STILL SICK! But I still went to the community center today for English class. As it turned out only one student was there and he was helping in the garden and said tomorrow would be better. That was ok with me. I st with Karen, the director for a little while and chatted- me in a whisper cause when I whisper I don't cough ha ha. Then I went home- but oh before I went, Eidad, the Mexican lady who also speaks English and basically coordinates everything out there, wrote down a pill she said I needed to take. Ha ha more pills. But I was more inclined to listen to her, a mom, so when I got home Everardo went and got me some- after I googled it of course! I have been taking so many meds in the last few days- it feels like anyway. She said it would dry up the crap in my throat, that I would stop coughing. So I googled it and it said it would dry me up, that it lets the celia- or something not be swollen, blah blah blah but it was good blah and no scary side effects...and of course is available everywhere except the US ha ha. hmmm maybe they haven't figured out how to make it cheap and sell it super expensively. It's called Ambroxol.Check it out. I took one about 5 hours ago, and do feel somewhat better, but ha ha been saying that every day. However, one gift was, I started feeling a little sleepy, and took a small nap! Yippe cause I have not been able to get to sleep before about 3am and then wake up around 8am- that's not good for me. So between that and some good ole' Vicks 44 cough syrup I'm ok.
I was chatting with my older daughter Drewy last nite on FB and we talked forever about all her plans to get married. We have so many of the same ideas! And I'm so happy that her sister is gonna be her maid of honor, and her cousin will be one of the bridesmaids. She has so many ideas. And maybe we will attend with out newest family memeber, Elena, Everardo's daughter. Now that would be cool. Then this morning I chatted with Halla, daughter #2 and we also had a great talk. She is also full of new plans- she wants to save her money for a year and then go on a year trip with her friend, with WWOOF (World Wide Opportunity for Organic Farming), I believe it's in 3rd world countries, and you stay on these farms and work for room and board. I think the experience will be amazing and I hope she does it. She just got a new job in a nice resturant and is very excited and happy. She's in her second year of college, so I guess she'll take off a year, then hopefully come back and finish- or maybe she'll finish year 3 since school is out in a few months right? Yeah that must be it. I am so proud of my children. Thank god neither of them are alcoholics like me! I mean, for me it turned out to be a good thing, cause my life is so good today, and I don't know if I would figured it out this well otherwise, really who knows? But I had to fuck up my life for alot of years before I got it and my 20's are lost in am alcoholic cocaine blur.
Yesterday I celebrated 12 years of sobriety. Yipee. Although by the end of my 20's I was not doing drugs, and then I had Drewy, then Halla 8 years later, what a waste my 20's were. Party only. Abusive relationship, ignored my family...not good. But, if I hadn't gone that route Drewy wouldn't be the perfect Drew she is today, she saved my life just by being born. I walked away from drugs and abusive relationships, and my life immediately changed. I got promoted at work within 6 months, and a few more months I became a boss. I saved my money and bought a house by myself when I was 32, 1600 sq feet for just me and my Drewy who was 4 ha ha. 3 bedrooms, a huge backyard, but ever so slowly my drinking increased. I drank for 12 more years. I am so grateful though, that I guess I was a functioning alcoholic, mostly I hurt only me. Now I know that's crap, cause you hurt everyone around you and my ex husband got that gift! But I was around for my kids, sometimes albeit in body more than mind, but I spent alot of time regretting how bad a mother I was, but now I see that's not totally true. We had birthday parties and camping trips, fun Christmas, Easter egg hunts, school recitals, ha ha Drewy in ballet, then soccer, her teacher's desk in the garage, we partied with the neighbors, had bbq'a and inflated pools both kids and adults played in. When Halla was born I had this rocking chair that Drewy has in her house now, and I rocked her to sleep every nite in it. Ha ha a good idea for the first year, but then getting her to just go to sleep on her own...man impossible, having to lay down with her ha ha. With Drewy my mom said you just wrap 'em up tight and put her in the crib, let her cry it out for a few days and she'll learn to comfort herself. I did that, and it worked, but I sat on the floor outside her door and cried every nite for the week it took. And that was as a tiny baby (her- not me). Now the good thing was she always went to bed so good, we could make noise, didn't matter, but I think there's a middle ground, and the Halla way was maybe better. And when it was just me and Drewy, I let her climb in and sleep with me, alot ha ha. I would carry her back to bed in the middle of the nite. And no matter where we lived, and she & I lived in Novato, Ignacio, Anaheim, San Rafael, then American Canyon, she would get up after I put her bed and sneak down the hall so she was near me, and when I'd get up to go to the bathroom I find her in a sleepy heap....Yeah we lived 5 places in her first 5 years, so when we hit American Canyon I promised we'd stay until she finished high school- we didn't though, we stayed 7 years, and at the end of 6th grade a deare friend gave us an amazing gift and we moved to Petaluma. That was good since at the time there was no middle school out there and her only choice was a bus into Napa or a bus into Vallejo (not a great place at the time). We lived in Petaluma for the last 15 years, until I moved to Mexico, and I still have a house there. Her Dad and sister still live there, and she's moved a town away, but at least she has roots now. And family. My sister lives near also and they have 4 kids. We are all close.
