Friday morning- home in Mexico! Long day getting home yesterday, uneventful except in my little pea brain. The flight was an hour late, so I called the shuttle place while I was waiting. The woman tells me the last shuttle for Puerto Penasco is at 3pm- not 5! Crap! I call Everardo and he calls them, and tells me he'll call back and leave me a message since I'll be on the plane. So- right before we take off my phone stops working. Lovely. We get to Phoenix and the phone still doesn't work. I turn it off and on, nope. So I grab a taxi and go to to the shuttle office.
My driver was a guy from Somalia. Very interesting guy. His family was in Ohio, but his wife and little boy were with him in Phoenix. He thought I was a "very strong" woman since I had been married to two foreigners- one Arab and one Mexican. He spoke Arabic and asked if my Palestinian husband was a Muslim. I said no- he was nothing- no religion. We talked about the weather, hot the past couple of weeks in Phoenix, but being from Somalia he was used to it ha ha. He likes the heat and so do I so we laughed about the heat in Mexico. We got to the shuttle office and I went in and asked about the shuttle to Puerto Penasco. The kid said- oh it already left- I yelled WHAT? NO! And this woman sitting nearby said to me- he said that to me as well! Very funny right? The kid said no just joking, we have been waiting for you. He said my husband had been calling all day! Aaaaahhhh my sweet man. Of course he didn't tell me anything other than they said they'd wait for me. The kid would not let me use the phone to call Everardo because it was a call to Mexico, and said well he'll call again ha ha! It was about 4:30 when I arrived there, after the late plane, but I was there so ok. At about 5 min to 5pm, my phone started working- well ringing- and it was Everardo. So he knew I made it.
By the time I got home, about 10pm, I was soooo tired. The trip should only be 4 hours, but we left late, and drove around phoenix for awhile, I think trying to pick up someone at their home, but were unsuccessful.
So I didn't get up until after 9am this morning. I did not go to my AA meeting, I didn't want to rush out, I wanted to be with hubby and puppy dog. Now Everardo has gone out to walk the beach with his stuff. I'm just tired. Maybe cause I didn't rest much the whole vacation. I was so busy! I didn't think I would be; but I went from person to person...from meeting to meeting. I wanted to go to as many meetings as I could. To get the fellowship, to get the feeling of a big meeting, to feel it like it was new, I was a different person than the last meeting I was in up there.
Interesting though, I knew I was different as soon as I got there. I mean I knew a little bit I had changed, after a year in Mexico how could I not have changed at least a little, right? And I could feel it. The very cool thing was, that other people saw a change in me. A calmness is kind of how it was articulated to me. I am more calm. More accepting. I am better at remembering I can't change anything but my own attitude, that I am not in control of anything beyond the tip of my nose. Only how I choose to react, my own behavior.I'm a new kind of happy. Ok happy, like everything is ok, I am always going to be ok. That taxi driver was right, well he said I was strong; I say lucky, grateful. I am lucky enough, and smart enough to be grateful for, having two men in my life that were/are amazing. My ex husband is a good man. A great father. He's Palestinian and we and the kids visited Jordan and Egypt. Cause his brother in law was in Africa at the time my mom gave me a ticket for my college graduation, I went to Mozambique and South Africa; saw wild animals in the wild- so very very cool.
Yeah I graduated college at the ripe old age of 35- and my mom had been to Kenya on a picture safari and she loved it so much she wanted me to have that experience. Thanx mom! Anyway Yahia's brither in law was working in Mozambique so I went there. We drove with this South African guy and his Arabic wife and their 2 kids to South Africa and to the Kruger, which is a huge wild animal reserve. And unlike Kenya at the time (cause that was almost 20 years ago and maybe it's changed), anyway you could only go on designated roads, and could not of course get out of the vehicles. In Kenya you could chase after and look for animals. In the Kruger you can only go on these certain roads, and if you don't see any animals it's tough shit, cause they are in their natural habitat. We spent the nite in these little cabins and until I got drunk I was a little scared that something might come and eat me during the nite. Ha ha but once I was drunk we laughed and talked until passing out. Oh yeah the next morning was pretty painful.
So back to the subject. I have been exceptionally lucky with my 2 husbands. Getting sober had alot to do with our breakup; I became someone else in many ways. My husband was/is a great caretaker, and with my drinking and over compensating- it was a perfect match. I am a very strong person, but needed some caretaking. He is a good man, and very nurturing. But after 5 years of sobriety, I found i didn't need someone to take care of me, I needed someone to challenge me, to be my equal or more- to put me thru my paces, not to "enable" me. What he did for me was not bad, not ever, he is a good man. But, what I needed in my life change. It was not good for him anymore either, because I was no longer what he needed either. We are friends, we are parents. Like I said, I was lucky. So I lived alone for 5 years (ok not always alone- gotta have some fun!) It's funny the two of them are alike in many ways....they both cook so well!! Ha ha This is important to me since I don't cook at all. I can, but I don't like to...you do all this work, then eat it, then you have to clean it all up! But cooks don't see it that way. Yeah I could eat peanut butter sandwiches every day over the sink- not kidding. They can both grow anything- total green thumbs! Our yards are beautiful and we always have so many veggies, more than anyone else and for longer ha ha!
