Yes it is truly a Christmas miracle! But in my way, I always have to go back a few steps before I go forward. I'm so glad I wrote last nite. Ha ha for anyone who read it, it was probly a bore because it was me trying to figure out how I felt about a lot of things. It always starts out with just one small feeling or thought, but then that feeling or thought is of course, connected to another emotion and then I'm off to the races. I needed it write it out though. I was kind of in a funk, thinking about my path and not seeing my progress only m failures. Yeah and I got a lot of those all right, but I also have success. Awareness is success for me, is progress. Being able to identify how I feel is progress, and sometimes what works is thinking things thru, sometimes I need more- to talk it thru- but sometimes writing it out is what works for me. I felt so much better last nite when I closed down my laptop. I felt hope...and tried to remember that if I do the best I can, and really remember that what other people think and do is not my business ha ha I do better. So it's ok that I still need to work on the same stuff...acceptance, forgiveness, letting go of judgement and resentments. Anyway I felt good when I put on my sweat pants and sweat shirt to go to bed ha ha!! Yeah last nite I slept in sweats, and at first my knit hat and sweatshirt hood, socks and slippers; I did wake up in the middle of the nite and take off the knit hat...but I was warm.
I still felt like I was catching a cold when I woke up though. I felt it all day yesterday..a little headache just on one side, it felt like it came from my head being cold in bed the nite before. Everardo didn't want me to exercise this morning because it's gray and sprinkly outside. But you know what, yesterday I was in a funk. Part of it was that I have been the same weight since Dec 2, and then I only dropped a pound or two thru all of November. I felt stuck and frustrated. I have been exercising and eating right all these months...I recently changed up my exercise routine to try to get myself going....but hadn't seen any changes. Yeah you're thinking I lost weight so that's the Christmas miracle right? ar ar ar ar!! Nope! Well actually I did lose 2 pounds so yes I was happy this morning. I went out all bundled up and did my zumba/rock routine down on the beach- I was gonna do it right in front of the house where there's some flat ground, so if it really started raining I could duck inside for a hot shower, but it was warmer outside than inside so I went down to the beach instead. It just sprinkled a little so I did the whole hour. Then in for a long hot shower, my protein shake and an aspirin. My head didn't hurt but I'm stuffy and I don't want the cold to get me. When I was reading my blog from this time last year I saw I was really sick....but I wasn't exercising or eating right so I think I can head this one off.
A couple of weeks ago we had a couple of pills left from a few different kinds of cold medicine but Everardo was sick and he took all of it except one that dissolves in a glass of water and one that's a tea. I'll try one of them tonite, but you know what? I believe in the power of chicken soup. Chicken noodle to be more specific, but try to find THAT around here- ha ha no way! But we do have some chicken bullion cubes so I had that with saltine crackers....and I also believe that mindset is part of it- if I believe that will relieve my symptoms, then it will. Mexico has as many cold remedies as the U.S., it's just hard to read all the labels ha ha. Grippa is a cold, and there's a pill in a red box called Grippa and I like those but I gave the last 2 to Everardo. He'll probly make chicken soup later. But I was just feeling so much more positive today, and exercising always gives me that feeling of well being- yeah I know- the endorphins....bring 'em on!
It's funny a month ago we were down south, where it never gets as cold as it is right now- and I need to remember that I grew to miss being cold, that I longed for the climate of northern Calif....ok so now we got it. I'm pulling out sweat shirts and pants and socks ha ha. And this is just the beginning of winter.
Ok so now for the Christmas miracle...and it's not mine. Everardo has a daughter he hasn't seen since she was a baby, 30 years ago. She has never met him. She found him on facebook!!! Just an hour ago! Her name is Mary Ann. And he has a grandson! 9 years old. She wants to come and visit us over Christmas! She lives in Oregon and is thinking about moving back to California. As it turns out she was actually in Ensenada last June; she has an aunt & uncle building a house there...so about a half hour from us. They chatted on facebook for a little while and then he asked her if she wanted to talk on the phone. She did! I talked to her, too and she told me she has been looking for him for years! He told he that he was not a good man back in 1984 and her mother was right to not want him around. He did try to find out about her over the years but the mom did not want him to know her or anything about her. He respected that, but still thought and talked about her. 2 years ago when we first came to Mexico his other ex contacted him and he met his now about to be 18 year old daughter, Elena. She lives near where we lived in Calif and I have wondered about her timing of contacting us after we moved away.....She still lives at home of course, and has her own busy life. She has kind of hinted that after she turns 18 she might want to meet him. I met her when I went up there, she's a very sweet girl, and my daughter has reached out to her a few times, but we're just not sure what or how Elena feels. But this young woman, she is 30 years old and wants to meet him. I read on her facebook after we all talked on the phone and she had written how she just found her bio dad and was feeling very emotional....then she reached out to him and now she's trying to plan to come down over Christmas. I was crying (of course ha ha). He is very happy...but he keeps his emotions inside...if I wait, and don't push, which is very hard for me....he will open up little by little. The funny thing is, she found him because he had her baby picture on his facebook and she has the same picture. She told me she has been searching facebook about every 6 months for 5 or 6 years looking for him! I told her he's had facebook for about 4 years...but since I've known him he has always talked about her. Her mother was very close friends with one of his cousins, that's how they met, but when they broke up, the 2 women also stopped seeing each other. I suspect the mother asked his cousin not to pass along any infor regarding her or her daughter.
