Looking forward

Mexico changed me and continues to change me, even though sometimes the changes are not even with Mexico or the Mexican people. The meditation groups I just joined-I think most of the people in both meditation groups are expats- Americans or Canadians, but I know there's a woman from Chile, and another from Holland. There's another woman who I think travels extensively, and has been to India several times and other places; it's funny, she caught me in the hall and after chit chatting for a few minutes she told me she thinks that I am interesting! And she wants to get to know ME! ha ha I was thinking the same of her....so I went to meditation looking for one thing but am also finding other things....I also think my friend Jan is very interesting and she is also married to a Mexican and we have found a couple of things to laugh about with our heads together.

Something happened today that also has me back to thinking about how I can contribute to the community in a positive way. At the grocery store there were at least 20 kids standing around the bakery counter, young kids, maybe 7 to 12 years old...maybe some younger and some older than that, but not much older. They were all with this one guy, I thought he seemed like a priest maybe even though he was not wearing "priest clothes" ha ha. The kids were jostling each other and laughing...then I saw them all again in the checkout lanes and people were smiling at them, and I saw the guy counting them- aha! keep track...and I realized he was counting in English....and that got me thinking. When we got outside he was herding them into a little micro bus and I asked Everardo if he thought they were from around here, and that I saw/heard the guy counting them in English. Poppi said yeah they're probly from here; that there's community centers or places where people are helping kids- that sometimes it's for kids that the parents are addicts and have gone to a rehab, sometimes it's for kids who's families are trying to feed their kids and are struggling. I want to get involved. I don't know how exactly, but I was looking when I first got here and couldn't find anything, but we've been over here awhile now..I think this is month 10, and maybe it's time to open up my eyes again. Even if it's one day a week...So I don't know how I'm gonna find these places....worst case is going back to the store and asking, or going back to the store next Sunday afternoon...but helping a kid? Everardo is working 5 days a week and always on the weekend- his days off are not even in a row (Mon & Thur)...I think I can donate some time. I think it's time to try again to get involved.

Yes I'll be gone for 10 days in Sept- so what. And then we'll be gone 2 or 3 weeks, after I get back, but these kids are not going anywhere, maybe I can find out where one or more of these places are, and talk to somebody...yeah. Good! New plan. Find a new way to be of service. Wish me luck readers- I am a part of this life, of this world, of people. I cannot affect or change so many terrible horrible things I see going on all over the world. I cannot bear to watch the news anymore. But right here, in front of me, where I breathe, are people living in such poverty...are struggling families, are kids who...well you know what I mean. I used to love this slogan "Think globally act locally". Writing here always helps me put my thoughts in order. I write a bunch of crap, and then something positive comes up sometimes. I want to help-, maybe helping with school work, maybe washing dishes, maybe teaching English, maybe playing games, maybe telling stories...I believe it's ok that this minute I don't know how or what-but- Yes wish me luck please, I want to help.
Well my foot is almost better. I assume my toe is broken, but what do you do with a broken toe? Tape it to the next toe? So I wrapped it and kept it elevated whenever I sat down. Exercising was interesting but not impossible. The weights were fine, but dancing?? ha ha I was like a chubby awkward stork on th beach, hopping around on one foot, or staying still and flapping my wings all over the place. But I did it. By Monday my toes were black and blue as well as half my foot....but I think the bruising is the path to healing. But like I said I kept up with my exercise program. I found I can keep my heart rate up with alot of arm swinging almost standing in place.