Well my husband now, Everardo is a wonderful man. He's loving and caring, but doesn't let me feel sorry for myself, or wallow in self pity. He pushes me to be the best I can be. I met him in recovery so we have that in common. It's really cool whenever we go anywhere we look for meetings and it's fun to go to new meetings. When we drove up to Tacoma Washington we went to meetings in northen Calif, Oregon and Washington. When we go places in Mexico we do the same thing. As my Spanish improves I am more confident in those meetings. Like I said, I am soooo lucky, and try to remember to be soooo grateful.
My kids are so amazing! I loved every second with them. Drewy is so grown up. She has a nice house and a family, & yeah the wedding is a year away, but they are a family now. Danica was calling me Grandma T! She and I played on the computer, and she was sending text messages, but just hitting random keys as if each key was a whole word. It was hysterical! My soon to be granddaughter. But like I said, we are already a family. Only Everardo was missing, and I longed for him to be there. But we talked to him on Skype when we were all together. Halla took me to dinner at the place she's working, Central Market and I think everybody who worked there came up to our table to be introduced and tell me how much they loved her working there! Halla is so vibrant, full of plans and ideas for her life. I love her enthusiasm. I pray she sticks with her positive, motivated friends and follows thru with her ideas for the future. Yeah I have to say it. She has this one friend I wrote about before who is struggling with addiction, and I keep begging Halla to go to Alanon, cause she cannot fix this kid. When her friend really wants to be clean and sober, and starts to work on it, then she will see success, but she doesn't really want it, and Halla wanting it for her not only doesn't work, but pulls Halla down. But she is a strong young woman, and a sister who is close and supports her, so I am not worried- ha ha I just hate anything/anyone who in my opinion threatens my girls happiness, both of them. I am hoping Drewy gets this job she applied for where she'll be working days instead of nites and have weekends for fun with family and friends. It's only now- right this minute I wish I had all that money back. I'd give it to both girls; Drewy so she could quit and look for a better job at her leisure, and pay for her wedding, and Halla so she can finish school and move out on her own.
Hmmm so today I am very emotional. Good thing hubby ain't home because I have been in tears several times while writing this. Maybe I should take Sam to the park. Yippe I am home..and sad at the same time to say goodbye to my girls. As always, viva.
My driver was a guy from Somalia. Very interesting guy. His family was in Ohio, but his wife and little boy were with him in Phoenix. He thought I was a "very strong" woman since I had been married to two foreigners- one Arab and one Mexican. He spoke Arabic and asked if my Palestinian husband was a Muslim. I said no- he was nothing- no religion. We talked about the weather, hot the past couple of weeks in Phoenix, but being from Somalia he was used to it ha ha. He likes the heat and so do I so we laughed about the heat in Mexico. We got to the shuttle office and I went in and asked about the shuttle to Puerto Penasco. The kid said- oh it already left- I yelled WHAT? NO! And this woman sitting nearby said to me- he said that to me as well! Very funny right? The kid said no just joking, we have been waiting for you. He said my husband had been calling all day! Aaaaahhhh my sweet man. Of course he didn't tell me anything other than they said they'd wait for me. The kid would not let me use the phone to call Everardo because it was a call to Mexico, and said well he'll call again ha ha! It was about 4:30 when I arrived there, after the late plane, but I was there so ok. At about 5 min to 5pm, my phone started working- well ringing- and it was Everardo. So he knew I made it.
By the time I got home, about 10pm, I was soooo tired. The trip should only be 4 hours, but we left late, and drove around phoenix for awhile, I think trying to pick up someone at their home, but were unsuccessful.
So I didn't get up until after 9am this morning. I did not go to my AA meeting, I didn't want to rush out, I wanted to be with hubby and puppy dog. Now Everardo has gone out to walk the beach with his stuff. I'm just tired. Maybe cause I didn't rest much the whole vacation. I was so busy! I didn't think I would be; but I went from person to person...from meeting to meeting. I wanted to go to as many meetings as I could. To get the fellowship, to get the feeling of a big meeting, to feel it like it was new, I was a different person than the last meeting I was in up there.
