Finishing my story of the trip...and more...

Let me finish up talking about the trip. I'm still not done thinking about the emotions that came up for me, surprisingly not about what I thought....but then that's what happens right? When I stay open to possibilities I am often pleasantly surprised by what I end up thinking about, or what I'm invited by the universe to consider,  know what I mean? I knew I missing something, and I thought it was closure....but it wasn't. I was fine with my friends. When I went into my house, I remembered why I loved it, but no longer had any desire to live there. The same thing kind of happened when I went to Calif last June. I mean, I still want to go back to northen Calif at some point, but it does not need to be Petaluma. I was a visitor. Besides my daughters, I was a visitor. And unless something (I don't know what) changes in a big way (oh- maybe winning the lottery-which-knowing me is not that out there ha ha), but barring something like that, I am never going to be able to afford to live in my house again....well unless I get a full time job- or a good paying part time ha ha. I love that little house, but I'm pretty much ok with not living there. Further north...I would not too far from my daughters- not more than a day away, right? But that covers alot of territory...and to live in the Redwoods, by a river, or at least a creek, or close to the ocean- yes there has to be water....but after living in Mexico, I just know there's so many things I can do without. Of course in northern Cal we will for sure need hot water!! (which we do have now here in Baja)

As always I got way off topic! Hmmm well I guess it's because I'm thinking about letting go of resentments. That the only two I really have are both about other people- not me. One is the guy who shot my daughter. He's in prison, my daughter is fine, justice has been served. And yet.....I cannot forgive him. I know forgiveness is not about him- it's about me. It's about letting negative thoughts out of my head. Forgiveness does not mean that I think what he did is ok- on any level. It's just me letting go. Whether or not I forgive him does not change him in any way- does not affect him in any way. The ONLY person affected is me. And maybe anyone I interact with because I would have further reduced negativity in my life. Pretty convincing eh? Yep in my head...not in my gut/heart yet. While in Playa Ventura one of the books I brought back is by the Dali Lama and it's called "The Wisdom of Forgiveness"....I never finished reading it...just wasn't ready...but maybe I'm getting ready. Ok- the other person, well it's so much less than what I just wrote about- that the resentment is really really gone! ha ha!! It was my friend I was referring to in my previous post. The woman who had been my close friend and actually introduced me to Playa Ventura in the first place. She opened her home to me by inviting me to go stay in it down there, which I did, then bought my house. (I actually bought it with my ex husband, but even after splitting up we thought we'd keep it for a vacation house and use it at different times, but later he decided that wasn't such a good idea and I bought him out). The woman, and I had a falling out, but we got over it....except except except....she said some pretty horrible stuff about my husband- my current husband- accused him of some things and she was way of base- really wrong. Although she apologized to me, she did not apologize for her comments regarding him. This was a huge problem for me. But you know what? I'm over it. She and my husband will never be friends. They may not even ever see each other again. But they are both adults. My husband can take care of himself. I am over that one. Ahhh good.

So....we had an amazing wonderful time in Playa Ventura. We left too soon I thought - we were supposed to stay one more day. Poppi bought some just caught lobster and we were gonna eat it with Gume and Chela; we put it in their fridge. We were waiting to talk to/meet with the guy who was going to do the formal measurements of our property and associated paperwork, and turned out he had done it for other people there, including our friends, and the guy taking care of our house (that's where we got his name), but knowing everyone was using him made me feel a little better. He had actually been there a few days before, and we had been supposed to meet with him, but we were broke down in Patzcuro and missed him. Everardo tried to call him on Thurs and Friday, but got no answer. We decided to wait until Monday; we were prepared to stay all the next week, in fact there was going to be a fair the next weekend. And then on Saturday we got a message that the guy was trying to get ahold of us. So we drove out the spit, the other side of town where sometimes you could get cell service, and called him. We had talked on the way out there and decided maybe Poppi would drive the 4 or 5 hours to Chilpancingo where the guy was, but he surprised us by saying he was coming the next day- Sunday!! He was going leave at 5am and meet us at 9am. There was also another client waiting to see him, so he was gonna make some money....so maybe not that much of a surprise- for Mexico. So he came. Our business, at least what we needed to be present for, needed to sign, ect was concluded. Poppi was worried about the truck and wanted to go back to the guy outside Morelia and have him do something on it- but for free, since he didn't fix the other thing we paid him for. So we left Playa Ventura at the crack of dawn on Monday. It was raining and I think rained all day there, so I guess it wouldn't have been great- NO I'm lying!! Of course it would have been great- we would have eaten lobster!!! On Sunday afternoon we visited Jay and his family- the guy who care takes the house, then we walked over to Gencho and Rosa's to sit with them for a while and say good bye. I do love Rosa- she is like a sister to me - we always talked even though she doesn't speak English and when we were there my Spanish sucked. I remember when she told me all about how her husband pursued her...some of it was pretty funny with him waiting outside her house in the pouring rain....I love him too. After that we went to Chela and Gume, finally all their customers left- although that's when we met the real estate guy- from Chilpancingo like the other guy.....Did I say the electricity was off all day Sunday? So besides no cell service- well that's always, now the land lines didn't work plus the lights...etc. Sorta sucks for a restaurant...fridge, blender....but very normal to being going out for the day down there ha ha. It came back on in late afternoon. Since it rained all day Monday who knows if they had electricity. I was disappointed anyway because finally Chela would have some free time, but as Everardo said- she'd feel obligated to be there for us when probly she needed to sleep ha ha. They stayed up all nite Sat nite at the wedding we all went to...Rosa & Gencho stayed up all nite as well, then both families had customers who had either camped or stayed in their bungalows and wanted to be fed and other services all day Sunday. So, I let myself be convinced it was time to go.

We drove all the way to Urapan....we went home a different way...still on free roads, so instead of going to Patzcuro we went more north and west and went to Urapan. Oh the mechanic in Morelia you ask?? Yeah I asked, too. Well the truck seemed to be running so well, he decided not to go back to Morelia, but to just head home....the next morning we drove to Puerto Vallarta where a friend of ours, from Russia, was staying for a week with her sister who was visiting her from Russia. This is the route we took when we had the amazing mountain breakfast I wrote about. That was the highlight of that day....since after that is when we chose the crazy million curves road. In the end we didn't get to Puerto Vallarta until dark- of course...but we contacted our friend and seeing her the next day was really important- she was going thru a crisis and I had told her if by any chance we were any where near there when they were that we would see her, but I could not promise. She had confided in me some terrible problems she was having with her husband, a man both Everardo and I knew and the fact we were actually able to see her really meant alot to her and made me feel better about leaving Playa Ventura so soon.

They were staying in a resort/spa type place- and oh yeah I gotta remember to go onto Yelp and give it a horrible review. The weird thing about a place like that is you could be anywhere in the world and never venture outside of it. They had stores, pools, beach, restaurants, gyms, waterslides, boating, surfing, everything. It was immense! And they were not the only one; once we went thru the first gates, there were a bunch of high end hotels out there. It had been a big gov't built housing community, and they all got "moved" somewhere else. I mean you would never see Mexico much less experience it...I don't know- is that what Club med is like? Or used to be like, I never hear anything about it anymore. Oh and it was a timeshare...couple of guys wanted to show us...in fact on the malecon (boardwalk) in Puerto Vallarta a guy wanted to give us free everything and Poppi started talking to him, and I was laughing because the guy would say how we just had to listen to this "small presentation" ha ha ha been there done that before! Ok so we get there finally, and have to get green wrist bands and give over Everardo's dr lic after we park in the special lot. Then we walk to the reception building and she wants us to fill out another paper, and we were just visiting a hotel guest. I put a fake phone number and email- yeah they were "required"! Really?? Then she gives us an orange wrist band and I burst out laughing- another wrist band?? She tells us how now we can use all the facilities all day. Uh ok. She calls our friend who comes down, then we didn't realize what she was doing and she goes to another desk- the members desk not the reception desk, and she's "registering" us....and PAYS $25 EACH for us!! I tried to stop her! I told the guy we were already registered and showed him my orange band- which he got all hot under the collar about and asked how we got them! Telephone calls happened- I saw our little paperwork ha ha. Our friend insisted she didn't care about the money....ok so we have a nice time...they made us some nice appetizers.....Russian style, then we went out for a walk to see the grounds. We didn't use any of the facilities ha ha. When we walked out the front to take some pictures, the parking guy told us not to take off our wrist bands ha ha. So Everardo starts talking to him and he turns out to be the head of security and is really pissed off when he finds out our friend paid the $50!! He says he's investigating the staff for stealing money (embezzling basically) and stomps off to get her money back. We take some nice photos...in front of a waterfall- stuff like that, and go back to their room for a yummy meal of mahi mahi. We leave to go back to our hotel about 5pm, and stop by reception to give back our orange bands, and they ask us for our key cards...what? What key cards? (We don't got no stinkin key cards!!) The woman insists we do- I ask her- what would we keep them for? Why would we want them? Those cards get reprogrammed all the time- and these didn't even open any doors- apparently they were to give the towell lady if we went swimming....which we did not. I reminded her about laughing about the different colored wrist bands...and she said yes, and then I gave you the cards. Her boss was there and she says- see? She has no more cards! I said- what does that have to do with us?? Then she and Everardo started speaking in Spanish and I could tell my husband who rarely gets mad, was getting mad. So finally we hug our friend and walk outside. The boss woman runs outside to show us the little paper book they put key cards in and asks if we reconize it! ha ha we laugh in her face. Then she gets mad and Poppi gets good and mad. She says our friend will be charged for the cards- $5 each! He tell her he will call the Mexico equivalent of the Better Business Bureau...he says they are a big business bullying people and stealing their money...she got very upset. We walked away. We found out the other day they did try to charge our friend that damn $5 each for those fucking cards! She argued with them and then they finally did not...but still!! I will go online and give them a shitty review. We saw people wearing all different color wrist bands and being asked questions at every turn...how awful!
But we had a really good time with her and she was quite touched that we came to her. She is our friend- she doesn't have alot of friends in the US and was pretty intimidated, but she is also a string woman, and such a good person! I love her very much. We were so happy she had her sister with her for moral support; I think she's still with her in California for now. I told my older daughter about her and she will also make herself available for moral support, for friendship, to help her in anyway- if she needs any social services, things like that. So I'm so glad we made the trip.

