Ok gonna go back to go forward....I found some notes, phrases really that I wrote the first day or two driving thru the Sonoran desert. The first is simply "chicken highway". This is what we call the highway that is one lane in each direction with a half lane on the outside of each lane. There is a dotted line down the center and the traffic can pass going in either direction...and of course at a very high rate of speed, usually posted at 110 kilometers (I think 65mph). If you are the person being passed you are supposed to move into the half lane on your right. Because it is for passing, cars pass on corners, hills, no matter how many cars are in a line.....yeah so we call it "chicken highway". You play chicken...and sometimes whether you want to or not. They had the chicken highway in a few other places, but the Sonora desert is where I really remember it. The other thing about Sonora was the checkpoints. Man- they got a lotta checkpoints. I guess because it's a border state...there were lots of truck check points as well- which I noticed on the way home. They were being stopped going north, and also coming west from Baja (I think). I don't know how anything gets anywhere on schedule/time on a truck. We were waved thru all of them except one...and that was on the way back- we took the tarp off the stuff in the back of the truck...and altho our suitcases and bags were inside, the guy merely asked me how I liked Mexico and- oh wait, he might have picked up the closest thing which was Everardo's blue backpack that had some dirty teeshirts in it ha ha.
Oh yeah- the first time we were stopped, and it was the first day in Sonora, we were asked for the truck's registration, which we couldn't find! The guy said don't worry, but you should find it because the next guy might be more strict. (all in Spanish of course). We did find it later...I went thru every piece of paper in the truck while we were driving....but nobody ever asked us for it again. Still better to have it.
So, day 2 drove thru Guaymus and Obregon (Sonora). Ha ha Guaymus (sounds like Why-muss), and we were yelling "Why-muss Why-muss" and laughing. Anyway it smelled like fish! Obregon we saw these huge gray birds; they might have been some kind of heron but with almost bushy wings. Day 3 as we crossed into Sinaloa we got a speeding ticket......damn. But- we actually were speeding...so paid it the day we got back. Anyway we watched on the way home and saw cops with radar guns - but only in Sinaloa...weird eh? In Sinaloa we passed fields of vegetables being grown and saw the mountains in the distance.....These mountains are called "Esptinozo de Diablo", "Spine of the Devil" and are supposedly a drug trafficking route.
Day 3 we hit Nayarit, beautiful, lush....the free roads were again winding thru little towns and villages...Later when we passed into Michoacan...maybe 2 minutes after...we saw 6 truck fulls of ninja cops speed by us.....(I call the cops dressed in all black with their faces covered ninjas). After all the small towns we had been going thru I couldn't imagine where they must be going. We followed behind them and saw them exit to a town still to small to be called a city- hmmm maybe there was a special at the doughnut store??? (or oh wait is that only in the US? ha ha)
Ok, I already wrote about our wonderful time in Morelia, even the auto shop fun....so now onto Guerrero and Playa Ventura. We hit our first toll booth with students manning it instead of the regular workers. They were polite and actually asked us for less toll than was posted ha ha. Although I believe they were keeping the money to support their causes, probly to buy food and water since many of them were far from home. Later on we came across more protesters blocking the roads into/out of small towns, and they were always peaceful, holding signs and banners, and collecting coins from those of us passing thru. They always said thank you and bless you, etc. I personally am always happy to see a peaceful protest- I believe in people standing up for their rights, trying to help people to become aware. I have stood on street corners holding up signs, against war, in support of family, etc. I know there has been some violence in the protests. I do not agree with that. I even wonder if maybe the violence is a little convenient....shows the students as bad....Anyway we did not see anything violent or bad.
