I just checked and my last post here was a week ago today. Right as I was slipping into the torturous hell of a horrid chest cold and all around sick head pounding stomach nauseating painful experience. And I am NOT exaggerating! Sunday nite not long after I posted here, I went to bed, a little shaky and feeling a little crappy. The fever hit during the nite and I tossed and turned, awake and asleep, alternating freezing and burning up. Then in the morning as I knelt in front to the porcelain bowl I thought about how I used to feel waking up with those horrible hangovers...just thought it for a minute and then went back to puking. I could barely make it downstairs in the morning, and luckily it was close to 7am, so I simply feed the dogs and left them outside, almost all day. I couldn't eat and could barely hold down water, but in the afternoon finally ventured back downstairs to see the doggys and made myself eat some toast. Boy oh boy did I feel sorry for myself. All alone and sicker than a dog.
Everardo had called Sunday late afternoon and said he was leaving, then Monday morning when he called he knew immediately that I was sick, and proceeded to break all speed records getting back here and made around noon on Tuesday. I knew he was driving at nite and driving too fast, but he insisted that it was safe on the cuotas, and honestly, I was so happy when he got home! Just to take care of Sam & Hazel if nothing else, because remember she needs to go out about midnite so that she can make it the rest of the nite without peeing in the house, or getting me up to go outside. Probably another month before her little bladder is big enough and she is fully trained...because she still has accidents in the house and I swear she gave no signal....
Once Poppi got home I could collapse...and I did. I stayed in bed the rest of Tuesday, and most of Christmas...only went out for a little fresh air in the car on Friday, Saturday, and today. But the very worst was while I was alone. Monday I had a headache that I thought would split my head in two, but I tried something new and just gave in to it, telling myself it would go away at some point. Ha ha I was so tired from my naps instead of any length of sleep; I coughed constantly all week and although I feel much better, still weak, but the cough remains. This cold KICKED my ass! I got really weak, and even today I got tired walking at the open air market after about 10 minutes.
Christmas had highlights though. We skyped with Drew and Rex, and saw them and the kids open their presents. We had sent gifts for them and Danica, but I didn't know Christian would be there as well- he's 11 and my daughter is so smart- one of the games we sent to Danica she remarked for him. It was so nice watching them and being a part of it....almost like being there- yipee for skype. Right after though it was back to bed for me! We had a small quiet Christmas, jammies all day, and the only thing I could eat was scrambled eggs.
I thought of lots of things I wanted to write about while I was sick, but thinking much hurt my head (ok ha ha), I didn't go on my computer, and I couldn't read either..I mean I just started a book, but not only did my head start to ache when I tried to read, but I couldn't focus or concentrate hardly at all. Oh wait- I did sit on hold for 45 minutes on Tuesday morning to finalize my new healthcare, but the nice lady who answered, who was as sick as me, laughed when I told her I finished with Covered Calif on Thursday and said call back in 10 days! I said but I sat on hold 45 min, and she said well the day before (Mon) people waited and hour and a half. Oh yippee I have to do that tomorrow. It really is my fault though, I should have taken care of this back in Oct...
So I missed Christmas in Mexico this year. I was supposed to go to a potluck on Sunday and I missed it. I was supposed to go to a house for Christmas carols and hopefully Christmas cookies on Monday and I missed that. We were supposed to go to a little holiday party potluck today in Ensenada with the AA group there, but I just didn't feel up to it. Oh, and I was invited to another AA friend's place for Christmas dinner here in Punta Banda, since I thought Everardo wouldn't make it back by then, but I was so sick that when I called to thank them and they extended the invitation to us both, I just couldn't do it. I've been in a daze for a week! I am finally starting to feel better, this is my first attempt at writing anything; I promised my brother and sisters and email, since I did actually call them on Christmas, but only to say I was too sick to talk...so I'll try to catch up with them during this coming week.
The weather is nutty- really cold while I was alone and warmer after Poppi got back. Then alternating cold and warmer almost day to day. Oh one thing though, I may have a lead on a place to see if I can volunteer. I got a vitamin B shot at a new pharmacy....actually we both got them, and it's kind of a combo of different B's (like b4, b12, etc) and a couple of other viatmins, and anyway the woman who gave us the shots was chatting and since we were in Maneadero, I tried to ask her, and then Everardo helped. So she said there's a community center nearby and told us how to get there, so once I'm feeling 100 % again I'm going over there.
I had lots of time to think this past week and I want to make some commitments to myself for New Years. I know that resolutions are made to be broken ha ha, but I like to start things at the beginning- like exercise programs or my Spanish, anything...a diet, I like to start them on Mondays or the first day of a month. So I was trying to think about what's important to me, and they are...being in service, getting much much better in Spanish, living in the moment, forgiveness, acceptance...not in any particular order..being in service I think I mean volunteering at the dog rescue and teaching English for free. Living in the moment is about being happy right here right now and not worrying about what other people are doing...acceptance is partly about my younger daughter, loving her unconditionally meaning whether she has a relationship with me right now or not. That when she wants me, I will be here. And for me to stop making up little scenarios in my head where I get to be right. Neither of us is right, or wrong, were simply humans finding our way. Forgiveness is alot about me, and in some ways relates to my daughters. I have to let go of thinking I failed them. That my older daughter who I adore...was I the best mom? I made so many mistakes, and maybe some of the struggles she went thru when she was younger was because of something I didn't teach her? And the money the damn money...yes yes yes we fucked up by not setting aside money for them, for college of for a house down payment. But it is done. It is what it is. I have to forgive myself and move forward in ways that are ok with ME. And stop second guessing myself. But I have gotten some awareness, just in the last few weeks, and so maybe growth will come, eh?