So we stayed 2 days in Puerto Vallarta and left for Mazatlan and stayed one nite. We got there mid day and so went down to the beach and ate seafood in a little place right on the sand. They have these golf cart type taxis and we took one to sight see a little and then...we went to the movies! We saw The Judge and it was a great movie- Robert Duvall & Robert Downey Jr....we came out and caught another golf cart taxi and went to the malecon where people were hanging out and vendors were still selling their wares. Oh I forgot- in Puerto Vallarta I bought a great hat- kind of a cowboy hat...for the sun and it was the only kind with the strap for under your chin- which I need here..and as it turns out I really like it- as always- if I ever figure out the photos you will see it here ha ha. I also got a wide purple stripe dyed into my hair! They said it will last a month, so we'll see, I really like it- always wanted to do it. In Michocan we both bought leather sandals and I got a small leather (purple of course) wallet and a beautiful scarf. Ok so we walked in Matazlan and then went back to the hotel, which was right across the street from the beach. And if it wasn't for the guys who got drunk around the pool right next to our side of the building...and they drank it seemed like all nite!, if it wasn't for them it would have been perfect...oh and it was cheap! The next morning I could hardly wake up and went right back to sleep in the truck.

But we drove and came into Nayarit and no wonder they call it the Nayarit Riviera! It is so beautiful. The roads wind thru the most beautiful trees and plants and water and hills, so many shades of green, it was just breathtaking. At some point we finally overlapped on our trip- because we got on a road to Hermosillo. Got there after dark...of course....but we had driven taking our time; it was so pretty and we stayed off the toll roads. Now it was Friday nite...a long time since we left Playa Ventura. We got up early after having dinner in the hotel and hitting the sack early... and drove all the way home....got here about 6pm. Hermosillo is in the Sonoran desert so it was the drive I hate- across Sonora and then into Baja where first it's desert and then it's the Rumarosa winding roads over the mountain. I hate all of it. We saw sooooo many checkpoints, mostly for trucks; there were a couple of places where semi trucks, with 2 trailers each, were lines up for at least 5 miles, maybe more.

So it was quite an adventure. So many things happened! Mostly good....traveling the free roads was very cool, we saw soooo much more of Mexico! Mexico is so diverse, in Sinaloa you call your buddy "Compa" for companero... the word for dragonfly is chambuleke in Playa Ventura, Guerrero, but libeilula in Yucatan. Different ways of cooking different meats, different coffee, clothes...etc. We've been all over the place in Mexico and this time was at least as fun, rewarding, exciting, interesting, as last time and the time before that. Did I say....VIVA! 

Playa Ventura, the house...the food....

Ok gonna go back to go forward....I found some notes, phrases really that I wrote the first day or two driving thru the Sonoran desert. The first is simply "chicken highway". This is what we call the highway that is one lane in each direction with a half lane on the outside of each lane. There is a dotted line down the center and the traffic can pass going in either direction...and of course at a very high rate of speed, usually posted at 110 kilometers (I think 65mph). If you are the person being passed you are supposed to move into the half lane on your right. Because it is for passing, cars pass on corners, hills, no matter how many cars are in a line.....yeah so we call it "chicken highway". You play chicken...and sometimes whether you want to or not. They had the chicken highway in a few other places, but the Sonora desert is where I really remember it. The other thing about Sonora was the checkpoints. Man- they got a lotta checkpoints. I guess because it's a border state...there were lots of truck check points as well- which I noticed on the way home. They were being stopped going north, and also coming west from Baja (I think). I don't know how anything gets anywhere on schedule/time on a truck. We were waved thru all of them except one...and that was on the way back- we took the tarp off the stuff in the back of the truck...and altho our suitcases and bags were inside, the guy merely asked me how I liked Mexico and- oh wait, he might have picked up the closest thing which was Everardo's blue backpack that had some dirty teeshirts in it ha ha.

Oh yeah- the first time we were stopped, and it was the first day in Sonora, we were asked for the truck's registration, which we couldn't find! The guy said don't worry, but you should find it because the next guy might be more strict. (all in Spanish of course). We did find it later...I went thru every piece of paper in the truck while we were driving....but nobody ever asked us for it again. Still better to have it.

So, day 2 drove thru Guaymus and Obregon (Sonora). Ha ha Guaymus (sounds like Why-muss), and we were yelling "Why-muss Why-muss" and laughing. Anyway it smelled like fish! Obregon we saw these huge gray birds; they might have been some kind of heron but with almost bushy wings. Day 3 as we crossed into Sinaloa we got a speeding ticket......damn. But- we actually were speeding...so paid it the day we got back. Anyway we watched on the way home and saw cops with radar guns - but only in Sinaloa...weird eh? In Sinaloa we passed fields of vegetables being grown and saw the mountains in the distance.....These mountains are called "Esptinozo de Diablo", "Spine of the Devil" and are supposedly a drug trafficking route. 

Day 3 we hit Nayarit, beautiful, lush....the free roads were again winding thru little towns and villages...Later when we passed into Michoacan...maybe 2 minutes after...we saw 6 truck fulls of ninja cops speed by us.....(I call the cops dressed in all black with their faces covered ninjas). After all the small towns we had been going thru I couldn't imagine where they must be going. We followed behind them and saw them exit to a town still to small to be called a city- hmmm maybe there was a special at the doughnut store??? (or oh wait is that only in the US? ha ha)

Ok, I already wrote about our wonderful time in Morelia, even the auto shop fun....so now onto Guerrero and Playa Ventura. We hit our first toll booth with students manning it instead of the regular workers. They were polite and actually asked us for less toll than was posted ha ha. Although I believe they were keeping the money to support their causes, probly to buy food and water since many of them were far from home. Later on we came across more protesters blocking the roads into/out of small towns, and they were always peaceful, holding signs and banners, and collecting coins from those of us passing thru. They always said thank you and bless you, etc. I personally am always happy to see a peaceful protest- I believe in people standing up for their rights, trying to help people to become aware. I have stood on street corners holding up signs, against war, in support of family, etc. I know there has been some violence in the protests. I do not agree with that. I even wonder if maybe the violence is a little convenient....shows the students as bad....Anyway we did not see anything violent or bad.

Playa Ventura was hot and humid and beautiful and wonderful. And I left knowing it's an amazing place for a vacation....but I have no wish to live there again. Part of me went there looking for something, closure, or that I missed something...or...well I don't know what. Our physical reason for the trip was to check on the house we own down there, and to get some documents taken care of with regards to it. Oh and to get my books (yippeee) and at least one piece of furniture...a sort of secretary desk antique thing. We got those things, plus this blanket I really wanted- I may have written about it before....used to keep warm in the Mexico City airport when having to stay overnite there waiting for a connecting flight. It was just a couple of cardboard boxes of books...but they're mine, some I've had a long time...some I haven't read, at least one was a gift from my brother....I just love my books. I have some back in Calif in the garage with the few things I didn't give away ha ha. But having them here now, all around me in bookshelves that Everardo built when we got here (same as he did when we got to Playa Ventura, but we left those down there), just makes the house more comfy and warm.

I met the rest of the guy's family who care-takes the house for us. Our renters were not there- they actually went to France for 3 months but paid the rent up front for the time they are going to be gone so we're happy with that. The property is now home to 2 big dogs; a german shepard and a pitbull so we really only got to go in, see what we wanted and leave. Then we came back a few days later to load it up. I wish we coulda stayed there, maybe upstairs, but the people did not want us there, especially when they were not, and I couldn't argue with that, so we didn't. The one weird thing was- and I find this really really really weird- is that they boarded up the gate in the back fence that is access to the beach! What??? Yeah so I was told they never ever go to the beach! Yeah- I don't understand this at all. What's the point of renting there, eh? Ok there's the view...but you can get so much closer...I mean my rock is right outside that gate. So Jay's family is really nice, he lives with his wife, very young daughter, and his parents, and ...of course....like everyone there almost, they have a restaurant. The nite before we left they had us for dinner and OMG!! The best shrimp I think I ever had! It was made in a sweet & sour way...in fact I was a new recipe being tried out! There were also these small bananas cooked almost the same way and they were also soooo delicious!