Playa Ventura was hot and humid and beautiful and wonderful. And I left knowing it's an amazing place for a vacation....but I have no wish to live there again. Part of me went there looking for something, closure, or that I missed something...or...well I don't know what. Our physical reason for the trip was to check on the house we own down there, and to get some documents taken care of with regards to it. Oh and to get my books (yippeee) and at least one piece of furniture...a sort of secretary desk antique thing. We got those things, plus this blanket I really wanted- I may have written about it before....used to keep warm in the Mexico City airport when having to stay overnite there waiting for a connecting flight. It was just a couple of cardboard boxes of books...but they're mine, some I've had a long time...some I haven't read, at least one was a gift from my brother....I just love my books. I have some back in Calif in the garage with the few things I didn't give away ha ha. But having them here now, all around me in bookshelves that Everardo built when we got here (same as he did when we got to Playa Ventura, but we left those down there), just makes the house more comfy and warm.
I met the rest of the guy's family who care-takes the house for us. Our renters were not there- they actually went to France for 3 months but paid the rent up front for the time they are going to be gone so we're happy with that. The property is now home to 2 big dogs; a german shepard and a pitbull so we really only got to go in, see what we wanted and leave. Then we came back a few days later to load it up. I wish we coulda stayed there, maybe upstairs, but the people did not want us there, especially when they were not, and I couldn't argue with that, so we didn't. The one weird thing was- and I find this really really really weird- is that they boarded up the gate in the back fence that is access to the beach! What??? Yeah so I was told they never ever go to the beach! Yeah- I don't understand this at all. What's the point of renting there, eh? Ok there's the view...but you can get so much closer...I mean my rock is right outside that gate. So Jay's family is really nice, he lives with his wife, very young daughter, and his parents, and ...of course....like everyone there almost, they have a restaurant. The nite before we left they had us for dinner and OMG!! The best shrimp I think I ever had! It was made in a sweet & sour way...in fact I was a new recipe being tried out! There were also these small bananas cooked almost the same way and they were also soooo delicious!
Another nite we went to El Faro, our friends Gencho & Rosa for dinner and had this amazing fish called Frell. It's a warm water fish; Gencho caught it in the morning and we ate it that nite. It was the best fish I ever had! It has darker meat, not white...it doesn't taste fishy- it tastes like meat. It was awesome. Then of course another day was my all time favorite- Chela's enchiladas...to die for. I mean we ate so good for those few short days there. We stayed in a bungalow at Chela's; I remember when her husband, Gume, was building them when we lived there. They are just a small round room, with a small bathroom connected...the bathroom is a tile floor; a sink that's a beautiful bowl- like one you would put fruit in on your table, and the faucet was a huge conch shell that the water came thru. The shower was right over head, so ha ha the toilet got washed when you took a shower. The small room could just hold a standard double bed, and had mosquito netting coming down over it, and 2 small shelves to put your stuff on, one on each side of the bed. You could just walk around 3 sides of it- and to pass each other took work. The floor was plank wood, the same as the walls, and then on the outside had woven palm fronds on the sides and also as a thatched roof. It did rain 2 of the nites though, and the rain only came thru the bathroom roof...so the bedroom roof was something besides just palm fronds.....
One small surprise was a stray dog (we assume it was a stray- they have a lot of homeless dogs like all over Mexico), had just had puppies- right underneath us! We heard the tiny cries, and then found from the bathroom, which was a halfstep down, we could see the tiny pups, eyes still closed. We didn't tell anyone while we were there because they would have been moved, probly to somewhere not so safe, and maybe something much worse like....disposed of...well we actually started to tell, but heard, oh no we'll get rid of them...and then didn't say anything else....they had alot of customers camping and staying at their place so we knew they'd forget....I mean I know at some point they wuill be dealt with, but at least their eyes will be open, or maybe mama dog will move them herself. Some neighborhood kids saw her going under there and were throwing rocks at her...I actually sat outside our bungalow the day before we left with my book for a few hours, reading, but protecting her and her babies. I know it's hard in Mexico. I know people struggle to feed their families, that animals in many areas are not really seen as pets, or at least not in the sense that Americans do. (yes I know there is animal cruelty in the US, too). But not only do they not count, they don't get 'fixed", spayed or neutered and so they continue to have puppies....and yes- I don't know what happened to these puppies or their mama after we left, and it's not for me to judge or have any opinion about the state of affairs, but they were ok while we were there. Actually we fed her; she didn't seem particularly skinny and maybe she was someone's dog....but we saw her a couple of times, come out from under the bungalow and then looking for food, it seemed, on the beach. Friday nite we went to a rodeo - we saw dancing horses, but left before the bull riding (the cowboys looked like they were getting drunk, it was late, you know...) anyway- I went for a plate of food and it was big bones with alot of meat on them so I took one, wrapped in a napkin and brought it home to mama dog.
