What about Ensenada?

It's soooo hot and humid. Our house always has sand in it. It's like living in a beach cabin all the time. The Playa Ventura house, which was even closer to the beach than here- basically it was our backyard, didn't have as much sand in it. That would be I suppose, because here we are living in a desert, so the land is sandy and the dirt is this fine dirt that seems sometimes just to be in the air. We live on a dirt road of course, and the small yard we have is also dirt. I think maybe sitting at the park today made me miss greenery, made me miss grass in my own yard.

I took the doggys to the park this morning after my AA meeting which I hadn't gone to all week. When I got there, there were 2 men sleeping on the lawn right where I usually walk into the park. No big deal, I just walked past them to a shady spot under a tree. However today, a police truck happened by, and decided to roust the sleeping men, and maybe one of them commented on me being on the lawn, because one of the policemen came up to me. He told me he didn't speak much English and I said that's ok, my Spanish is pretty bad, too. He pointed to the sign that said don't walk on the grass and told me I couldn't sit there. I hadn't yet sat down, but I pointed to Sam & Lucky and said, oh pobre perros. Then he surprised me by sayingthat the dogs could be on the lawn, just not me! Ha ha I laughed. Then I told him in Spanish that I didn't want to sit on the cement wall because it was always full of ants...he laughed and said sorry. We went back to the first shady spot where the men had been, and there was a short cement wall like a planter box, and I didn't see any ants.

Sam chased the ball alot today, and Lucky explored. I read a little and we stayed about an hour. I love grass, I LOVE GRASS. In this little park it's that really thick grass, the thin stuff would never make it here. It's interesting to me that more people are not hanging out every day in this park, just for the green; the trees, the bushes, the lawn, the shade. Maybe I'm just NOT thinking about my upcoming procedure, that would be me, coming up with an elaborate plan about something else.

I looked at Ensenada on line yesterday and this morning. It's not a desert. It looks like the average temperature is mid 70's all year round, although reading about the winter rainy season from Nov to Feb, I bet its not in the 70's then. And the summer sometimes it much hotter, but it is on the Pacific, and so is probly not that hot. Where we come from in northern Calif, the coast is beautiful, but the water is too cold to swim in. I'm hearing the same for Ensenada, altho' I remember swimming at the beach in Long Beach and Newport Beach...southern Calif...but I bet it was cold ha ha.

Truth is I could easily "be over" swimming in the ocean. I never did it that much, except in Hawaii on vacation and then every day for six months down in Guerrero. I love the ocean, the smells, the birds, the crashing waves....I can watch it for hours, and I don't need to be in it. Ensenada needs to be an option for us....and Everardo told me he knows some people there- yep- he lived there, too. Of course he told me to get it out of my head for now- not to start obsessing like I do...ha ha he says when I get something in my head I don't let go. Noooooo-me?

But I worry for him. He doesn't say it, but I know he's trying to figure out how to make some money, how to take care of us. Right now the only tourists on the beach are Nationals (Mexicans) from other states and they are much on buying stuff from the vendors. But even during "the season" there wasn't that many tourists here. He knew that things had slowed down here, but I think maybe he didn't realize it was this much. Working at the center just wasn't making him any money. He really liked what he was doing but we couldn't live on what he was getting. Now he may have another lead, a guy who works at a gym told him there's gonna be an opening to work 4-10pm and he can make enough to get us by. Den & Rick are planning to have a business down here and she told me today she always keeps Everardo's name in her mind. I just want him to know I'm open for something different. He had actually talked about living 6 months in Algodonis and 6 months here so he could work as a vendor.

So I looked at Ensenada. It has a big tourist population. It has at least one cruise ship port. It's a huge city...oh God! 370 thousand!! Well maybe we could live in the outskirts? There's a mountain range nearby and a valley where they grow grapes and make wine. There grass, did I say it's NOT the desert? So I lived in the tropics and now I live in the desert...what's next?

And I also saw there's several manufacturing companies there- hey I could get a job...but I'd still want to teach English for free, maybe wknds? So this is all just my musings...cause who knows what the next few weeks are going to bring. For me- I'm voting for nothing wrong when we get my results!

Ok fun fact about Mexico: (about Ensenada of course)

It is said that the first Vitis vinifera made it to the region's San Ignacio Mission in 1703, when Jesuit Padre Juan de Ugarte planted the first vineyards there.

Well not too much has changed, hmm maybe everything has changed. I did talk to my doctor, I feel like I understand how all this came to pass, and I'm comfortable with my decision to go up to northen Calif to have this procedure done.