Another nite we went to El Faro, our friends Gencho & Rosa for dinner and had this amazing fish called Frell. It's a warm water fish; Gencho caught it in the morning and we ate it that nite. It was the best fish I ever had! It has darker meat, not white...it doesn't taste fishy- it tastes like meat. It was awesome. Then of course another day was my all time favorite- Chela's enchiladas...to die for. I mean we ate so good for those few short days there. We stayed in a bungalow at Chela's; I remember when her husband, Gume, was building them when we lived there. They are just a small round room, with a small bathroom connected...the bathroom is a tile floor; a sink that's a beautiful bowl- like one you would put fruit in on your table, and the faucet was a huge conch shell that the water came thru. The shower was right over head, so ha ha the toilet got washed when you took a shower. The small room could just hold a standard double bed, and had mosquito netting coming down over it, and 2 small shelves to put your stuff on, one on each side of the bed. You could just walk around 3 sides of it- and to pass each other took work. The floor was plank wood, the same as the walls, and then on the outside had woven palm fronds on the sides and also as a thatched roof. It did rain 2 of the nites though, and the rain only came thru the bathroom roof...so the bedroom roof was something besides just palm fronds.....

One small surprise was a stray dog (we assume it was a stray- they have a lot of homeless dogs like all over Mexico), had just had puppies- right underneath us! We heard the tiny cries, and then found from the bathroom, which was a halfstep down, we could see the tiny pups, eyes still closed. We didn't tell anyone while we were there because they would have been moved, probly to somewhere not so safe, and maybe something much worse like....disposed of...well we actually started to tell, but heard, oh no we'll get rid of them...and then didn't say anything else....they had alot of customers camping and staying at their place so we knew they'd forget....I mean I know at some point they wuill be dealt with, but at least their eyes will be open, or maybe mama dog will move them herself. Some neighborhood kids saw her going under there and were throwing rocks at her...I actually sat outside our bungalow the day before we left with my book for a few hours, reading, but protecting her and her babies. I know it's hard in Mexico. I know people struggle to feed their families, that animals in many areas are not really seen as pets, or at least not in the sense that Americans do. (yes I know there is animal cruelty in the US, too). But not only do they not count, they don't get 'fixed", spayed or neutered and so they continue to have puppies....and yes- I don't know what happened to these puppies or their mama after we left, and it's not for me to judge or have any opinion about the state of affairs, but they were ok while we were there. Actually we fed her; she didn't seem particularly skinny and maybe she was someone's dog....but we saw her a couple of times, come out from under the bungalow and then looking for food, it seemed, on the beach. Friday nite we went to a rodeo - we saw dancing horses, but left before the bull riding (the cowboys looked like they were getting drunk, it was late, you know...) anyway- I went for a plate of food and it was big bones with alot of meat on them so I took one, wrapped in a napkin and brought it home to mama dog.

We swam in the ocean just one day...for hours though; it was glorious! But tiring; the waves bang you into shore, and always towards one side of the beach or the other, so sooner or later you would be knocked into the rocks, so you must always pull yourself back towards the middle. It is not a bay like here, it's the ocean. As one wave pulls back out from shore- with a tug/undertow that will gladly take you with it, many times the next wave is already coming and they slam into each other. It's exciting and exhilarating to be right there in the clash and how the surf flies up. I get knocked all over, sometimes "ass over tea kettle" as they say ha ha. The truth is, when we first went to the shore, I was afraid...my fear had returned, the fear I developed after being almost dragged out to sea, banged up against the rocks and luckily just cut up my knees and foot, broke my toe,....but then realized the absolute power of the ocean in a way I had never thought about it before. That was the year before we moved down there, and it happened in front of Gencho and Rosa's place, on their beach. I have a huge respect for the ocean now, since then- and after being gone for 2 years, after 2 years of only swimming in bay waters, including the year in Sonora where we were on the Sea of Cortez- again not open ocean....well the fear grabbed me- hard. But it also wore off pretty quickly; Everardo and his "don't be afraid" that he tells me in bad traffic, scary ocean...ok even in our bay when I get way out there.....Still I could not get comfortable in front of the rocks where we used to sit in pools of water and then the waves would seep thru the rocks onto us...I felt the tug and just couldn't do it. If we had stayed longer I'm sure I would have become ok with it, but we were just there a few short days. So we swam in front of Chela's; where the sandy beach is wide and the rocks off to each side. It is always tiring though, fighting the constant pull outwards and to the sides.

Afterwards we went in Chela's pool. We had also gone in the pool the first nite, after dark. The people camping there had kids and they were in the pool. One spoke a little English and so I was approached and then asked tons of questions in English & Spanish. I am always happy to interact with kids- especially around 8-12 years old. They are so open, and not afraid to ask anything ha ha!
We saw them again the afternoon of the ocean swim, in fact we saw them at the beach, but they didn't stay in too long, I think their parent's were rightly happier to have them in the pool.

The first day I was able to visit my rock for a short while, then Poppi found me and we went to Chela's. Then he left me to go with Gume for a few minutes to help with something and was gone for hours. Chela was very busy with her campers and I remembered the way I had felt isolated living there....it was like- oh yeah....why did I want to come back?? I didn't want to ask Chela to make my any food; she was so busy....so I went to the truck (we hadn't gotten a bungalow yet) and made myself a peanut butter sandwich...then decided to feel sorry for myself. Later Chela showed up but I would not let her make me any food- after all I had my pb sand.,....Then Everardo showed up and Chela made hin some fish and I napped (ok laid there still feeling sorry for myself ha ha). Poppi came back and invited me for a swim.....knew I was put out. The swim was the perfect answer. As soon as I hit the water I felt refreshed. I realized I was being silly- selfish really...and surrendered- I came over to the winning side! I looked around and remembered how grateful I was for my life, for all the fantastic and wonderful opportunities had. I hugged my husband and played ...gleefully..with the kids.

The last morning, just a couple of days later I went back to my rock. I sat out there for more than 2 hours. At first I couldn't get that...that feeling, that spiritual feeling, the serenity I found there, it was the place I really learned to ask for guidance. So instead, I watched these tiny crabs scurrying over the rocks. Then bigger ones ventured forth and they were clearly in charge; the smaller ones got out of the way. The big ones challenged other big ones. (Oh and I by "big" I still mean maybe the size of the palm of my hand). I saw that they could jump from the side of a rock to the side or top of another. Waves would hit, wash over them, but wouldn't wash them away...they have some kind of sticky stuff on the bottom of their many little feeties. I started then to watch the waves...some further out, hitting some rocks out there, some coming in to me. I moved much closer to the edge;....the first day I sat back aways....I started talking to the universe. To the fresh air, to the wind, to the water, to the rocks...to the sun. To my higher power- which is the universe and all of it's elements. I talked about how I used to feel there, how I asked for guidance, how I felt when I moved away. Unsure, exhausted, isolated...but also elated, full of faith....looking forward. Can you be unsure and faithful at the same time...yeah apparently so....but in different ways...sure about one thing, unsure about another....knowing what's wrong but having to have faith about what's right.

I kept on talking, and I don't know when it changed, but it did. I felt warmed by the sun, tickled by the breeze, overjoyed at the sight of the waves, my spirituality was back. But what I also knew in one moment was, that it never left me. That I was receiving the same gifts in my new surroundings, that the way I feel when I exercise on the beach, or sit with my coffee and look out at the bay....once I discovered the gifts of spirituality, I got to keep them, I just needed to remember. So I was not looking for closure, there was no closure. I love Playa Ventura. I love the beach, the waves, the air, the people, my friends....and the one friend who lives in the states, the woman who turned me on to Playa Ventura in the first place, my resentments around her, are gone. For her, now I have only compassion. I am sorry she is afraid to live in that beautiful place, that she is afraid of Mexico. I am sorry about how she acts to make herself feel better. No, she was my friend, and in my heart she is again. I will never trust her again, but I should not be trusting everyone so much- not when there is such a difference between cultures. There is unconditional love, but there is also behaving in a reasonable way for your circumstance, your culture, your set of beliefs. Not sure I am articulating this correctly, I barely understand it myself. And I'm also not sure that my resentment will not return. But at least as far as her family members are concerned, the ones I was and am friends with..it's all good with them. I hope to see them all again- maybe next year for Rosa & Gencho's 25 anniversary.

We ended up meeting a guy there from a larger nearby city who is a real estate guy. I emailed him some pictures of our house there and Everardo talked to him about price, etc. Maybe it will (finally) sell...sometime. We will see, Hmmm it seems there will be at least one more post about my trip because I am done for now...want to think about this whole trust/culture thing.....did I say the trip was awesome...it was. I'm so happy we went. Ok more later. Viva

More about the trip....or less

Stayed home all day today (Saturday) waiting for the Dish TV guy to come and he never showed up! Hmmm just like in the United States ha ha!