We swam in the ocean just one day...for hours though; it was glorious! But tiring; the waves bang you into shore, and always towards one side of the beach or the other, so sooner or later you would be knocked into the rocks, so you must always pull yourself back towards the middle. It is not a bay like here, it's the ocean. As one wave pulls back out from shore- with a tug/undertow that will gladly take you with it, many times the next wave is already coming and they slam into each other. It's exciting and exhilarating to be right there in the clash and how the surf flies up. I get knocked all over, sometimes "ass over tea kettle" as they say ha ha. The truth is, when we first went to the shore, I was afraid...my fear had returned, the fear I developed after being almost dragged out to sea, banged up against the rocks and luckily just cut up my knees and foot, broke my toe,....but then realized the absolute power of the ocean in a way I had never thought about it before. That was the year before we moved down there, and it happened in front of Gencho and Rosa's place, on their beach. I have a huge respect for the ocean now, since then- and after being gone for 2 years, after 2 years of only swimming in bay waters, including the year in Sonora where we were on the Sea of Cortez- again not open ocean....well the fear grabbed me- hard. But it also wore off pretty quickly; Everardo and his "don't be afraid" that he tells me in bad traffic, scary ocean...ok even in our bay when I get way out there.....Still I could not get comfortable in front of the rocks where we used to sit in pools of water and then the waves would seep thru the rocks onto us...I felt the tug and just couldn't do it. If we had stayed longer I'm sure I would have become ok with it, but we were just there a few short days. So we swam in front of Chela's; where the sandy beach is wide and the rocks off to each side. It is always tiring though, fighting the constant pull outwards and to the sides.
Afterwards we went in Chela's pool. We had also gone in the pool the first nite, after dark. The people camping there had kids and they were in the pool. One spoke a little English and so I was approached and then asked tons of questions in English & Spanish. I am always happy to interact with kids- especially around 8-12 years old. They are so open, and not afraid to ask anything ha ha!
We saw them again the afternoon of the ocean swim, in fact we saw them at the beach, but they didn't stay in too long, I think their parent's were rightly happier to have them in the pool.
The first day I was able to visit my rock for a short while, then Poppi found me and we went to Chela's. Then he left me to go with Gume for a few minutes to help with something and was gone for hours. Chela was very busy with her campers and I remembered the way I had felt isolated living there....it was like- oh yeah....why did I want to come back?? I didn't want to ask Chela to make my any food; she was so busy....so I went to the truck (we hadn't gotten a bungalow yet) and made myself a peanut butter sandwich...then decided to feel sorry for myself. Later Chela showed up but I would not let her make me any food- after all I had my pb sand.,....Then Everardo showed up and Chela made hin some fish and I napped (ok laid there still feeling sorry for myself ha ha). Poppi came back and invited me for a swim.....knew I was put out. The swim was the perfect answer. As soon as I hit the water I felt refreshed. I realized I was being silly- selfish really...and surrendered- I came over to the winning side! I looked around and remembered how grateful I was for my life, for all the fantastic and wonderful opportunities had. I hugged my husband and played ...gleefully..with the kids.