Anyway I was watching Criminal Minds the other nite, and the killer was this crazy guy who had this condition that crossed some of his senses, and he could "see" people's words and they were in color, like white was honesty, orange were liars, red bad people, and he killed accordingly. It reminded me of a time when I was completely smashed and I was telling people they were colors and altho I don;t remember much more than that, the following Monday everybody told m eit was weird cause it was all spot on! More people kept saying- do me do me and so I would tell them about themselves ha ha! It was a work party my best boss ever (Dominic) had me and a couple of others set up for after work across the highway at this Mexican restaurant, just because, because everybody worked hard, and we were customer service so we always dealt with all the shit from customers, and fixed all the problems and really got no recognition...so my boss was very cool and had an all you can eat....and DRINK party for us. Well while we were setting up I do remember I had 10 mudslide shots. 10! Then I started drinking beer along wit them. I have faint recollection of sitting one one of the tables telling somebody about what color they were. Not sure I ever ate anything, it usually got in the way of my drinking- and this was no kids to be responsible for so I could go for it. Well luckily my keys were taken from me, since I lived 45 minutes on the highway away, and a guy gave me a ride. Apparently he rolled down the window in time and pushed my head thru it so I only barfed on the outside of his truck. When he got me home, he called my husband on the phone to come out and opened the truck door and I fell out onto the lawn. Very attractive. NOT It was Friday and the next day I was humiliated, mortified, and sur I was fired, so I went into work to get all my personal stuff out of my office so that Monday when I was fired it would be easy to leave. To my surprise and dismay, my boss was at work!! I tried to apologize and said I was willing to resign to avoid being fired. When he stopped laughing he said- you don't have to quit. I own you now! You are so filled with guilt I can trust you with anything. You are no my biggest asset! He was the most amazing boss. I'd like to stay I quit drinking after that, but it was still a couple of more years...
Oooh when I go visit up there I hope the rocking chair is in my bedroom at my daughters. That boss later moved back to NY and we stay in touch. Wow anything about Mexico today? Hmmm the weather sucks! It's cold as hell and I guess records are being set with it snowing in Phoenix. It better start getting warm soon, cause I don't want my hubby to have to paint yet another house! ha ha that's a joke insinuating another move, still north like this but warmer....maybe Baja??? Luckily he doesn't read this!!
I was chatting with my older daughter Drewy last nite on FB and we talked forever about all her plans to get married. We have so many of the same ideas! And I'm so happy that her sister is gonna be her maid of honor, and her cousin will be one of the bridesmaids. She has so many ideas. And maybe we will attend with out newest family memeber, Elena, Everardo's daughter. Now that would be cool. Then this morning I chatted with Halla, daughter #2 and we also had a great talk. She is also full of new plans- she wants to save her money for a year and then go on a year trip with her friend, with WWOOF (World Wide Opportunity for Organic Farming), I believe it's in 3rd world countries, and you stay on these farms and work for room and board. I think the experience will be amazing and I hope she does it. She just got a new job in a nice resturant and is very excited and happy. She's in her second year of college, so I guess she'll take off a year, then hopefully come back and finish- or maybe she'll finish year 3 since school is out in a few months right? Yeah that must be it. I am so proud of my children. Thank god neither of them are alcoholics like me! I mean, for me it turned out to be a good thing, cause my life is so good today, and I don't know if I would figured it out this well otherwise, really who knows? But I had to fuck up my life for alot of years before I got it and my 20's are lost in am alcoholic cocaine blur.
