Finishing my story of the trip...and more...

Let me finish up talking about the trip. I'm still not done thinking about the emotions that came up for me, surprisingly not about what I thought....but then that's what happens right? When I stay open to possibilities I am often pleasantly surprised by what I end up thinking about, or what I'm invited by the universe to consider,  know what I mean? I knew I missing something, and I thought it was closure....but it wasn't. I was fine with my friends. When I went into my house, I remembered why I loved it, but no longer had any desire to live there. The same thing kind of happened when I went to Calif last June. I mean, I still want to go back to northen Calif at some point, but it does not need to be Petaluma. I was a visitor. Besides my daughters, I was a visitor. And unless something (I don't know what) changes in a big way (oh- maybe winning the lottery-which-knowing me is not that out there ha ha), but barring something like that, I am never going to be able to afford to live in my house again....well unless I get a full time job- or a good paying part time ha ha. I love that little house, but I'm pretty much ok with not living there. Further north...I would not too far from my daughters- not more than a day away, right? But that covers alot of territory...and to live in the Redwoods, by a river, or at least a creek, or close to the ocean- yes there has to be water....but after living in Mexico, I just know there's so many things I can do without. Of course in northern Cal we will for sure need hot water!! (which we do have now here in Baja)

As always I got way off topic! Hmmm well I guess it's because I'm thinking about letting go of resentments. That the only two I really have are both about other people- not me. One is the guy who shot my daughter. He's in prison, my daughter is fine, justice has been served. And yet.....I cannot forgive him. I know forgiveness is not about him- it's about me. It's about letting negative thoughts out of my head. Forgiveness does not mean that I think what he did is ok- on any level. It's just me letting go. Whether or not I forgive him does not change him in any way- does not affect him in any way. The ONLY person affected is me. And maybe anyone I interact with because I would have further reduced negativity in my life. Pretty convincing eh? Yep in my head...not in my gut/heart yet. While in Playa Ventura one of the books I brought back is by the Dali Lama and it's called "The Wisdom of Forgiveness"....I never finished reading it...just wasn't ready...but maybe I'm getting ready. Ok- the other person, well it's so much less than what I just wrote about- that the resentment is really really gone! ha ha!! It was my friend I was referring to in my previous post. The woman who had been my close friend and actually introduced me to Playa Ventura in the first place. She opened her home to me by inviting me to go stay in it down there, which I did, then bought my house. (I actually bought it with my ex husband, but even after splitting up we thought we'd keep it for a vacation house and use it at different times, but later he decided that wasn't such a good idea and I bought him out). The woman, and I had a falling out, but we got over it....except except except....she said some pretty horrible stuff about my husband- my current husband- accused him of some things and she was way of base- really wrong. Although she apologized to me, she did not apologize for her comments regarding him. This was a huge problem for me. But you know what? I'm over it. She and my husband will never be friends. They may not even ever see each other again. But they are both adults. My husband can take care of himself. I am over that one. Ahhh good.