However I do realize that I have to modify, revise, as I go. So when I have the morning meditation group every other Wed morning, I am going to take the day off from exercising, and make it up on Saturday. It's a full workout day, meaning weights & dance so I don't want to just skip it, but this is the second time I did the workout in the afternoon and ended up feeling like shit after, so afternoons are out for the full monty. I have become...old? arrgghh ok maybe not old, but at least set in my ways, and having my protein shake at 4pm, then not wanting dinner, and being fatigued at 7pm...then wide awake at 11pm ha ha. Not workin' for me..... My full workout ends up being about 3 hours...so... because I want to go to meditation as well, I just have to revise. ok

Well that leads into something else. My new friend Jan had me over because I am borrowing her extra Kindle for a few days since my book for the afternoon meditation hadn't come in yet and for this Wed I need to have read a portion of it. When I was there she showed me her new toy- a Wii Fit. I've never used a Wii before but seen them of course. Jan wants to start exercising but is a little older than me, and needs to start slow, so she's been coming over to take a walk on the beach on a few afternoons. We usually walk about an hour and a half, but "leisurely", stopping to pick up perfect sand dollars, or to make a point about something. Watching my silly dogs romp in the surf. I bring their ball and so they jump around us excitedly- as if we don't play ball at the beach every single day (ha ha) and they chase every one like it might somehow get away. Anyway she shows her Wii and it looked pretty fun so I gave it a try with a couple of programs....a balance thing where a penguin is on an iceberg gobbling fish ha ha, also a step routine, and it also got my heart rate going. Her plan is to do it every day but invited me as well- so I thought....oh! How about on Wed afternoons after the morning meditation- which she also goes to-....so that would be every other week for me, and she liked that idea, and I can see her progress and she can keep walking with me. Aha love it when things work out right??

Well I just used my blog to figure out a new workout sch..adding something new on alternating Wednesdays and making up the weights...

So I started the book "Essential Spirituality" and I think maybe I am going to love it. This is for the afternoon meditation group that alternates Weds as well. It's a much bigger group and more structured. The plan is to read an agreed portion of the text, on our own "do" the associated exercised, and then share our experience at group. There is an opening and closing meditation, with the discussion in the middle. I read into the first section with the first "exercises". It was about identifying your cravings- and not my craving for ice cream, rather things like, for example, anger- how am I addicted to it? Well if it's my first solution to things/events in front of me, then what is the pay off, or what am I afraid of, or what do I think I'm not getting that I deserve? But you can also crave or be addicted to...work, alcohol, sex, food, other emotions...fear....Not positive I totally get the concept, but I plan to re read the section before the meeting and am very interested in hearing what other people have to say. Then the exercises help you to investigate your feelings and then make a plan to change your habits.....I mean one example was as simple as if you are always late and you want to change, to commit to being on time, then make the commitment, have no exceptions, keep a journal, create a new habit- so see I don't really understand....but I want to. I mean I understand addiction- I'm an alcoholic with 13 years in recovery, so I know about commitment, changing my life, my habits, how I look at things. In fact AA invited me to find a spiritual path and that has brought me to here, now, to this minute. And my new health/fitness commitment to myself- I have just started month 5, and I am keeping a journal about both my progress and how I feel about it. So maybe I understand more than I know, just need to hear it another way. Anyway I'm excited for this new journey as well.

Ha! I start out writing one thing and then jump around. And yet I feel more settled. One thing though, I am so excited to see in my stats that I get views from people in Turkey and even Iraq...as well as lots of other countries I know I have said that before...Germany, China, Russia..all over the place. I wish so much people would comment. Maybe you will only say what a lame blog ha ha. Most of the page views are from the U.S and Mexico- but what do those people think? I know this is just my online diary and in the beginning it was about this new country I moved to, but now I have settled in one spot and so mostly write about day to day stuff (altho I do have 2 trips coming up). So I still wish I knew what people think....you can comment....I would love it- and if it's all negative comments, well another opportunity for me to work on acceptance ha ha. I do not have tons of people reading this, if I was trying to make money I would have already starved to death ha ha.I just checked- less than 500 looks at my blog in the past month...ah well. But I get to write how I feel and what I'm up to, and like I said I sometimes figure out stuff here....like deciding I want to try again to get involved in the community - maybe I gave up to easy before....anyway, as always....Viva!