The last morning, just a couple of days later I went back to my rock. I sat out there for more than 2 hours. At first I couldn't get that...that feeling, that spiritual feeling, the serenity I found there, it was the place I really learned to ask for guidance. So instead, I watched these tiny crabs scurrying over the rocks. Then bigger ones ventured forth and they were clearly in charge; the smaller ones got out of the way. The big ones challenged other big ones. (Oh and I by "big" I still mean maybe the size of the palm of my hand). I saw that they could jump from the side of a rock to the side or top of another. Waves would hit, wash over them, but wouldn't wash them away...they have some kind of sticky stuff on the bottom of their many little feeties. I started then to watch the waves...some further out, hitting some rocks out there, some coming in to me. I moved much closer to the edge;....the first day I sat back aways....I started talking to the universe. To the fresh air, to the wind, to the water, to the rocks...to the sun. To my higher power- which is the universe and all of it's elements. I talked about how I used to feel there, how I asked for guidance, how I felt when I moved away. Unsure, exhausted, isolated...but also elated, full of faith....looking forward. Can you be unsure and faithful at the same time...yeah apparently so....but in different ways...sure about one thing, unsure about another....knowing what's wrong but having to have faith about what's right.
I kept on talking, and I don't know when it changed, but it did. I felt warmed by the sun, tickled by the breeze, overjoyed at the sight of the waves, my spirituality was back. But what I also knew in one moment was, that it never left me. That I was receiving the same gifts in my new surroundings, that the way I feel when I exercise on the beach, or sit with my coffee and look out at the bay....once I discovered the gifts of spirituality, I got to keep them, I just needed to remember. So I was not looking for closure, there was no closure. I love Playa Ventura. I love the beach, the waves, the air, the people, my friends....and the one friend who lives in the states, the woman who turned me on to Playa Ventura in the first place, my resentments around her, are gone. For her, now I have only compassion. I am sorry she is afraid to live in that beautiful place, that she is afraid of Mexico. I am sorry about how she acts to make herself feel better. No, she was my friend, and in my heart she is again. I will never trust her again, but I should not be trusting everyone so much- not when there is such a difference between cultures. There is unconditional love, but there is also behaving in a reasonable way for your circumstance, your culture, your set of beliefs. Not sure I am articulating this correctly, I barely understand it myself. And I'm also not sure that my resentment will not return. But at least as far as her family members are concerned, the ones I was and am friends with..it's all good with them. I hope to see them all again- maybe next year for Rosa & Gencho's 25 anniversary.
We ended up meeting a guy there from a larger nearby city who is a real estate guy. I emailed him some pictures of our house there and Everardo talked to him about price, etc. Maybe it will (finally) sell...sometime. We will see, Hmmm it seems there will be at least one more post about my trip because I am done for now...want to think about this whole trust/culture thing.....did I say the trip was awesome...it was. I'm so happy we went. Ok more later. Viva
Oh yeah- the first time we were stopped, and it was the first day in Sonora, we were asked for the truck's registration, which we couldn't find! The guy said don't worry, but you should find it because the next guy might be more strict. (all in Spanish of course). We did find it later...I went thru every piece of paper in the truck while we were driving....but nobody ever asked us for it again. Still better to have it.
So, day 2 drove thru Guaymus and Obregon (Sonora). Ha ha Guaymus (sounds like Why-muss), and we were yelling "Why-muss Why-muss" and laughing. Anyway it smelled like fish! Obregon we saw these huge gray birds; they might have been some kind of heron but with almost bushy wings. Day 3 as we crossed into Sinaloa we got a speeding ticket......damn. But- we actually were speeding...so paid it the day we got back. Anyway we watched on the way home and saw cops with radar guns - but only in Sinaloa...weird eh? In Sinaloa we passed fields of vegetables being grown and saw the mountains in the distance.....These mountains are called "Esptinozo de Diablo", "Spine of the Devil" and are supposedly a drug trafficking route.