So....we had an amazing wonderful time in Playa Ventura. We left too soon I thought - we were supposed to stay one more day. Poppi bought some just caught lobster and we were gonna eat it with Gume and Chela; we put it in their fridge. We were waiting to talk to/meet with the guy who was going to do the formal measurements of our property and associated paperwork, and turned out he had done it for other people there, including our friends, and the guy taking care of our house (that's where we got his name), but knowing everyone was using him made me feel a little better. He had actually been there a few days before, and we had been supposed to meet with him, but we were broke down in Patzcuro and missed him. Everardo tried to call him on Thurs and Friday, but got no answer. We decided to wait until Monday; we were prepared to stay all the next week, in fact there was going to be a fair the next weekend. And then on Saturday we got a message that the guy was trying to get ahold of us. So we drove out the spit, the other side of town where sometimes you could get cell service, and called him. We had talked on the way out there and decided maybe Poppi would drive the 4 or 5 hours to Chilpancingo where the guy was, but he surprised us by saying he was coming the next day- Sunday!! He was going leave at 5am and meet us at 9am. There was also another client waiting to see him, so he was gonna make some money....so maybe not that much of a surprise- for Mexico. So he came. Our business, at least what we needed to be present for, needed to sign, ect was concluded. Poppi was worried about the truck and wanted to go back to the guy outside Morelia and have him do something on it- but for free, since he didn't fix the other thing we paid him for. So we left Playa Ventura at the crack of dawn on Monday. It was raining and I think rained all day there, so I guess it wouldn't have been great- NO I'm lying!! Of course it would have been great- we would have eaten lobster!!! On Sunday afternoon we visited Jay and his family- the guy who care takes the house, then we walked over to Gencho and Rosa's to sit with them for a while and say good bye. I do love Rosa- she is like a sister to me - we always talked even though she doesn't speak English and when we were there my Spanish sucked. I remember when she told me all about how her husband pursued her...some of it was pretty funny with him waiting outside her house in the pouring rain....I love him too. After that we went to Chela and Gume, finally all their customers left- although that's when we met the real estate guy- from Chilpancingo like the other guy.....Did I say the electricity was off all day Sunday? So besides no cell service- well that's always, now the land lines didn't work plus the lights...etc. Sorta sucks for a restaurant...fridge, blender....but very normal to being going out for the day down there ha ha. It came back on in late afternoon. Since it rained all day Monday who knows if they had electricity. I was disappointed anyway because finally Chela would have some free time, but as Everardo said- she'd feel obligated to be there for us when probly she needed to sleep ha ha. They stayed up all nite Sat nite at the wedding we all went to...Rosa & Gencho stayed up all nite as well, then both families had customers who had either camped or stayed in their bungalows and wanted to be fed and other services all day Sunday. So, I let myself be convinced it was time to go.

We drove all the way to Urapan....we went home a different way...still on free roads, so instead of going to Patzcuro we went more north and west and went to Urapan. Oh the mechanic in Morelia you ask?? Yeah I asked, too. Well the truck seemed to be running so well, he decided not to go back to Morelia, but to just head home....the next morning we drove to Puerto Vallarta where a friend of ours, from Russia, was staying for a week with her sister who was visiting her from Russia. This is the route we took when we had the amazing mountain breakfast I wrote about. That was the highlight of that day....since after that is when we chose the crazy million curves road. In the end we didn't get to Puerto Vallarta until dark- of course...but we contacted our friend and seeing her the next day was really important- she was going thru a crisis and I had told her if by any chance we were any where near there when they were that we would see her, but I could not promise. She had confided in me some terrible problems she was having with her husband, a man both Everardo and I knew and the fact we were actually able to see her really meant alot to her and made me feel better about leaving Playa Ventura so soon.

