Woke up this morning after sleeping the entire nite!! Yipee! Yeah I still have a bit of a cough, don't know how long it will hang in, but enough already. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, put on makeup, and went to my meeting, which I hadn't been to in a week. Felt good. The isolation was starting to set in, and yesterday again I had to push it down, those feelings. I was looking at pictures from Petaluma (Calif) and I wanted to go home. I saw my nice green law, green bushes, and well this cold dry non green desert was just suffocating me yesterday.
So after the meeting I followed my friend Pam and she showed me where Playa del Oro RV park is; that's where I start my Spanish lessons tomorrow! Another yipee. Tue and Thur 9-11am, so 2 hours twice a week. Originally I had wanted to hook up with Karen and Mark who wanted 1 hour, 3 days a week, 8:30-9:30 a. MWF, but they haven't gotten it together, and truthfully, after I thought about it- 9-11 is better for me. I can still get up as late as 8am, have breakfast, go to class, and then out to the center after that- so hopefully after class I will have opportunity for practice. I have completely fallen off exercise, but I can get back on that as well. Maybe MWF I get up for eliptical and a meetings, and on T TH I either don;t exercise, or can do it in the afternoon. I seem to get home from the center around 3 to 3:30, and well, I'll just see. Everardo got a job down on the malecon working for a lady with a souvenir shop, and also his friend Nicco says he can work with him as well. So he will be busy at least 5 days a week; really 7 since I assume more tourists on weekends, right?
So I'm back to all my options are good. I really want to exercise because i feel better. I get that I am just never gonna be thin again. I mean if I wanted it more than anything, I could get there, but it's more like I want it more than anything for awhile....then not so much ha ha. But I really do want to get to be fluent. I have been saying this forever. Long before we moved down here. Then after we moved, but I could not find my way in Guerrero- not I have no excuse. So is it true or is it not? I hope it is true. I get to find out. It looks like the people I will be in class with are a couple of retired people, so a small class of 3, to start. It's an intermediate level, which I think that I am. But as I say, I can speak much better than I can understand ha ha. I guess cause I have time to think up things in my head. I watch subtitles on tv, I listen when I can. I think I prbly know more than I think, but there are just so many words, so many subjects. So I am excited about starting this. And I am willing to give it my all- make a commitment. The only other thing I have going on is the community center, and it seems that the afternoon class is the only one that's working...in the morning the kids are just fooling around. That's fine, but they don't need me for that; they have Kelly, this really nice 18 year old girl who the kids adore. She's some kind of missionary and she goes out every day. If it turns out that there's more I can do out there, then great, but I want to put this language thing first. For me.
I'm also hearing about an orphanage where there are some kids who need some attention and I'm interested in knowing what's going on out there, but, Spanish lessons first....Anda was talking about it and I need to ask her if she's looked into it any more. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog- which is what happens to me after I've been sick- I have medicine head, a little foggy, even today.
You know if I can become fluent, then maybe if we move back to the states in a couple of years there will be jobs available that need someone bilingual. This summer is only a few months away, and we will start the process to try to get Everardo a visa. I pray every nite that he gets one. His uncle is so old, and really failing, and I know he feels he needs to see him. His aunt is in good health but she is also old, and now that he has found Elena, well I know he is feeling alot of responsibility towards his family. And he wants me to be near my daughters, too. I know I wanted to move here. I wanted to try something new, and neither of us are sorry we moved here. For me, to live in a thrid world country is way different than visiting. I have visited alot of countries where people struggle simply to live. I have visited alot of cultures. But living somewhere is different. And I have learned so much in such a short time. About others, but mainly about myself. How lucky I am, I'm trying to remember to be grateful for everything I have in my life. And I continue to learn how I feel about things, and/or to see the same things in different ways. The whole healthcare system is a huge one for me. It makes me never want to move back to the US- EXCEPT that I want to be near my girls. And so...ha ha the lesson again, for the millionth time in a row- is acceptance. There is no need for the fucking insurance companies charging so much, there is no need for the fucking pharmaceutical companies charging so much to produce these drugs. There is no need for all the fucking doctors to charge so much. It's ALL bullshit. But I know I am not the one who is going to change anything. So, as I say, acceptance.Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Cause when I am not in acceptance- it's about me- not the thing, not the person, not the idea. Me.
