So yesterday I went to the doctor..and got a shot. Ha ha it's the answer to everything in Mexico- a shot. I always look them up- google them when I get home- hope I never wish I woulda looked them up before I was injected! But it was good. I had a migraine- I want to say a horrible migraine, a terrible migraine, but doesn't the word migraine conjure up all thoughts of all those words anyway? Maybe "migraine" in Latin or something means.."terrible head pain"...oh no now I'll have to google that! Yeah so mt headache woke me up and I actually cried out. It always makes me think I'm going to throw up as well, but I don't always, and I didn't yesterday. But I had a double whammy- I had a panic attack at the same time when it first hit- or maybe I was having the panic attacks and then the migraine hit...that feels more accurate cause I can remember being afraid before the headache, and Everardo said I was freaking out in my sleep....
Ok so it's 2 things. The migraine; well it happens maybe once or twice a year. I did have one in Playa Ventura, seems like it was about August or maybe September. That's when we found out that Excedrin Migraine had been taken off the market in Mexico. (hmmm I forgot to check when I was in the states). So I had purchased something else that was an aspirin but said it worked for migranes and it did ok, I mean I slept mostly around the clock and was ok the next day- it's like a bubble pops in my brain, and I can almost feel the slime dripping off..but when I took the same pill yesterday it didn't even start to help; this headache seemed much ore painful than any other I'd had. They just started a few years ago- but maybe more because I just remembered when we lived in the Metz house (that was the street- with my kids and ex), I'd be wearing sunglasses in the house cause I had a headache...and that was..well less than 10 years ago, so still, recent. Yuck maybe part of menopause? I shouldn't say yuck cause that would imply they'll go away. Anyway yesterday it started hours before we woke up, I was tossing and turning, almost crying. I took the pill but a couple of hours later, no improvement, so Poppi said, get up we're going to the doctor. So off we went, to the same place as last time when I had the flu, and the same doctor was on duty- I liked that. I felt good about him, and had decided to trust him. And, of course, he gave me shot; as soon as Everardo explained my symptoms he made a quick call, and a woman came in from next door in the pharmacy with a syringe and a couple of little vials. To the butt! Again! haha that's ok. When I got home I went back t bed and slept for hours. I got up and it had dissipated, but I felt weak. And scared that if I moved my head too much it would come back. It didn't though so I stayed up, ate some soup and a sandwich Poppi made me (he is a great soup maker- I'm a soup out of the can girl but he makes it-yum), and then I googled the medicine cause it's written on the receipt- and oh yeah, the visit and the shot- 102 pesos or $9.27USD!! Gotta love going to the doctor in Mexico! I looked up the drug, and it was exactly right; used for things like severe headache, toothache, right after surgery, for moderately severe pain.
Back to the cost for a second; $9.27 USD. I just returned to Mexico from the US where I had several doctor appts. I pay over $400 a month for insurance, and yet 3 of my appts were $95 to see the doctor. One of those appts was to have the dermatologist look at a black mark on my face and a mole on my back that had changed in texture. The appt would have lasted 2 minutes he said quickly the black mark was broken blood vessels- it's a tiny mark, from the sun and I need to protect myself from the sun, he was even kinda of condescending about it- asshole-which in turn kinda pissed me off. He said looking at my deeply tanned arms, you better start wearing something and I said, yeah I live in sunny Mexico, and he said- well maybe you should move! Ok so I will get some good UV protection lotion to start wearing....Ok then he looked at my back and I said the mole has changed, that it felt kinda scratchy, and he said- oh when it changes like that it's a good thing. I could easily freeze it off right now, but unless it's bothering you, you're fine. Wow all that and a box of Crackerjacks for $95. So in that instant I thought of how it kinda rubs on my bra strap, and said- yeah it bothers me. So he shot it with that cold stuff (is it CO2?) and the scab is finally gone. That hurt tho' when he did it. He was just a jackass and I was pissed about the cost. My oncologist was also $95, and my second visit to the OBGYN, too. I think the first visit to him was $50 and the mammogram might have been $50 as well, but crap! I have insurance! I don't know what I think of "Obama Care", but I do know this- if you continue to change nothing- then nothing will change. It is a start, now work it out until it looks better- not just fight it with every last breath. I found it was the way to figure out something in business; just start, do SOMETHING, and then you can revise from there. But just sitting and looking at it doesn't work. The F'ng drug mfgr's and insurance companies are just raping the people, and it really pisses me off. That being said, I will continue to pay the ridiculous monthly payments at least until I finish my pills regime for "after cancer" which is another year and a half...unless I see something really change in healthcare, or maybe until I win Powerball which is now in Calif!
