectacular, so beautiful, the spray and the foam that hit the rocks in front of me. The pelicans that were flying so low, just barley above the water. I talk out loud to the universe there, I feel...so connected to the earth, to life, to everyone and everything. That always happens to me when I sit out there. One thing about being here so long, alone with my thoughts alot, well my spirituality is evolving, growing. I ask for guidance and I ask to listen, to be aware,  when the guidance presents itself to me. And...it's working. Sometimes just for a few minutes or even just a flash, but I feel so serene. Like everything is ok, and I am ok. That I am always ok. I say these words now: I am a part of the universe if I say I am. And I am responsible for my own happiness.

But I talk alot out there. I talk about what I'm feeling and try to see where things fit. I've had so many emotions since moving here, and alot of based in fear. Cause the frustration of not being fluent in Spanish is fear. The resentment I feel towards my husband sometimes because I am in control of nothing- is fear. My husband has been amazing- he knows I struggle. But the real truth is, it's not fair for me to need him for everything. That's another thing about moving somewhere a little bigger. With stores nearby, gas, money, etc. Here I have to go to the next town for anything and the truth is I'm not real comfortable driving to Marquelia. Copala is fine but really I only drive there for ice cream ha ha.
And this town is so small and talky talky about everyone and everything, I don't want to stumble thru a conversation trying to say how I feel and have it interpreted and repeated until it sounds nothing like me, and I won't know any of it anyway haha. So I really only have Chela for a close friend, and she knows for the most part how I feel, but I need more. It is a HUGE relief to admit that this is not the right place for me. I was so adamant about wanting to live here. And of course I had expectations; like how I would teach all these little kids English and I would become a bigger partof the community.The truth is I am part of the community. Everyone is nice to me, but after almost 6 months I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Nobody's fault. It's just not that easy to become fluent, and just chat on a daily basis.

The kids started school and lost interest in learning English- I mean who are they gonna talk to? And that's nobody's fault either. So it is what it is. Like I said, what a relief to admit it. I found that out on my rock talking to the universe. Today as I talked, I realized, and then talked about it, that this better spirituality, this closeness I am feeling, this guidance that I feel is coming to me, that has probly always been there, I should be able to recreate the feeling anywhere. Yeah maybe it needs to be in solitude, I probly can't find it on the bus or in a busy restaurant, but on a beach, near a redwood tree, maybe in my own backyard, or even in a church (hmmm maybe not ha ha). But I believe I can find it, now that it is beginning to take shape for me. And the fact is, Puerto Penasco has a beach.

We don't want to live on the beach again, way to much maintenance, way too grimy. I don't want to say dirty; it's just water and salt, but the truth is it's sticky and everything gets dirty. A few blocks away from the beach is good. In Petaluma we were a half hour away, so I think a few blocks is ok. And of course once I admitted that this just isn't quite working, all I do on the computer is look at towns around Puerto Penasco, (just in case I don't like it), and I joined a PP forum for expats who live there. So I've been able to ask some questions, like how are the mosquitos- since they are killing us here ha ha. My personal scent is Caladryl and Autan (one for itching and one for preventing) ha ha but neither works all the time. Good news, the answers were very encouraging about this. Also encouraging is the news that it's warm during the day and cooler at nite. That's desert weather.

Everardo is confident he can find work there, which is good cause we are bleeding money...between gas that we need to get to other towns for everything, and things to work on the house with....Anyway it looks like rent is cheap so if he can cover that we should be good. I want to get involved with AA there. I am missing it...alot! There's also some rehabs an an orphanage just opened- maybe I could volunteer somewhere. And maybe I could work in a coffee shop and get paid ha ha! From the forum I see alot of things going on, plus exploring the desert might be pretty cool too.

So I am going to spend as much time as I can out on my rock, looking for guidance, so I can find my spirituality wherever I go. When the right time presents itself, we will take off up north. We will put this house up for sale, but not in a hurry to sell it, we can wait for the right deal. And I don't mean the right price necessarily, but the right everything. Chela already has 2 ideas; one is the woman who sole it to us, but I don't think that's gonna happen, and the other is someone they know who wants to buy a place here- but he wants to buy their place, so who knows if he will have an interest in our house. We will also experience the "season" in December when alot of people come here; maybe someone will come out of the woodwork who is interested....

Well it's a beautiful day, we've already been to Marquelia, visited with Chela and Gume, Everardo used his chain saw outside so I think maybe the palm trees cut down a couple of years ago may be chopped up, and I could use a snack and a little hammock time.....

So there's more about the weekend, I just had to stop for my favorite breakfast, eggs over easy with potatoes and tortillas...mmm, mmm, mmm. While we were eating breakfast we spotted a pretty large fishing boat way out there. We used the telescope to look, it was big, I'm sure throwing out huge nets to...hey to catch out fish! Go away boat! We always eat outside; we have a long cement with tile top picnic table and benches. I think I wrote about it before; I think 8 adults could fit on a side at least. Anyway it's right outside the kitchen door, and just a few feet from the door to the rest of the house.

We keep the telescope on top of the fridge, which is right inside the kitchen door, you can reach from outside if you wanted to. I use it when there's a dolphin sighting. Sadly (for my ego of course) I haven't been the first one to spot the dolphins yet...This telescope was my dad's, and every time I use it I think of him. Not sure how I ended up with it, but I'm glad I have it. I do want to invest in a good pair of binoculars though, as well as a camera that has a better lens for far away shots. Actually we probly just need a new camera period, after Morelia when we went thru about 8 batteries (2 at a time), I think that's a clue. I've only replaced them once since we've been back cause I don't use the flash much, but use the flash once, and the camera starts shutting down. I will always keep the telescope close by though...