Day 3 we hit Nayarit, beautiful, lush....the free roads were again winding thru little towns and villages...Later when we passed into Michoacan...maybe 2 minutes after...we saw 6 truck fulls of ninja cops speed by us.....(I call the cops dressed in all black with their faces covered ninjas). After all the small towns we had been going thru I couldn't imagine where they must be going. We followed behind them and saw them exit to a town still to small to be called a city- hmmm maybe there was a special at the doughnut store??? (or oh wait is that only in the US? ha ha)
Ok, I already wrote about our wonderful time in Morelia, even the auto shop fun....so now onto Guerrero and Playa Ventura. We hit our first toll booth with students manning it instead of the regular workers. They were polite and actually asked us for less toll than was posted ha ha. Although I believe they were keeping the money to support their causes, probly to buy food and water since many of them were far from home. Later on we came across more protesters blocking the roads into/out of small towns, and they were always peaceful, holding signs and banners, and collecting coins from those of us passing thru. They always said thank you and bless you, etc. I personally am always happy to see a peaceful protest- I believe in people standing up for their rights, trying to help people to become aware. I have stood on street corners holding up signs, against war, in support of family, etc. I know there has been some violence in the protests. I do not agree with that. I even wonder if maybe the violence is a little convenient....shows the students as bad....Anyway we did not see anything violent or bad.
Playa Ventura was hot and humid and beautiful and wonderful. And I left knowing it's an amazing place for a vacation....but I have no wish to live there again. Part of me went there looking for something, closure, or that I missed something...or...well I don't know what. Our physical reason for the trip was to check on the house we own down there, and to get some documents taken care of with regards to it. Oh and to get my books (yippeee) and at least one piece of furniture...a sort of secretary desk antique thing. We got those things, plus this blanket I really wanted- I may have written about it before....used to keep warm in the Mexico City airport when having to stay overnite there waiting for a connecting flight. It was just a couple of cardboard boxes of books...but they're mine, some I've had a long time...some I haven't read, at least one was a gift from my brother....I just love my books. I have some back in Calif in the garage with the few things I didn't give away ha ha. But having them here now, all around me in bookshelves that Everardo built when we got here (same as he did when we got to Playa Ventura, but we left those down there), just makes the house more comfy and warm.
I met the rest of the guy's family who care-takes the house for us. Our renters were not there- they actually went to France for 3 months but paid the rent up front for the time they are going to be gone so we're happy with that. The property is now home to 2 big dogs; a german shepard and a pitbull so we really only got to go in, see what we wanted and leave. Then we came back a few days later to load it up. I wish we coulda stayed there, maybe upstairs, but the people did not want us there, especially when they were not, and I couldn't argue with that, so we didn't. The one weird thing was- and I find this really really really weird- is that they boarded up the gate in the back fence that is access to the beach! What??? Yeah so I was told they never ever go to the beach! Yeah- I don't understand this at all. What's the point of renting there, eh? Ok there's the view...but you can get so much closer...I mean my rock is right outside that gate. So Jay's family is really nice, he lives with his wife, very young daughter, and his parents, and ...of course....like everyone there almost, they have a restaurant. The nite before we left they had us for dinner and OMG!! The best shrimp I think I ever had! It was made in a sweet & sour way...in fact I was a new recipe being tried out! There were also these small bananas cooked almost the same way and they were also soooo delicious!
Another nite we went to El Faro, our friends Gencho & Rosa for dinner and had this amazing fish called Frell. It's a warm water fish; Gencho caught it in the morning and we ate it that nite. It was the best fish I ever had! It has darker meat, not white...it doesn't taste fishy- it tastes like meat. It was awesome. Then of course another day was my all time favorite- Chela's enchiladas...to die for. I mean we ate so good for those few short days there. We stayed in a bungalow at Chela's; I remember when her husband, Gume, was building them when we lived there. They are just a small round room, with a small bathroom connected...the bathroom is a tile floor; a sink that's a beautiful bowl- like one you would put fruit in on your table, and the faucet was a huge conch shell that the water came thru. The shower was right over head, so ha ha the toilet got washed when you took a shower. The small room could just hold a standard double bed, and had mosquito netting coming down over it, and 2 small shelves to put your stuff on, one on each side of the bed. You could just walk around 3 sides of it- and to pass each other took work. The floor was plank wood, the same as the walls, and then on the outside had woven palm fronds on the sides and also as a thatched roof. It did rain 2 of the nites though, and the rain only came thru the bathroom roof...so the bedroom roof was something besides just palm fronds.....