Our time in Morelia was great! Such a beautiful city. The population is almost 700,000 and it's in the mountains at about 6000 feet. Other info:

 The heart of the historic center is the Cathedral and its surrounding plazas: the Plaza de Armas, also known as the Plaza de los Mártires, the Juárez Plaza and the Melchor Ocampo Plaza. The largest plaza is the Plaza de Armas, which has been remodeled several times since it was designed in the 16th century. The first church on the Cathedral site was built in 1577, which was a modest structure of adobe and wood. Many years later, this structure would be almost completely destroyed by a fire.^[2] Originally, the Cathedral of Michoacán was in Pátzcuaro in a church that now is the Basilica of Nuestra Señora de la Salud. When cathedral status was moved from there to Valladolid in 1580, the city became the civil, religious and cultural capital of the territory

The surrounding areas of the city are forests and very beautiful. It's funny- in the cities, Mexico is sooo crowded, but out in the country there is just so much open land. At first I thought it was just the deserts- of course, who wants to live in the hot desert and what about water, etc? But in the state of Guerrero, which is pretty tropical, at least on the west side (don't know about the eastern borders of the state), but when we would drive to a bigger city to the south to shop (which was an hour's drive instead of 2 hours to the north to Acapulco), we also drove thru mountains and there again was so much open land. Anyway although we were in a hotel in the central historic district, we drove all over the place with Pablo (Everardo's brother), and it is a crowded city. Always lots of traffic. Really nice areas, beat up areas, poor areas...yeah lots of poor areas. It's like Mexico has rich people and poor people and not too much inbetween. I mean the people who have jobs and houses, by US standards  thinkstill have to be labeled poor. People do have houses- but what kind of shape are they in? Many times a person or a family starts with one cement square room. Then when they can, they add another room...maybe a second story. The kitchen or bathroom may start out outside and later become an inside room. They may or may not have electricity. Then there's the "infovit" houses; the tiny houses the government builds and helps people to buy. I'm not sure what the criteria is, but you can make the first "down payment", and then the payments come out of your paycheck. When these houses get built in huge complexes they are harder to add on to, but usually start out better equipped. We actually looked in a few when we first came north to Sonora and were looking for places to rent...but they are so small, double beds take up entire bedrooms....all the rooms are small. Now, for someone with no home and no prospects....small is SO much better than nothing. We also looked at some over here in Baja; they were like one step up, a little bigger, more rooms, but still tiny- might have worked for us if they had had yards or were close to an open space for Sam. As it turned out we were lucky, so lucky to find this tiny mobile home right on the beach. Our bed is queen size- a king would not fit....well anyone reading this knows what a small trailer is like. But our dogs run free, and the ocean is out my kitchen door window. Wow- I really get off track don't I? ha ha

I took so many pictures in Morelia- lots of us, sitting in a sidewalk cafe, looking at the Day of the Dead alters, in our hotel rooms, standing in little plazas...eating all kinds of yummy stuff! But I also took tons of pictures of just people. People are so interesting...people walking down the sidewalk, shopping, picking up their kids at school, sitting near us in outside eateries.....And so many types, very modern...that would be young people mostly, then very traditionally dressed, and everything in between, like any huge metropolitan city. Pablo used to be a traffic cop in the city and is now retired. He doesn't need the money but works in the parking lot of one of the big stores, directing cars, helping people with their groceries. I think it's a tips job- meaning your pay is what customers give you. Almost all of the stores do not pay their baggers; it's all tips. In Costco I think they might pay them, but not the guys who work in the parking lot, and actually Costco is the only store I've seen where you don't tip the baggers. Anyway Pablo was able to take as much time as he wanted to spend with us, and he took us to a couple of "hole in the wall" places to eat- which are always the best, and we got to meet his son and other daughter- ok well I got to meet them- Everardo already knew them.

So one day we met up with Pablo and his 2 daughters and went to Patzcuro for a fair they were having for Day of the Dead. It was like a country fair, tons of food and things for sale- not rides or anything. There was a speech by the town's mayor I think, but mostly booths and vendors. I got my face painted like a skeleton and kept it all day; scared some little kids ha ha, but back in Morelia there were other people walking in the streets with their faces painted and some in full costume. It was a nice day. And a couple of days later when the truck broke down outside Patzcuro is made it a little more comfortable than finding ourselves stuck in a strange place.

We left Morelia on Monday morning early, but went to a auto parts store and then a mechanic at the edge of town in the direction we were going to have this part put on. Poppi was sure this was the reason the truck was starting not to run very well.....hmmm turned out we were there for hours! Until mid afternoon, and then we were finally on the road...drove for about 20 minutes down the highway towards Patzcuro....and we broke down....yeah that wasn't what was wrong after all....I had finished a book, started a journal so I could write in this blog...snacked and napped. There was a huge pitbull straining at a barred window near the truck and Everardo warned me not to go near him. I could see this dog was all wiggly when I talked to her...but I stayed away. Sometimes a dog is fine until you go into their space, their car, yard, etc. Sam was like that in Petaluma with strangers- if he came out the gate onto the sidewalk he was fine....but if YOU came in thru the gate he charged at you growling. Now he never bit anybody...but ha ha we had to move our mailbox off the porch and onto the house wall along the driveway because he hated the mailman, and then by extension it seemed...anbody in a uniform...like the UPS guy, the Fed X guy....cops...Well at the end of the day, when Everardo was test driving the truck (which as it turns out was not long enough for it to really warm up and then crap out), the guy let the dog out and she was sweet as a bug. All wiggly and happy to get some lovin'.

So that's how we ended up in Patzcuro...and we pulled off the side of the highway and tried to limp to a mechanic shop....waited at a train track for the train to pass, and it dies. But the very first person to drive by is a family in a truck and they stop and then offer to tow us to a shop!! Ha ha the rope was kinda short and I just kept singing that "happy happy happy" song (the one that's a utube video on facebook by that rapper Pharrel- who I knew of from that show the Voice ha ha...I had played the video and like it so much I added it to my beach exercise music because I really jumped around to it...so it helped when I was nervous being towed by this short rope on this dirt road in a strange town...) Well that mechanic wasn't there- ..."he'll be back in 40 minutes.." Yeah right- translation maybe back today, or tomorrow....or next week, or...what mechanic? ha ha. Well the truck, after cooling down, started again, and Pablo showed up as well. He had tortas (sandwiches) for us..and after we got to a small gas station/little store square, Pablo and Everardo went to find a mechanic and I stayed with the truck and all our stuff...I only tell this part of the story because Pablo neglected to tell me about the jalapenos on the tortas....aarrgghh that's hot....however I found out why Mexicans eat lots of tortillas (I think)...the bread cooled down my mouth- the water didn't help but the bread did, so I learned an important lesson. ha ha Ok we found a mechanic who had a yard to keep the truck secure overnite and found a motel close by. Thanked Pablo for ALL his help- he is the best brother-in-law ever!...and sent him home. The next day they thought they had it figured out....but no so we had to stay another nite. But....

The cool thing was, we took a cab down to the waterfront- there's a huge lake in Patzcuro, and it has an island in the middle of it called Janitco (spelling). People live on this small island and it's basically a hill with houses on it and a gigantic statute on the top. There are stairs all over the place, and houses on different levels, and lots and lots of tiny shops to explore. We ate at a little restaurant, Poppi had a big fish....but I had chicken,,,why didn't I have local fish? Don't remember now....and we hiked up to the top..actually part way on a winding path along the outside of the town so we were looking at the water, and then to come down we came down stairs and steps and stairs and steps....looked in the shops, chatted with people....and I took lots of photos of course. So if the truck hadn't broken down we wouldn't have had this side adventure, so it was ok. The next morning we picked up the truck and we were off....and made it all the way to Acapulco.

Ok this was my mistake. We were heading for Zijuantenjo, but got there so early in the day that I voted to keep going to Acapulco. Did I mention that I hate getting into strange cities after dark? Especially congested places like Acapulco!! We got there after dark and decided to head for the hotels we knew were by the airport. We missed the turn to take us around the center of the city, and so got stuck in so much traffic! Ok sidenote- in Mexico when you are on a highway heading for one city and you have to go thru another....you don't really "bypass" it...you still go thru it, just maybe not thru the center, but it's still a city so congested, trafficky...and we get lost all the time! I mean there will be signs and then all of a sudden- no signs! For miles, and then maybe it's some weird little turn of some small road....we've gotten lost big time in Guadalajara twice! Ok so we trudge thru the city, dark, loud, so many cars! And then...we have to go on this road that goes along the cliffs that is always slow going anyway, but at that time of day it was horrid! Well our clutch over heated! We were not the only ones, either. By the time we hit the top we couldn't get out of second gear. Terrible end to what started out as a really nice- but long- day. Well we found a motel, and it had a really nice pool with plants all around it, low lighting, and nobody in it- right outside our room. Ah ha so things went back to lookin' pretty good! I think I floated around in that little pool for at least 2 hours. Everardo came in for a few minutes and then went off to find us some food. We ate and fell into bed.