Yesterday I celebrated 12 years of sobriety. Yipee. Although by the end of my 20's I was not doing drugs, and then I had Drewy, then Halla 8 years later, what a waste my 20's were. Party only. Abusive relationship, ignored my family...not good. But, if I hadn't gone that route Drewy wouldn't be the perfect Drew she is today, she saved my life just by being born. I walked away from drugs and abusive relationships, and my life immediately changed. I got promoted at work within 6 months, and a few more months I became a boss. I saved my money and bought a house by myself when I was 32, 1600 sq feet for just me and my Drewy who was 4 ha ha. 3 bedrooms, a huge backyard, but ever so slowly my drinking increased. I drank for 12 more years. I am so grateful though, that I guess I was a functioning alcoholic, mostly I hurt only me. Now I know that's crap, cause you hurt everyone around you and my ex husband got that gift! But I was around for my kids, sometimes albeit in body more than mind, but I spent alot of time regretting how bad a mother I was, but now I see that's not totally true. We had birthday parties and camping trips, fun Christmas, Easter egg hunts, school recitals, ha ha Drewy in ballet, then soccer, her teacher's desk in the garage, we partied with the neighbors, had bbq'a and inflated pools both kids and adults played in. When Halla was born I had this rocking chair that Drewy has in her house now, and I rocked her to sleep every nite in it. Ha ha a good idea for the first year, but then getting her to just go to sleep on her own...man impossible, having to lay down with her ha ha. With Drewy my mom said you just wrap 'em up tight and put her in the crib, let her cry it out for a few days and she'll learn to comfort herself. I did that, and it worked, but I sat on the floor outside her door and cried every nite for the week it took. And that was as a tiny baby (her- not me). Now the good thing was she always went to bed so good, we could make noise, didn't matter, but I think there's a middle ground, and the Halla way was maybe better. And when it was just me and Drewy, I let her climb in and sleep with me, alot ha ha. I would carry her back to bed in the middle of the nite. And no matter where we lived, and she & I lived in Novato, Ignacio, Anaheim, San Rafael, then American Canyon, she would get up after I put her bed and sneak down the hall so she was near me, and when I'd get up to go to the bathroom I find her in a sleepy heap....Yeah we lived 5 places in her first 5 years, so when we hit American Canyon I promised we'd stay until she finished high school- we didn't though, we stayed 7 years, and at the end of 6th grade a deare friend gave us an amazing gift and we moved to Petaluma. That was good since at the time there was no middle school out there and her only choice was a bus into Napa or a bus into Vallejo (not a great place at the time). We lived in Petaluma for the last 15 years, until I moved to Mexico, and I still have a house there. Her Dad and sister still live there, and she's moved a town away, but at least she has roots now. And family. My sister lives near also and they have 4 kids. We are all close.
Anyway I was watching Criminal Minds the other nite, and the killer was this crazy guy who had this condition that crossed some of his senses, and he could "see" people's words and they were in color, like white was honesty, orange were liars, red bad people, and he killed accordingly. It reminded me of a time when I was completely smashed and I was telling people they were colors and altho I don;t remember much more than that, the following Monday everybody told m eit was weird cause it was all spot on! More people kept saying- do me do me and so I would tell them about themselves ha ha! It was a work party my best boss ever (Dominic) had me and a couple of others set up for after work across the highway at this Mexican restaurant, just because, because everybody worked hard, and we were customer service so we always dealt with all the shit from customers, and fixed all the problems and really got no recognition...so my boss was very cool and had an all you can eat....and DRINK party for us. Well while we were setting up I do remember I had 10 mudslide shots. 10! Then I started drinking beer along wit them. I have faint recollection of sitting one one of the tables telling somebody about what color they were. Not sure I ever ate anything, it usually got in the way of my drinking- and this was no kids to be responsible for so I could go for it. Well luckily my keys were taken from me, since I lived 45 minutes on the highway away, and a guy gave me a ride. Apparently he rolled down the window in time and pushed my head thru it so I only barfed on the outside of his truck. When he got me home, he called my husband on the phone to come out and opened the truck door and I fell out onto the lawn. Very attractive. NOT It was Friday and the next day I was humiliated, mortified, and sur I was fired, so I went into work to get all my personal stuff out of my office so that Monday when I was fired it would be easy to leave. To my surprise and dismay, my boss was at work!! I tried to apologize and said I was willing to resign to avoid being fired. When he stopped laughing he said- you don't have to quit. I own you now! You are so filled with guilt I can trust you with anything. You are no my biggest asset! He was the most amazing boss. I'd like to stay I quit drinking after that, but it was still a couple of more years...
Oooh when I go visit up there I hope the rocking chair is in my bedroom at my daughters. That boss later moved back to NY and we stay in touch. Wow anything about Mexico today? Hmmm the weather sucks! It's cold as hell and I guess records are being set with it snowing in Phoenix. It better start getting warm soon, cause I don't want my hubby to have to paint yet another house! ha ha that's a joke insinuating another move, still north like this but warmer....maybe Baja??? Luckily he doesn't read this!!
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