Monday- back to reality. Of course my reality changes as I change, as a person, my location, as a result of outside forces....today I went back out to the Community Center after the meeting. Everardo went with me and we followed Rich and Julian out there. Julian lives out there, and ur friends Rich and Anda go out there Mon Wed Fri every week, but Anda emailed me this morning to say she was sick. Everardo went out there and talked to Karen the director about starting a men's AA meeting out there. She thinks it's really needed out there, and I heard then atlking about a group of guys that were sitting at one of the tables waiting to eat; she told him some of them were trying to quit drinking but....so anyway they tallked abd he's going to see if he can get a couple of guys he knows to come out there with him to get something going.
A store sorta nearby the center that I think sells only vegetables and meat, and they just said they would donate all the veges that are still good but don't sell. So we stopped there on the way and picked up almost a whole garbage can (a tall clean can) of veges. And the pick up is 2 or 3 days a week. So that is pretty cool. We waked in and the place was full of people, not sure how many, maybe 100? A lot of them were kids. After the meal we announced English class, and first just a few kids; then a ton of kids, then thinnned back down to I think, 11 kids who were paying attention, and maybe 4-5 who were really little and just sort of there It was less chaotic than last week, and I was less worried about it going just so. I made color flash cards yesterday so I started with those and then we also did days of the week. Oh wait- before days of the week I brought out the bag with 10 items and we named them. With the colors, some of them, and at least one kid knew every color, like maybe only one knew orange and another knew brown- oh the only color nobody knew was purple. So we identified objects, did colors and days of the week. But I told them whoever could tell me the names of the objects in the bag, in English, on Wednesday, would get a dulce (candy). Everybody was listening to that. But we didn't even go for an hour...they couldn't sit still, and a couple yelled but everything, while another couple of kids spoke so softly I couldn't hear them, so I just decided to have a little fun and we'll see who comes back on Wednesday. Trying to remember for myself- no pressure.
It felt good though, the time flew by. I think I would like to become more involved there. I can ignore the "churchy" stuff cause there's alot more than that going on. I just want to be of service. I am so fortunate, so lucky in my life, and so incredibly grateful for my life. After this weekend, having my daughters here, a joy I was missing has been restored. I feel like I'm in the right place for me right now. In Playa Ventura, of course there were many ways I could have gotten involved once the kids didn't want to come anymore- after school started- or hey, maybe not. I mean people were simply going about their daily lives there, and there were no community services or organizations helping anyone- they were all in need so some extent or another. Ha ha I am still trying to justify myself in the decision first to go live out my life there ha ha- without trying it on for a while, then feeling like a failure when I had to admit I wasn't happy there. But just writing it here, I see that it's not a question of sucess or failure, altho' it's definitely a case of me jumping head first into something without giving it a try first (ha ha that's SO me). I read on expat forums how you should rent somewhere first to try it on for size...well I guess my original intention was vacation spot, and it's good for that, anyway, it ok for me to make a different choice. Lots of lessons there. We rent now ha ha. I find that a solitary life is not for me. I think even speaking the language Playa Ventura was too isolated for me, not enough people for it to be more dynamic. I had the opportunity to work on my spirituality; a lot of alone time invites that- or I would have simply gone nuts...but I need people around me, I need options, and I need hot water! Ok maybe not need, but WANT in a big way.
So now I am here and I feel good. Happy. My kids are close. They liked it here and want to come back. We like our little house, it starting to feel like home. We're gonna approach the landlord soon again about paint- I think it will change the house completely...it always does. I was thinking this morning as I looked around our bedroom, that I have my necklaces hanging around, literally ha ha- some on a little necklace stand, some hanging off these little shelves, and some on the curtain rod (which is merely a piece of bamboo), but the point is, in Playa Ventura I never set anything out, I mean kept my good stuff hidden, but I have lots of just costume jewlery, cheap stuff that, well is also me, but I never put it out, finding little places to hang it like I did here. Well and the whole thing about having to go outside and across the patio to the kitchen- now that's a vacation house thing right? Of course I am freezing! I'm wearing a sweatshirt in the house, and down there I simply wore sweat ha ha.
