I was SO completely WRONG! About how it is here when a an infant dies. It's a huge deal. A very big thing. The whole day today was about that precious baby. Those gunshot noises I thought I was hearing- they were the firecrackers that are let off all day when a baby dies. And it's only for babies or young children, not adults. I'm not sure whether it's because they are angels or it's telling the angels they are coming. And they are super loud; I thought they were going off right outside our property. Ha ha I was home alone, not even Sam was here and at first didn't want to go look. The kids never showed up for school, and suddenly it was 3pm.
Then Everardo came home and said, get ready, we're going to go with all of them to the cemetery. So we went down the road to the family's house. There were alot of people sitting on their patio. The other was Gume's half sister, which is why Everardo left with him this morning. Turns out they went to the cemetery and dug the baby's grave. So we went and sat; there was a guy, I guess a priest although he wasn't dressed in any special way, and he was reading and then singing a prayer (I think a prayer), then the people would sing the prayer too. I think it was a mass.They had made a little altar, and decorated it with rolls of crate paper and paper flowers. The baby was in this tiny white satin box. At the end Eriika told me I should view the baby and make the sign of the cross, so I did that. Of course that pushed me over the edge, that tiny perfect baby. So small so quiet. And I started thinking of my sister and when her baby boy died the day after he was born. I think she almost died from it. The pain I mean. Your baby. And like my sister, this was this woman's first baby. I met her a few weeks ago while she was still pregnant. I remember saying this little girl is pregnant, but Everardo said well she's 20. (To me, 20 is still too young to have a baby, but I am in a new country where people think differently, and no matter what, nobody deserves this).
So after the mass, they picked up the little that the tiny box was on and walked up the road to the church where somebody rang the big bell outside the church several times. My husband helped to carry it; along the way each of the 4 men carrying the table were relieved by another man.After the church bell stopped ringing the whole thing was lifted into the back of a truck. People got in all around it, and got into other trucks that had materialized (ha ha when I wasn't looking). We walked back the way we came, following the slow moving trucks, and picked up ours. Good thing cause one truck suddenly got a flat and so about 20 kids jumped in the back of our little Nissan. So we followed the caravan and turned up a dirt road in worse shape than the main road, and went up and up this beat up rocky road to the local cemetery. It was pretty. Not really maintained, except maybe by people just for their loved one's grave site. Not quite there and we all stopped and walked behind the men carrying the table with the tiny casket, like when we walked to the church. We followed them up and around to the grave site.
The box was open again. The priest prayed and sang, the people sang, it sounded like the same prayer over and over. Finally they closed the tiny box. But when they put nails in it, I cried. All the flowers from the house were there, too. My Poppi and another guy shoveled the dirt back into the hole with the box in it. Then they signaled these other guys who brought buckets of cement. Gune had laid a piece of crossed rebarb o top of the dirt and the they out wood planks around it to hold the cement. The cement was poured in, about 6 plastic buckets full, tall buckets. Gume spread it and smoothed it, then a couple of women placed all the flowers around it all. Then candles were lit. A cross had been made and it was pushed into the cement, and a wreath of beautiful blue flowers placed on it.
And then it was done. We piled back into the trucks and went back to their house. Before we had started the first procession to the church I was able to offer my condolences to the grandparents, and Everardo was able to speak with the father. Their family thanked us for coming. Afterwards we sat with Chela and Gume for a few minutes, Poppi and Gume cut open some coconuts for us to drink, and then we came home. The people here are beautiful, they come out for each other. They take care of each other. It was incredibly sad & incredibly beautiful at the same time. What a day.
Then Everardo came home and said, get ready, we're going to go with all of them to the cemetery. So we went down the road to the family's house. There were alot of people sitting on their patio. The other was Gume's half sister, which is why Everardo left with him this morning. Turns out they went to the cemetery and dug the baby's grave. So we went and sat; there was a guy, I guess a priest although he wasn't dressed in any special way, and he was reading and then singing a prayer (I think a prayer), then the people would sing the prayer too. I think it was a mass.They had made a little altar, and decorated it with rolls of crate paper and paper flowers. The baby was in this tiny white satin box. At the end Eriika told me I should view the baby and make the sign of the cross, so I did that. Of course that pushed me over the edge, that tiny perfect baby. So small so quiet. And I started thinking of my sister and when her baby boy died the day after he was born. I think she almost died from it. The pain I mean. Your baby. And like my sister, this was this woman's first baby. I met her a few weeks ago while she was still pregnant. I remember saying this little girl is pregnant, but Everardo said well she's 20. (To me, 20 is still too young to have a baby, but I am in a new country where people think differently, and no matter what, nobody deserves this).
So after the mass, they picked up the little that the tiny box was on and walked up the road to the church where somebody rang the big bell outside the church several times. My husband helped to carry it; along the way each of the 4 men carrying the table were relieved by another man.After the church bell stopped ringing the whole thing was lifted into the back of a truck. People got in all around it, and got into other trucks that had materialized (ha ha when I wasn't looking). We walked back the way we came, following the slow moving trucks, and picked up ours. Good thing cause one truck suddenly got a flat and so about 20 kids jumped in the back of our little Nissan. So we followed the caravan and turned up a dirt road in worse shape than the main road, and went up and up this beat up rocky road to the local cemetery. It was pretty. Not really maintained, except maybe by people just for their loved one's grave site. Not quite there and we all stopped and walked behind the men carrying the table with the tiny casket, like when we walked to the church. We followed them up and around to the grave site.
The box was open again. The priest prayed and sang, the people sang, it sounded like the same prayer over and over. Finally they closed the tiny box. But when they put nails in it, I cried. All the flowers from the house were there, too. My Poppi and another guy shoveled the dirt back into the hole with the box in it. Then they signaled these other guys who brought buckets of cement. Gune had laid a piece of crossed rebarb o top of the dirt and the they out wood planks around it to hold the cement. The cement was poured in, about 6 plastic buckets full, tall buckets. Gume spread it and smoothed it, then a couple of women placed all the flowers around it all. Then candles were lit. A cross had been made and it was pushed into the cement, and a wreath of beautiful blue flowers placed on it.
And then it was done. We piled back into the trucks and went back to their house. Before we had started the first procession to the church I was able to offer my condolences to the grandparents, and Everardo was able to speak with the father. Their family thanked us for coming. Afterwards we sat with Chela and Gume for a few minutes, Poppi and Gume cut open some coconuts for us to drink, and then we came home. The people here are beautiful, they come out for each other. They take care of each other. It was incredibly sad & incredibly beautiful at the same time. What a day.
wow brings tears to my eyes.....can't imagine how one can go thru this :(
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