Hmmm what will come next? She told me she's fluent in Spanish! Man everyone but me ha ha! Everardo can't believe he's a grandpa. Who knows maybe we'll go back before 5 years....I guess I won't die if I have to go back to work- it's so weird I dreamed last nite that I got a job...it must have been a manufacturing company because what I remember about the dream was I was asking about their product structure...bills of materials...marketing part numbers....aarrgghhh! If we lived in northern Calif we'd be so much closer to Portland Oregon....I don't know what's going to happen but I think about being near Danica as she grows up, even though she has grandmas and grandpas already, but she's the new daughter of my daughter..., and if Drew ever tells me she pregnant- or Halla although I hope not to hear those words from her for a long time- she's way way way too young to have a baby...but if Drewy was pregnant...well I would want to go back. So I am just writing down my thoughts as they come again! But at least they are happy thoughts!!! Boy we are a family of girls! 2 daughters for me and 2 for him.
So.......I'm so happy. I feel good sticking to my exercise...Poppi is making our afternoon juice right now....so I'm sticking to eating right as well. The couple of Christmas events we're attending will be hard...well only if my trigger foods- the ones that remind me of when I was kid. My mom always made so many kinds of Christmas cookies...sugar cookies of course, but she used green dye when she made the tiny green Christmas trees and decorated them with these little silver balls...and she made these other ones...what were they called? They were round and had nuts- walnut pieces in them and rolled in powdered sugar...Mexican wedding cakes! If I saw those I'd be in trouble, but fruitcake ha ha yuck, or other kinds of cookies or even candy canes...don't bother me a bit. In fact I have 2 boxes of small candy canes to put on the tree on Christmas Eve and haven't thought once about eating any of them. Yeah growing up, and then as my kids were growing up, Santa would put the candy canes on the tree when he came. I'm gonna try to call Drewy tonite and tell her she has another step sister and this one is closer to her age. I know she wishes she had more family, or at least that the family she has was closer. I guess that's the dysfunction on my side (ha ha the ONLY one??) that we are not close...and right now even her little sister doesn't show up for much, and Elena even less. She has friends with big families and she misses it. When she was little there was a family down the street who had something like 7 sisters and Drew loved loved going down to play at their house- she didn't care with which kid; she liked the chaos. Funny thing was, the oldest sister who was a couple of years older than Drewy loved loved to come to our house, even when Drewy wasn't home, to just sit in the quiet...she was amazed just Drewy and I lived there and loved how calm and quiet it was. Grass is always greener eh?
Anyway.......wonderful day today...lost a couple of pounds and found a daughter. Thanx universe!! Viva
I need to contact my friend and see if we're going to the states on Thurs...hmm maybe I can do it right now...hold on...well she's not online right now....I'm so happy for my husband...yes he keeps his emotions inside, but I can tell he is very happy right now. He's so cute.
I still felt like I was catching a cold when I woke up though. I felt it all day yesterday..a little headache just on one side, it felt like it came from my head being cold in bed the nite before. Everardo didn't want me to exercise this morning because it's gray and sprinkly outside. But you know what, yesterday I was in a funk. Part of it was that I have been the same weight since Dec 2, and then I only dropped a pound or two thru all of November. I felt stuck and frustrated. I have been exercising and eating right all these months...I recently changed up my exercise routine to try to get myself going....but hadn't seen any changes. Yeah you're thinking I lost weight so that's the Christmas miracle right? ar ar ar ar!! Nope! Well actually I did lose 2 pounds so yes I was happy this morning. I went out all bundled up and did my zumba/rock routine down on the beach- I was gonna do it right in front of the house where there's some flat ground, so if it really started raining I could duck inside for a hot shower, but it was warmer outside than inside so I went down to the beach instead. It just sprinkled a little so I did the whole hour. Then in for a long hot shower, my protein shake and an aspirin. My head didn't hurt but I'm stuffy and I don't want the cold to get me. When I was reading my blog from this time last year I saw I was really sick....but I wasn't exercising or eating right so I think I can head this one off.
A couple of weeks ago we had a couple of pills left from a few different kinds of cold medicine but Everardo was sick and he took all of it except one that dissolves in a glass of water and one that's a tea. I'll try one of them tonite, but you know what? I believe in the power of chicken soup. Chicken noodle to be more specific, but try to find THAT around here- ha ha no way! But we do have some chicken bullion cubes so I had that with saltine crackers....and I also believe that mindset is part of it- if I believe that will relieve my symptoms, then it will. Mexico has as many cold remedies as the U.S., it's just hard to read all the labels ha ha. Grippa is a cold, and there's a pill in a red box called Grippa and I like those but I gave the last 2 to Everardo. He'll probly make chicken soup later. But I was just feeling so much more positive today, and exercising always gives me that feeling of well being- yeah I know- the endorphins....bring 'em on!