One small surprise was a stray dog (we assume it was a stray- they have a lot of homeless dogs like all over Mexico), had just had puppies- right underneath us! We heard the tiny cries, and then found from the bathroom, which was a halfstep down, we could see the tiny pups, eyes still closed. We didn't tell anyone while we were there because they would have been moved, probly to somewhere not so safe, and maybe something much worse like....disposed of...well we actually started to tell, but heard, oh no we'll get rid of them...and then didn't say anything else....they had alot of customers camping and staying at their place so we knew they'd forget....I mean I know at some point they wuill be dealt with, but at least their eyes will be open, or maybe mama dog will move them herself. Some neighborhood kids saw her going under there and were throwing rocks at her...I actually sat outside our bungalow the day before we left with my book for a few hours, reading, but protecting her and her babies. I know it's hard in Mexico. I know people struggle to feed their families, that animals in many areas are not really seen as pets, or at least not in the sense that Americans do. (yes I know there is animal cruelty in the US, too). But not only do they not count, they don't get 'fixed", spayed or neutered and so they continue to have puppies....and yes- I don't know what happened to these puppies or their mama after we left, and it's not for me to judge or have any opinion about the state of affairs, but they were ok while we were there. Actually we fed her; she didn't seem particularly skinny and maybe she was someone's dog....but we saw her a couple of times, come out from under the bungalow and then looking for food, it seemed, on the beach. Friday nite we went to a rodeo - we saw dancing horses, but left before the bull riding (the cowboys looked like they were getting drunk, it was late, you know...) anyway- I went for a plate of food and it was big bones with alot of meat on them so I took one, wrapped in a napkin and brought it home to mama dog.
We swam in the ocean just one day...for hours though; it was glorious! But tiring; the waves bang you into shore, and always towards one side of the beach or the other, so sooner or later you would be knocked into the rocks, so you must always pull yourself back towards the middle. It is not a bay like here, it's the ocean. As one wave pulls back out from shore- with a tug/undertow that will gladly take you with it, many times the next wave is already coming and they slam into each other. It's exciting and exhilarating to be right there in the clash and how the surf flies up. I get knocked all over, sometimes "ass over tea kettle" as they say ha ha. The truth is, when we first went to the shore, I was afraid...my fear had returned, the fear I developed after being almost dragged out to sea, banged up against the rocks and luckily just cut up my knees and foot, broke my toe,....but then realized the absolute power of the ocean in a way I had never thought about it before. That was the year before we moved down there, and it happened in front of Gencho and Rosa's place, on their beach. I have a huge respect for the ocean now, since then- and after being gone for 2 years, after 2 years of only swimming in bay waters, including the year in Sonora where we were on the Sea of Cortez- again not open ocean....well the fear grabbed me- hard. But it also wore off pretty quickly; Everardo and his "don't be afraid" that he tells me in bad traffic, scary ocean...ok even in our bay when I get way out there.....Still I could not get comfortable in front of the rocks where we used to sit in pools of water and then the waves would seep thru the rocks onto us...I felt the tug and just couldn't do it. If we had stayed longer I'm sure I would have become ok with it, but we were just there a few short days. So we swam in front of Chela's; where the sandy beach is wide and the rocks off to each side. It is always tiring though, fighting the constant pull outwards and to the sides.
Afterwards we went in Chela's pool. We had also gone in the pool the first nite, after dark. The people camping there had kids and they were in the pool. One spoke a little English and so I was approached and then asked tons of questions in English & Spanish. I am always happy to interact with kids- especially around 8-12 years old. They are so open, and not afraid to ask anything ha ha!
We saw them again the afternoon of the ocean swim, in fact we saw them at the beach, but they didn't stay in too long, I think their parent's were rightly happier to have them in the pool.