I love my family. I am so close to them all right now. From far away I am close. Maybe in another year we will move back, but who knows what comes next. Options- I got options. And oh boy oh boy, the weather is finally in the 70's.....so things are lookin' up!
So after the meeting I followed my friend Pam and she showed me where Playa del Oro RV park is; that's where I start my Spanish lessons tomorrow! Another yipee. Tue and Thur 9-11am, so 2 hours twice a week. Originally I had wanted to hook up with Karen and Mark who wanted 1 hour, 3 days a week, 8:30-9:30 a. MWF, but they haven't gotten it together, and truthfully, after I thought about it- 9-11 is better for me. I can still get up as late as 8am, have breakfast, go to class, and then out to the center after that- so hopefully after class I will have opportunity for practice. I have completely fallen off exercise, but I can get back on that as well. Maybe MWF I get up for eliptical and a meetings, and on T TH I either don;t exercise, or can do it in the afternoon. I seem to get home from the center around 3 to 3:30, and well, I'll just see. Everardo got a job down on the malecon working for a lady with a souvenir shop, and also his friend Nicco says he can work with him as well. So he will be busy at least 5 days a week; really 7 since I assume more tourists on weekends, right?
So I'm back to all my options are good. I really want to exercise because i feel better. I get that I am just never gonna be thin again. I mean if I wanted it more than anything, I could get there, but it's more like I want it more than anything for awhile....then not so much ha ha. But I really do want to get to be fluent. I have been saying this forever. Long before we moved down here. Then after we moved, but I could not find my way in Guerrero- not I have no excuse. So is it true or is it not? I hope it is true. I get to find out. It looks like the people I will be in class with are a couple of retired people, so a small class of 3, to start. It's an intermediate level, which I think that I am. But as I say, I can speak much better than I can understand ha ha. I guess cause I have time to think up things in my head. I watch subtitles on tv, I listen when I can. I think I prbly know more than I think, but there are just so many words, so many subjects. So I am excited about starting this. And I am willing to give it my all- make a commitment. The only other thing I have going on is the community center, and it seems that the afternoon class is the only one that's working...in the morning the kids are just fooling around. That's fine, but they don't need me for that; they have Kelly, this really nice 18 year old girl who the kids adore. She's some kind of missionary and she goes out every day. If it turns out that there's more I can do out there, then great, but I want to put this language thing first. For me.
I'm also hearing about an orphanage where there are some kids who need some attention and I'm interested in knowing what's going on out there, but, Spanish lessons first....Anda was talking about it and I need to ask her if she's looked into it any more. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog- which is what happens to me after I've been sick- I have medicine head, a little foggy, even today.
You know if I can become fluent, then maybe if we move back to the states in a couple of years there will be jobs available that need someone bilingual. This summer is only a few months away, and we will start the process to try to get Everardo a visa. I pray every nite that he gets one. His uncle is so old, and really failing, and I know he feels he needs to see him. His aunt is in good health but she is also old, and now that he has found Elena, well I know he is feeling alot of responsibility towards his family. And he wants me to be near my daughters, too. I know I wanted to move here. I wanted to try something new, and neither of us are sorry we moved here. For me, to live in a thrid world country is way different than visiting. I have visited alot of countries where people struggle simply to live. I have visited alot of cultures. But living somewhere is different. And I have learned so much in such a short time. About others, but mainly about myself. How lucky I am, I'm trying to remember to be grateful for everything I have in my life. And I continue to learn how I feel about things, and/or to see the same things in different ways. The whole healthcare system is a huge one for me. It makes me never want to move back to the US- EXCEPT that I want to be near my girls. And so...ha ha the lesson again, for the millionth time in a row- is acceptance. There is no need for the fucking insurance companies charging so much, there is no need for the fucking pharmaceutical companies charging so much to produce these drugs. There is no need for all the fucking doctors to charge so much. It's ALL bullshit. But I know I am not the one who is going to change anything. So, as I say, acceptance.Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Cause when I am not in acceptance- it's about me- not the thing, not the person, not the idea. Me.
I love my family. I am so close to them all right now. From far away I am close. Maybe in another year we will move back, but who knows what comes next. Options- I got options. And oh boy oh boy, the weather is finally in the 70's.....so things are lookin' up!
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