They were staying in a resort/spa type place- and oh yeah I gotta remember to go onto Yelp and give it a horrible review. The weird thing about a place like that is you could be anywhere in the world and never venture outside of it. They had stores, pools, beach, restaurants, gyms, waterslides, boating, surfing, everything. It was immense! And they were not the only one; once we went thru the first gates, there were a bunch of high end hotels out there. It had been a big gov't built housing community, and they all got "moved" somewhere else. I mean you would never see Mexico much less experience it...I don't know- is that what Club med is like? Or used to be like, I never hear anything about it anymore. Oh and it was a timeshare...couple of guys wanted to show us...in fact on the malecon (boardwalk) in Puerto Vallarta a guy wanted to give us free everything and Poppi started talking to him, and I was laughing because the guy would say how we just had to listen to this "small presentation" ha ha ha been there done that before! Ok so we get there finally, and have to get green wrist bands and give over Everardo's dr lic after we park in the special lot. Then we walk to the reception building and she wants us to fill out another paper, and we were just visiting a hotel guest. I put a fake phone number and email- yeah they were "required"! Really?? Then she gives us an orange wrist band and I burst out laughing- another wrist band?? She tells us how now we can use all the facilities all day. Uh ok. She calls our friend who comes down, then we didn't realize what she was doing and she goes to another desk- the members desk not the reception desk, and she's "registering" us....and PAYS $25 EACH for us!! I tried to stop her! I told the guy we were already registered and showed him my orange band- which he got all hot under the collar about and asked how we got them! Telephone calls happened- I saw our little paperwork ha ha. Our friend insisted she didn't care about the money....ok so we have a nice time...they made us some nice appetizers.....Russian style, then we went out for a walk to see the grounds. We didn't use any of the facilities ha ha. When we walked out the front to take some pictures, the parking guy told us not to take off our wrist bands ha ha. So Everardo starts talking to him and he turns out to be the head of security and is really pissed off when he finds out our friend paid the $50!! He says he's investigating the staff for stealing money (embezzling basically) and stomps off to get her money back. We take some nice photos...in front of a waterfall- stuff like that, and go back to their room for a yummy meal of mahi mahi. We leave to go back to our hotel about 5pm, and stop by reception to give back our orange bands, and they ask us for our key cards...what? What key cards? (We don't got no stinkin key cards!!) The woman insists we do- I ask her- what would we keep them for? Why would we want them? Those cards get reprogrammed all the time- and these didn't even open any doors- apparently they were to give the towell lady if we went swimming....which we did not. I reminded her about laughing about the different colored wrist bands...and she said yes, and then I gave you the cards. Her boss was there and she says- see? She has no more cards! I said- what does that have to do with us?? Then she and Everardo started speaking in Spanish and I could tell my husband who rarely gets mad, was getting mad. So finally we hug our friend and walk outside. The boss woman runs outside to show us the little paper book they put key cards in and asks if we reconize it! ha ha we laugh in her face. Then she gets mad and Poppi gets good and mad. She says our friend will be charged for the cards- $5 each! He tell her he will call the Mexico equivalent of the Better Business Bureau...he says they are a big business bullying people and stealing their money...she got very upset. We walked away. We found out the other day they did try to charge our friend that damn $5 each for those fucking cards! She argued with them and then they finally did not...but still!! I will go online and give them a shitty review. We saw people wearing all different color wrist bands and being asked questions at every turn...how awful!
But we had a really good time with her and she was quite touched that we came to her. She is our friend- she doesn't have alot of friends in the US and was pretty intimidated, but she is also a string woman, and such a good person! I love her very much. We were so happy she had her sister with her for moral support; I think she's still with her in California for now. I told my older daughter about her and she will also make herself available for moral support, for friendship, to help her in anyway- if she needs any social services, things like that. So I'm so glad we made the trip.

So we stayed 2 days in Puerto Vallarta and left for Mazatlan and stayed one nite. We got there mid day and so went down to the beach and ate seafood in a little place right on the sand. They have these golf cart type taxis and we took one to sight see a little and then...we went to the movies! We saw The Judge and it was a great movie- Robert Duvall & Robert Downey Jr....we came out and caught another golf cart taxi and went to the malecon where people were hanging out and vendors were still selling their wares. Oh I forgot- in Puerto Vallarta I bought a great hat- kind of a cowboy hat...for the sun and it was the only kind with the strap for under your chin- which I need here..and as it turns out I really like it- as always- if I ever figure out the photos you will see it here ha ha. I also got a wide purple stripe dyed into my hair! They said it will last a month, so we'll see, I really like it- always wanted to do it. In Michocan we both bought leather sandals and I got a small leather (purple of course) wallet and a beautiful scarf. Ok so we walked in Matazlan and then went back to the hotel, which was right across the street from the beach. And if it wasn't for the guys who got drunk around the pool right next to our side of the building...and they drank it seemed like all nite!, if it wasn't for them it would have been perfect...oh and it was cheap! The next morning I could hardly wake up and went right back to sleep in the truck.