Next morning we left for Playa Ventura, got there in the afternoon after a small detour where we found out a bridge had been washed out...but I think I'll save this story for tomorrow.....Viva!

Back from an amazing roadtrip thru Mexico!

I have been home for a week. I always do this- when I haven't written in a long time I just put it off even more because I think I have sooo much to write- to catch up on...but I think if I just start..anywhere, the words will come....So...

We left on a Monday, the 27th of Oct and drove for 12 hours to get to Hermosillo, Sonora in the middle of the Sonoran desert.

The Sonoran Desert is a North American desert which covers large parts of the Southwestern United States in Arizona and California, and of Northwestern Mexico in Sonora, Baja California and Baja California Sur. It is the hottest desert in North America, with an area of 280,000 square kilometers (110,000 sq mi). The western portion of the United States–Mexico border passes through the Sonoran Desert.

I don't like the desert, which I'm sure I have written before. I know I lived there for an entire year (ooops 11 months I mean) but I always knew I was just a couple of hours away from the Arizona border and then an airport and I could get to Calif...San Francisco. Not sure why that helped but it did. When I'm driving thru the desert I always feel like I can't breathe...like claustrophobia...same way I felt as a kid when we would drive thru the Nevada desert on our family camping vacations during the summer. (Which I loved by the way- we camped all over the northwestern states. sometimes in the desert but mostly in the woods and usually by water...lakes or rivers..) So driving for 12 hours the first day was ok with me because I wanted to get thru the desert. Of course to do that we had to drive all the 2nd day as well. I slept on and off during the trip both days. Poppi was determined to get to his destinations and so drove like a madman...making it 12 hours- ouch! Day 2 found us in Mazatlan so at least we were back at the ocean. But we got up before dawn on the third day and did it again!!! AArrgghh! I thought I had agreed to 2 long driving days and then a whole day in Mazatlan to relax and explore a little bit...but he had in his mind to to make it to Morelia as quickly as possible...and we did. I was pretty unhappy on day 3 and made my unhappiness well known...not our best day.

But....as it turned out it was a good thing. We saw Pablo, Everardo's brother Wednesday evening for dinner and they were so happy to see each other. We found a wonderful hotel in the historic city center that had inside parking. And the other thing was...well we ate good on the way down. I had made hard boiled eggs, we had bread and peanut butter, we had cheese and a huge bag of almonds. We had a bag of apples and a bag of dates. So we didn't eat a bunch a crap, no fast food, no heavy greasy crap....we drank lots of water and made lots of stops. I took tons of pictures. And another thing- really different for us as well. We took the libre roads instead of the cuotas. (Means we drove the free roads instead of the toll roads. People- including me- always say...well just stay on the cuitas and you will be fine...oh and don't drive at nite. Well we didn't drive at nite, except for a few late days where it got dark- I mean daylight savings time is over so it was dark by 6:30 or 7pm.

But the free roads were amazing! Yeah sometimes slow because you are behind a big truck or a line of big trucks, or maybe a line of old beater cars that just don't go so fast. Or the road is a mess, or under construction...or they have SO many topes (road speed bumps) that it takes you ten minutes to move thru a tiny town you coulda walked thru in ten minutes. But these roads lazily ramble thru hills and small villages. Many of these villages are barely that- because when the toll roads were built and these towns were bypassed, well it killed those towns. Nobody was stopping to buy gas, or food, or trinkets...nobody was staying in the town's one motel. So we saw so many different kinds of people, places, and things. We saw school kids everywhere! No matter how poor the town, the kids wear uniforms to school. People were smiling, some....other people looked tired, I took alot of pictures of people's faces....Mexico has so many old people, so many kids, so many in between. So many people. And food stands everywhere. Yeah we brought our own food in the truck as I wrote above- but we usually made one stop a day along a country road. I usually ate frijoles (beans)...and beans are protien and good for ya. Everardo tried whatever they said was best. I had lots of tastes of things...but most things were muy picoso (really spicy hot) ha ha. Now this is not only for the first 3 days, because really those days there was not too much to see on the free roads, but the other days....

One morning coming down a mountain very early, there were wisps of fog, gray skies, little spots of blue trying to fight for space....there was a forest on one side of us and a sweeping valley on the other. We had taken a side road some guys told us about- "turn by the big strawberry" ( it was a huge strawberry-like 3 stories tall), and this road would take us around the city coming up...Zamora I think....and it was kinda winding down this mountain..and the view was so pretty. We drove past a tiny hole in the wall stand where it looked like there was a line of clay pots, and then a couple of women wearing scarves around their heads and shoulders stirring something and possibly making tortillas....one of us remarked oh we shoulda stopped there for breakfast...and then we said- hey! So Poppi turned us around (on a scary corner- but they were all scary since you couldn't see around any of them ha ha), and we went back. Such a GREAT move! All those clay pots were filled with things like frijoles, rice, green salsa, chicarones, birria, toreznos,......and they had this coffee called Olla (Oye-ya), which has this kinda nutty taste. Poppi explained it to me, but I didn't get it ha ha....but it tasted heavenly...he said once people know about it, they always ask for it- he's right! There were 3 women, 2 of which were native Mexicans (Indians) and did not speak Spanish, the 3rd spoke Spanish, so she talked to us. My plate was eggs and beans and some fresh cheese, Everardo had the torenos and chicharones and beans. They made tortillas that were the best I think I ever tasted (usually I don't eat the tortillas just because I'm watching what I eat) We ate and ate...the women were gracious enough to let me hang over their shoulders and take pictures of them and everything. As I was watching one woman making tortillas I could hear slapping across the street. There was an old building there as well...the only 2 buildings on this mountain...anyway I thought it was an echo...ha ha it someone else inside that building must have been making tortillas...but as I write this I realize- wow those walls were paper thin! And it was cold up there on that mountain. Anyway it was a beautiful place, beautiful women, and a very beautiful experience.

Ok-so Morelia was fantastic- might be my new favorite city in Mexico! The elevation is a little over 6 thousand feet...and even that tends to give me a little headache for the first day, but it went away quick- but it might have just been 3 days of driving ha ha. We had one hotel for 2 nites and then another one for the next 3 nites. There was a wedding so the first place was booked after 2 nites. Our room was so big and so pretty...it was actually so big that the next morning I did my whole exercise dance routine on the tile floor while Everardo went to meet his brother! We were in the historic downtown so we could walk a couple of blocks and be in the big plaza...where people were walking, talking, having coffee; there were peaceful protesters marching for the missing students, there was Day of the Dead celebrations....but chatting with some people in a little sidewalk cafe, they told us that it's always that busy there- that there's always something going on. Our second hotel was really beautiful with a curving staircase lines with these beautiful tiles and a salon outside our room, for the upstairs guests, of which there were only about 6 rooms I think, and we never saw anyone up there (but did hear them coming up at nite). It was just around the corner from the first place, and we found a couple of other small plazas in that direction and went to one for breakfast the next day. On Sunday morning we went for a walk and saw that the main street (which is 2.5 lanes each way) was closed. I thought at first it was a marathon because I saw some runner going by, but then a man told us they closed it every Sunday for people to walk, skate, ride bicycles, etc. Then he told us we could rent bicycles....so we did! It was soooo fun! While riding we saw a big Day of the Dead celebration exhibit...so we turned in the bikes and walked back over there. It was the actual Day of the Dead and all the altars were so beautiful, I think I took about 500 pictures!

We spent the Friday before visiting Everardo's sister and taking flowers out to his mother's grave. We saw his nieces and his nephew and came back to her place to eat. I know he won't ever read this, so I will say....his sister's life, the struggles she must face, her life is hard. She lives in a tiny room...it's not 20 feet square....it has a bunk bed...a table and another single bed. The table is inbetween..and it's not a big table. There are some shelves and they are packed with stuff. Clothes, dishes...food. It's a room in a building that's some kind of side building of another house- that her ex inlaws and maybe her exhusband live in. 2 of her adult kids live in this room with her. I think there might be a small tv hooked up. The bathroom is out the door, across a patio and around the corner. I went and used it. Wow it was bad....a torn curtain, and an old toilet that I couldn't flush. I didn't see, but I don't think the area where the inlaws live is any better. She has a piece of land and I think she's building a house on it- but I also think this has been the plan for a few years. She has an old car that looks like she takes good care of it. His family is the horrific poverty we see in Mexico. But you know what? She is always smiling. She made us a nice meal that we all sat on the edges of the beds and shared. It was a kind of little meatball in soup and rice and salad. Really good. I only saw a hot plate but I think there's a stove outside. I was cold there, but they were not- so they were assimilated to the climate and I am not. Her children love her so much, I could see that in how sweet they are with her. The other daughter came by with her little girl who was so happy to see grandma and her aunts and uncles. I believe they all work; the son goes to university but not this semester because he said the teachers striking and now the protests for the missing students - well there was not too many days when school was happening, so he was taking the semester off.This was a tiny town, about an hour outside Morelia; Nieves had lived in Morelia and for a time in Mexico City, but she came back because she liked the small town much better. We drove another hour out to the town Everardo was born in and brought flowers, and Poppi and Nieves cleaned around her burial site, and Pablo and I talked. He has a son who died in a car accident last Feb, and he is still so sad- of course. His son was one month older than my younger daughter- not sure I would survive that. I asked him if we could visit his son's grave and we did that the next day. He and I cried together at both places....he is the sweetest man. I love both of them so much...I see they have the same sweetness as my Everardo.