Anyway, on the way back from Marquelia yesterday, after seeing the tarantula, we passed a big tree, like an oak tree with the huge thick limbs, but not too many leaves, not much foliage. So I could clearly see about 20 or maybe 30 vultures! So creepy. A vulture convention. On Saturday when I had Sam down at the arroyo, 2 vultures showed up and perched near by. I called them bad names (like rotten bastards..) and told them to get lost. They left but only a little ways and when we were coming up our steps from the beach thye were a little ways off. I tried to throw a piece of cement at them- ha ha I succeeded only in throwing it straight up- but they left. I tried to put them out of my mind, cause the truth wa,s a tiny piece of me, in a tiny place in my mind was scared that Sam was really really sick and that the vultures could smell death.....So I hated those vultures. But by yesterday, Sunday, I knew Sam was much much better and I knew he was gonna be ok. But seeing the vultures unnerved me anyway, they were on the road that brings us down to Playa Ventura, the 7 mile road.  A few miles later I said to Everardo, maybe there's a cow dying somewhere nearby. (there's alot of cows grazing around there, as well as horses, goats and pigs and sometimes you see a dog along the side of the road that's been hit) Anyway he looked at me and said- you're still thinking about those birds?? I thought it was so many it must be for something big. And if it had been a few days earlier, on Halloween- ha ha I probly woulda freaked out!

So besides that, we had a beautiful day. I read in the hammock while Poppi napped, then I took Sam to the beach while he made us a feast (and I mean FEAST!!) of lobster. Neither of us even wanted the rice he made to go with it or anything else. Just huge bites of lobster. I melted butter and put a little salt in for mine, he just ate his plain. I think that was the best meal I've ever had in my entire life!!

Later we went over and chatted with Rosa and Gencho; they had a lot of customers and their pool was filled with screaming kids on one side and lounging adults on the over. The pool was a great idea. When we drove by Chela's earlier their pool was filled with kids, too.

Came home, lounged around ourselves on the couch and watched a silly movie and went to bed relatively early for us, 10:30 I think. The nites are actually a little bit cooler now. I like it cause then I get up a little earlier.

So fall/winter is here. But it acts like spring! Such pretty flowers all along the road, all the roads, blue purple yellow orange. The air is the tinest bit cooler, and the oceanhas moved way out. High tide is like low tide has been since we moved here, and low tide is way out there. At low tide there's no pools in front of the rocks at all. The water is really shallow in front of Chelas. It all just started last week, like the ocean knew November was here. Calm seas, lobster, oysters, cooler nites, yippee it's a beautiful life!

Ah! Monday morning after a long weekend. Sam is gonna be ok. Everardo slept on the couch with him Friday nite and Saturday nite. He actually seemed a little better Friday afternoon, but then coughed during the nite. On Saturday morning I was so worried about him. He didn't eat much all weekend, but it turns out he may just not like his new food...cause he's happy to accept scraps from dinner ha ha. He was so tired, and he seemed, well, sad. My baby boy. We walked on the beach Saturday afternoon and he actually went in a little bit, wading in front of the rocks. After his 2 shots on Saturday morning at first he was just sleepy, but then he pepped up. Like I said he wanted to go to the beach. He didn't really play in the arroyo, his favorite place, kinda just stood there. But he didn't cough. He only coughed a few times that day, when he barked at a passerby, and on Friday when the donkeys came down the driveway, he barked his head off and chased them away. But after that he barked alot. (maybe it was Thurs, the last few days sorta run together in my head). Saturday nite he only coughed a couple of times. Yesterday, Sunday he wheezed a couple of times when he went for a walk with Everardo. Later in the afternoon I took him to the beach; he was way more peppy! He ran to the water, he took a little swim in front of the rocks, he chased a stick. He's gonna be ok. I don't think he coughed at all. Last nite Poppi slept in bed, Sam right outside the room where it's cooler- ha ha our room is the hottest room in the house, kinda sucks.

So it's a huge relief. He still has 2 shots today and 1 tomorrow. But he's his old doggy self!!

We did do some other stuff this weekend; I was just so worried about Sam I didn't want to write about it. Everardo went out with Gume and Romeo and another guy to get lobsters, and he found out it was harder than he thought. He has to dive too deep, it bothered his ears. Romeo told him, oh you just have to keep practicing, going down a little further each time. I'm not too crazy about that- I don't want him to get permanent ear damage.Anyway on Saturday he was out in the water for 4 hours straight, and came home exhausted! He had a couple of huge lobsters with him, but he said he didn't catch them, that Romeo did. We still had to go to Marquelia to drop off the laundry, get some groceries, and see the Comassario for the paperwork we're trying to straighten out, but driving to Marquelia was a mistake. Poor Poppi was sooooo tired. We decided to let everything go, including having lobster for dinner. I made egg salad sandwiches and he was asleep on his feet. Oh but we had stopped by Gume's and so I got to take some pictures of all the lobsters to put on my facebook page.

Yesterday he was feeling much better. We needed to make a contribution to the town for the upcoming fair, so we went (again) to Marquelia. On the way I saw a tarantula crossing the road- that's how big it was!
 I thought- why did the tarantula cross the road? Cause he thought he could take the pig!! ha ha to me that's fuuny cause I saw a beautiful black pig crossing the road the other day and I swear it waited for the traffic to clear. When I was here a couple of years ago, I saw a tarantula fighting a chicken. I was sitting in the back seat of a taxi, waiting for something (I forget what), and I looked down and saw them fighting. It was freaky weird! In the end the chicken won! I always thought it would make a good monster movie...anyway the chicken won, so the tarantula knows he can't beat the chickens beak...but a pig???
ooops breakfast!