Here I am writing again- 3 days in a row. Weather report.....rainy and cold. Well the painful cold has been at nite, but last nite I didn't shiver all nite...am I just assimilating? That would be awesome ha ha, but maybe it just wasn't as cold since it was raining so much. Living on dirt roads for the 3rd winter in a row. I went to an AA meeting late this afternoon, and it was dark when I left home. Some idiot had their high beams on and didn't turn them down so as I crawled by them I hit a big mud puddle that shot mud onto my windshield. That sucked- I couldn't use the wipers cause I'm pretty sure there's no water in the wiper wells so I would have just smeared the mud and not been able to drive any further, so I drove with my neck all twisty to see thru the drops ha ha. Lucklily it's not far and nobody else killed me with their high beams. I tell you though- in Mexico people drive with their damn high beams all the time! Sometimes it's because they don't have low beams, so I don't usually flick my on and off...

I tell you- in Mexico cars are on the road in all kinds of disrepair ha ha. Lights missing or out, lots of cars with no brake lights so you really really gotta watch close. People have no license plates, no bumpers, bad exhaust, crazy tires...sometimes it's funny...more often just scary. I hate driving in Ensenada. The whole make a left turn lane right at the light because you don't want to wait in line, and how extra cars go even after the light is red. I do like how the green light blinks 3 times before it goes to yellow...you see people speeding up or slowing down. But I do drive in Ensenada. And I drove in Penasco...which is more of a town than a city. Ensenada is big, but spread out. I would be very uncomfortable driving in Acapulco, Morelia, Guadalajara....and that's nothing to do with dirt roads, that's all about crazy traffic.

I did my exercise routine inside when it rained, but today it cleared up while I was doing weights so I went back to the beach to dance. The sun came out and the wind blew all the clouds away....for now. Huge puddles in the road, and for some reason the rain eats away the road and it's filled with all the crazy hole. Yes big puddles, but also all these small deeper holes that jar your bones when you hit them. I went to my meditation group this afternoon and it was at the beginning of the spit road- and we live at the end. The view was about the same as here, but the guy who lives there was saying it gets packed with people on the beach outside his house during the summer and any holidays, and down here it's almost always empty, just a few here and there walking, or surfers in the distance. I like our end better, the beach feels private even though it's a public beach. Everardo found a small leak in the roof over the spare bedroom and fixed it for now, but it needs a better fix, which the owners have said will get done but supposedly they are going to be fixing a bunch of houses here, and we are "just the trailer"....he's gonna have to stay on them to get it done. Not sure but I think the rain is gone for at least a few days. I hope to go back to that rehab place to see if I can get involved with them.


Well Everardo is still very happy about his daughter contacting him and they talked some more today. He also showed up with a mysterious already wrapped big box and the card says...for the owner of my heart........mmmm I like that ha ha. I can't believe Christmas is in a week. I am not going to the states tomorrow or anytime before Christmas and that's ok- has to be, right? We'll go to Ensenada and get some sweaters/jackets to give out and the dogs bones will have to wait. But Friday nite my friend Jan and her husband are having an open house that I think we will enjoy...she is an amazing cook and today when I called her she was making a carmel dip for apple slices and said she was going to make Christmas cookies just for me. Yeah....gonna have to try a couple I think. Wow- a couple of days ago I was in a funk, and now am simply content. I'm exercising, eating right, learning to meditate, trying to be aware....I was at first depressed when I saw I want the same things for next year that I wanted for this year....but I realized that I am further down the path....today I thought about it more and it's true. We are always changing...and living in Mexico has just helped me to see things about myself, and the world that I might not have seen or as quickly (?) I feel like I know myself better, and am ok with it. Some little things some bigger things..for me anyway. The only problem is that I continue to miss my daughters. Drewy more than anything. I think I said before, the younger one has not time for me anyway...and I think that's just her age. Everardo's younger daughter, who has only been in contact with him for 2 years, is too busy for him, too! It's the age. But I miss Drewy so much, every day. I love talking to her about whatever they're doing. I love to see her beautiful face in picture on Facebook. For all the crap on facebook- I gotta love it....my husband's long lost daughter found him! A couple of women I went to high school with I am now in contact with mean alot to me, and a few others that it's just nice to see what they are doing. I see my family...my older sister who does not "do" facebook goes on mine to see pics every so often. I chat with people when the phone is not convenient....etc etc etc. Anyway sometimes I wish I was closer so I could babysit Danica....or Cookie their 1 yr old huge dog. I laugh to myself when I think of us trying to find a place to rent and know it won't be like renting a place here.

This place had no knobs on the cabinets or hooks for the curtains...the last place had no fridge. Lots of places have no stove...they have no heat...you have to buy a propane portable if you want heat. Some have no hot water heaters. Well and everywhere you of course have to bring drinking water to, and may need to truck in shower/toilet water. Ha ha I never knew how good we had it in the states! We have no plans to go back anytime soon. But when we do I hope the plan is still northern Calif. I want to be near my daughters. Maybe no more than a day away. Closer would be better; like to be able to babysit, or have dinner...but rents are sooo expensive....ouch I soooooo don't want to go back to work....but maybe I will, maybe I will....part time would probably be enough. Will the new me stay the new me when we go back?? ha ha in some ways yes of course...the bigger changes in me. But will I be able to stay out of trouble...meaning getting involved in things that are not my business, like a big part of my children's lives ha ha?? Thoughts for another day I think. Now I'm gonna sit back and watch the patterns the blinking lights make on my tree. Viva