I did find out I could do it here, and send the results up there. Yep, it would be cheaper. And if I had any kind of track record with the doctors here, maybe I would. Ok maybe that's a lie. It all has to do with the fear. If it was anything but cancer, I'd be having it checked here. I do believe there is good health care in Mexico. And it's SO affordable. A mammogram is 500 pesos, same for a sonogram. If I was in an accident or had some other illness, I'd be taking care of it here. But it's not. It's cancer (hopefully not), and I want to go to the people who know me. I told Everardo if I was in Calif I wouldn't want to go to any other hospital but Kaiser, cause that's who I went thru all this with before. And at first they said everything was fine, then somebody said...hmmm..wait- let's send this off to UCSF and check. So they want me to do this.

So I spent the money on a ticket. I'll probly end up paying off my deductible for the year, so crap, anything else I want looked at before year end ha ha??

But I am not letting this consume me. I have students for English. I am keeping my commitment to myself to work with Rosetta Stone for Spanish at least one hour every day, and I'm also going to Zumba every evening.

Zumba is kicking my ass. I push every nite to work harder. I feel so much better. And now that it's consistent, there are at least 15 people there every nite and usually more than that. I am still the only American, or at least the only English speaker, but I speak Spanish with the ladies working out around me. We're hot, we're tired, arms hurt or legs hurt, there's a couple of songs, which afterwards, I am not the only one with my head down and hands on my knees ha ha. Lots of kids are there, too. Everybody in Mexico (seems like anyway) has alot of kids, so when you come down to the park to exercise, the kids are in tow, with either parent. I always see kids with the guys on the track or over on the workout stations where the bars are. So during Zumba there's always kids running around, or trying to follow the dances ha ha. They stand next to their moms and swing their arms and jump around. I like it- well most of the time, I almost fell over a kid on a bike yesterday, and today a soccer ball appeared in the middle of everyone. So life goes on around it. The women who come are all ages, shapes and sizes. There's this one, she looks pretty young, but of course has at least 2 kids that I could identify as hers, anyway she dresses in bright pink and green, in these crazy getups, I tiny pair of green shorts stretched over pink leggings...a pink headband and some very tight fitting pink top. Yeah nobody here worries about hiding their fat...it's true. Women wear all kinds of stuff, not just at zumba and they strut their stuff. They are so confident, that they look good. Me- I gotta put a teeshirt over that stuff. But I love the freedom here, to do zumba in the park (and it's free- gotta love that), to dress the way that makes you feel good.

And everybody is nice to me. The teacher is always calling me by name- some song today- after she yelled "Es para Teresa!" (It's for Teresa)....It's 5 nites a week and we both go. Everardo alternates running for an hour and doing the workout stuff- sit ups, pull ups, etc. When we get home, we grab our spoiled doggys and take them for a drive, just 15-20 minutes. Sometimes out to the beach and a quick walk out so they can poop and Sam can run a little, but sometimes just a drive and he hangs his big head out the window and smells everything. It's a nice ritual.

Today English class was great after having a not great day out there yesterday. I had 4 students today who are long term- being coming for months, and then 4 new people. Thurs (today is not a new people day, but I encourage them to come to listen, maybe pick up something- but it's not required). But my 4 students- they were awesome!! They had to tell me in English what they do during the day, for at least 3 days, so we worked on sentences. Then they had to tell me about each other's days, so verbs and pronouns had to change. I saw this one lady look...and then she yelled- Maestra! (that's me- teacher)...and she got the connection! I was so happy! Happier than her I think ha ha! So we did them all, and then another woman asked what if we want to put the person's name first? Cause all the sentences started with..."On Monday I ....." so we worked thru on of those and she got that the action stayed with the name, and then the rest....well anyway it was REALLY fun because the students were excited and figuring things out with each other and then presenting them to me. So cool. I have a couple other students in that category, and actually Tues I started with just one guy, Francisco who speaks a little English, and so I had him tell me about his job in English.

Which turns out to be 2 jobs! This guy drives a water truck from 7am to 3pm, and a taxi from 4pm until 3 in the morning! We talked about the water truck- the kind that carry the big garrafons - the big plastic jugs- and they sell them in the neighborhoods. We just take ours to the Oxxo down the street and it's a few pesos cheaper. But they drive by my open bedroom window every morning no later than 8:30, honking their horn the entire time so you know they're out there. I asked him if he did that- he laughed and said oh no! I play music! Anyway this guy sleeps from 3am to 6am when he wakes up and starts again. He has a wife and 2 little kids. He only has Sunday off. I love this guy, he has the best attitude, always laughing and keeps the class lively- is very good natured so I can pick on him in a funny way and everyone has fun. He mostly only comes on Tuesdays when he takes a break- if he's not too busy. But he's very motivated to learn and so he is learning alot.

People get paid next to nothing here, and so they do what they need to to survive. Luckily things are cheap, medical care, rent, food is a little cheaper than the US, but you gotta go to the Mexican stores, not Sam's Club or Aurrera Bodega- which is owned by Walmart, and we're finding the best places for different things. Everardo just found a better place for meat today, and has to show me where it is. We're trying not to eat too much meat, but gotta have some, ya know? Tonite we had some breaded beef, kinda like chicken fried steak, and it was really good! He also bought some marinaded pork which we'll try probly tomorrow...hmmm 2 nites in a row- ok splurge!