I'm learning more about this area, apparently this is on the path for those moving northwards. Mexican, Hondurans, Salvadorians, many many people walking north thru here. The other day Poppi came in and took the tortillas we had, some ham, some cheese and some nuts ad gave them to some guys he saw traveling, and they were asking for money for food. I talked to a couple of people today who told me I will always see people moving thru here, many have come up on the trains... It's hard sometimes, but I will come to know how best I can contribute in this place...
A store sorta nearby the center that I think sells only vegetables and meat, and they just said they would donate all the veges that are still good but don't sell. So we stopped there on the way and picked up almost a whole garbage can (a tall clean can) of veges. And the pick up is 2 or 3 days a week. So that is pretty cool. We waked in and the place was full of people, not sure how many, maybe 100? A lot of them were kids. After the meal we announced English class, and first just a few kids; then a ton of kids, then thinnned back down to I think, 11 kids who were paying attention, and maybe 4-5 who were really little and just sort of there It was less chaotic than last week, and I was less worried about it going just so. I made color flash cards yesterday so I started with those and then we also did days of the week. Oh wait- before days of the week I brought out the bag with 10 items and we named them. With the colors, some of them, and at least one kid knew every color, like maybe only one knew orange and another knew brown- oh the only color nobody knew was purple. So we identified objects, did colors and days of the week. But I told them whoever could tell me the names of the objects in the bag, in English, on Wednesday, would get a dulce (candy). Everybody was listening to that. But we didn't even go for an hour...they couldn't sit still, and a couple yelled but everything, while another couple of kids spoke so softly I couldn't hear them, so I just decided to have a little fun and we'll see who comes back on Wednesday. Trying to remember for myself- no pressure.
It felt good though, the time flew by. I think I would like to become more involved there. I can ignore the "churchy" stuff cause there's alot more than that going on. I just want to be of service. I am so fortunate, so lucky in my life, and so incredibly grateful for my life. After this weekend, having my daughters here, a joy I was missing has been restored. I feel like I'm in the right place for me right now. In Playa Ventura, of course there were many ways I could have gotten involved once the kids didn't want to come anymore- after school started- or hey, maybe not. I mean people were simply going about their daily lives there, and there were no community services or organizations helping anyone- they were all in need so some extent or another. Ha ha I am still trying to justify myself in the decision first to go live out my life there ha ha- without trying it on for a while, then feeling like a failure when I had to admit I wasn't happy there. But just writing it here, I see that it's not a question of sucess or failure, altho' it's definitely a case of me jumping head first into something without giving it a try first (ha ha that's SO me). I read on expat forums how you should rent somewhere first to try it on for size...well I guess my original intention was vacation spot, and it's good for that, anyway, it ok for me to make a different choice. Lots of lessons there. We rent now ha ha. I find that a solitary life is not for me. I think even speaking the language Playa Ventura was too isolated for me, not enough people for it to be more dynamic. I had the opportunity to work on my spirituality; a lot of alone time invites that- or I would have simply gone nuts...but I need people around me, I need options, and I need hot water! Ok maybe not need, but WANT in a big way.
So now I am here and I feel good. Happy. My kids are close. They liked it here and want to come back. We like our little house, it starting to feel like home. We're gonna approach the landlord soon again about paint- I think it will change the house completely...it always does. I was thinking this morning as I looked around our bedroom, that I have my necklaces hanging around, literally ha ha- some on a little necklace stand, some hanging off these little shelves, and some on the curtain rod (which is merely a piece of bamboo), but the point is, in Playa Ventura I never set anything out, I mean kept my good stuff hidden, but I have lots of just costume jewlery, cheap stuff that, well is also me, but I never put it out, finding little places to hang it like I did here. Well and the whole thing about having to go outside and across the patio to the kitchen- now that's a vacation house thing right? Of course I am freezing! I'm wearing a sweatshirt in the house, and down there I simply wore sweat ha ha.
I'm learning more about this area, apparently this is on the path for those moving northwards. Mexican, Hondurans, Salvadorians, many many people walking north thru here. The other day Poppi came in and took the tortillas we had, some ham, some cheese and some nuts ad gave them to some guys he saw traveling, and they were asking for money for food. I talked to a couple of people today who told me I will always see people moving thru here, many have come up on the trains... It's hard sometimes, but I will come to know how best I can contribute in this place...
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