When we went with Pablo, his daughter (my niece) met us there and I had not met her before (2 years ago when we were there I met Nieve's kids). All the cemeteries have so many flowers! As Poppi says- we Mexicans love our dead. The entire trip we drove by so many cemeteries, especially on the free roads...and they all had so many beautiful decorations. Well I have to go, so I will continue to tell about my trip soon- maybe tonite...viva

Woot Woot! A vacation from our vacation!

Ok so we are going on vacation in a few days! Decided to not worry about anything else....'cause really- there's always something going on in Mexico! The rainy season is getting over down there (well I think it is anyway) and we are gettin ready to go!! Of course as soon as I say- oh I can fit my stuff in a backpack...I start thinking about how long we're gonna be gone...hmmm I need shirts..shorts...well long pants cause Morelia is in the mountains....so a jacket..ha ha. Maybe a small suitcase???

Oh and ha ha I have no shoes except flip flops and workout tennis shoes. I thought I did, but when I took my hiking boots to NY...found out I don't fit in those either...and left them for my sister. I loved those red boots! But not as much as I love living on the beach where I only wear flip flops so my feet have gotten wider ha ha!! Ok tennis shoes it is!

Yeah I looked at the weather where we're going: let's see, dry...rain...hot...cold...humid....did I leave anything out? So I will of course over pack...but so what right? We're taking the truck and no dogs. Yes I feel bad about leaving them...but not gonna belabor the point- I want to enjoy the anticipation of the trip! So- we may only drive to Puerto Penasco the first day...it's about 7 hours I think, and yeah we could probly do about 5 more just to get us going.....so I'm not sure what will happen. But that's the fun of it...not knowing right? See- we have friends in Penasco....my zumba class, Deb & Rick....I really came to love them...Deb was my favorite person to sit and bullshit with....she knew everything about everybody and what was going on around town, and is so funny when she describes situations....and to me- I think everything is funny- I think life is funny, people are hilarious.....so we were good together. And my friend Pam - driving me to Phoenix the first time my daughters came to visit...again- we laughed the whole time. I haven't made a friend here like that yet....-well actually that's not entirely true. I do have a friend now, her name is Jan and I am so comfortable around her. I can totally be my irreverent self with her.

At the meditation group I go to, there's a few women I am really starting to like- but I don't know any of them very well yet; it's funny we talk about some really intimate stuff in the group, kinda like in AA where we share our thoughts & feelings....but we have a saying which I believe applies to my meditation group as well : "What you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.....Hear Hear!" But I hope to get to know a couple of them better as well. Ok back to the trip!

Well I believe the first destination is Morelia, Michocan. It will take 4 or 5 days to get there....and we'll go thru Sonora, Sinaloa, Jalisco and Nayarit. Even if we don't stop in Penasco on day 1, we still won't make it all the way thru Sonora. But I bet we'll cross all of Sinaloa in one day. Last time all I remember of Sinaloa was fields and fields of agriculture. It's funny- from the states I always thought Sinaloa was this scary place full of drug runners/cartels. What I saw looked like central Calif ha ha. Ok well in the distance...far distance was a mountain range that had some name referring to it as a drug route...but us normal people would have no reason to be there. Really in the last 2 and a half years we have been in Mexico, we  have seen nothing bad...nothing scary...just people living their lives....working...living, dreaming...lots of fiestas, lots of good food...

On this trip we will not have to look for motels that take dogs ha ha!! We won't have to hurry thru a meal to check on them, walk them....etc...and so I'm hoping to stop to take pictures....maybe walk in a tiny town....or on a busy street in a big city......We have some paperwork we decided we wanted in connection with our house down there, and we just tonite got the name of somebody down there who can help us out with that. Don't you love it when things work out? Everardo was online and then started chatting with somebody we know down there- who just went thru the same process! wow! So we said we'd see them in a couple of weeks. Yesterday Everardo found a microwave at a segunda to bring to the guy who caretakes our house....and we have a couple of little other things- a friend there who loves loves loves Skippy peanut butter...., a sccoer ball for a kid, and a hat that says Ensenada on it for my friend Chela. I hope so much that she and I see each other and are all hugs and smiles. I love her cooking, and taking a swim with her in the pool after gettng beat up by the waves at the beach.

This is the ocean- not a bay like we live in now. And I like where we are now, better. I like small waves, being able to wade out into the water and float around, for Sam & Hazel to be able to swim around us out there. Everardo is getting very serious about swimming for exercise out there, and no way he could do that in the ocean- it's just too hard, sometimes too choppy, sometimes just too dangerous, sometimes a bad undertow...I remember the days during the summer when we couldn't even go in, and had to be super careful walking along the beach from my house to Chela's, because the water- the waves crashed in sooo far that they hit the back of the beach- the wall of dirt that the houses sat on- a couple of times I had to run to escape.....yeah I got yelled at for that...But I do love that ocean down there! The water is so warm...we could swim any time day or nite. And the waves roll in, and then crash back into each other as one goes back out and another is coming in. At first that scared me, and I kept getting knocked around by them either coming or going. But I started to get the hang of it, and then it was fun to be right there when they came up against each other...I mean...it's all water, but the waves feel like entities, like arms of water crashing down- crashing into each other, fighting for the top spot. And to get pushed up in the water right when it's happening is so exciting, so forceful....you feel so.......alive! So part of the earth...more than as a person, more like a piece of nature. Sounds weird eh...guess you gotta be there. But- I also get tired out there much faster....like you're in the water less than half an hour and you're pooped out. Now of course, you go by a spot where the rocks protect you and there's room between the rocks and the beach, then you have little pools to float around in...there you can relax forever. Ok not forever...the tide changes and either there's zero water there....or it's crashing over those rocks and dragging you back into them...so you have to pay attention. It's not a place for drunks ha ha- good thing I'm not one!

The other day I was chatting with my daughter on facebook and she said she wants to sit on my rock in Playa Ventura! She has seen pictures, and we talked about it, and I've written about it, she said she feels like she's been there. She'll see it some day! With me, or maybe with her dad; I think he's been talking about taking his wife down there for a vacation. I don't care who she goes with (yeah ok I wish it's me ha ha), as long as she goes. She's like me- she wants to explore all of Mexico. There's just so much to see and hear and taste and experience, so many customs..same and different all in one...dialects, climates...so much!  I'm looking forward to going back to that qiosko (spelling)  (the town square) in Morelia and taking more photos now that I have a nicer camera. I think though when I finish this post I should go back and look at the pictures I took last time so I can make a "photo plan" for this trip. We sat and drank coffee, but maybe can walk more this time...up little side streets. I am excited to see Pablo my brother in law- my cunado...and Nieves my cunada. I think it's almost the same time of year. Will we go back to the tiny town where his mother is buried...visit her? I would love to poke around there a little more. I like to go to a place a second time....there's so much we miss the first time and so much that comes in our head and then flows right back out ha ha- well for me anyway- I get on overdrive trying to take everything in, and sometimes the beauty, sometimes the message or the lesson is in the smallest of things.

So it will be a trip of old and new. (well if you can call second time "old" so new, kinda new...& old). And we have not decided out route after Michoacan. West to Zihuatejo or south to Oaxaca? And if we choose one on the way...do we choose the other on the way back? It's gonna start in just a few days...not a couple of weeks like I thought. I'm gonna bring my laptop....but ha ha will I get to use it to write here? I don't know...so maybe I'll be able to write as things happen, as I visit, experience....breathe laugh sigh....and maybe I'll only be able to take notes and start writing in a few weeks when we get back...so see you when I see you! Nos vemos!
 

Another trip coming up....maybe....

Another trip coming up....maybe....Our plan was/is to go down to the state of Guerrero to our house on the beach in a couple of weeks or so. We have been planning to go back for 2 years now! When we first left, the plan was to come back in 3 months, pick up the rest of our stuff...assess the place a little more objectively since we left so full of emotions. I was feeling so isolated, so beat by the climate...and the bugs...really I should post the photo of how my legs looked for the entire 6 months down there...huge red splotches- did I say itchy?? Everardo was tired, tired of working on the house every day in the heat, tired of dealing with no electricity, no phone, no internet...the one thing we always had was water...ha ha it's been out twice here I think, but the electricity has not...uh oh knock wood it will go soon ha ha. He was always working on something down there; the roof, the sidewalk, the sewer, the cracked walls, the leaking roof ( and it rained off and on the entire 6 months we were there), the water coming in under the window sills....the mud pouring down the driveway into the patio- and that was the first week ha ha!