But we drove and came into Nayarit and no wonder they call it the Nayarit Riviera! It is so beautiful. The roads wind thru the most beautiful trees and plants and water and hills, so many shades of green, it was just breathtaking. At some point we finally overlapped on our trip- because we got on a road to Hermosillo. Got there after dark...of course....but we had driven taking our time; it was so pretty and we stayed off the toll roads. Now it was Friday nite...a long time since we left Playa Ventura. We got up early after having dinner in the hotel and hitting the sack early... and drove all the way home....got here about 6pm. Hermosillo is in the Sonoran desert so it was the drive I hate- across Sonora and then into Baja where first it's desert and then it's the Rumarosa winding roads over the mountain. I hate all of it. We saw sooooo many checkpoints, mostly for trucks; there were a couple of places where semi trucks, with 2 trailers each, were lines up for at least 5 miles, maybe more.

So it was quite an adventure. So many things happened! Mostly good....traveling the free roads was very cool, we saw soooo much more of Mexico! Mexico is so diverse, in Sinaloa you call your buddy "Compa" for companero... the word for dragonfly is chambuleke in Playa Ventura, Guerrero, but libeilula in Yucatan. Different ways of cooking different meats, different coffee, clothes...etc. We've been all over the place in Mexico and this time was at least as fun, rewarding, exciting, interesting, as last time and the time before that. Did I say....VIVA! 

Playa Ventura, the house...the food....

Ok gonna go back to go forward....I found some notes, phrases really that I wrote the first day or two driving thru the Sonoran desert. The first is simply "chicken highway". This is what we call the highway that is one lane in each direction with a half lane on the outside of each lane. There is a dotted line down the center and the traffic can pass going in either direction...and of course at a very high rate of speed, usually posted at 110 kilometers (I think 65mph). If you are the person being passed you are supposed to move into the half lane on your right. Because it is for passing, cars pass on corners, hills, no matter how many cars are in a line.....yeah so we call it "chicken highway". You play chicken...and sometimes whether you want to or not. They had the chicken highway in a few other places, but the Sonora desert is where I really remember it. The other thing about Sonora was the checkpoints. Man- they got a lotta checkpoints. I guess because it's a border state...there were lots of truck check points as well- which I noticed on the way home. They were being stopped going north, and also coming west from Baja (I think). I don't know how anything gets anywhere on schedule/time on a truck. We were waved thru all of them except one...and that was on the way back- we took the tarp off the stuff in the back of the truck...and altho our suitcases and bags were inside, the guy merely asked me how I liked Mexico and- oh wait, he might have picked up the closest thing which was Everardo's blue backpack that had some dirty teeshirts in it ha ha.

Oh yeah- the first time we were stopped, and it was the first day in Sonora, we were asked for the truck's registration, which we couldn't find! The guy said don't worry, but you should find it because the next guy might be more strict. (all in Spanish of course). We did find it later...I went thru every piece of paper in the truck while we were driving....but nobody ever asked us for it again. Still better to have it.

So, day 2 drove thru Guaymus and Obregon (Sonora). Ha ha Guaymus (sounds like Why-muss), and we were yelling "Why-muss Why-muss" and laughing. Anyway it smelled like fish! Obregon we saw these huge gray birds; they might have been some kind of heron but with almost bushy wings. Day 3 as we crossed into Sinaloa we got a speeding ticket......damn. But- we actually were speeding...so paid it the day we got back. Anyway we watched on the way home and saw cops with radar guns - but only in Sinaloa...weird eh? In Sinaloa we passed fields of vegetables being grown and saw the mountains in the distance.....These mountains are called "Esptinozo de Diablo", "Spine of the Devil" and are supposedly a drug trafficking route. 