Ok enough! My headache is gone this morning, really last nite but I was exhausted; the only thing left is the funny taste in my mouth, and that usually comes from the panic attacks. Seems like they have stayed the course;about every 6 months although in Playa Ventura I think they were more often, no maybe not more often, they just lasted longer, because I became so stressed out about living there. And I really think they have to do with some kind of chemical imbalance that occurs in my body, or else why would I have this funny taste in my mouth? I am much better at responding to them, altho' this time having the headache scared me more. Maybe it stress, then add fear, i don't know really, but it always scares the shit out of me eve though I know what it is. Poppi is so good to me when it happens; he always says call to me as soon as you feel it coming on. When he is there I feel better. It's hard to explain what they're like. But it's like having 2 consciousnesses..meaning 2 minds, or 2 different thoughts coming from 2 different places in my head, like 2 minds...ok that's weird ha ha. But when they happen I always think I can smell something- something familiar but I never identify it, also that there's something I'm supposed to know... this part is even weirder, not sure I ever thought about it this much. And......the really cool thing is this time, that it's a short term this time (I think), they started in the middle of the nite Tues nite and it's Thursday morning and I only had maybe one during the day yesterday and one that only started to come and then left during last nite. Maybe cause I'm not as scared of them anymore, and maybe they need the chemical input of fear to really come on? That would be cool cause then I could control it. I do still have a bit of a funny taste in my mouth, way back in. I haven't eaten anything yet, but yesterday everything tasted funny.
Wow I'm tired from writing all that! I want to snap out of it and look forward to today, I want to go to the center for my English class, yesterday I obviously didn't go. But I was worried on Mon & Tues cause I seem to have lost some really good students. Yes I am getting more, but where is Berta, Miriam, Rueben, Dora, Isabel, Alejandra, Carmina? Ok I know where Rueben and Dora are, and Jessica is going to find out where they live so I can go visit and ask them to come back. Rueben's wife thought the class was laughing at her, which we were not, and now all three do not come. She was in the sewing group, anyway I want to go and try to talk to her. But the rest..they are all the ones who were working on the song for the gift to Karen and Mark, I hope some show back up this week, and then I missed yesterday..I left for 2 weeks and came back to a different scenario. In fact I had too many students for one class since half were new, that;s why I made 2 classes; M-W and T-Th. I have to be there in 3 hours, but I'll try to go in 2 so they see me...and maybe I can feel back in the swing of things.
We also had no classes with Laurie, our new Spanish teacher because she has a sinus infection this week, so maybe this is just a funky week, eh? I'll also try to get back to walking tonite, I am up to the whole hour, and only missed yesterday, so we'll see today- probly as soon as I eat I'll feel better. It's not super hot outside and it is very windy, but living here I have come to love the wind ha ha. In Playa Ventura even the wind was hot, but here it is a cooling influence.
Ok Everardo is making us breakfast and I need to get dressed. I feel better already, mentally as well. I think I'm different, calmer, more "ok" with who I am. I'm grateful for that. See I always say I'm not sorry for the time we spent in Playa Ventura; it was my huge jump in self awareness, my spirituality, acceptance. It feels good. Viva!
Ok so it's 2 things. The migraine; well it happens maybe once or twice a year. I did have one in Playa Ventura, seems like it was about August or maybe September. That's when we found out that Excedrin Migraine had been taken off the market in Mexico. (hmmm I forgot to check when I was in the states). So I had purchased something else that was an aspirin but said it worked for migranes and it did ok, I mean I slept mostly around the clock and was ok the next day- it's like a bubble pops in my brain, and I can almost feel the slime dripping off..but when I took the same pill yesterday it didn't even start to help; this headache seemed much ore painful than any other I'd had. They just started a few years ago- but maybe more because I just remembered when we lived in the Metz house (that was the street- with my kids and ex), I'd be wearing sunglasses in the house cause I had a headache...and that was..well less than 10 years ago, so still, recent. Yuck maybe part of menopause? I shouldn't say yuck cause that would imply they'll go away. Anyway yesterday it started hours before we woke up, I was tossing and turning, almost crying. I took the pill but a couple of hours later, no improvement, so Poppi said, get up we're going to the doctor. So off we went, to the same place as last time when I had the flu, and the same doctor was on duty- I liked that. I felt good about him, and had decided to trust him. And, of course, he gave me shot; as soon as Everardo explained my symptoms he made a quick call, and a woman came in from next door in the pharmacy with a syringe and a couple of little vials. To the butt! Again! haha that's ok. When I got home I went back t bed and slept for hours. I got up and it had dissipated, but I felt weak. And scared that if I moved my head too much it would come back. It didn't though so I stayed up, ate some soup and a sandwich Poppi made me (he is a great soup maker- I'm a soup out of the can girl but he makes it-yum), and then I googled the medicine cause it's written on the receipt- and oh yeah, the visit and the shot- 102 pesos or $9.27USD!! Gotta love going to the doctor in Mexico! I looked up the drug, and it was exactly right; used for things like severe headache, toothache, right after surgery, for moderately severe pain.