It's funny a month ago we were down south, where it never gets as cold as it is right now- and I need to remember that I grew to miss being cold, that I longed for the climate of northern Calif....ok so now we got it. I'm pulling out sweat shirts and pants and socks ha ha. And this is just the beginning of winter.
Ok so now for the Christmas miracle...and it's not mine. Everardo has a daughter he hasn't seen since she was a baby, 30 years ago. She has never met him. She found him on facebook!!! Just an hour ago! Her name is Mary Ann. And he has a grandson! 9 years old. She wants to come and visit us over Christmas! She lives in Oregon and is thinking about moving back to California. As it turns out she was actually in Ensenada last June; she has an aunt & uncle building a house there...so about a half hour from us. They chatted on facebook for a little while and then he asked her if she wanted to talk on the phone. She did! I talked to her, too and she told me she has been looking for him for years! He told he that he was not a good man back in 1984 and her mother was right to not want him around. He did try to find out about her over the years but the mom did not want him to know her or anything about her. He respected that, but still thought and talked about her. 2 years ago when we first came to Mexico his other ex contacted him and he met his now about to be 18 year old daughter, Elena. She lives near where we lived in Calif and I have wondered about her timing of contacting us after we moved away.....She still lives at home of course, and has her own busy life. She has kind of hinted that after she turns 18 she might want to meet him. I met her when I went up there, she's a very sweet girl, and my daughter has reached out to her a few times, but we're just not sure what or how Elena feels. But this young woman, she is 30 years old and wants to meet him. I read on her facebook after we all talked on the phone and she had written how she just found her bio dad and was feeling very emotional....then she reached out to him and now she's trying to plan to come down over Christmas. I was crying (of course ha ha). He is very happy...but he keeps his emotions inside...if I wait, and don't push, which is very hard for me....he will open up little by little. The funny thing is, she found him because he had her baby picture on his facebook and she has the same picture. She told me she has been searching facebook about every 6 months for 5 or 6 years looking for him! I told her he's had facebook for about 4 years...but since I've known him he has always talked about her. Her mother was very close friends with one of his cousins, that's how they met, but when they broke up, the 2 women also stopped seeing each other. I suspect the mother asked his cousin not to pass along any infor regarding her or her daughter.
Hmmm what will come next? She told me she's fluent in Spanish! Man everyone but me ha ha! Everardo can't believe he's a grandpa. Who knows maybe we'll go back before 5 years....I guess I won't die if I have to go back to work- it's so weird I dreamed last nite that I got a job...it must have been a manufacturing company because what I remember about the dream was I was asking about their product structure...bills of materials...marketing part numbers....aarrgghhh! If we lived in northern Calif we'd be so much closer to Portland Oregon....I don't know what's going to happen but I think about being near Danica as she grows up, even though she has grandmas and grandpas already, but she's the new daughter of my daughter..., and if Drew ever tells me she pregnant- or Halla although I hope not to hear those words from her for a long time- she's way way way too young to have a baby...but if Drewy was pregnant...well I would want to go back. So I am just writing down my thoughts as they come again! But at least they are happy thoughts!!! Boy we are a family of girls! 2 daughters for me and 2 for him.
So.......I'm so happy. I feel good sticking to my exercise...Poppi is making our afternoon juice right now....so I'm sticking to eating right as well. The couple of Christmas events we're attending will be hard...well only if my trigger foods- the ones that remind me of when I was kid. My mom always made so many kinds of Christmas cookies...sugar cookies of course, but she used green dye when she made the tiny green Christmas trees and decorated them with these little silver balls...and she made these other ones...what were they called? They were round and had nuts- walnut pieces in them and rolled in powdered sugar...Mexican wedding cakes! If I saw those I'd be in trouble, but fruitcake ha ha yuck, or other kinds of cookies or even candy canes...don't bother me a bit. In fact I have 2 boxes of small candy canes to put on the tree on Christmas Eve and haven't thought once about eating any of them. Yeah growing up, and then as my kids were growing up, Santa would put the candy canes on the tree when he came. I'm gonna try to call Drewy tonite and tell her she has another step sister and this one is closer to her age. I know she wishes she had more family, or at least that the family she has was closer. I guess that's the dysfunction on my side (ha ha the ONLY one??) that we are not close...and right now even her little sister doesn't show up for much, and Elena even less. She has friends with big families and she misses it. When she was little there was a family down the street who had something like 7 sisters and Drew loved loved going down to play at their house- she didn't care with which kid; she liked the chaos. Funny thing was, the oldest sister who was a couple of years older than Drewy loved loved to come to our house, even when Drewy wasn't home, to just sit in the quiet...she was amazed just Drewy and I lived there and loved how calm and quiet it was. Grass is always greener eh?
Anyway.......wonderful day today...lost a couple of pounds and found a daughter. Thanx universe!! Viva
I need to contact my friend and see if we're going to the states on Thurs...hmm maybe I can do it right now...hold on...well she's not online right now....I'm so happy for my husband...yes he keeps his emotions inside, but I can tell he is very happy right now. He's so cute.
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