Day 3 we hit Nayarit, beautiful, lush....the free roads were again winding thru little towns and villages...Later when we passed into Michoacan...maybe 2 minutes after...we saw 6 truck fulls of ninja cops speed by us.....(I call the cops dressed in all black with their faces covered ninjas). After all the small towns we had been going thru I couldn't imagine where they must be going. We followed behind them and saw them exit to a town still to small to be called a city- hmmm maybe there was a special at the doughnut store??? (or oh wait is that only in the US? ha ha)

Ok, I already wrote about our wonderful time in Morelia, even the auto shop fun....so now onto Guerrero and Playa Ventura. We hit our first toll booth with students manning it instead of the regular workers. They were polite and actually asked us for less toll than was posted ha ha. Although I believe they were keeping the money to support their causes, probly to buy food and water since many of them were far from home. Later on we came across more protesters blocking the roads into/out of small towns, and they were always peaceful, holding signs and banners, and collecting coins from those of us passing thru. They always said thank you and bless you, etc. I personally am always happy to see a peaceful protest- I believe in people standing up for their rights, trying to help people to become aware. I have stood on street corners holding up signs, against war, in support of family, etc. I know there has been some violence in the protests. I do not agree with that. I even wonder if maybe the violence is a little convenient....shows the students as bad....Anyway we did not see anything violent or bad.

Playa Ventura was hot and humid and beautiful and wonderful. And I left knowing it's an amazing place for a vacation....but I have no wish to live there again. Part of me went there looking for something, closure, or that I missed something...or...well I don't know what. Our physical reason for the trip was to check on the house we own down there, and to get some documents taken care of with regards to it. Oh and to get my books (yippeee) and at least one piece of furniture...a sort of secretary desk antique thing. We got those things, plus this blanket I really wanted- I may have written about it before....used to keep warm in the Mexico City airport when having to stay overnite there waiting for a connecting flight. It was just a couple of cardboard boxes of books...but they're mine, some I've had a long time...some I haven't read, at least one was a gift from my brother....I just love my books. I have some back in Calif in the garage with the few things I didn't give away ha ha. But having them here now, all around me in bookshelves that Everardo built when we got here (same as he did when we got to Playa Ventura, but we left those down there), just makes the house more comfy and warm.

I met the rest of the guy's family who care-takes the house for us. Our renters were not there- they actually went to France for 3 months but paid the rent up front for the time they are going to be gone so we're happy with that. The property is now home to 2 big dogs; a german shepard and a pitbull so we really only got to go in, see what we wanted and leave. Then we came back a few days later to load it up. I wish we coulda stayed there, maybe upstairs, but the people did not want us there, especially when they were not, and I couldn't argue with that, so we didn't. The one weird thing was- and I find this really really really weird- is that they boarded up the gate in the back fence that is access to the beach! What??? Yeah so I was told they never ever go to the beach! Yeah- I don't understand this at all. What's the point of renting there, eh? Ok there's the view...but you can get so much closer...I mean my rock is right outside that gate. So Jay's family is really nice, he lives with his wife, very young daughter, and his parents, and ...of course....like everyone there almost, they have a restaurant. The nite before we left they had us for dinner and OMG!! The best shrimp I think I ever had! It was made in a sweet & sour way...in fact I was a new recipe being tried out! There were also these small bananas cooked almost the same way and they were also soooo delicious!

Another nite we went to El Faro, our friends Gencho & Rosa for dinner and had this amazing fish called Frell. It's a warm water fish; Gencho caught it in the morning and we ate it that nite. It was the best fish I ever had! It has darker meat, not white...it doesn't taste fishy- it tastes like meat. It was awesome. Then of course another day was my all time favorite- Chela's enchiladas...to die for. I mean we ate so good for those few short days there. We stayed in a bungalow at Chela's; I remember when her husband, Gume, was building them when we lived there. They are just a small round room, with a small bathroom connected...the bathroom is a tile floor; a sink that's a beautiful bowl- like one you would put fruit in on your table, and the faucet was a huge conch shell that the water came thru. The shower was right over head, so ha ha the toilet got washed when you took a shower. The small room could just hold a standard double bed, and had mosquito netting coming down over it, and 2 small shelves to put your stuff on, one on each side of the bed. You could just walk around 3 sides of it- and to pass each other took work. The floor was plank wood, the same as the walls, and then on the outside had woven palm fronds on the sides and also as a thatched roof. It did rain 2 of the nites though, and the rain only came thru the bathroom roof...so the bedroom roof was something besides just palm fronds.....