So tomorrow he's working with a guy who called tonite to ask him to help with some construction and maybe he said insulation...tomorrow and Saturday, so I guess after Spanish I'll take the kids (oops I mean dogs) to the park. But no English class tomorrow so I can lay in the grass in the park and read...ahh sounds nice doesn't it?

Ok fun fact about Mexico:
Mexico City is built over the ruins of a great Aztec city, Tenochtitlán. Because it is built on a lake, Mexico is sinking at a rate of 6 to 8 inches a year as pumps draw water out for the city’s growing population.

In limbo

I still don't know anything. My doctor doesn't come in on Monday. I called and asked for a phone appt, but they said nothing available until Thursday! I was awful and yelled at the poor receptionist- but she had already asked me what was the reason I wanted the appt and I told her, that it was about a cancer check! That I had been left an email msg late Friday nite and got to worry all weekend. No- not waiting until Thurs. You know how this stuff goes. I can try calling tomorrow morning at 9am. She'll send him a msg. I kept asking for a number to call him and she kept insisting she needed my number, even tho I said I was calling from Mexico. Ok I give. I gave her my number and...silence...then- oh I don't think he can call this number. Ha ha.

However I made the appt for Aug 6. Tonite I bought an airline ticket. Instead of $275 it was $375 cause it's in so close. But once I knew it was about cancer...well my fear set in and the money lost it's important standing in my life ha ha. Actually Everardo took me to a clinic where they said they do this procesudre, and it's 500 pesos (so about $50). However they do not- they do mammograms and sonograms, and they are 500 pesos- such a good deal here. So he talked to this doctor we know and he gave him a card for an obgyn...we called but can't get in to see him until early Aug, So- that's when we decided I'll just go up there and have it done. I still need to talk to the doctor and hopefully I can do that tomorrow. I did email him, but since he's not in, he hasn't read them yet.

I'm going up for one week; I'll get there Sunday nite and the procedure is Tuesday. Then leave the following Monday. I'm only telling Drew that I'm coming. Well I also wrote to my old AA sponsor, Scott (yes I know I should have a woman sponsor but he's the best sponsor I ever had- and when I saw him when I was up there in May- well when I need a sponsor to talk to- he's it). So I wrote to him, also because he understands. His wife was diagnosed 2 months after me, but with a cancer that has required her to get stem cell transplants- from herself. Their entire lives have changed, and altho she's in pretty good shape right now, well I'm not sure about her future and she's close to my age.

When I went last time, I was tooo busy. And yet I felt like a visitor, that as soon as I walked away, I was no longer on anyone's radar. I guess that's what happens when you move away. I'm ok with it, it let me let go of stuff. As always I miss my kids, but that's almost it. And Halla and I seem to struggle to find our common ground. We were so close after her Jan visit, but it began to slip away again. I just keep saying, she's 20, she's 20...she'll grow up a little bit more and realize that family is what matters. So I confided in my Drewy. I'll stay with her, she's not working so she can go to the dr with me. The next day, the 7th is her birthday, and maybe I can keep a low profile so she can have her birthday however she planned it- It's a week day so I'm thinking probly not to big of a party, and maybe it will be the kind that moms are invited to ha ha.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I took the dogs and a book to the park, laid on a towel in the shade and read...Sam rolled around in the grass and Lucky tried to follow Sam around. Everardo showed up after walking the beach; but I know he's worried about me, doesn't want me to be scared. Later just he and I went down to the Malecon for an ice cream, and there were tons of people, families, kids on skateboards, music. We sat on the big steps across the street from the pavilion and watched people. After dark the people come out. It was nice.

We haven't had hot water for over a month. Don't need it, the water is warm, warmer than warm. It reminds me of Playa Ventura, you don't miss hot water. Well this weekend the tv stopped having a picture, and Friday the internet sucked...wow really felt like down there ha ha. But I watched a free movie online (Killing Season with Dinero & Travolta- loved it) and after about 3 hours the tv came back. Saturday nite I made a baked chicken and veges...ooops nope- the oven stopped working. Oh and the overhead light fixture in the kitchen stopped as well....hmmmm things are falling apart. But- we don't need hot water, we know a guy to call about the stove, and for the light, well Poppi thinks he knows someone and we'll get rid of the huge thing & simply have a light with a bowl fixture. Life goes on. I teach tomorrow, and I always love that. I'm so grateful to be able to do that.

The zumba woman is consistently coming! 7pm sharp and she's there! Wow! More and more women are coming...and man she's beating the shit out of me...and I love it. So hopefully tomorrow I'll understand a little better what's going on with this doctor stuff...so stay tuned.

Oh and the fun fact...

Mexico is located in the “Ring of Fire,” one of the earth’s most violent earthquake and volcano zones.