So to see it again...yeah I want to see the place I dreamed of, the place I visited and fell in love with. How I learned the hard way that a place you visit, a place where you take vacation is not necessarily the place you want to live...I got to go for my dream. I mean really! Who does that??? I wanted to live in Mexico...it had been a dream for such a long time. And I did it. And before it went kinda downhill, it was so cool....I couldn't believe it did it. The nite I left California I cried so hard- my daughters were there and they were crying. My niece and her baby were there, but I was waiting for them to leave so it was just my girls...I didn't know what I wanted to say...but something. It was so hard. To have one thing I had to give up another. My younger daughter was sure I'd never go and so was really heart broken. That was it's own messy problem since we had not been on great terms for such a long time. My older one- she knew I was going and was so sad. Honestly...ok well I have to stop here to have a little tear- I miss them both so much every single day.

Yeah ok I'm back. You know, I want my daughters to live amazing lives, I want them to have dreams and to pursue those dreams. And what....still losing my train of thought ha ha. Ok maybe this is selfish, but my daughters are both adults now, and I want to pursue my dreams as well. I love love love living in Mexico. I do know I will want to go back some day, but not right now. So- back to this trip. Ok even though Playa Ventura did not turn out to be the exact right spot- if I hadn't tried it, I wouldn't know it. What an amazing experience it was. And we laugh about all the things we did in those 6 months before we moved to the next spot. And I want my daughters to see that place, and they will know, they will understand to their cores, down deep why I chose it. It's so beautiful, so exotic, so tropical. Big iguanas sunning themselves outside our back door....helping newly hatched baby turtles make it down the beach to the ocean...that's an experience that was just so awesome- yep- I cried thru that as well ha ha! I want them to experience that. I go back to other stuff, too...the kid with the bucket of milk for sale from their just milked cow....the bread lady who always stopped for a cold drink of water at our house. The warm warm ocean ocean...drinking coconut water from the trees in my own yard.

Everardo and I have had some harsh words about this trip because it might not be the best time to go...the missing students, the mass graves...that's kinda close to us...well and more significant is that there may be no way to avoid the demonstrations and road blocks to get there. He is worried about it, and just wants us to be safe....and I understand that more than he knows. But if there's any way to go- I want to. I wouldn't say we had fights/arguments, but short words, then let it go...then apologized to each other and recognized it's about worry. But he hurt my feelings when he said...you just want to go get some old books- we're not going to put ourselves in harm's way for a bunch of fucking old books. Yes, I do want my books. But I want all the things I just talked about- I mean I want to feel them, I want to sit on my rock and feel all those experiences. Do I want to put us in danger to do it- of course not. I'm hoping that the demonstrations will have cooled everyone off a little. That in 3 or 4 weeks time that there may be some resolutions...or at least some problem solving going on. I know the problems are complex. I don't even fully understand what's happened and I don't think anybody else on the outside looking in understands either.

But some of what's going on know is as close as an hour away from our little fishing village, and like I said, how to get there without driving thru some of it? Some gov't building are targeted for demonstration/occupation in a town barely an hour away. Will there be road blocks? I read tonite that the mass graves are not those of the missing students, so where are they? I don't really want to write any more about any details or supposition around what's going on...I don't know who reads this, and my ego is not big enough to think that anybody it would matter to reads this...but I can see my stats and I do have readers here in Mexico. Alot of things happen in Mexico and everybody knows it...and nobody talks about it. For obvious reasons...get it? So on to something else.

If we leave up here in 2 or 3 weeks, and go to Michoacan to visit family..a week to get there, several days or a week of visiting....maybe a trip to Oaxaca....to Guatemala??? Time will tell.nd of course our ultimate goal is to sell this beach house. Probably someone from DF would be the most interested...I think I have said before that Playa Ventura is a vacation spot for people from Mexico City- it's close..maybe 4 hours away I think. But we have to get the word out- and we need to start thinking about how to do that. Ok right this minute might not be the perfect time, but unfortunately for Mexico the kinds of issues happening down there are not new to Mexico...and the time will be right soon enough. The town fills up to the brim over Christmas and Easter weeks with beach goers..and our house is really cool and has lots of room. It's right on the Pacific Ocean...yeah walk out the back gate onto the beach....So we shall see how it all pans out.

Ok other stuff. It was Poppi's birthday on Monday. We didn't really do anything extra special, but we decided to get him a wetsuit for his birthday present, and then our friend Tim shows up the next day and gives him 2 wetsuits! 2! One is called a farmer's suit- it looks like overalls with no sleeves, and the other has both long sleeves and legs, and fits him perfect. Based on the google research I had done in the last few days, it is just what he's looking for...a 3/2 I think it's called, and based on the water temp charts for wetsuits I looked at, that's what he needs. He swims almost every day here. He goes out into the waves, then swims parallel with the beach. Sam & Hazel usually swim with him, but sometimes they get tired and come out and run along the beach. Sam has actually gotten skinnier in the past month or two...I mean now it's very noticeable, in fact I want to feed him more cause I think he's getting too skinny. The other day I asked him if he would switch to running as it got colder and that's when he said no- he wants to keep swimming, and that he wanted a wetsuit. It was just a conversation, and I did not equate it with his birthday....until I was working out- on his birthday and it came to me- Oh! Oh! A wetsuit! Because he told me he didn't want anything, didn't need anything. In fact the nite before he said- hey I do have an idea for a birthday present, and said you promise I can have it? I said yeah of course! He said- cross your heart..yes! (uh oh I thought ha ha). Then he said I want you to get a new laptop for you! Dang him...more tears. But I said no no no no. Breakin that promise. Then the next day I thought of the wetsuit. So it turns out he got this free one, but there's a guy at the end of the spit road who usually comes on Saturday with a booth full of wetsuits and accessories, so maybe he'll want boots or gloves or a hood...we'll see. And that guy may not be the right person to buy from since in this spot everyone- and I mean the Americans charge these insane prices for everything...and I guess there's a bunch of rich retirees down here because they pay it.

Yeah don't get me started on the weird little community right here...don't speak Spanish, pay American prices, charge American prices, eat American food at their little American restaurants they run here....yeah a story for another day.

So we have a guy and his family lined up to stay here with Sam & Hazel. Sam already knows something is happening and he's getting all clingy...leaving him is gonna suck. But it's just too hard to bring them, and the plan is to fill up the back of the truck with our stuff if possible. Sam always knows when we're gonna go somewhere. And he's sore right now. The waves were a little rough last few days and he got knocked around and his hip is ache-y. So he's a little slow moving. My baby dog. Hazel is her same nutty self, but we cannot take one and not the other--they are tight now. So they will have each other and some kids to play with them. And we will come back and probly never leave them again for this long- could be as long as a month. So - keep ya posted! Viva

Like living in a campground sometimes

Well if you did not read the prior post- don't waste your time with it. Boring! The actual letter to my sister part- well she replied saying it gave her a headache to try & read, and I thought I was being so funny with all the crap I had to go thru for a phone...I think I flopped. Forgive me.

Ok moving on. Sometimes it feel like I live in a campground. I guess part of that is living in a mobile home, a small one, which I have never done before. The kitchen is tiny...the bathroom shower stall is like this plastic box ha ha, the kitchen door opens onto a driveway that contains this horrid van that has an ad on it talking about mobile windshield repair. It belongs to the guy who lives in the upstairs studio next to us...He lives above his van- well when he's there. He left for a month about 6 or 7 months ago, and has been coming back in 2 weeks since about the middle of June. His plan is to sell that van, which I have never seen run.... It is not an enclosed garage, our house is one side, the other side is a wall that's probly about 12 feet tall...not sure how tall it is, but up the 4 steps to our kitchen door, I can see over that wall. So I look out the little kitchen door window or simply open that door & look out at the ocean. When it's hot in the kitchen, especially right after my shower following my workouts, when I am making my protein shake, I open that door because there is always a cool breeze right there. I think it's the cement walls that makes it cool. The porch on the other side of the house, the sliding glass door that we use all day, where the dogs beds are, is right outside the living room, and when I get into my hammock out there, even though it's hot outside, I usually get a chill- it's just cooler anywhere that is always shady. The cool thing is- that I don't even see that crusty van anymore when I open that door- I just see the waves, the birds, any boats on the water...the sand...I see right past that old van to my paradise.

This is month 12 for us here in Baja. Month 9 in this spot...the first 3 months were in the big pink house, and not my favorite. I do remember we had some bad weather, not too much, but I know there were some cold & rainy days....but hardly any since this place....so I have hardly worn long pants or a jacket....sometimes I walk out to my beach chair in my slippers, or even my jammies, so I think that's why it feels like a campground sometimes. Not having neighbors right in front of our sliding glass door (it does not face the street), I'm not worried about what I'm wearing when I venture outside...ha ha ok the truth is I NEVER care what I'm wearing when I go outside ha ha.