One small surprise was a stray dog (we assume it was a stray- they have a lot of homeless dogs like all over Mexico), had just had puppies- right underneath us! We heard the tiny cries, and then found from the bathroom, which was a halfstep down, we could see the tiny pups, eyes still closed. We didn't tell anyone while we were there because they would have been moved, probly to somewhere not so safe, and maybe something much worse like....disposed of...well we actually started to tell, but heard, oh no we'll get rid of them...and then didn't say anything else....they had alot of customers camping and staying at their place so we knew they'd forget....I mean I know at some point they wuill be dealt with, but at least their eyes will be open, or maybe mama dog will move them herself. Some neighborhood kids saw her going under there and were throwing rocks at her...I actually sat outside our bungalow the day before we left with my book for a few hours, reading, but protecting her and her babies. I know it's hard in Mexico. I know people struggle to feed their families, that animals in many areas are not really seen as pets, or at least not in the sense that Americans do. (yes I know there is animal cruelty in the US, too). But not only do they not count, they don't get 'fixed", spayed or neutered and so they continue to have puppies....and yes- I don't know what happened to these puppies or their mama after we left, and it's not for me to judge or have any opinion about the state of affairs, but they were ok while we were there. Actually we fed her; she didn't seem particularly skinny and maybe she was someone's dog....but we saw her a couple of times, come out from under the bungalow and then looking for food, it seemed, on the beach. Friday nite we went to a rodeo - we saw dancing horses, but left before the bull riding (the cowboys looked like they were getting drunk, it was late, you know...) anyway- I went for a plate of food and it was big bones with alot of meat on them so I took one, wrapped in a napkin and brought it home to mama dog.

We swam in the ocean just one day...for hours though; it was glorious! But tiring; the waves bang you into shore, and always towards one side of the beach or the other, so sooner or later you would be knocked into the rocks, so you must always pull yourself back towards the middle. It is not a bay like here, it's the ocean. As one wave pulls back out from shore- with a tug/undertow that will gladly take you with it, many times the next wave is already coming and they slam into each other. It's exciting and exhilarating to be right there in the clash and how the surf flies up. I get knocked all over, sometimes "ass over tea kettle" as they say ha ha. The truth is, when we first went to the shore, I was afraid...my fear had returned, the fear I developed after being almost dragged out to sea, banged up against the rocks and luckily just cut up my knees and foot, broke my toe,....but then realized the absolute power of the ocean in a way I had never thought about it before. That was the year before we moved down there, and it happened in front of Gencho and Rosa's place, on their beach. I have a huge respect for the ocean now, since then- and after being gone for 2 years, after 2 years of only swimming in bay waters, including the year in Sonora where we were on the Sea of Cortez- again not open ocean....well the fear grabbed me- hard. But it also wore off pretty quickly; Everardo and his "don't be afraid" that he tells me in bad traffic, scary ocean...ok even in our bay when I get way out there.....Still I could not get comfortable in front of the rocks where we used to sit in pools of water and then the waves would seep thru the rocks onto us...I felt the tug and just couldn't do it. If we had stayed longer I'm sure I would have become ok with it, but we were just there a few short days. So we swam in front of Chela's; where the sandy beach is wide and the rocks off to each side. It is always tiring though, fighting the constant pull outwards and to the sides.

Afterwards we went in Chela's pool. We had also gone in the pool the first nite, after dark. The people camping there had kids and they were in the pool. One spoke a little English and so I was approached and then asked tons of questions in English & Spanish. I am always happy to interact with kids- especially around 8-12 years old. They are so open, and not afraid to ask anything ha ha!
We saw them again the afternoon of the ocean swim, in fact we saw them at the beach, but they didn't stay in too long, I think their parent's were rightly happier to have them in the pool.