Ok now I am exhausted. So the story of today, or little fender bender and the cop...well you just have to wait.
Buenas noches
Everardo had called Sunday late afternoon and said he was leaving, then Monday morning when he called he knew immediately that I was sick, and proceeded to break all speed records getting back here and made around noon on Tuesday. I knew he was driving at nite and driving too fast, but he insisted that it was safe on the cuotas, and honestly, I was so happy when he got home! Just to take care of Sam & Hazel if nothing else, because remember she needs to go out about midnite so that she can make it the rest of the nite without peeing in the house, or getting me up to go outside. Probably another month before her little bladder is big enough and she is fully trained...because she still has accidents in the house and I swear she gave no signal....
Once Poppi got home I could collapse...and I did. I stayed in bed the rest of Tuesday, and most of Christmas...only went out for a little fresh air in the car on Friday, Saturday, and today. But the very worst was while I was alone. Monday I had a headache that I thought would split my head in two, but I tried something new and just gave in to it, telling myself it would go away at some point. Ha ha I was so tired from my naps instead of any length of sleep; I coughed constantly all week and although I feel much better, still weak, but the cough remains. This cold KICKED my ass! I got really weak, and even today I got tired walking at the open air market after about 10 minutes.
Christmas had highlights though. We skyped with Drew and Rex, and saw them and the kids open their presents. We had sent gifts for them and Danica, but I didn't know Christian would be there as well- he's 11 and my daughter is so smart- one of the games we sent to Danica she remarked for him. It was so nice watching them and being a part of it....almost like being there- yipee for skype. Right after though it was back to bed for me! We had a small quiet Christmas, jammies all day, and the only thing I could eat was scrambled eggs.
I thought of lots of things I wanted to write about while I was sick, but thinking much hurt my head (ok ha ha), I didn't go on my computer, and I couldn't read either..I mean I just started a book, but not only did my head start to ache when I tried to read, but I couldn't focus or concentrate hardly at all. Oh wait- I did sit on hold for 45 minutes on Tuesday morning to finalize my new healthcare, but the nice lady who answered, who was as sick as me, laughed when I told her I finished with Covered Calif on Thursday and said call back in 10 days! I said but I sat on hold 45 min, and she said well the day before (Mon) people waited and hour and a half. Oh yippee I have to do that tomorrow. It really is my fault though, I should have taken care of this back in Oct...
So I missed Christmas in Mexico this year. I was supposed to go to a potluck on Sunday and I missed it. I was supposed to go to a house for Christmas carols and hopefully Christmas cookies on Monday and I missed that. We were supposed to go to a little holiday party potluck today in Ensenada with the AA group there, but I just didn't feel up to it. Oh, and I was invited to another AA friend's place for Christmas dinner here in Punta Banda, since I thought Everardo wouldn't make it back by then, but I was so sick that when I called to thank them and they extended the invitation to us both, I just couldn't do it. I've been in a daze for a week! I am finally starting to feel better, this is my first attempt at writing anything; I promised my brother and sisters and email, since I did actually call them on Christmas, but only to say I was too sick to talk...so I'll try to catch up with them during this coming week.
The weather is nutty- really cold while I was alone and warmer after Poppi got back. Then alternating cold and warmer almost day to day. Oh one thing though, I may have a lead on a place to see if I can volunteer. I got a vitamin B shot at a new pharmacy....actually we both got them, and it's kind of a combo of different B's (like b4, b12, etc) and a couple of other viatmins, and anyway the woman who gave us the shots was chatting and since we were in Maneadero, I tried to ask her, and then Everardo helped. So she said there's a community center nearby and told us how to get there, so once I'm feeling 100 % again I'm going over there.
I had lots of time to think this past week and I want to make some commitments to myself for New Years. I know that resolutions are made to be broken ha ha, but I like to start things at the beginning- like exercise programs or my Spanish, anything...a diet, I like to start them on Mondays or the first day of a month. So I was trying to think about what's important to me, and they are...being in service, getting much much better in Spanish, living in the moment, forgiveness, acceptance...not in any particular order..being in service I think I mean volunteering at the dog rescue and teaching English for free. Living in the moment is about being happy right here right now and not worrying about what other people are doing...acceptance is partly about my younger daughter, loving her unconditionally meaning whether she has a relationship with me right now or not. That when she wants me, I will be here. And for me to stop making up little scenarios in my head where I get to be right. Neither of us is right, or wrong, were simply humans finding our way. Forgiveness is alot about me, and in some ways relates to my daughters. I have to let go of thinking I failed them. That my older daughter who I adore...was I the best mom? I made so many mistakes, and maybe some of the struggles she went thru when she was younger was because of something I didn't teach her? And the money the damn money...yes yes yes we fucked up by not setting aside money for them, for college of for a house down payment. But it is done. It is what it is. I have to forgive myself and move forward in ways that are ok with ME. And stop second guessing myself. But I have gotten some awareness, just in the last few weeks, and so maybe growth will come, eh?
Ok now I am exhausted. So the story of today, or little fender bender and the cop...well you just have to wait.
Buenas noches
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