The first day I was able to visit my rock for a short while, then Poppi found me and we went to Chela's. Then he left me to go with Gume for a few minutes to help with something and was gone for hours. Chela was very busy with her campers and I remembered the way I had felt isolated living there....it was like- oh yeah....why did I want to come back?? I didn't want to ask Chela to make my any food; she was so busy....so I went to the truck (we hadn't gotten a bungalow yet) and made myself a peanut butter sandwich...then decided to feel sorry for myself. Later Chela showed up but I would not let her make me any food- after all I had my pb sand.,....Then Everardo showed up and Chela made hin some fish and I napped (ok laid there still feeling sorry for myself ha ha). Poppi came back and invited me for a swim.....knew I was put out. The swim was the perfect answer. As soon as I hit the water I felt refreshed. I realized I was being silly- selfish really...and surrendered- I came over to the winning side! I looked around and remembered how grateful I was for my life, for all the fantastic and wonderful opportunities had. I hugged my husband and played ...gleefully..with the kids.
The last morning, just a couple of days later I went back to my rock. I sat out there for more than 2 hours. At first I couldn't get that...that feeling, that spiritual feeling, the serenity I found there, it was the place I really learned to ask for guidance. So instead, I watched these tiny crabs scurrying over the rocks. Then bigger ones ventured forth and they were clearly in charge; the smaller ones got out of the way. The big ones challenged other big ones. (Oh and I by "big" I still mean maybe the size of the palm of my hand). I saw that they could jump from the side of a rock to the side or top of another. Waves would hit, wash over them, but wouldn't wash them away...they have some kind of sticky stuff on the bottom of their many little feeties. I started then to watch the waves...some further out, hitting some rocks out there, some coming in to me. I moved much closer to the edge;....the first day I sat back aways....I started talking to the universe. To the fresh air, to the wind, to the water, to the rocks...to the sun. To my higher power- which is the universe and all of it's elements. I talked about how I used to feel there, how I asked for guidance, how I felt when I moved away. Unsure, exhausted, isolated...but also elated, full of faith....looking forward. Can you be unsure and faithful at the same time...yeah apparently so....but in different ways...sure about one thing, unsure about another....knowing what's wrong but having to have faith about what's right.
I kept on talking, and I don't know when it changed, but it did. I felt warmed by the sun, tickled by the breeze, overjoyed at the sight of the waves, my spirituality was back. But what I also knew in one moment was, that it never left me. That I was receiving the same gifts in my new surroundings, that the way I feel when I exercise on the beach, or sit with my coffee and look out at the bay....once I discovered the gifts of spirituality, I got to keep them, I just needed to remember. So I was not looking for closure, there was no closure. I love Playa Ventura. I love the beach, the waves, the air, the people, my friends....and the one friend who lives in the states, the woman who turned me on to Playa Ventura in the first place, my resentments around her, are gone. For her, now I have only compassion. I am sorry she is afraid to live in that beautiful place, that she is afraid of Mexico. I am sorry about how she acts to make herself feel better. No, she was my friend, and in my heart she is again. I will never trust her again, but I should not be trusting everyone so much- not when there is such a difference between cultures. There is unconditional love, but there is also behaving in a reasonable way for your circumstance, your culture, your set of beliefs. Not sure I am articulating this correctly, I barely understand it myself. And I'm also not sure that my resentment will not return. But at least as far as her family members are concerned, the ones I was and am friends with..it's all good with them. I hope to see them all again- maybe next year for Rosa & Gencho's 25 anniversary.
We ended up meeting a guy there from a larger nearby city who is a real estate guy. I emailed him some pictures of our house there and Everardo talked to him about price, etc. Maybe it will (finally) sell...sometime. We will see, Hmmm it seems there will be at least one more post about my trip because I am done for now...want to think about this whole trust/culture thing.....did I say the trip was awesome...it was. I'm so happy we went. Ok more later. Viva
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