The first day I was able to visit my rock for a short while, then Poppi found me and we went to Chela's. Then he left me to go with Gume for a few minutes to help with something and was gone for hours. Chela was very busy with her campers and I remembered the way I had felt isolated living there....it was like- oh yeah....why did I want to come back?? I didn't want to ask Chela to make my any food; she was so busy....so I went to the truck (we hadn't gotten a bungalow yet) and made myself a peanut butter sandwich...then decided to feel sorry for myself. Later Chela showed up but I would not let her make me any food- after all I had my pb sand.,....Then Everardo showed up and Chela made hin some fish and I napped (ok laid there still feeling sorry for myself ha ha). Poppi came back and invited me for a swim.....knew I was put out. The swim was the perfect answer. As soon as I hit the water I felt refreshed. I realized I was being silly- selfish really...and surrendered- I came over to the winning side! I looked around and remembered how grateful I was for my life, for all the fantastic and wonderful opportunities had. I hugged my husband and played ...gleefully..with the kids.

The last morning, just a couple of days later I went back to my rock. I sat out there for more than 2 hours. At first I couldn't get that...that feeling, that spiritual feeling, the serenity I found there, it was the place I really learned to ask for guidance. So instead, I watched these tiny crabs scurrying over the rocks. Then bigger ones ventured forth and they were clearly in charge; the smaller ones got out of the way. The big ones challenged other big ones. (Oh and I by "big" I still mean maybe the size of the palm of my hand). I saw that they could jump from the side of a rock to the side or top of another. Waves would hit, wash over them, but wouldn't wash them away...they have some kind of sticky stuff on the bottom of their many little feeties. I started then to watch the waves...some further out, hitting some rocks out there, some coming in to me. I moved much closer to the edge;....the first day I sat back aways....I started talking to the universe. To the fresh air, to the wind, to the water, to the rocks...to the sun. To my higher power- which is the universe and all of it's elements. I talked about how I used to feel there, how I asked for guidance, how I felt when I moved away. Unsure, exhausted, isolated...but also elated, full of faith....looking forward. Can you be unsure and faithful at the same time...yeah apparently so....but in different ways...sure about one thing, unsure about another....knowing what's wrong but having to have faith about what's right.

I kept on talking, and I don't know when it changed, but it did. I felt warmed by the sun, tickled by the breeze, overjoyed at the sight of the waves, my spirituality was back. But what I also knew in one moment was, that it never left me. That I was receiving the same gifts in my new surroundings, that the way I feel when I exercise on the beach, or sit with my coffee and look out at the bay....once I discovered the gifts of spirituality, I got to keep them, I just needed to remember. So I was not looking for closure, there was no closure. I love Playa Ventura. I love the beach, the waves, the air, the people, my friends....and the one friend who lives in the states, the woman who turned me on to Playa Ventura in the first place, my resentments around her, are gone. For her, now I have only compassion. I am sorry she is afraid to live in that beautiful place, that she is afraid of Mexico. I am sorry about how she acts to make herself feel better. No, she was my friend, and in my heart she is again. I will never trust her again, but I should not be trusting everyone so much- not when there is such a difference between cultures. There is unconditional love, but there is also behaving in a reasonable way for your circumstance, your culture, your set of beliefs. Not sure I am articulating this correctly, I barely understand it myself. And I'm also not sure that my resentment will not return. But at least as far as her family members are concerned, the ones I was and am friends with..it's all good with them. I hope to see them all again- maybe next year for Rosa & Gencho's 25 anniversary.

We ended up meeting a guy there from a larger nearby city who is a real estate guy. I emailed him some pictures of our house there and Everardo talked to him about price, etc. Maybe it will (finally) sell...sometime. We will see, Hmmm it seems there will be at least one more post about my trip because I am done for now...want to think about this whole trust/culture thing.....did I say the trip was awesome...it was. I'm so happy we went. Ok more later. Viva