But we are losing neighbors not gaining any. As I said, Bob, the guy from upstairs is coming back in 2 weeks some day. All summer there were workers fixing up the house next door, that's across from his studio- so -ok outside our sliding glass door is a gravel driveway that is for 4 houses....us and Bob and 2 places across from us. The one directly across is abandoned and apparently will never have anyone living in it. So we park the truck in their little garage, and our open trailer and our friend Tim's boat trailer are parked in the yard space right there. Then next to that house...on the beach side and across from Bob is the house that got worked on, repaired, fixed up all summer, so we had people coming and going all summer right there. We got to know the crew, a woman in charge, and 2 or 3 guys working for her...but they're gone and the place sits empty. I heard they want some crazy amount for rent...like $1800 a month...and you can find places for SO much less than that, still beach front, so who knows what will happen there. I think I wrote before about all the ejido issues around this land in this camp...and that 15 years ago, for the second time! People got evicted from here, and so walked away from their homes, and many of them sabotaged their places to make them un-inhabitable, and the house to us is one of them. Ok so now we just lost a neighbor on the other side. We had a small Alzheimer facility next to us, only about 6 or 8 clients, but as of today they are gone as well.

So it's kind of a weird scary story, maybe scary because I don't really know what the truth is....I'll just tell a little of it here. So the guy who was running it, and his father owns it, and I think another facility somewhere, anyway it seems he got into drugs and trouble. We actually knew who he was because he lived in the other camp we started at where the big pink house is. He was a little bizarre for us; you can kinda tell a druggie...and the chaos that surrounds them. We did not know his job was running this place and were surprised to see him here. Then he moved into an empty house across the regular camp road from us (not our gravel driveway). That wasn't great but we didn't interface with with him or his family except for a nod or hello when we ran into each other. So he moved away first and that was good. But the circumstances were not good. His house was "graffiti-ed " you know spray painted with threats and things...to the effect he owed money....i guess to drug dealers. I am NOT talking about drug cartel stuff! I am talking about your local drug dealers, right- so we were not worried at all, they were not interested in anyone besides the guy who owed them money. His house back at the old camp burned down...but many people think he did it himself to elicit sympathy...maybe to get out of paying back rent....so when this stuff happened to his house here, at first I was a little worried....but then the same idea came up- did he do it himself?? Some said he did, to get money from his father. I heard that if he was in trouble with the local gang...that they have much more direct ways of dealing with their problems. Ok so the guy took his family and moved away. We heard he went to the states. I think his father is Mexican, but I'm pretty sure they are from the states. Basically he's a druggie scumbag with all that includes. Ok so all that happened in about May or June, and it was a nice quiet summer with him gone. So- fast forward to last Friday nite. At 2am we were waked up by a huge fire next door!! The dogs heard something and started barking, then Everardo and the other neighbor who is still here, across the road from the Alzheimer place both ran outside...Everardo call the police & fire dept, and Kim the neighbor ran into the place to get people out. I ran around the back of the place from our side while Everardo grabbed the hose to spray water on our roof.

When I got there almost all the people were on the patio and we helped the care workers get the people down to the beach...a couple of wheel chairs so it wasn't that easy. It turned out that it wasn't the building, but a cab-over camper that had been torched. The noise must have been it bursting into flames- it was so quick it had to be gasoline or something like that. It did spread to the garage, which is not attached to the house, and the garage door burned and then apparently the garage was full of wood...Also the back of a big boat caught fire, too. The fire was on the far side of the property from us, but there's always a breeze and I was afraid of embers. The facility is cement, like most of the houses out here, and never caught fire. Actually the roof of the house across the road that the guy had moved away from was also smoking...but again- the building is cement. So it was meant as some kind of warning I guess...and altho there were propane tanks...they happened to be empty that day....which makes one wonder again- did the druggie do this to get money from his father? Or was it really these low level drug dealers. Lots of cops, lots of cops came along with lots of fire trucks. I was very impressed and happy to see how quickly the fire dept came! I think it helped that it was 2am, and so no traffic. (People here will move for fire trucks and ambulances, but hardly every for the cops ha ha) It seems that the cops think it was the guy. BUT: The landowner here said enough is enough and he made them close the facility.

Now that house that got worked on all summer came in handy. We got all the people settled in there. The firemen were very caring with them. A lady got sick, shock I assume, and the emergency guys, had just left, and they turned around and came right back to treat her. We got back to bed about 4:30am...so it was a lazy weekend ha ha. The other nice thing is there has been a guard here every nite since. I think he's a cop, but is getting hired by the landowners. This is supposedly a "gated" community...ha ha our gate is a rope, that you have be let in thru- but you can come up from the beach anytime. People drive on the beach all the time; not supposed to but people do it, especially with ATVs during the summer months...the tourist trade is so slow, nobody's gonna stop anyone from doing anything around here. Also, there's no walls or anything- you might not be able to drive in from the road but you can certainly walk in, which is what must have happened both times- or from the beach...but we didn't see any lights or hear any vehicles the other nite down there, so who knows. I guess there was always supposed to be a security guard in the camp, but recently it's been an old man who sleeps in the gate house....they'll find something else for him to do....

Just a few minutes ago Poppi came back from walking the dogs and said he was talking to the security guard who told him he's getting hired full time...and that's just fine with me. We just have the one neighbor close to us now, and he's across the road and down a ways...then the houses are all empty for a couple of blocks, then a few with people in them. It makes it nice and quiet at out end...but also a little isolated. Of course we have Sam & Hazel...when we are not home, they are in the yard so we aren't worried. Yes they come with us alot, but during the day usually. We just don't have a big nite life besides AA meetings or an occasional dinner out. But eating out is more often a late lunch type of deal, we are home at nite...kinda developed that habit when we were down south and it wasn't that safe to be our of our town at nite. So don't get me wrong- I always feel safe here. Even with that happening- it was never about us. I am pissed at that scumbag loser- who does that? To an Alzheimer's place??? Jackass. But I was never afraid and am still not.

I love my beach home. I love love love the sunsets....every nite it's beautiful. The estuary is always beautiful, ha ha though lately the mosquitos over there in the evening make me skip the nite dog walks...but it's starting to cool off at nite so I think they will start to go away. The quiet, the gentle sounds of the waves, the beauty...yeah I guess I'm on vacation all the time!

So- speaking of vacation...we are planning a road trip to Guerrero, but the news has us hesitating. These students who were kidnapped, some of them murdered....this is all happening in Guerrero. Not in our town, not near it, probly between 2-4 hours away...I was hoping it was 4 or more hours...but Everardo is saying there's trouble in Acapulco as well. It seems alot of cops are getting arrested as well and the vigilante group is back. I think I may have written about this "whack a mole" effect before- that as criminal activity gets managed in one area, it pops up in another. Yeah Guerrero has been having problems for a long time, but this is getting very big. We should be fine- we travel the cuota roads and never at nite...but we would have to come thru Chilpanzingo (sic) which is very close to the place Iguala where these newest terrible things have happened. So we don't have to go that way, but will have to figure out a different route. I remember going that way when we went to Morelia Micoacan to see his family...which we also plan to do. So I am leaving the decision up to Everardo on how he feels about us going. Up to now, we have been confident about traveling thru southern Mexico, exercised caution (like using the cuota-toll roads, driving only during the day). But emotions are high. When we first drove down with all out stuff, we got pulled over all over the place...and altho' it will just be him & I in the truck...on the way back we'll have a bunch of boxes most likely in the back. (My books yippee) and maybe a couple of other things. But we need to be smart. He's been talking to a couple of people in the last couple of days, however, and we think by the end of the month we should be good to go. The swarming feds, state cops and other agencies will hopefully have some kind of resolutions by then and also hopefully emotions will not be running so high. The people Poppi talked to said there are no problems there, we just have to get there from here.

So we will most likely still go...as long as things don't deteriorate from where they are now. I'm sure we will never know what really happened down there, I keep reading different stories about it all, and yes for sure corruption, but I think things we don't know or want to know. I'll keep ya posted as it get closer. I really want to go- but I also don't want to be stupid. We've been planning to go back for over a year, so if we have to put it off a couple of months again, to be safe, well then so be it. Ha ha I already cleared shelves for my books. We have been planning things around "when we get back" ha ha. Like we need a longer couch then this loveseat that you can't lay down on. I want a project to refinish the dining room table because it's so scratched up from 3 moves...and it was really pretty pre-scratches. Or maybe re-finish it and then store it and buy a smaller one at the segundas. It's long like a picnic table, and so kinda too big for this place...and we don't need a long table- only we eat here ha ha. Oh we've had Tim a couple of times but that's it. I want to change a few things around but in my head it's all "after our trip". Our vacation from our vacation.

It should be nice weather in the south by November, I don't know what it will be like here...maybe getting cold. But I suspect that cold is not all that cold ha ha. Hmmm but maybe the super thin walls of a mobile home may not keep us all that warm.....hey every day is an adventure when you live on the beach in Mexico. As always, we'll see what comes next. Hope this wasn't as boring as my phone problems ha ha. Viva!