Back to the cost for a second; $9.27 USD. I just returned to Mexico from the US where I had several doctor appts. I pay over $400 a month for insurance, and yet 3 of my appts were $95 to see the doctor. One of those appts was to have the dermatologist look at a black mark on my face and a mole on my back that had changed in texture. The appt would have lasted 2 minutes he said quickly the black mark was broken blood vessels- it's a tiny mark, from the sun and I need to protect myself from the sun, he was even kinda of condescending about it- asshole-which in turn kinda pissed me off. He said looking at my deeply tanned arms, you better start wearing something and I said, yeah I live in sunny Mexico, and he said- well maybe you should move! Ok so I will get some good UV protection lotion to start wearing....Ok then he looked at my back and I said the mole has changed, that it felt kinda scratchy, and he said- oh when it changes like that it's a good thing. I could easily freeze it off right now, but unless it's bothering you, you're fine. Wow all that and a box of Crackerjacks for $95. So in that instant I thought of how it kinda rubs on my bra strap, and said- yeah it bothers me. So he shot it with that cold stuff (is it CO2?) and the scab is finally gone. That hurt tho' when he did it. He was just a jackass and I was pissed about the cost. My oncologist was also $95, and my second visit to the OBGYN, too. I think the first visit to him was $50 and the mammogram might have been $50 as well, but crap! I have insurance! I don't know what I think of "Obama Care", but I do know this- if you continue to change nothing- then nothing will change. It is a start, now work it out until it looks better- not just fight it with every last breath. I found it was the way to figure out something in business; just start, do SOMETHING, and then you can revise from there. But just sitting and looking at it doesn't work. The F'ng drug mfgr's and insurance companies are just raping the people, and it really pisses me off. That being said, I will continue to pay the ridiculous monthly payments at least until I finish my pills regime for "after cancer" which is another year and a half...unless I see something really change in healthcare, or maybe until I win Powerball which is now in Calif!
Ok enough! My headache is gone this morning, really last nite but I was exhausted; the only thing left is the funny taste in my mouth, and that usually comes from the panic attacks. Seems like they have stayed the course;about every 6 months although in Playa Ventura I think they were more often, no maybe not more often, they just lasted longer, because I became so stressed out about living there. And I really think they have to do with some kind of chemical imbalance that occurs in my body, or else why would I have this funny taste in my mouth? I am much better at responding to them, altho' this time having the headache scared me more. Maybe it stress, then add fear, i don't know really, but it always scares the shit out of me eve though I know what it is. Poppi is so good to me when it happens; he always says call to me as soon as you feel it coming on. When he is there I feel better. It's hard to explain what they're like. But it's like having 2 consciousnesses..meaning 2 minds, or 2 different thoughts coming from 2 different places in my head, like 2 minds...ok that's weird ha ha. But when they happen I always think I can smell something- something familiar but I never identify it, also that there's something I'm supposed to know... this part is even weirder, not sure I ever thought about it this much. And......the really cool thing is this time, that it's a short term this time (I think), they started in the middle of the nite Tues nite and it's Thursday morning and I only had maybe one during the day yesterday and one that only started to come and then left during last nite. Maybe cause I'm not as scared of them anymore, and maybe they need the chemical input of fear to really come on? That would be cool cause then I could control it. I do still have a bit of a funny taste in my mouth, way back in. I haven't eaten anything yet, but yesterday everything tasted funny.
Wow I'm tired from writing all that! I want to snap out of it and look forward to today, I want to go to the center for my English class, yesterday I obviously didn't go. But I was worried on Mon & Tues cause I seem to have lost some really good students. Yes I am getting more, but where is Berta, Miriam, Rueben, Dora, Isabel, Alejandra, Carmina? Ok I know where Rueben and Dora are, and Jessica is going to find out where they live so I can go visit and ask them to come back. Rueben's wife thought the class was laughing at her, which we were not, and now all three do not come. She was in the sewing group, anyway I want to go and try to talk to her. But the rest..they are all the ones who were working on the song for the gift to Karen and Mark, I hope some show back up this week, and then I missed yesterday..I left for 2 weeks and came back to a different scenario. In fact I had too many students for one class since half were new, that;s why I made 2 classes; M-W and T-Th. I have to be there in 3 hours, but I'll try to go in 2 so they see me...and maybe I can feel back in the swing of things.
We also had no classes with Laurie, our new Spanish teacher because she has a sinus infection this week, so maybe this is just a funky week, eh? I'll also try to get back to walking tonite, I am up to the whole hour, and only missed yesterday, so we'll see today- probly as soon as I eat I'll feel better. It's not super hot outside and it is very windy, but living here I have come to love the wind ha ha. In Playa Ventura even the wind was hot, but here it is a cooling influence.
Ok Everardo is making us breakfast and I need to get dressed. I feel better already, mentally as well. I think I'm different, calmer, more "ok" with who I am. I'm grateful for that. See I always say I'm not sorry for the time we spent in Playa Ventura; it was my huge jump in self awareness, my spirituality, acceptance. It feels good. Viva!
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