Interesting though, I knew I was different as soon as I got there. I mean I knew a little bit I had changed, after a year in Mexico how could I not have changed at least a little, right? And I could feel it. The very cool thing was, that other people saw a change in me. A calmness is kind of how it was articulated to me. I am more calm. More accepting. I am better at remembering I can't change anything but my own attitude, that I am not in control of anything beyond the tip of my nose. Only how I choose to react, my own behavior.I'm a new kind of happy. Ok happy, like everything is ok, I am always going to be ok. That taxi driver was right, well he said I was strong; I say lucky, grateful. I am lucky enough, and smart enough to be grateful for, having two men in my life that were/are amazing. My ex husband is a good man. A great father. He's Palestinian and we and the kids visited Jordan and Egypt. Cause his brother in law was in Africa at the time my mom gave me a ticket for my college graduation, I went to Mozambique and South Africa; saw wild animals in the wild- so very very cool.
Yeah I graduated college at the ripe old age of 35- and my mom had been to Kenya on a picture safari and she loved it so much she wanted me to have that experience. Thanx mom! Anyway Yahia's brither in law was working in Mozambique so I went there. We drove with this South African guy and his Arabic wife and their 2 kids to South Africa and to the Kruger, which is a huge wild animal reserve. And unlike Kenya at the time (cause that was almost 20 years ago and maybe it's changed), anyway you could only go on designated roads, and could not of course get out of the vehicles. In Kenya you could chase after and look for animals. In the Kruger you can only go on these certain roads, and if you don't see any animals it's tough shit, cause they are in their natural habitat. We spent the nite in these little cabins and until I got drunk I was a little scared that something might come and eat me during the nite. Ha ha but once I was drunk we laughed and talked until passing out. Oh yeah the next morning was pretty painful.
So back to the subject. I have been exceptionally lucky with my 2 husbands. Getting sober had alot to do with our breakup; I became someone else in many ways. My husband was/is a great caretaker, and with my drinking and over compensating- it was a perfect match. I am a very strong person, but needed some caretaking. He is a good man, and very nurturing. But after 5 years of sobriety, I found i didn't need someone to take care of me, I needed someone to challenge me, to be my equal or more- to put me thru my paces, not to "enable" me. What he did for me was not bad, not ever, he is a good man. But, what I needed in my life change. It was not good for him anymore either, because I was no longer what he needed either. We are friends, we are parents. Like I said, I was lucky. So I lived alone for 5 years (ok not always alone- gotta have some fun!) It's funny the two of them are alike in many ways....they both cook so well!! Ha ha This is important to me since I don't cook at all. I can, but I don't like to...you do all this work, then eat it, then you have to clean it all up! But cooks don't see it that way. Yeah I could eat peanut butter sandwiches every day over the sink- not kidding. They can both grow anything- total green thumbs! Our yards are beautiful and we always have so many veggies, more than anyone else and for longer ha ha!
Well my husband now, Everardo is a wonderful man. He's loving and caring, but doesn't let me feel sorry for myself, or wallow in self pity. He pushes me to be the best I can be. I met him in recovery so we have that in common. It's really cool whenever we go anywhere we look for meetings and it's fun to go to new meetings. When we drove up to Tacoma Washington we went to meetings in northen Calif, Oregon and Washington. When we go places in Mexico we do the same thing. As my Spanish improves I am more confident in those meetings. Like I said, I am soooo lucky, and try to remember to be soooo grateful.
My kids are so amazing! I loved every second with them. Drewy is so grown up. She has a nice house and a family, & yeah the wedding is a year away, but they are a family now. Danica was calling me Grandma T! She and I played on the computer, and she was sending text messages, but just hitting random keys as if each key was a whole word. It was hysterical! My soon to be granddaughter. But like I said, we are already a family. Only Everardo was missing, and I longed for him to be there. But we talked to him on Skype when we were all together. Halla took me to dinner at the place she's working, Central Market and I think everybody who worked there came up to our table to be introduced and tell me how much they loved her working there! Halla is so vibrant, full of plans and ideas for her life. I love her enthusiasm. I pray she sticks with her positive, motivated friends and follows thru with her ideas for the future. Yeah I have to say it. She has this one friend I wrote about before who is struggling with addiction, and I keep begging Halla to go to Alanon, cause she cannot fix this kid. When her friend really wants to be clean and sober, and starts to work on it, then she will see success, but she doesn't really want it, and Halla wanting it for her not only doesn't work, but pulls Halla down. But she is a strong young woman, and a sister who is close and supports her, so I am not worried- ha ha I just hate anything/anyone who in my opinion threatens my girls happiness, both of them. I am hoping Drewy gets this job she applied for where she'll be working days instead of nites and have weekends for fun with family and friends. It's only now- right this minute I wish I had all that money back. I'd give it to both girls; Drewy so she could quit and look for a better job at her leisure, and pay for her wedding, and Halla so she can finish school and move out on her own.
Hmmm so today I am very emotional. Good thing hubby ain't home because I have been in tears several times while writing this. Maybe I should take Sam to the park. Yippe I am home..and sad at the same time to say goodbye to my girls. As always, viva.
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